Audio Poll: Which of these lines work?
Added 2019-11-15 11:00:02 +0000 UTC
Hey everyone, Marie here again with another post for your ears. This audio post is a little different than the previous ones, however, because I’m more interested in knowing what you think about WHAT is being said, rather than how it’s being said. Allow me to elaborate.
Attached to this post are 11 mp3 files, each containing 3-5 takes of a line from an old version of the Blood Crown script. These lines were recorded over a year ago by the voice actress SilkyMilk for the character of Lanessa. Since this version of the script was scrapped we can let you listen to some of it without spoiling anything.
What we'd like you to tell us is which of this dialogue works. When I say "works" I mean, you either find it appealing outright, or you wouldn't find it disruptive if you heard it during a sex scene. Disruptive can mean just about anything that would take you out of the moment, be it an awkward word choice, unusual phrasing, or just a plain corny sounding line. If the line itself works, but the delivery doesn't, go ahead and mark it as OK in the poll. You can leave a comment if you want to give us some feedback or share your thoughts.
Before you do that, just an FYI about these lines and voice acting. You'll be able to get a hint of Lanessa's personality from these lines, but because we've overhauled the script quite a bit since these lines were recorded, the dialogues, Lanessa's personality, and also SilkyMilk's voice acting have all changed accordingly. So if you don't like this first little preview of Lanessa, don't fret, because she's a bit different in the final version. You'll have to wait a bit longer to see that, however. Until then, enjoy!
Comments
Reading them i would have said 3 or 9 but hearing them out loud i went for 8.
Cabal
2019-11-23 11:14:19 +0000 UTC:( I'd like her to be more dominant and taciturn or sparing with words (I didnt know I'd need this word ever). It would also be nice if the emphasis in her sentences would lie on pronouns. I mean something like " - I - will fill you up." " - I - wont go easy on you." " - You - are being very selfish." "Give in .... to - lust - ." "Whats on your mind? Its - MY - cock." "Time to pleasure - MYself - ." "There is no happy end.... atleast for - you - ."
toast4ya
2019-11-17 21:11:00 +0000 UTCNov2019, Had a listen to your sound tracks. Made an attempt to choose one track in each. Not sure I could explain my choices and the whys but perhaps this might help with your study. 1-2 2-1 3-1 4-1 5-3 6-0 7-2 8-3 9-2 10-2 11-3 Played each track over at least three times. Could not like any in 6. Delivery, not wording.
Jack Pinder
2019-11-17 16:29:24 +0000 UTC2 sound the most exciting. Number 3 was in royal descent and I loved it so much, my favourite line from that is “look at you, you swallowed a whole cock” It’s so sexy to hear the submissive cock sucker been praised for her slutty skills by her surprised and excited master.
Sourcefan
2019-11-17 08:27:06 +0000 UTCWell she's supposed to be in control, that's kind of the running storyline here.
EmEn
2019-11-17 03:41:53 +0000 UTCmy issue is that she sounds fully in control the whole time, whereas I'd like to hear a voice that's almost delirious with pure physical ecstasy.
Calista
2019-11-17 03:31:52 +0000 UTCAbout the audio the third is least appealling for me almost every time
Neptune
2019-11-15 21:52:43 +0000 UTCI didn't vote for the most voted (5) and the less voted (10). I think "Do you want my cum?" could be better in a threesome setup like "Fuck her harder!". "Take all of her cum" "Do you want her cum?" "Which cum taste better?" etc...
Neptune
2019-11-15 21:45:37 +0000 UTC❤ all the phrases. The voice actress is an excellent choice. I still like your voice, Marie. So sexy!
Andrew Rowe
2019-11-15 20:45:42 +0000 UTCAmazing. I'd love to see that, it'd so damn hot! :D
Llama
2019-11-15 17:52:40 +0000 UTCGreat actress choice. They're all fine. I really like 1 and I hope some form of that idea makes it in. Even though this asks to disregard delivery, there's a lot of cliche stuff like "Take it all", and "Deeper" and such that *really* is dependent on the delivery in terms of whether it sounds acceptable or not. In that vein, most of the choices here would work. But I think beyond the usual stuff, anything that has characters remarking on each other's physical traits is a nice thing to have. For example, I'd genuinely like to know what Lanessa, Sophia, or even Cerene herself thinks about her huge tits. They're the biggest in Miro's universe, but maybe they're not that exceptional to the characters within it. Could be a brief remark in passing. Maybe at the beginning, within a story being told about how Cerene seduced Tristan, or in the heat of the action when Sophia is titfucking her. "You've been eyeing these for awhile Sophia. Why not just give in and cum between them already?" Maybe she wants to tire Sophia out early there. Goes a long way to revealing some personality about the character oggling someone else's body and the person being oggled. :D You get the opportunity to communicate how characters see each other, whether they're turned on by certain specific traits, or whether they're impressed by what is happening. Is Sophia's ass as amazing to Cerene or Lanessa as it looks to me, the viewer? Maybe Lanessa has a fondness for that part, and Sophia can't stop staring at Cerene's tits on display. It's a fine line though, I think it can easily be done wrong, but if it's done correctly and compactly at the right moment, it adds a lot of character. "Nice and tight" is good or can even be more descriptive or delivered in a certain way, say if Cerene is unnaturally tight and is trying to milk Sophia or Lanessa's cock. You really don't want to get too verbose and ruin the moment, but this stuff can really add some extra context to the sex scenes.
EmEn
2019-11-15 17:07:32 +0000 UTCNumber 9 is my favorite, I imagine it's Lanessa and another girl touching their cocks together and they're just throbbing hard ;D
Haillo
2019-11-15 16:34:38 +0000 UTCDisagree. Especially that any of it sounds unnatural or that she's pushing her breath too much -- in fact I think it sounds better because she's pushing it. All the takes are good it's just a matter of preference and context that we don't have.
iPhantom!
2019-11-15 14:23:05 +0000 UTCRegardless of WHAT is being said I like Silky Milk's voice she is a great choice.
iPhantom!
2019-11-15 14:21:15 +0000 UTCThis sounds so unnatural, stilted, and put on. Please tell the actress to loosen up on the enunciation and tone down the acting 25%. Her actions aren't there. She's not actually asking if she wants her cum. She's just saying the words with a generically "dominant" affectation. She's pushing her breath too.
Jables
2019-11-15 12:25:55 +0000 UTCThis is hard to choose. So far I like all of them^^
Dispeace
2019-11-15 11:52:55 +0000 UTCAll work as far as content. Personal preference on delivery would be less "comical"/"cinematic drama", and more aggressive/angry. Perfect example is the "deeper" and "fuck her harder" lines.
Frank Celestino
2019-11-15 11:35:58 +0000 UTCDownloading now! Can't wait to listen and review
Grayve
2019-11-15 11:30:43 +0000 UTCAm very glad u added this
John Douglas
2019-11-15 11:04:35 +0000 UTC
