All My Pets Are Dragons (New Novel Idea)

Hey guys. can you please tell me what you think about this novel and your opinion?

1. A NEET has to be shameless!

“Bret! Bret! Are you serious?” A women’s loud voice sounded from within a house in one of the low income neighborhoods in Oakland.

“First you quit college spouting some nonsense and now all you do is play video games all day long! The least you can do is tidy up your room. Bret! Where the hell are you?”

As the poor woman continued lamenting, a skinny young man tip-toed and sneaked out of the house, jumping down from the bedroom window.

He hopped onto the rusty bike that was leaning on the fence. It didn’t have any lock on it, not that it needed one as no one would probably ever steal it.

Checking back one more time to see if his mother was close enough to physically harm him, Bret Williams pushed down on the pedals and sped away on the rickety bicycle as fast as he could.

He only dared to slow down and take a breather three streets down his house. “Phew! That was close. Is it my imagination or is she getting scarier with each day?”

He sighed in relief and his charming albeit unkempt face had a big grin plastered on it as he continued riding his bike, now more leisurely.

A few more streets passed him by and soon he was in the posh Berkeley area and he stopped his rickety cycle in front of a big ass bungalow that had the perfect unobstructed view.

Giant gates opened and Bret casually rode his rusty cycle inside. “Hey, old man! Good morning! Is Jack inside?”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Bret.” The security guard corrected him first without answering his question and gave him the usual half-eye roll. “The young master is inside.”

Bret chuckled and cycled all the way to the entrance, pretending he hadn’t seen the eye roll and then haphazardly let his rusty cycle lean against one of the pristinely clean pillars of the bungalow.

His slippers flip-flopped on the marble floor creating an unholy noise in the huge empty mansion and he whistled as he rushed up the stairs.

Pausing at the first floor of the building, he kicked the door of the first room to his right.

“What the hell, dude? Don’t you dare start without me!”

“He He He. I would have if you had shown up a couple of minutes later. Overslept as usual I assume?” Jack chuckled. He tossed something that seemed like a fancy helmet to the intruder.

Bret grinned as he caught the heavy item and looked at the skinny youth in front of him. The two of them had that in common while they were a bit different in most other things.

Jack had a clean-shaven and sharp face, his golden blonde hair neatly combed back.

His appearance was in stark contrast to the man who had a scruffy beard and inky black hair that should have clearly been cut a few weeks ago.

“Woah!! Is this it?” He asked, while closely inspecting the helmet, which looked extremely high-tech, like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.

“God damn. So hot! I need to check this bitch out!”

Jack nodded. “I am ready when you are.”

He placed on his head another helmet similar to the one he had thrown over to Bret, who quickly tossed his tracksuit hoodie with probably a million tiny holes in it and comfortably settled on the bean bag chair opposite to the couch Jack was sitting on.

He as well then placed his helmet on his head.

The metallic helmet covered the entire head as if it was another layer wrapped around the skull.

“Should we close our eyes for better…” Bret was about to say something when a loud beep sounded and the next instant, he slumped back as if he had fainted or become unconscious.

Jack was also in a similar state, his body falling on the side onto the couch with a thud.

….

….

….

“What the hell?” Bret muttered dazedly as he found himself floating in nothingness or more accurately his conscious was floating in nothingness.

Everything was black around him and he couldn’t touch or see or feel anything.

“Eh? This 100% immersion is a bit too much.” He sighed and waited without having anything else to do. Every game had a loading time after all.

A few more seconds passed in silence when suddenly the darkness in front of him started fading and a sweet melodious voice rang in his mind.

[Please state your name]

“Hmmm? Name? What name should I give?” Bret mulled over it as if it was the most important decision in his life. “This is a cultivation game, I need to pick something super cool.”

“Let me see… Heaven Breaker… Soaring Cloud… Piercing Heaven… Supreme Monarch… War God… Mad Monarch… All of these are amazing.”

“Hmm… let’s go with Mad Monarch. He He He. This should make people think twice before messing with me.”

“Confirm the name Mad Monarch. Next should be customizing appearance right? Give me a six-pack with...”

Interrupting Bret midway, the fairy-like voice once again sounded.

[Daoist Mad Monarch, welcome to the land of Soul Cultivation]

Huh? Before he could understand what was going on, Bret suddenly found himself sitting on the ground. The darkness had completely cleared and he could now see.

He was somewhere in the middle of a market maybe?

“Hmmm?” Bret slowly looked up and down at himself and his lips twitched.

He was now able to see his full body, but unfortunately, his full body was the same scrawny body of his from the real world.

He touched his face and it only took him 2 seconds to realize that his mug was also the same one from the real world.

“Ha… Alright. Never mind. My real body might be lacking but my face is still not too bad. I can make do with this.” Grinning shamelessly, Bret stood up and dusted his back.

He looked around at the crowd and most of the people around him were dressed similar to him in a simple linen shirt and khaki pants.

“This should be the player crowd. Let me check my stats first.”

“Status screen?”

A blue translucent screen immediately flashed in front of him.

______________

Name: Mad Monarch

Cultivation: NA

Bloodline: Ordinary

Physique: Ordinary

Spirit: Ordinary

Legacy: None

Talent: None

______________

Qi: 0

Physical Strength: 20

Mental Strength: 30

Soul Strength: 20

Physical Defense: 20

Mental Defense: 0

Soul Defense: 0

______________

“Hmm… There seems to be a lot of nonavailable and ordinary stats??” He cocked his eyebrow in puzzlement but then shook it off. “Game is just now starting. This is probably some common beginner stats.”

“I guess I will now go look for some NPCs and start questing?” He leisurely took in the medieval scenery around him and started wandering about.

Soul Cultivation was a brand new cultivation game that had only been recently introduced but the hype created for it was nothing short of startling.

And today was the first day of the game’s official opening. It has in fact been only one hour since the players were able to enter the game.

So there wasn’t any sort of online guides or rulebooks up yet.

Though this could be overwhelming, this was also good because the early players always had a better experience discovering everything for themselves, rather than reading about things from someone else’s adventures.

Moreover, this game is the first one rumored to have in-game currency and real-life currency exchange options.

This alone was enough to tempt a big chunk of the world population and on the first day of the game itself, every starting area became heavily crowded.

This was why Bret wanted to first look for some quests before checking out other details. There was also a blinking tutorial button that he ignored for now.

Otherwise, by the time he glossed over everything, there would only be lengthy queues near the main NPCs.

Every game’s beginning was chaotic and this was not his first rodeo, so Bret went along with his instincts.

He saw a blacksmith’s shop nearby and approached it. The shopkeeper was an old man and he was leisurely sipping something.

“Greetings, fellow daoist. How are you doing this fine morning?” Since he was not busy, Bret quickly approached him to spark up a conversation.

Hmmm… The old man’s gaze flickered towards Bret for an instant and then returned back to stare at the wall in front of him as if he hadn’t seen or heard anyone.

This is weird. Bret rubbed his chin but did not give up just yet. “Brother, is the shop perhaps in some sort of trouble? Do you need 10 stacks of iron ore or copper ore?”

“Heh.” The old man finally responded. His lips curled into a sneer and he gazed at Bret with an undisguised look of disgust.

“Someone like you is volunteering to help me huh? Get lost brat. I am not in the mood to entertain idiots today. I might just end up killing you.”

“What the hell? Why is this NPC dunce so rude?” Bret was about to retort something back when a frighteningly scary aura seeped out of the old man.

His lips started trembling and his body started shaking. An inexplicable fear struck his heart and he subconsciously started stepping back out of the shop.

But just as his leg crossed that threshold, the oppressing aura completely disappeared. He felt as if he was released from some sort of prison and he could once again breathe and move freely.

“What the fuck just happened?” Bret was utterly dumbfounded. He looked at himself and his entire body was drenched in sweat, his linen cloth uncomfortably sticking to his body.

Anyone else would have been scared out of their wits from such a frightening encounter, wondering if they had inadvertently offended some sort of big shot, but Bret on the other hand had a big grin plastered on his face.

“Damn! Did I just discover some sort of super secret hidden NPC??” He chuckled inwardly in excitement.

“Alright. Alright. I should act as nothing happened and keep this in wraps. I will visit this shop again when I am stronger and snatch this hidden quest for myself. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!”

With his hands crossed behind his back, and his head held high, Bret quickly walked over to the next shop. Obviously, there weren’t going to be several powerful experts hiding as shop vendors in the same newbie market street.

So he casually walked over to this one and asked. “Greetings daoist, how are you doing this fine morning?”

10 seconds later…

Bang! Bret fell back onto the street, landing on his scrawny behind. “What the fuck? Are all NPCs in this game programmed to be assholes?”

He sighed and shook his head before getting up and coincidentally another group of players walked into the same store.

“Hey,” Bret called them, thinking that he would warn the players about the weird NPCs but he was still disgruntled from his personal misery.

So he changed his mind and silently waved his hand at them without saying anything. He decided that it would be far more entertaining to see the others also being thrown out on their asses.

Plastering a smug smile on his face, he leaned over one of the pillars at the entrance and watched the scene silently.

2. Why do you sound like my mother?

The four players introduced themselves to the shopkeeper, another old man, also dressed in a similar austere robe. This one was looked like a medicinal shop and had a lot of pill bottles and such.

Bret chuckled inwardly and waited. In the meantime, he tried to see if there was a call button to contact Jack.

It was not necessary that everyone from the same location had to spawn nearby so he wondered which part of the game world was his friend currently in.

“Huh? There is no call function?”

While Bret fiddled with things on his status screen, no loud bangs or thuds sounded and the group of four still continued to chat harmoniously with the shopkeeper.

He looked up and blinked at this shocking scene.

“Wait a second…”

“This…”

“Fuck me!”

The four players walked out and Bret quickly asked them. “Dudes, that guy didn’t kick you out?”

Three of the four ignored him, but the short guy on the back answered. “Huh? Why will he kick us out? Oh! You should first join a sect and then do the quests.”

“Ah! I see. I see.” Bret nodded. He watched their backs as the four of them walked away and suddenly felt a chill creep on his back.

So he turned around, only to find the old man once again glaring at him. “Alright. Alright. I am leaving. Sheesh!”

Bret walked around the market square with the various shops and he could see the unusual numbers of players gathered, crowding at the center around a huge thick banyan tree.

“Let me check it out. I guess I can also look at the tutorial now.” He shrugged and walked over to the bustling crowd.

In the middle of the crowd, there was another old man.

“Heh. Every single NPC in this game is an old fart?” Bret chuckled at his own comment and then stood at the back of the crowd, trying to peer in.

This old man had long flowing white hair and there was an aura of nobility about him, which made him stand out even in this crowd.

Bret looked at the man from top to bottom and when his eyes reached the bottom, he saw that the old guy was in fact floating!

His eyes immediately widened in surprise. “Heh. I wonder when I can fly.”

Since the game was ultra realistic, everyone particularly looked forward to this aspect.

Almost everyone including Bret was staring at the geezer with a twinkle in their eyes as if he was a young eighteen year old busty beauty.

“Ahem. Listen up brats. This recruitment event is only going to last for 2 hours. Form a line and one by one move forward to fill up the evaluation form.”

The crowd immediately moved and started squeezing together to form a neat line. Looking at the unusually bigger crowd, the elder decided to add a few words.

“Our Profound Sect is an ancient and glorious sect. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, as long as you are talented, our sect will welcome you with open arms.”

“But you need to be talented. Our minimum requirement is earth grade. So don’t aimlessly stand here and waste both of our time.”

“If you don’t have at least an earth grade physique or bloodline or spirit, you can keep walking.”

“Those who have a special physique or a bloodline or a spirit, come out to the front of the queue. I can take a special look at your evaluation.”

The old man’s words instantly created a stir and everyone started busily discussing amongst themselves.

Bret, on the other hand, had an unsightly expression on his face. He checked his status again and again, but he didn’t seem to be having any of the things that the old man had mentioned.

“What the hell?” Just as he was wondering why he had drawn such a shitty straw, he heard a couple of players loudly discussing near him.

“Hey, this is not the only sect recruitment. My friend mentioned that the Phoenix Sect was better than this one.”

“Better? How?”

“There was a gorgeous beauty recruiting? It has to be better right?”

The two laughed together and Bret’s mood was also a little better. “That’s right. This shouldn’t be the only sect. Wait, sects are like guilds right?”

He walked out of the queue and flipped over the blinking tutorial option. He turned around to see that not many people had walked out and had an uneasy filling stir at the bottom of his heart.

“Everyone has an earth grade something or what? Nah. How could that be possible?”

He shook his head and looked at the tutorial, while simultaneously also walking towards the Phoenix Sect recruitment. After all, it was better to be recruited by a beauty than by a greying old fart.

[Soul Cultivation Tutorial]

[Congratulations on entering the world of Soul Cultivation]

[In this world, anything is possible as long as you desire it enough. You can move mountains, crush them, and flip them. You can cross oceans, fly towards heaven and even shatter the moral world. Only your desire and imagination are the limit.]

[.......

Bret quickly skipped over the next few lines of nonsense and his eyes fell on the more important details.

[Qi: Energy of the world. Qi can be gathered and assimilated in the body and soul using various cultivation methods. This is the basis for your strength.]

[Cultivation methods: Ancient unique methods to gather and harness the world’s energy, Qi. Higher grade cultivation methods are only passed down in a sect, which is a school, or an association or a clan of cultivators.]

[Physique: Body constitution of a cultivator. The different grades of physique are Ordinary, King, Emperor, Saint, Heaven, Divine, and Celestial]

Bret’s heart skipped a beat as he gazed at the word ordinary which was at the bottom rung of the ladder.

“Nah. There is no way. An awesome person like me couldn’t possibly have such bad luck right?”

He shook his head and since he already reached the other recruitment site, he flipped the tutorial window close.

The Phoenix sect recruitment was in front of a tall pagoda shaped building and just as the two players had been discussing, there was a tall beautiful woman standing there.

Bret instantly forgot his turmoil and ogled at the woman without any restraint. Not only him, but every player in the vicinity which was mostly men were all gawking at the same woman.

She was wearing a simple maroon robe with white lilies on the border and her figure was slender and voluptuous in the right places.

Her facial features as well were exquisite and she was oozing a mesmerizing charm from head to toe like a pure celestial maiden.

Just like the old man, she was also floating above the ground like a goddess. However, unlike the old man, no one dared to crowd around her.

Bret was busily looking at her perfect features that he failed to notice this important point. He didn’t even realize that he had walked quite close to her and now was very obviously staring at her.

Hmmm… The sect elder knitted her brows together. Her cherry red lips opened and Bret gulped. “Mortal, don’t you want to live?”

Huh? Bret snapped out of his trance and an overwhelming fear once again gripped his body. He felt as if he was being seen through, down to his very soul.

The woman’s hazel eyes simmered with a subdued tyrannical power and an aura of dominance overflowed from her. Bret wasn’t even able to look directly at her any longer.

He watched her lift her hand and point it at him as if she was about to curse him?

But suddenly, another middle aged man standing near her, whom Bret only just now noticed whispered something in her ears.

The woman loudly harrumphed and put her hand back down. “Useless trash. Absolutely worst talent and you still dare to come here and dawdle?”

The woman was furious and her chest was heaving up and down in anger.

But Bret on the other hand was rather calm. Since she had also retracted her killing intent, he was not under any oppressive pressure.

“You show your face here with this sort of garbage constitution? You are not even fit to stand in front of me? Good for nothing!”

The elder continued to chide him and Bret scratched his head. “Wow.” He muttered, his eyes filled with disbelief. He was seemingly very shocked.

Seeing his reaction, the sect elder was satisfied. “Hmph. Scram pest.”

“Wow. Uncanny. You sound just like my mother.” Bret muttered to himself and turned around to walk away absent-mindedly.

This was not the first time he was scolded by a woman and this would probably not be the last time. So he didn’t even put her words in his mind.

He dusted it off and casually walked away.

He no longer even paid attention to the woman behind him who was now red with anger. She was so furious that her beautiful eyes had widened.

In fact, the middle aged man standing next to her had to once again whisper something in her ear and calm her down.

However, her mood was bad for the rest of the day, and the other players who had queued up in front of her for the sect recruitment had to suffer the consequences.

For the next hour, not even one single person got admission into the Phoenix Sect and everyone silently cursed Bret for this misfortune.

The main culprit in question, though, was long gone. He was now loitering the streets of the city. A blue screen flashed in front of him and on it was something similar to a map.

“So I am right now in Qingyan city. Everything else around the city is blacked out. Guess I would have to go to these places in order to reveal more landscape?”

Bret took a look and then sighed loudly.

“So to get quests, I need to cultivate and improve my level or join a sect and have some sort of token, but to do either of these I need some sort of talent.”

“However, since I don’t have any talent and can’t cultivate, the only way I can play this game would be to kill beasts and monsters which once again is impossible with my low stats.”

“What the fuck?”

“What is with this bad luck?”

“Did I actually just get trolled by the game?”

3. First Quest

Bret was close to logging out of the game but he decided to aimlessly wander around the streets of the city for a bit. It was not like he had much else to do after logging out.

So while others were busily joining sects and beginning their cultivation journey by learning various things and absorbing Qi and achieving first breakthroughs, Bret loitered, covering the ins and outs of the city.

He came across different shops, different sect buildings, an auction house, an eatery, street vendors, black markets, fancy tea shops, herb gardens, a school, a library, and so on.

Of course, he was not allowed to enter anything because apparently, even entry to these places required some sort of a token.

Any other player would have gotten at least a little frustrated by now, but Bret was a very calm person by nature. Things seldom bothered him and this was the same.

Besides, he was certain that the game couldn’t possibly be so biased. There should be something or the other even for an ordinary person like him. He just needed to find it.

What Bret didn’t know was that most players had at least one attribute as higher than ordinary. In fact, it was extremely rare for a player to start with absolutely all stats ordinary.

Irrespectively, he continued aimlessly roaming for a couple more hours, when he suddenly stopped.

“Bingo! I knew it!” Bret’s eyes shone with determination. He had finally found a way into this game!

He stared at the building in front of which he had stopped. It was a beast hall and it had an advertisement or notice of sorts outside.

The words “Need helper for the stables” were written in bold letters and the part which particularly caught Bret’s eye was “No requirements”.

“Ah! I see this is it. I can work in the beast hall and tame some fierce beasts. I haven’t played as a beast tamer in many games. This should be interesting.”

Bret excitedly walked into the hall where he once again saw an old man sitting in front of a desk. At first, he was a little bitter about this but then he realized that old men were actually less scary than ice queens.

So he put a smile on his face and walked to the old man. “Greetings, elder. I am here for the helper job.” He clasped his hands in front of him and bowed as this was how he had seen other people act.

The old man gave him a stink eye just like the others but thankfully, he at least did not kick him out. He scrutinized him up and down and then coldly snorted. “Alright. You can start now.”

Bret was instantly overjoyed. He clasped his hands and bowed once again. “I am very grateful, elder.”

Inside his mind, he was already wondering what sort of dangerous beasts he was going to take care of. He would probably be feeding them regularly and they could even get attached to him.

When that happens, even taming a dangerous high-level beast should be easy. Fu Fu Fu. Bret chuckled and followed the elder as the two of them walked, one behind the other, into the huge beast hall.

He couldn’t really see any beasts as such as they were all well within the hall, hidden inside but there was no hurry. He would eventually see them one way or the other.

The two of them kept on walking and to Bret’s surprise, the elder didn’t look like he was going to stop any time soon.

In fact, they kept going all the way until they reached the other end of the beast hall on the opposite side.

“Hmm?” Bret’s expression changed as he noticed that they were now entirely outside of the beast hall. They were standing in the small backyard.

On a corner of this backyard was a small fenced space and inside this space was a bunch of thick squiggly worms.

They were very much bigger than normal worms, almost five or ten times their size like that of small kittens.

And moreover, seeing so many of them at the same time, even for a guy like Bret it was quite unsettling.

“Ha… but what am I doing with these?”

The elder stared back at him as if he was puzzled by his confusion. “What do you not understand, young man? These worms are nutritious fodder for the beasts.”

He paused and saw that Bret still looked confused, so he then added. “You are here to take care of these worms.”

“So I am here to take care of the worms that are fodder to the main beasts of the beast hall?” Bret repeated again in disbelief.

The elder sneered in response after having finally understood the young man’s puzzlement.

“Did you actually think that you were going to take care of the beasts in the beast hall? Ba ha ha ha! Ba ha ha ha! What a funny young lad.”

Bert’s lips twitch and his face contorted further.

“Alright. I need to return back to the hall. Pay attention to what you are doing and feed the worms carefully.”

“You need to remove the dung periodically and you need to fill water when required.”

“At the end of the day, you can meet me back at the entrance to collect your remuneration. Ba ha ha ha! What a funny lad!”

The elder chortled loudly and his laughter could be heard even though his figure had long since disappeared back inside the hall.

Meanwhile, Bret looked back at the big clew of worms with mixed emotions. “Fuck me! This quest sucks!”

4. Playing with four cuties