Shiloh: 002

Hoo boy.

First description of the day. That’s right. Double trouble, fellas.

Let’s talk about my favorite thing – the apocalypse. Can someone explain this zombie obsession to me? I feel like – of all the apocalypses, that one is the biggest bummer. With that said, I absolutely have a plan for it. It used to be “just die, probably” but then I worked an office job and it got a LOT MORE DETAILED.

First off – some ground rules. I have talked about this A LOT with A LOT of people, because I am a psychopath. There’s always some smartass who is like WHAT IF THE ZOMBIES CAN RUN? WHAT IF THE ZOMBIES CAN SWIM? WHAT IF THE ZOMBIES CAN FLYYYYYY? Pre-emptively, wash out that filthy mouth of yours. I am willing to ENTERTAIN the possibility of zombies that can run, but the rest? No. A million times no. I’m not even going to tell you why because you know why, ya little shit-stirrer, sit down.

Treehouses, duh. Everyone wants to talk islands but naw. If you colonize a remote island, people will still eventually die from natural causes and depending on your flavor of zombie, they’ll come right back. If you live in a treehouse village though, just throw those suckers over a railing and boom, problem solved. Plus, it’d be a sick place to live. You could have gardens up there, you could hunt from your bedroom - sure - sometimes people would have to be sent down to retrieve materials or water or whatever but isn’t that the part we’re all the most excited for anyway?

That’s what we like about the zombie apocalypse. We wanna sneak around and shoot some zombies in the face, but only when we feel like it. Hey, zombies can’t attack you when you’re sleeping in a treehouse, but you wanna go play some Walking Dead IRL? Cool, climb down this rope ladder and have at it.

Look for me in the Adirondacks, friends. I’ll laugh at you from up high and say “I told you so” and then probably ask you to grab that deer I shot a day ago and please bring it up to me, thanks.
- [RED]