Naked Body, Beloved Body.

Do we often see ourselves through others, through photography, through sex or touch? Why is it not always possible to feel the way you feel through someone?

I've found that photography has helped me a lot in this regard. I remember the first time I saw myself in a video and I was very surprised that I liked myself. In the mirror I couldn't see myself that way, for some reason I wasn't able to. Maybe because there was a tape on my eyes that wouldn't let me see myself? Yes, that's probably why I went into photography - to get a real image of myself, I called it ohwhatawoman. It is difficult for me to associate myself with Maria Demina, as if Maria is a variety of images and memories, she is somewhere up there watching and observing everything, and I am here in this real world, on earth, floating between my ideas and images and costumes. I can achieve wholeness when I climb, a mountain for example. The blood rushes inside me, which then smothers itself against the beautiful view of nature, I stand and realize that I am and at the same time I am no longer there, and the world will still be beautiful, even if it becomes just a round empty ball. Yes, then I feel like I'm just this whole me, but when I go down to the city, reading Instagram posts, thinking up tracks for my new DJ set, dreaming, it becomes hard to feel that small, real and whole me here.

Undressed, I've shown and proven something to myself, shattered by a lot of expectations, but I get up and start creating more. Now I'm trying to save that twenty-year-old Masha. Probably any artist will confirm that starting to make money with your art, any kind of art, be it your body, your music, your thoughts or your eyes, you inevitably sell out cheaply. I write beats or lyrics for a blog, it adds up to a piggy bank like "per aspera as astra" and the journey from naked cheap shoots to an artist with an opinion and vision is like the story of a whore who got her rise on boobs, but let's be honest, how many people write beats and music for other artists, put up with their shit and then become something big themselves? How many people get a job at a publishing house and put up with humiliation, or do commercial photography, put up with the customer, and then dictate their own terms? How many women strip for free or for a fee, but how many do we find interesting? And do we have the right to take away these people's rights to growth and success simply because they use their bodies?

Now there are more elements to my sexuality: it's style, Instagram, my personal vision, the desire to appear beautiful. It's as if the stage of naturalness and acceptance of myself is over, now the stage of honing my skills. I mean, I want and easy to get a beautiful shot, but to remain natural in it. I also write about it, showing my inner nudity. This is also nudity, only mental. But here it gets more complicated, because what is a candid text, where the concept is more blurred than just showing breasts, here everything is clear, she showed her breasts, but the text? For some people writing about their menstruation is a revealing text, like for me, and for others writing about their feelings seems kind of stuffy and senile. For me it is to share something intimate, because in this way I am trying to be an author, sharing not only my story as an example, but also leaving space for the person, for imagination and meanings in my blog, in my stories.... 

Desolate questions about the meaning of life with an attempt to oasis in mysticism to find answers as to why we are here; through becoming from the naked body to solving the question through the mind!

Friends, thank you for subscribing to my patreon and reading it, thank you for your time and subscription, I really sincerely appreciate it, happy to share my story with you. And more of my beautiful nude photos you can find here

https://ohwhatawoman.space/ebooks

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