Side Story: A continuation of Nare's reaction

Author's note

Sorry for the delay, you guys can look at this chapter as taking place just after ch522. Hope you all enjoy!

“There’s more I want to say, but it seems he’s waiting to begin teaching you all in earnest so we’ll end here for now. Make no mistake though, this is not the last we’ll be talking about how you all acted, punishments are simply pending till your lessons are over. Now go do your best and try not to bring more shame to my name.”

Without another word, Nati, Xilly, and Zallith were kicked from his realm, leaving Nare alone to dwell on his feelings of it all as he created a chair for himself to fall into.

This should have been a happy time for him. Until only a few minutes ago it had been. For the first time in his history, one of his believers had grown to the level of godhood. It was something nearly every god with a presence on that world dreamed of. The fact that it had finally happened for one who’d been a contender for so long before the instability and chaos that were to come could lower Falk’s odds even more than they already were given he’d received no help from the soul mages made it feel all the more lucky too.

But that feeling of luck and happiness had blinded him. He’d let himself become too focused on that one event, falling into a tunnel vision swarmed with excitement that had clouded his eyes to the rest of the world, with that mistake culminating in the near loss of Ben.

The very thought left Nare rubbing his head in frustration and despair. While the boy’s teacher had risen to a nearly unheard-of level, the young apostle had been doing enough for the world that it couldn’t be said with certainty that Falk was the more valuable of the two, no matter how some of Nare’s contemporaries might feel on the matter. If his neglect had led to the world losing someone who could awaken people and make gates the way Ben could then that would have been a heavy blow for everyone, putting their entire future in peril.

And then there’s the matter of how everything even got to that point.

Embarrassment, shame, disappointment, and anger. Those were just a few of the feelings swirling around inside him as he looked back on what had been happening and processed all that had led up to that point as he asked himself what he should have done differently.

The obvious answer was to have spared his granddaughter a little more time during the arranged lessons but there was more he could have looked at too. He should have noticed the feelings forming in Xilly earlier and discussed the matter with her in person instead of having Nati pass everything along and he should have been more firm in explaining the matter of Eneth to his priest after that event had taken place that had set the man’s mind down its judging path.

There’s a million things I should have done. He sighed to himself. But for now, I’d best focus on what I still have to do.

As much as he didn’t want to, he stood up with that thought, doing his best to hide the emotions that were flooding him before he shifted to another realm, joining the god who waited within.

“Myriad,” He said, bowing his head as he did. “For the actions of my granddaughter, priest, and summoned, I can’t apologize enough for the harm that fell upon your apostle, I shall do my best to compensate for this and ensure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Nare, there’s no need to be so stiff and don’t worry about it too much,” The cube told him, sounding surprisingly reassuring despite everything that happened. “I’m not going to blame you for the actions of your believers. I can hardly do such a thing considering the way my own apostle likes to act.”

“That doesn’t mean either of us can excuse the way they acted towards someone I invited as my guest. The fact that any of them were willing to behave in such a way is my failing.”

“Then it’s also mine,” His friend told him. “Ben mentioned that they seemed to hate him, I should have taken the initiative to poke around their thoughts a bit to try and get to the route of the problem instead of just assuming he deserved it.”

That got a small laugh from Nare, despite the circumstances.

“It seems for every part I should be trusting my own less, you should trust yours more.”

“Can you blame me? Look at how badly he wants to raise his sacrilege again and tell me you wouldn’t assume he looked at your granddaughter like she was a potential bit of experience.”

“Ha, perhaps,” He gave, feeling appreciative. Not just letting him off the hook for what happened, Myriad was acting normally. If Nare had been in his position, moments from losing an apostle who’d gained him so many new believers after untold centuries without, he doubted he’d be able to act so amicably, even if it was with a friend.

“So no need to worry about it. He’ll live and at this point, he’s used to taking a beating. Instead, are you doing alright?”

Am I?

The moment he asked himself that, it was obvious the answer was no. He was stressed, the feeling of where he’d gone wrong crushing down on him.

Even as a god, Nare could only do so much. Despite what he may want, he couldn’t personally lead everyone who gave him faith or interfere in their lives to help when they might need it, that was the point of his priests and core believers, but it was in that exact point that he’d failed.

With the biggest issue of all being Nati.

He knew well that he carried a fair bit of blame for how things had turned out, even if it had come from good intentions. She hadn’t trusted his judgment, nor believed he would respect her autonomy, with all of that springing from who they both were.

He was a god while she, a mortal. In the case of his late son, he trusted his mortal parents to raise him well while Nati was looked after by both her mother and the church, believing they’d be the ones best equipped to raise a person and only stepped in to visit every few weeks to be a part of her small life.

But that had been so obviously wrong in hindsight. How was anyone who gave him faith going to possibly raise her in a normal manner and how could they help but influence her idea of the nature of their relationship?

It felt like he was drowning in his own shortcomings when it came to helping raise a person instead of a society and with a friend right there who should have an idea of both better than anyone, the desire for help and advice flowed out of him.

“Myriad, as the only god with your level of experience on actual parenting I could use some guidance. What should I have done differently?” He sighed, with the cube giving him an amused impression as he floated around him.

“I think you might be overestimating me a little.”

“You’re a billion mortals merged into a single being, who could possibly be better?”

“Well, I suppose if you put it like that then that’s fair, though still not an easy answer to help with. No part of me, divine or otherwise, has ever raised a demigod.”

“No, but you’ve raised people while at the same time being those same people who then raised up new generations. That’s a level of awareness nobody else has.”

The cube was silent for a moment as he thought it over while Nare waited with bated breath, wanting any answer on how he could have done better.

“I’m sure there’s plenty of things you could have done differently but honestly, none of that matters. Nobody gets it right when it comes to helping raise a person, not really. Sure, some probably think they do but in practice, that’s more a matter of luck than anything else. People have children and they get things wrong, those children try to make up for those mistakes when having their own, completely blind to the new mistakes they’re making and then that pattern just repeats forever. Sure, you probably could have done more but you have responsibilities of your own so don’t dwell on the past.”

“Because I was never going to get it right?”

“I wouldn’t exactly put it like that.”

Nare laughed. “No, I think that helped a bit. Thank you, Myriad.”

Even if it wasn’t a solid answer, somehow just being reassured that no matter what he might have tried would have been a struggle was enough, and with his friend, tried to look towards the future instead.