Butler Syndrome (2021 Rerun)
Added 2024-07-14 11:00:03 +0000 UTC[Rerun] Dr. Kirk and Bob discuss some butler syndrome and other deep topics.
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December 10, 2021
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Comments
Wow. Thank you Bob for being vulnerable. Such an inspiring example. I wish to have the guts to do that one day.
Kadita
2024-12-04 15:25:18 +0000 UTCI came to check if you replied. Thank you! Yes, it's hard for the people who love me and would like to be an asset for my wellbeing, but it's very hard for me to accept as l don't feel deserving. I have made progress though. Today l let my spouse prepare my lunch for work for tomorrow. Small steps and a long way to for example accepting being comforted, when I'm feeling broken and ashamed for it. I'm in therapy, just so you know. My therapist has been helping me to understand, that not all things have to be reciprocal as l often decline in fear that l can't give back as much and feel useless for my partner.
Helen
2024-07-24 18:53:20 +0000 UTCPoker, hmmm. I used to like it, but I didn't like the way it felt when I played it a lot - too competitive, too much attachment to winning. Yuck. Now I can play it occasionally without getting wrapped up in that nonsense, but I would never want to go back to it being a regular thing. You wrote, "How much do you do stuff thinking this is what other people want?" That is an astute way to put it. Since I often do not know what people want, I am vulnerable to making presumptions about them and treating my presumptions like they must be the truth. I do that, yes, and at the same time I am also flexible and willing to go along with things, and it can be hard for me to tell the difference. Regarding knowing my own wants - this is often murky territory for me, and even if I know what I want it often evokes fear and/or shame, and that unfortunately makes it difficult for my partner (and at times my best friend) who does not get the benefit of knowing what i want, and is impacted by my frustrations when I don't get my wants met. Hard as it is, scary as it is, I do have a responsibility to keep at it. I hope you keep at it too. It is likely that people in your world would like you to be satisfied.
Bob Goettle
2024-07-17 00:48:12 +0000 UTCYou're welcome!
Bob Goettle
2024-07-16 17:15:31 +0000 UTCBob, so do you or do you not like to play poker? At this point did you want to like it for your friendship? 'Cause if l remember correctly, since that, you've said you don't enjoy it that much and would rather play something with a common goal. How much do you do stuff thinking this is what other people want and somehow what you want too? I relate to you strongly on this topic (some others too). I often don't know what l want, 'cause the want to not disappoint is so strong.
Helen
2024-07-15 20:05:13 +0000 UTCThank you, Bob and Kirk. I relate so much with you, Bob.
Stormie Fuller
2024-07-14 14:15:17 +0000 UTC
