Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 6 - Stalking and Other Behaviors)
Added 2025-12-03 12:00:20 +0000 UTCDr Kirk Honda provides his long-awaited lecture on limerence. December 3, 2025
00:00 Refining qualifiers & the cycle
16:08 Was Kendra displaying limerence?
27:03 Stalking
53:25 Compulsive checking
1:07:48 Astrology & tarot
1:10:56 Rumination & reassurance seeking
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Comments
Creepy!
Olha Lylyk
2026-01-24 17:37:42 +0000 UTCThe anonymous reporters might not “admit” to the more aggressive parts but I think it’s because they don’t actually see it in themselves. It comes to the victim as aggression but the limerant person would feel it was passion or something like that. Even if they’re self aware that they may have this, I think there’s a lot of aggression before they are aware of it. To them their behavior is justified or at least understandable (they think)—outside their heads you can clearly see the ramp up. You know what I mean?
Erika Wood
2025-12-09 15:00:56 +0000 UTCSo... I have to say that after listening to this deep dive and writing my story under one of the parts, I had a dream about him again. And it was a dream about him wanting to be with me and telling me he loved me and kissing me. So... Yeah, it can trigger some residual patterns just to listen to the deep dive about limerence. The feelings in the dream were very strong and when I woke up I felt a strong wave of feelings towards the man I used to love (because to call him just a limerent object seems too technical). It can indeed be confusing when you feel the strong feelings after just having a dream. Sometimes after you see them from afar. Actually in Czechia we have a word for this limerence I only recently found out about (from you, because I am too old for tik tok and can't bear it :D): nešťastná láska. Unhappy love. Or unlucky love. I guess both translations can apply. People usually describe nešťastná láska as something that takes years, even decades. The person usually likes someone they can't really be with. The whole thing around limerence feels like psychologists who never experienced such a thing found out about the long term suffering from unhappy love that many of us have been through and try to describe it... And they are doing a good job but don't know if the technical description, e. d. What it does, how the people feel, what they do, the obsession part, the never ending “being in love” state, the checking what they do and if they like you, what are the causes .., like if it actually helps to look at it this way. I guess it can help in a way. But the cause for limerence is deeper and sometimes you just bump into a person who turns it on in you. And we can try to find the cause but sometimes it just is quite weirdly magical (and scary) that someone makes us feel that way by just existing. And we get hooked to the person like to a drug. And because we love them we feel they are not going to be with us, like ever, or not in the way we wish them to be – and we give them that space. From fear of being pushed away? From fear of not being able to at least look from afar? I don't know. After all these years, I think I know who he is, more than many other people from his life. We talked a lot about many things and he told me I know stuff he didn't even tell his sister (who is very close to him). So I know him. His bad sides as well. And still if I see him there is this rapid boom of light in my heart. And pain, humming low in the shadow of my soul... Sorry if I write too much. Something about all this opened stuff in my mind and heart about this quite old situation and I think .. where else to share it.
K.
2025-12-06 21:13:15 +0000 UTCI love this series! I haven't really engaged with the Patreon community before and mostly commented on Youtube, but it's so exciting to read other comments here. And it's so cool to see other patreons discussing because I usually just hear about them from Dr H's email responses! I can feel that many of us are excited about this series!
moo
2025-12-05 03:24:21 +0000 UTC
