Burn Bright and Flicker Out Update
Added 2022-04-16 07:57:28 +0000 UTCHey Folks,
Just wanted to mention I tacked on a post script to the end of chapter 6 of burn bright and flicker out. You can find it now added on in the last post I made (the one that includes chapter 5 and 6). In addition, I added a bit more dialogue between Lucene and Izelle in Chapter 6 to make this feel a bit less like Izelle is just completely snuffing out Lucene's personality / desires and more giving her what is "for her own good" so to speak. Thanks to everyone who gave helpful feedback on those chapters.
Comments
Hello, I just subscribed to your patreon yesterday and I for sure missed the discussion that happened on the story. It's very good overall and I subscribed to read the read the full thing in its entirety and was not disappointed. If I could ever one piece of feedback though, I think perhaps it would read less like a "bad ending" where Lucene's personality is snuffed out if you wrote more about what happened with Izelle? IE what made her the ideal candidate to become a champion and why Lucene wasn't outside of Izelle wanting her as a bed girl. At the moment the story reads that their fate as a champion and bed girl was more or less exclusively determined by Izelle being kidnapped first. I hope this feedback makes sense. This was a really good story and I'm excited to read through the rest of your work :)
Lavender Fields
2022-04-18 00:40:37 +0000 UTC
