CH943

“Ben,” Pixth nodded when he arrived, four more gods at his side, with all of them looking like they were trying to hide the same state Ben had found both Myriad and Helori in when he’d first shown up that night. “You’ve been busy.”

“I always am. Gonna be honest, when I was told I was going to have to talk to others, I was expecting a bigger crowd.”

“For the sake of keeping things smooth, this conversation between us is being projected to the rest of them. They can have whatever fights and squabbles they want to without interrupting.”

“So, this is just a conversation, huh?”

“I’d prefer it to be, yes.”

“Alright,” he agreed with an exaggerated shrug. “Then let's hear it.”

“Thank you. Then let’s start with the big ones, shall we? The third level of your evil god of sacrilege, as well as holding the third tier skills, evil and destruction authority, you’re now the holder of four third tier skills total.”

“That’s correct.”

“How is that possible?”

“Not to be the sort of jerk who answers a question with a question, but let me genuinely ask you first, have you all really not figured out how I’ve managed it yet?”

“It’s clearly related to one of the crystals in Anailia having been swapped out, but beyond that, no.”

“Alright then, I’m somewhat relieved you’ve at least found that much, but yes, it’s related. I’ve been using the souls of the forbidden gods to train my sacrilege, it just so happens that the sort of way I’m using them happens to be an excellent vehicle for experience when it comes to the sort of things someone might label as evil or destructive.”

“You’re torturing them,” Phixth said, narrowing his eyes as he did while Ben gave his answer in naked indifference.

“I am.”

“No sense of guilt for such a thing, I take it?”

“No. My turn questioning now, in this little conversation we have going on. What percentage of the gods have ever condemned a soul to hell?”

“I couldn’t tell you.”

“More than fifty percent though, right?”

“...”

“Yeah, not shocking. Now, of those more than fifty percent, how many of them feel a sense of guilt for it? If I should be feeling guilty, then surely they should too. No matter what harm any mortal could have conceivably done on this world or any other, none of it can be on the scale of giving the demons system access yet they were all condemned to a realm of eternal torture, rather than just a few weeks of use to help me train.”

“Many would argue that’s not the same.”

“Why not? Because there’s a small degree of separation there, letting the gods who do such things believe they’ve kept their hands clean? As if sending anyone to a torture realm is meaningfully different just because they aren’t actively doing any of the torturing themselves? Or is it different because I’m actively getting something out of it, beyond the perverse knowledge that someone below me is suffering forever? Or maybe I read you wrong and you meant that far more positively. That no matter what, the bit of suffering I’m inflicting isn’t eternal, and thus shows again that I really am more moral than so many of the great and mighty gods of this universe.”

“Ben-”

“Mmh, not that last one I see then. So does it come down to it being worse because you perceive a god’s soul to have more value than a mortal’s? I could argue this point all day if you’d like.”

“Ben,” Phixth stopped him again. “You’ve made your point, but that doesn’t make what you’re doing acceptable either.”

“And, coming from you, I even believe that but let’s be real here, Phixth, when I got my god to make the reveal of my two new awakenings to the rest of you, deciding to let you all be informed rather than hiding it away in an attempt to show some good will, how many among you once more suggested trying to throw my soul into hell? Damning me to an eternity of torment? No, I will not lie, I even believe you’re right that what I’m doing is morally objectionable, but I do not believe the gods to be in a high enough moral standing to judge me for it.”

“So you’re going to keep doing it then?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It’s the best way I’ve found to level my sacrilege, and it looks like my authorities are going to be handier than I’d expected too. It would be useful to raise them.”

“No, I mean, why do you feel the need? You have those skills at their third tier, why would you continue to try and grow their power?”

“You being serious here?”

“I am.”

“Then where do I begin?” Ben asked him. “Awakening my authorities was a quick way to grow my attributes some more, not to put too fine of a point on it, but how many days of work modifying souls am I going to have starting tomorrow? How many people are going to have their attributes grow by hundreds or thousands of points, and what exactly do you all expect the impact to be on the next wave? Sure, I knew from the start that getting these skills was going to make you all uncomfortable, but I also knew it would be worth it. No matter how some up here might turn their nose up at the work I do, this is going to be the most inarguably useful by far. More than anything else, this is going to change the tide of the war, which makes it somehow more disgusting that you all would hold out so much in paying me in attributes.”

“And yet, that is unrelated to your desire to level your sacrilege and your overall thirst for power.”

“... Yeah, you’re right, it is. In that case, before we get to that, can we at least consider my point about my authorities to be made?”

Phixth turned to the four other gods with him, seeing a range of reactions on their faces before nodding. “We can.”

“Good, in that case, we can talk about my sacrilege and why I want power in general. Despite what many of you think, I genuinely am somewhat grateful to the gods of this world for giving me a second chance at life, but only somewhat. Let’s not play or delude ourselves here, while you all did save me and my classmates, it was out of no sense of goodwill to give some children dying under a horrific circumstance a second chance, it was explicitly to get this world a few more powerful soldiers. I’m not going to hold that against you either. You all did what you needed to do, even if it could be considered morally questionable, but given the circumstances, I can at least somewhat accept it. What I am going to hold against you is your carelessness.”

He could see a glare from one of the gods, giving a moment to let the other speak if they wanted to but, getting that and not using it, allowed Ben to go on. “The old head of craftsman’s tower and the old head of Allfaith, the first with his plan to use the spirits of the world to end the war and the second killing anyone who slighted him, both holding high positions in this world yet both going unnoticed until it was too late because when it comes down to it, beyond your work trying to prepare for the demons or look after your own believers, I don’t believe any of you care. Hell, just look at Ather. One of the world’s three demigods and he was a self-righteous, entitled asshole who just wanted to throw his weight around to get what he wanted and as far as I could see, he was just allowed to grow up to be like that with little intervention from the gods. Sure, he was Eneth’s bastard, but others should have intervened too.”

“And is this an explanation or an accusation?” One god finally cut in, getting a look from Phixth for it, even if Ben answered.

“Both. You want to know why I feel the need to raise my sacrilege? There’s a few reasons, but one undeniable one is the fact that I don’t feel like I can trust any of you.”

“So what then, it’s a threat?”

“No, saying or implying you lot will throw me into hell if I don’t do what you want is a threat, something I’ve experienced before on top of all of the other nonsense you’ve put me through. What this is is a deterrent and a defense, and can any of you blame me? I shouldn’t have to live in fear of the gods getting mad about needing to pay me and threatening my existence over it. It’s a topic we’ve talked to death by this point, and the ending has never once been satisfying because constantly it still comes up. Well, this is me, putting an end to it. I want power so I won’t have to suffer for any of your negligence in watching over the world and whenever one of you up here breaks down and decides to kill me, I’m not going to be so weak as to have to sit back and allow it.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Phixth told him.

“No? Then no god ever should have told me they would to begin with. You expect a mortal to hear that sort of thing and take it lightly from a being with both power and authority over them? No, I have no intention of starting fights with you about using my power and while I fully expect to have disagreements about payment still from time to time, we’ll handle them as we have been to this point, but this here is the logical endpoint of my treatment. I’ve always said that I consider you all to be people and whether it’s agreed or not, well, you can’t threaten a person while holding a position of power over them and not expect them to want to defend themselves so there it is. I may not have meant to awaken my sacrilege the way I did but I won’t deny I’ve wanted to and now that I not only have but see that I can grow it, I’m going to for the peace of mind it can give me if nothing else.”

“And when you become a god then? Just what will you do with all of the power you hold?”

“If I can have it my way? Keep to myself and avoid interacting with the other gods of this world as much as possible, though I’ll perhaps step in if I ever find out another up here decided to threaten a mortal over something so minor. In general though, you can trust me on this. I’m sick of most of you and would deeply like to keep our eternity together as separate as possible. So there it is, my honest answer with warts and all, as true as I can be. So what’s the verdict? Is my existence a blight on this universe that needs to be dealt with, or can we stop this little farce and let me do the same thing I always do and keep working to try and help save this stupid doomed world?”

“We’re not here to threaten you right now, Ben.”

“No? What about any of the gods not here?”

“Irrelevant.”

“Kind of feels relevant to me.”

“It doesn’t matter. For good or ill, we are a society, and you are going to be a powerful variable who will one day join us. How much we even could do to you if the gods of the world were to act collectively is already in question and as you've personally seen, this isn’t a matter that we can act in a collective manner so we’re doing the one thing we can. Trying to understand you.”

“I’m exactly what you see on the tin, have been since we’d first started having these meetings.”

“I suppose so, then is that all you have to say?”

“Well, if we’re finishing up, then I suppose I’d like to end on this. For anyone watching, there’s clearly some bigger things going on, so stop worrying about me and the things I do when I’ve constantly shown I’m willing to work to help this world in my own way. If this is still going to be a problem then leave it for once the third wave is done, anything else is a waste of your time and mine.”