Borderline Abuse (Chapters 10-12)
Added 2024-04-26 11:00:02 +0000 UTCDr Kirk Honda discusses borderline personality and partner abuse while reacting to the reality TV show, Love Is Blind.
00:00 Chapter 10 - Apologies
23:45 Chapter 11 - Desperate love
51:06 Chapter 12 - Hard lines & justifications
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April 26, 2024
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Comments
Thank you so much for this series Dr. Honda. I was in a similar relationship but didn't recognize this type of behavior as abuse, even though my relationship was even worse than what was shown in Love is Blind. You have given me so much mental clarity and restored confidence in myself. Thank you.
E H
2025-10-27 05:01:14 +0000 UTCNever watched the show. Just listened. But so educational, none the less. And relatable, even if I have never experienced it to this kind of extreme. These are indeed suffering humans in need of help and compassion.
Lars Dorland
2024-11-08 19:42:39 +0000 UTCI found this whole series of discussions about BPD based on "Love Is Blind" so helpful! I grew up in an alcoholic family. Also since both parents worked, they hired caretakers who needed constant replacement. This was a source of constant insecurity to me--what do I have to do to make sure I can get loved? And yet I am never certain--and can never be certain. Isn't that Chelsea's problem? I think I feel the same anguish--but in my case instead of blaming my partner, I BLAME MYSELF. I'm constantly getting triggered by minor things--and then getting furious at myself for making a mountain out of a molehill. I have very little insight. I just insist that I shouldn't get upset. I kept hearing Dr. Honda say he doesn't blame Chelsea--she can't help herself. Ha! I've had CBT. I use it to control myself so that I can never solve relationship problems. I just insist that I should never complain about anything because true love means you never feel offended (black and white thinking). Yes, I realize that it's important to bring up problems as they occur so that they can be worked through. But what if EVERYTHING is a problem? I've hid my feelings from my therapist because I think I will offend him. I'm going to try to share--based on the way Kirk modeled a reformed Chelsea sharing her paranoid feelings.
Diana Cook
2024-05-01 04:17:26 +0000 UTCI have a hard time thinking Chelsea is gaslighting when she believes what she is saying is true. When she says "You don't love me" she pretty obviously (to me) means "I don't feel loved and need validation." With therapy and recovery, I think Chelsea can learn to say "I know you love me and I still need validation" and have more corrective experiences. Jimmy panicking and flipping out on her when she's hurt doesn't help. It doesn't seem like they were a good match in that way. They both seemed insecurely attached underneath everything.
Jocelyn G
2024-04-30 17:17:30 +0000 UTCThis was extremely helpfull. I learned a lot! Thanks Kirk!
Laurence Provost
2024-04-29 02:10:06 +0000 UTCHa! (Get back to Fairbairn! He's rad.)
Psychology In Seattle
2024-04-26 22:53:15 +0000 UTCYeah! Once again reading about Fairbairnian object relations here in the library in Oxford, UK. Friday afternoon so I’m ditching the library to listen to this podcast instead. Thanks for an early start to the weekend
Vaughan Dutton
2024-04-26 11:36:00 +0000 UTC
