Invasion of the Giant Goth Step Sister 2: pages 1-7
Added 2025-04-08 20:20:24 +0000 UTCit's finally coming! the long awaited sequel to what is, in my opinion, the best story i've written. took me awhile to think of a decent premise but now i think i've got it. let me know what you guys think... please? so few actually comment on these despite my desire for feedback. XD help me out with this one guys i'm really curious to hear some opinions
Comments
huh i hadn't even considered i was doing that. okay great. i'll read it over and see if it can flow better another way. thanks
Drebi
2025-04-09 01:48:25 +0000 UTCI gave it a read and so far it's been a very good read. I liked the foreshadowing of Monica getting dommy with him in the future. I also liked that Monica got the first butt crush scene of the story since she didn't get any squash scenes in the first one. The only thing that seemed out of place was when you wrote roughly a paragraph that broke the forth wall. I've seen you successfully pull off breaking the forth wall in the past, but this time I think you could have added those details into the story better by showing rather than telling.
P
2025-04-08 21:48:32 +0000 UTC
