CH980 Thera's Perspective

“Hey, how many more kids could your parents have before it started feeling weird?”

“Strange question,” Aso laughed as the two of them walked through town together. “Got an unexpected sibling on the way?”

“Ugh, my mother has made it pretty clear that she’s planning on more if things go well since there’s now a way to manage my charm issue, which wasn’t a big deal when I thought it might be one or two but I’m beginning to worry that she’s thinking double digits.”

“Some competition for the throne then,” the other girl laughed. “I hear that can get messy.”

“Elected matriarchy, I’m not taking over for her as things are and no other hypothetical children will either.”

“What, you can’t? Do succubi have some rule about letting the children of their previous queen have a shot?”

“Okay, no, the main requirement to run for the role is completing Anailia’s trial, so if I wanted to then I’m technically qualified, but I absolutely refuse to and frankly, I don’t think anyone would want me having that position anyway. Opinions about me in Stonewall aren’t exactly too different from opinions I’d get to hear whispered about me growing up.”

“Maybe you’ll need to compete for a different position then?” Aso teased. “Currently only one spirit princess, but if you get some siblings, you’ll be left competing over who gets to be spirit queen.”

“Spirit queen?” the spirits swarming her echoed, playing with the idea amongst themselves, with some sounding far too into it.

“Ignore her, please,” she addressed the surroundings before focusing more on Aso. “Please don’t give anyone any ideas. That’s an even faker position than spirit princess, and I do not want a new title coming along with it.”

“I personally think it would be fun, but okay. In that case, what’s actually on your mind?”

“What? Nothing, nothing, I… well, I guess I feel like I’ve hit a bit of a wall, but that’s a personal issue; it’s not a huge deal.”

The fact that she’d apparently given anything away couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassing, but it was the same thing that had been on her mind for ages by that point. She didn’t know what she could do to grow further beyond her limits. She didn’t know how to reach the third tier.

After all, she wasn’t Ben. She couldn’t make plans upon plans to optimize her existence and she didn’t have a mind that would let her cheat time itself; all she held was her accumulated knowledge, a few handy points in her status, and a time limit. Even if the odds were slim, there was hope she’d become a soul mage, but by that point, she didn’t know what else she might do to make it happen. It wasn’t even a matter of what she knew or not having the talent, it ultimately came down to not having the time to get there.

And I know that it’s the sort of thing that can come with a big enough achievement, but I have no clue what I could possibly achieve to make this happen, she sighed to herself. Add in the fact that I’m helping less at any hospital, and it feels like my odds are dropping.

The worst part was that it was never something she would have considered trying to achieve in the time they had left if the idea hadn’t been put in her head, but now that it was there, it felt inescapable. Everyone had to do their part for the survival of the planet, but it felt like she was on the edge of being able to do so much more, with only one big, impossible threshold holding her back from getting there.

With none of that being anything she wanted to make Aso aware of. The girl was her friend and Thera trusted her, but the town already knew she was a second tier, she didn’t want to deal with anyone having too good of an idea of just how far along the skill she was, even if the other healer tried to reassure.

“I think you’re worrying too much,” Aso told her. “Some things take time, right? Just because you might have slown down doesn’t mean you’re not going to get there. I mean, depending on what wall you think you’ve hit, it might be more shocking if you didn’t need a bit more time.”

“Well, that’s true enough,” she admitted. All things being relative, she really had only become a contender for her life magic recently in comparison to the length of time anyone might be before having any real hope of crossing that boundary. She knew her uncle had been at it for years, if not decades, and while Ben’s insane brain may not have been as long, his sacrilege had a good few years at that level along with plenty of failed attempts to awaken it behind it. Even with all of her mana and her magic authority, hoping that she’d be able to get there so soon was just unreasonable extra pressure to put on herself.

Maybe I’d be able to manage it if my brain was insane too, she sighed. Unfortunately, I’m just too well adjusted I guess.

A small joke to herself to lighten the mood that spawned an unexpected ideal, leaving her brow to crinkle in thought.

“Thera?”

“Hmm? Oh, don’t worry, just had a small idea to try later, it’s not important. For now, want to grab lunch?”

It was a thought she needed to sit on for a bit, and lunch was the perfect time to decide if it was a completely outlandish one. She may not have been insane, but could she make herself even just a little bit, to try and raise her odds?

---

Walking into the shop, it wasn’t any of the numerous Bens or Mora working there who noticed her first but instead Delair, the girl looking the right way at the right time to give her a happy wave and call as she walked in.

“Hey Thera!”

“Hey Delair, hey Mora, you two having fun today?”

“Absolutely! We’re making a trebuchet!”

“A small one,” Ben clarified, as if the fact that the entire space of the shop wasn’t filled with a siege weapon wasn’t a clue enough. “Just something nice and reasonable to get the principles down.”

“But you promised if we do well enough then we could all make a full-sized one later.”

“... Alright, I did promise that, I was just hoping I’d get a different chance to bring it up with Thera later.”

A comment Thera couldn’t allow to go unanswered. “You aren’t going to test it on the town, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Not going to do it in a way that’ll end up scaring anyone?”

“... I mean, people can get so scared about every little thing, who’s really to say?”

“Ben.”

“Fine, fine, before we do it, I’ll mention it to Ceselee. She can tell the rest of the town and anyone else who wants to come can watch, nice and simple.”

“And you won’t be aiming it at anything you shouldn’t be hitting, right?”

“I’ll build a variety of fun targets for the kids’ shooting pleasure.”

“Okay, good. In that case, I came to borrow whichever one of you I can right now, just wanted to pick your brain a bit if I can.”

“Yeah, always. I’ll give you the real deal since I’m not enchanting right now. Come on.”

The real Ben, not being the one with the kids but instead one that was sitting to the side, doing some intricate wood carving, got up and walked to the back room to give them some privacy, waiting for Thera to speak once they were alone.

“Okay,” she started. “So I kind of have a small favour to ask.”

“Sure, let’s hear it.”

“So, you know how you have the most insane mind in the universe?”

“This generally isn’t how you should start when asking a favour, but sure, it’s been said from time to time.”

“Okay, well I was wondering if you’d help me get a particular mind skill.”

A request that instantly had his eyes lighting up, Ben leaned just a bit more forward when the words left her mouth. “Finally seeing the beauty of mind skills, are you? Absolutely then, what are you thinking? Admittedly, I don’t know how to get you complex mind or a thought speed skill, but if you’re looking at parallel thought or mental expansion then I can set up a training routine, easy. Hell, we could get you both today. I could pull you in my head and get you to practice both while I monitor your thoughts until you actually get them and-”

“I appreciate it,” she cut him off before he could get too excited. “But those weren’t the ones I was thinking of.”

“Oh, you sure? Both would be super handy to a mage, and having them natively would probably be a lot easier on you than how it feels using them on a circlet.”

“Yeah, no. Thanks but I’m sure.”

“Mmh, your loss,” he deflated. “In that case, what are you thinking?”

“I want to get alien thought structure. Specifically from the great spirits of the world.”

When it came to trying to awaken her life magic, it seemed like the best idea she had by far. Spirits thought about their magic in completely different ways from mortals, with their only weakness when it came to the magics they held being their inability to grow. A weakness she as a mortal didn’t hold. If she could think like them, then she could try to apply that mode of thought to how she used her magic, hopefully lowering the barrier to cross beyond even what her paternal race could do.

“Oh, I see. Yeah, absolutely not.”

“What? Come on, why not? You’re the only one I can ask for help with this, Ben.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly why. Thera, when I got that skill, I was already midway through unnatural mind and had long since been thinking with my soul, and getting that still hurt like a bitch. Hell, awakening it drove me insane. Trying to apply that to a proper brain is not going to be pretty. I'd place it at 50/50 odds of it just outright killing you and the rest of the odds leaving you a vegetable. I’m not going to do something that I think will kill my girlfriend.”

“Think, but don’t know,” she pointed out. “I’m already half spirit, maybe it won’t be so bad.”

“Except I’ve been in your head and I can tell you with certainty, your mental structure is significantly closer to a succubi’s than it is to any spirit’s. I am not trusting your heritage to protect you. Besides, I got this skill as a result of the careless mistake of a dead god. I don’t even know if it’s possible for anyone else to gain it, let alone for me to somehow help you get it.”

“But you can try,” she pointed out. “You don’t have to test it on me, but you can at least do some experiments to see if it is even possible. Don’t act like me asking didn’t instantly fill your head with ideas about how you might do it.”

“Mmh, I really should have kept a few details of how my own mind works to myself then if anyone is just going to ask me any insane thing and know I’m going to start trying to figure out how to pull it off, intentionally or not.”

“And,” Thera went on. “If it really is still as dangerous as you seem to think after testing it out a bit then I’ll give up. I don’t want to kill myself, Ben, but you’re the one who first brought up the idea of getting me to the third tier. It’s in my head now and I’m not going to be satisfied until I’ve at least explored the ideas I’ve had to get it done.”

“... Fine,” he gave in. “When I’m done with the kids today, I’ll go off and work on seeing if this is at all possible or if it’s just insane, so when I do end up killing every demon I’m going to have to test my ideas on we can move on to less insane ways of trying to get you to awaken, right?”

“I’ve only been trying less insane ways to this point, but yes, thank you,” she agreed. Thera understood where he was coming from. She couldn’t deny some worry about it herself, but it felt like a path to improvement that she didn’t want to miss out on. As unlikely as it was to succeed, it was an option and if it would work, she wanted to take it for all it was worth.