Chapter 193 – Nijika’s Voice

By the time the clock struck nine at night, STARRY had closed its doors.

Aoki boarded the train, swaying with each stop until he finally made his way back to his apartment

The worried tone of Seika’s words still lingered in his ears.

For some reason, during the ride home, an unshakable restlessness weighed on him.

And really—wasn’t it obvious why? These past few days had been nothing but one problem after another.

His past had been dragged into the open. Corporations had stirred up public opinion against him.

NH Music had suddenly decided to apply pressure.

Contracts had to be rewritten.

Some voices at KL were even questioning whether continuing a deep partnership with Kessoku Band was worth it.

But if he really thought about it—when it came to his own troubles, he could shoulder them.

The matter with Nijika, though… was that really something he should call a problem?

Aoki thought about it. And no, he decided—it wasn’t.

Real problems made his chest tighten with irritation.

But Nijika’s sadness?

No matter how he saw her—whether simply as a friend, something more, or even just someone he couldn’t deny he had feelings for—her sadness struck something different inside him.

Whenever he imagined that Nijika might be hurt because of him, a heavy, indescribable weight pressed down on his heart.

He couldn’t help replaying the thoughts in his mind.

She had said she had a dream: to become the world’s greatest drummer, to play the loudest, brightest sound.

She was so full of life, so cute, right in the bloom of her youth.

Someone like her, with that sweet smile and perfect personality, should be chasing happiness—not carrying sorrow.

A band was supposed to be a source of joy, wasn’t it?

It wasn’t supposed to look like this—

Hesitant words, downcast eyes, reddened rims, and the faintest tremble of sadness.

He remembered that day in the recording studio, when their eyes met—how she’d instinctively looked away.

And if all of this was because of him…

Back in his apartment, Aoki let out a long breath and refocused.

His eyes fell on the clock on the wall.

He stared for a moment before looking away.

After a brief pause, he pulled out his phone.

He didn’t know what he would say if he spoke to Nijika right now.

But even if he didn’t know how to face her—he couldn’t just do nothing.

Resolutely, he tapped the call button.

The phone rang.

And rang.

And rang.

After half a minute, it finally connected.

…

10:13 p.m.

He could hear her breathing on the other end.

Silence stretched.

Neither of them spoke first.

Both lingered in that quiet, just for a moment.

And then—just as he opened his mouth—

Her voice broke through, soft and trembling, cutting off his words.

“Aoki… senpai…”

Her voice wavered, as though holding back a flood of emotion.

“Just… just let the call stay connected like this. Please, Aoki-senpai.”

Her breathing shook faintly in his ear, so close it was as if she were right beside him.

“Right now… no matter what you say… I think I’ll just end up crying.”

“So… please—”

“Just let me stay like this. Don’t let me cry where you can hear it.”

The line froze.

The truth was, Nijika hadn’t wanted to answer his call.

She knew—without a doubt—that if she picked up, the tears would come.

And yet… she couldn’t help it. Even if it hurt, she wanted to hear his voice.

Her chest ached unbearably. Her thoughts were a storm.

But hearing him, even just his breath, brought a thread of calm.

She was terrified that Aoki would leave Kessoku Band.

She knew he had the ability to take a different path—one far brighter than theirs.

But that fear… that was nothing more than her selfishness.

Her thoughts spiraled, conflicted and lost.

She didn’t know what to think, what to do, or how to face him.

So—

“This is enough. Please… don’t say anything. Just let me hear you breathe, Aoki-senpai…”

Her hand pressed the phone tighter to her ear, and her chest grew tight, bittersweet.

…

Aoki’s voice caught in his throat.

He didn’t fully understand her feelings, but he could guess why she had reached this breaking point.

If he hadn’t hidden things from her.

If he’d paid more attention.

He thought of Seika’s words—both that day, and tonight.

‘Nijika… she mentioned you to me recently.’

He should have known. He should have seen it sooner.

But instead, he had avoided it. Ignored it. Pretended nothing had changed.

He didn’t know how to deal with these feelings, so he ran away.

But was that really fair to Nijika?

Aoki inhaled slowly, held it, then whispered—so soft it barely carried through the line:

“…I’m sorry.”

…

Her breath caught.

That single phrase pierced Nijika’s heart like a bullet.

Her eyes stung, tears spilling down her cheeks.

It was always like this.

Always.

Too gentle. Too forgiving.

Always taking on the blame.

But he didn’t need to apologize.

It wasn’t his fault.

It was hers—for being confused, for never even saying why she was hurt.

He shouldn’t have to bear that weight.

“…U-uh…”

Nijika bit down on a sob, desperately trying to swallow the sound.

She wanted to cry her heart out. But more than that, she didn’t want him to worry.

“N-no…”

Her voice shook, breaking.

“It’s not your fault, Aoki-senpai… You shouldn’t be apologizing.”

Her words faltered, but she pushed herself on.

“I—I’m fine. Really.”

She forced her voice upward, light, bright—like everything was normal.

“So you don’t have to worry!”

Because that was how Nijika always was.

If she couldn’t smile naturally, then she would smile anyway.

No matter what.

Because she could never, ever allow herself… to be a burden.