82 - Private Discussion with the Eldritch Lord

Lexie’s first instinct was to run. 

Her hand fumbled with the door handle behind her, heart pounding out of her chest. Her knees shook and her breath ratcheted in her throat. She didn’t even have the wherewithal to scream. The fear that flooded her was so intense that it literally stole her breath. And maybe a little of her will to live. 

Her dad wasn’t home.

In the back of her mind, Lexie knew it. Aiden was staying late in school today and no one else was home to help her. Was that why Eldritch came? To kill her for being an imposter? Was he going to eat her soul once he was done, or send it to the demon world for other demons to feast on? Should she kill herself first?

While she panicked, Naem simply stood there, observing her with a tray of cookies in hand.

The cookie tray was what distracted Lexie enough for the fear to recede partially. She frowned, and thought, Why does he have that? She also realized that Naem wasn't attacking her yet, so maybe he wasn’t here to kill her necessarily.  What was he doing here then? Why was he holding a cookie tray?

“W..what are you doing here?” she stammered. “My dad isn’t home, and you can’t be here if he's not here." Speaking of which, how did Naem get in? Max’s new security system was supposed to keep out everyone who wasn't Aiden, Lexie, or Max. And Max had amended it to work on other creatures including undead Ghouls too. Were the Eldritch different? Powerful enough to break into people’s homes? Or had Aiden permitted him?

While her thoughts bounced, the Eldritch lord remained still. 

“You’re smaller than I remember,” he said finally, his voice strange and whispery. “Did you shrink?”

Lexie frowned at him. “No?” 

“Ah. Are all human [untranslatable] as small as you?”

The word he used was pure Eldritch and her system didn’t give her a meaning for it, which meant the word didn’t have an English equivalent. But Lexie assumed it meant something close to ‘teenager’.  

“I’m in the 35th percentile,” she told him. “I’m small but almost average height.”

“I see," he said. “I’m small for a Demon Lord too.”

“You are?” She was surprised. He seemed pretty tall in her eyes. Or at least, his human disguise seemed that way. 

“Yes,” he responded and Lexie didn’t know if he looked forlorn or if that was just the natural state of his human mask. Then again, his expression hadn’t changed much and she was simply guessing his mood from the different intonations in his hissing voice. “Before, the other Lords would sometimes refer to me as [untranslatable] at our meetings. They tried to make my size a mark against me, in my journey to become a Lord. That was until I [untranslatable vulgar] into their [untranslatable] and I threatened to [untranslatable obscene] with whatever was left.” He paused. “Since then, my size is no longer a disqualifying factor.” 

“Right.” Lexie only understood part of what he’d said but she got the message of it. But more importantly, she was wondering why he was telling her this story. Was he trying to get her to feel better about her size? Or was he just conversing?

His next statement gave her an answer.

“Now that we’ve commiserated and found common ground," he said, "Are you going to stop trying to phase yourself through the door? You don’t appear very good at it.”

Lexie still hadn’t managed to get the door open with all her fumbling. She probably could now that she was a bit calmer, but she didn’t leave. She still felt the urge to run, but she tempered it in order to get to the bottom of his presence here. 

Besides, why should she have to leave? It was her house. He was the interloper here.

“You’re looking for my dad aren’t you?” she asked. 

“Not necessarily,” he said and then looked down at the tray he still held. “I’m looking for your father’s welcoming treats. But these don’t taste as good as the ones he gave me the last time I was here.”

Lexie peered at them. “That’s because those are stale. And I’m pretty sure he threw them out last night.” In fact, Lexie had a distinct memory of her father doing just that. “Did you…fish it out of the trash?”

He nodded and then stopped as though a realization hit him. “Ah yes, I forgot you humans do not recycle.”

“Yeah, we do,” Lexie said a tad defensively.

He gave another sad look to the cookies. “Not well.”

Lexie wanted to ask how the Eldritch recycled but she wavered. This was a little bizarre. How was she standing here having a conversation with the Lord of the freaking Eldritch? She should be screaming and running for her life. Or at least calling the proper authorities.

But he was her father’s friend and she didn’t want her dad to get in trouble because of him. 

Besides, with every second she spent here talking to him, her fear reduced a little. Not by much. She was still terrified he was going to snatch her soul out of his body and feed it to his three-headed dog in hell, but at least she was calm enough to say, “I think we have more cookies in the fridge.”

His human mask didn’t change but she could have sworn she saw the dark swirling depths of his eyes light up. She only looked for a second though. “You do?”

“Yes, but in return you’ll let me keep my soul.”

He cocked his head. “What would I need your soul for?”

“I don’t know." She shrugged. "As maybe...experiments, or sacrifice?”

“Humans make terrible sacrifices. They're weak, don't know what they're doing half the time, and can't follow simple instructions. And human [untranslatables] are worse for experimentation. Why would I do that when I can use an Eldritch? They can do what a human can and more. We are so much better at understanding you than you are at understanding us.” 

Oh. Well, that was a relief. And a little embarrassing.

"You're not lying?" Lexie asked.

“Eldritch don't lie. Your soul is of no use to me,” he continued. “The cookies, however, are.” 

Lexie swallowed and hoped she wasn’t making a mistake. She scurried around him into the kitchen, keeping him in her visual field as she moved past. She felt his presence behind her when she opened up the fridge, and she turned around several times only to find that he hadn’t moved and was still in the living room, staring at him with that creepy human mask-like face. She quickly took the cookies out of the freezer and popped them into a toaster oven to get them nice and warm. She held his gaze while the clock counted down, forcing herself to breathe through the choking fear that ebbed and flowed in waves.

She tried to look on the bright side.  

After all, this was a rare opportunity that had presented itself to her, to talk to the Eldritch Lord alone. She could finally figure out what he knew.

“When you said my soul looked different,” she ventured. “What did you mean?”

He cocked his head and didn’t say anything for a few heart-pounding seconds during which Lexie wondered if she’d said the wrong thing, or maybe she’d committed some demon nobility faux pas. 

But instead, he gave a huff and said, “I thought you humans find it rude when I talk about your souls.”

“I mean,” Lexue shrugged, “Kinda but now that you mentioned I would like to know what you see.”

“Your soul was one way before. And now it is another.” Lexie felt like there was a ‘duh’ implied at the end like he’d just told her something that should have been obvious to her. 

“So? What does that mean about me?”

His strange eyes blinked once. Slowly. “Am I supposed to provide an answer for that?”

“Can you?”

“Of course. I can provide numerous reasons why a human [untranslatable] soul looks different. It would range from emotional changes to physical changes to full soul transformation. I can give you examples spanning centuries and provide you with a precise likely cause of your soul change. But I will not do that. It’s a lot of work and you would need an entire mountain of cookies to compensate for my time.”

Lexue didn’t know why but that last statement made her snort. Maybe out of relief, because here she had been panicking over the fact that he could apparently see her soul and she’d thought that it meant he knew she wasn’t the real Lexie Sparrowfoot. But he just confirmed what Aiden said, that there were multiple reasons a soul can change. So her secret was safe for now at least. 

A huge wave of relief hit her like, knocking the load off her shoulders. 

The timer of the oven dinged and she put mittens on to bring the cookies out.  

She fished out the plate of cookies plopping them on a tray and went back into the living room. 

When the Lord of the Eldritch reached for one, she held it away from him and shook her head firmly. 

“Not yet,” she said. “You need to let them cool down or else you’ll burn your tongue.”

Naem continued to stare at her. It was only after she set the tray down that she acknowledged the ridiculousness of what she just said. He was an Eldritch being. Did they even have tongues? Did this current…form he was using…could it feel pain? And even if it could, he was a creature of hell so they probably had much hotter cookies than this. 

But Naem for some reason did wait. And so did Lexie. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was waiting for except she didn’t feel like she should just leave him there. He was a currently uninvited guest in her father’s home and she needed to keep him within her line of sight so she could ensure that he wasn’t doing anything shady. Not that she could stop him if he was. Her presence was probably not much of a deterrent, but she stayed anyway.

At the same time, she didn't feel she could just kick him out either when she’d just offered him cookies. So they both just stood there, watching each other until the cookies had finally cooled down enough for him to take one. 

Lexie watched him as he slowly chewed. 

“These are also not as good as the ones he gave me that first night,” he said. 

“That’s because they’re not fresh," Lexie pointed out.

“Hence why you humans need a better recycling system. In my world, there is no trash because nothing goes to waste. And  everything we use can be eventually restored to its original ‘freshness’.”

“That sounds cool actually.”

“It is." He nodded once and continued chewing. It got a little awkward again and rather than being afraid, Lexie decided to take the opportunity to assuage her curiosity. 

“My father said you were the one who helped him craft his first card. The <Out of Sight, Out of Mind> card.”

“You mean the [Dance for the Hidden Soul]?”

“I have no idea, but I’m assuming yes?” Lexie hesitated before she asked, “How did you do it? I’ve been trying to make a card for weeks now and it just never comes together how I want it. Dad said he made his very first card when he was only a year older than me.”

“Are you in some sort of competition with him?”

“No,” she said at first but the dark steadiness of his gaze seemed to drag the honesty out of her. “I guess. Something like that. Or maybe it’s me and it’s just in my head. But I feel like I should do more.” She sighed deeply and let herself lean back against the wall as she admitted. “I’ve been having problems creating cards. All the ones I’ve tried to create have been glitchy because I don't create them using intent. I created it just by mimicking aspects of other cards and then changing one aspect slightly.”

He didn’t say anything just kept munching on the cookies. So Lexie kept talking,

“My dad says I need to understand intent before I can truly create a card. But the problem is that I don’t get intent right now. I’m supposed to 'perceive' it but I’m not sure what that even means. Meditation? I do that and it still doesn't help most of the time. I study Fae culture, read their history books…”

The creature made a sound that could have been a snort. 

When Lexie glanced at him, he said, “The Fae know nothing about perception and that is why they will continue to deceive and confuse humans for eternity.”

Lexie blinked and he sat down, his body moving stiffly like a robot being controlled by a hive mind.

Then his mouth moved and he said, “Sit.”

There was a command in his tone that almost had Lexie jerking instantly to obey. The fear was back once more and Lexie thought that he might have been suppressing the effect somehow, in a way she didn’t understand. She swallowed and thought about what to do next, whether to run or stay. But if he wanted to harm her he would have done so already and technically she’d invited conversation by asking him a question. 

So she indeed went to the couch and sat down opposite him. 

“Intent has nothing to do with the Fae. It’s a law that governs magic in every part of the universe. The Fae are just best at translating it for their uses, but they don’t understand human intent as well as they pretend to.”

“They don’t?”

“No. They don’t understand themselves as well as they want to either, but that is a different story. What are you feeling right now?” 

“Afraid,” Lexie said instantly because it was true. Now that he was no longer suppressing his pheromones, her fear was once more running amok.

“Good. Now what would you do to stop that fear from happening?”

Lexie knew she was probably supposed to say something like, 'control my feelings better', or 'have more confidence in my abilities', or 'trust that you won’t hurt me and stop being racist against the Eldritch'.

But for some reason, the first word that popped out of her mouth was, “Kill you.”

She was shocked by her own audacity and immediately scrambled to fix it. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.”

“No, you did," he said calmly, not looking bothered at all. “That was your honest, gut reaction, your instinct from what you perceived as a threat. That’s good. Hold on to that instinct and be honest with yourself. Because the Fae have lost track of what that even is.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Seelie work by rules, because they feel like the world should work by rules, not understanding that we are not rules. All we are is pure instinct, and feeling, and fear. We are living nightmares in the flesh and no amount of eschewing negative emotion is going to change that.”

Lexie frowned. She didn’t understand what he was saying but he shook his head and moved on like he didn't expect her to.

“How would you do it?” he asked suddenly. “Kill me, that is.”

“Excuse me?”

“The magic is in the story. Begin the story from the beginning of the fear. You walked in and you immediately saw an Eldritch Lord in your home. You are afraid. You want to kill the Eldritch Lord. Where do you go from there? How would you kill me?”

“Um…” she thought about it. What was an Eldritch weakness? She assumed something that countered nightmares. Good dreams? Or a Saintess’ magic? Was there a way to create that? 

“You will lose it if you think too hard,” he said. “It’s better to know than to think. Only consider things within the confines of the story I have just told you.” 

Great, another thing she was bad at. Not thinking. She sighed. “See you say that like I’m supposed to know what the heck you’re talking about.”

“Know who your target is. Internally, and externally. Know where the story leads and what you want from it. Then, tell the story. The ‘intent’ will generate from that.”

That excited her. She knew what that meant. “So I have to do research.”

He shook his head. “That is too much thinking.”

Now he's lost me again. 

“You are perceiving right now,” he says. “With too much rationalizing, you will lose perception. Do not see things as they ought to be, see things as they are. Perceive honestly.” 

When Lexie still stared at him blankly, he added, “It’s a lot easier to perceive with fear than it is to perceive with any other emotion. Because fear is one of the few things that keeps us honest.” He stood and then drifted to the door. “I leave now.”

“Wait!"

He paused. Lexie searched for what to say.

"Can’t you just disappear?” She’d seen him do it last time.

“I could but your father told me not to do that in front of you anymore.” 

"No, it's fine, I just...I don't want people to see you leaving."

He thought about it and said, "Alright then."

A swirling black hole appeared behind him.

And then just like that, Lexie finally got it. It hit her almost like a lightbulb like a thought without a string that showed the origin. It wasn’t quite intuition, but it was close. Somewhere between intuition and reasoning. 

It was like seeing with an eye you weren’t aware you had, touching a sentient floating thought with a phantom limb that appeared out of nowhere. It was like she was translating through a second brain, a whole other sense opening up in front of her. And then it all summarized into a flash of something, some instinct that informed what she was going to say:

“Lord Naem.”

His name seemed to whisper around them as he turned around. 

“If I wanted to kill you,” she said. “I would poison your cookies.” 

His face did not have any expression, but Lexie got the sense that he was smiling as he drifted away.