The Psychology of Lying (2021 Rerun)
Added 2026-01-06 12:00:07 +0000 UTC
Comments
The school district issue is taxpayer-related. If a family fudges their district, residents of District A are now paying for student who lives in District B to go to school in District A. I’m not saying it’s right but that’s why it’s taken so seriously!
Sierra
2026-01-12 03:08:44 +0000 UTCI am fascinated by lying. I do think there should be a different term for “white lies”. I know that well intentioned lies can end up causing problems for people but “I’m fine, how about you?” Or bending of opinions like “you look great” can have moral cost/benefit balances that are way more significant than whatever technical wrong a “lie” might be. Kind of like people who describe themselves as blunt. But is it lying to keep your meanest thoughts to yourself? It’s a whole different conversation when it comes to self-interested intentional lying that a person feels they can and should get away with — from murderers to romance scammers on down to petty shoplifters. I do wonder about the studies cited in the documentary though. If you’re in a controlled environment with an “actor” “lying” to you, it’s never going to be the same as the emotional stakes that can be there between two people. Interrogator and perp, even parent and child. Even between friends. I think the “body language” signals you often say are unscientific are more like tools for narrowing down what you’re looking for. It’s not meant to be scientific and to be good at it, you need to use it in a completely flexible manner as to what things mean for each individual subject. You start with the “most people” tells and work trial and error from there. It’s useful for poker players and interrogators but very wrong for court, say. In other words I think a good interrogator uses the tools to get to the real story but doesn’t use those tools to prove anything, only to inform where they go with their questioning. Just because the broad strokes of it are unscientific doesn’t mean it’s not useful for folks who have to cope with liars in their lives. It’s not science or proof of anything, it’s more “method” that when applied correctly can help with the knots that liars have amassed. I don’t know if that makes sense. I think it’s very hard to deal with Liars when you’re one of those painfully honest people. Think about it. The kind of person who lies is big ways can often be “super honest” when it comes to social niceties or flattery. They usually pride themselves on their “bluntness”. On the other hand, people with scrupulous honesty in big things are much more likely to keep mean thoughts to themselves. Like “no, you don’t look fat in that outfit,” when actually they look just as fat as they always look. Or “I’ll be fine” when someone can’t help you as you’re trying to find someone who can. I guess I’ve just seen a lot of meanness being justified by the higher moral standard that being “truthful” in a given situation pretends to uphold.
Erika Wood
2026-01-06 16:59:35 +0000 UTC
