SakeTami
cheyenne barton
cheyenne barton

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083. "always learning and growing" or whatever

Hello my dears!! Here is our first July podcast!! It ended up getting a little more, uh...vulnerable?? than I was planning, but I hope it's not too much heh ;;

I'm dealing with a lot of emotions rn!! A lot of things are changing in my heart and head and career!! So forgive me if I explore these feelings on the podcast, I just enjoy sharing these little peeks into my inner life with y'all. <33 

I hope you're well!! What have you been up to? Talk soon~

083. "always learning and growing" or whatever

Comments

I relate so hard to the deep fear of being perceived as annoying and also isolating myself for days at a time without leaving my apartment. I don't want anyone to think I'm awkward to be around so it's easier to stay home when I'm so comfortable being alone. But I also get lonely and want to deepen friendships and crave community so I totally understand what you're saying. Adult friendships are SO hard. I've been saying yes to more things and re-downloaded Bumble BFF but have to take breaks and recharge. Thanks for sharing because it helps knowing other people experience this 💗

Amy

Oh I would love love if you made a YouTube channel out of your streams

Jill Calderon

I resonated with a lot of what you were saying, especially about feeling annoying and not knowing how to deepen friendships you want to keep pursuing. (Adult friendships are so tough, why are they so tough!!) Thanks for sharing with us ❤️ I am also STOKED for Fields of Mistria!! Been following the development for awhile and I’m so eager to play it. It’s probably my most anticipated game right now, along with Mineko’s Night Market! Curious to hear how you like Eastward — been thinking about picking that up for awhile, the pixel art is chef’s kiss ✨

Danielle Humphrey

Oh sending you big hugs :,) this podcast and any of your content is always the best part of my day! I know it won't mean the same since us patrons only know you in a parasocial way, but you're so loved by us!

Isabel

oh, well!! this is very lovely!! thank you!!

cheyenne 🌠

Wow I felt all of this so hard, it was like I was listening back to my internal monologue ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I had really bad agoraphobia as a result of the pandemic, and since my job is running a shop from home as well, it was super easy for me to just never leave. I finally pushed myself to take a pottery class at the beginning of this year and it helped immensely! Having something to look forward to each week that would also encourage me to get out of the house, be creative without monetizing it, and explore the area around the pottery studio was really life changing. It taught me so much about enjoying my own company. If you have the brain space/financial ability I’d really encourage you to sign up for some sort of course as a way to take yourself on a little outing each week :•)

Taryn

Cheyenne, a thing about yawning: it’s actually a sign that your parasympathetic nervous system is kicking in, meaning you are feeling calm (or soon going to feel calm) and any anxious feelings you’re having are being regulated, which can be a really nice thing. And when you yawning makes listeners yawn, you’re really just passing on the calm :)

Amelie Lasker

I'm a new strawberry sweetie and I've been loving your podcasts! Thank you for keeping me company. I also live alone and work from home, and can go for days without social activity. I just have certain bursts of "social activity needs" so I might schedule something with my friends on a weekly basis. And finding new friends is so hard, especially after college!! My only 2 friends (in this town) are likely to move out soon, so I'm not sure what to do after that. From an introvert, I just think you have a very rich inner world who feeds you, and that's ok :) It's also good, for me at least, to leave my apartment (eg. gym) at least daily; I do daily walks and they are very nice. Looking at other people makes me realise there are nice humans out there!! Thank you for sharing all of this, it makes me feel understood!

Mariana Laranjeiro

Hi Chey! I am so so so similar when it comes to spending time alone and feeling like I'm bothering people-- I think it's part of the rejection sensitivity that comes with ADHD sometimes. I also have some bullying trauma from school that exacerbates it. Please be gentle with yourself, it's so hard.

Amara

I love vod channels! I just prefer YouTube as a video watching platform (although I also use twitch semi-regularly) The little soph prrrlp at the end 😭 my heart

Pauline Bennett (yaycaffeine)

I’m an extremely solitary creature and highly value my alone time / not having to engage socially with anyone whenever I need ;-; I also super enjoy and weep in gratitude for the friendships in my life and love being around ppl lmao, so it’s this strange push and pull at times <3 eeeps! there are a couple ppl I want to spark friendships with in my community but I’m so shy… and the awkwardness is real lolol. I’m rly picky with who I spend & share my time with, sometimes it makes me feel guilty. Phew ❤️‍🩹 I feel you in yer social struggles my dear ❤️‍🩹 thanks for being so vulnerable as always <3

mystikmisfit

I started Eastward and then got to a point in the story that (to me) felt really offensive and gross so set it aside indefinitely. You might like Dave the Diver - you explore the ocean fishing and then run a sushi restaurant.

Mattie Vukmir

thank you!!! i need my certification renewed

cheyenne 🌠

I really enjoy this podcast. I think a lot of people feel a bit out place now and then, we are constantly presented with new situations we have to tackle. I feel we all play different roles when walking through life. We are still who we are, but add a thin layer of a slightly different person, when a faced with a new situation. Almost like a safety blanket. Once you get know someone or something, its easier to show your whole self. Love to hear all the positivity in your voice. Lots of love, Mom

Ingela Barton

I look forward to these podcast episodes. I like your vlogs too but these podcasts are so nice to listen to while I do artsy things or chores vs the vlogs I like to actively watch. Thanks for keeping me company and being so open and vulnerable on here, helps me feel less alone!🫶🏼

Em

this episode really resonated with me with the whole “i feel so annoying” thing. i am constantly apologizing and wondering if i’m being too much or too annoying to my friends…maybe this is an ADHD thing idk but it sucks when it happens!!

Finlay

omg chey don't worry about yawning!!! you're a certified sleepyhead!!!

molly

it’s definitely not present all the time!! but it certainly finds me in weird and inconvenient moments lolol

cheyenne 🌠

The feeling you describe, the “I hope I’m not annoying, I bet the others don’t want me here” totally resonated with me. I used to feel that sooo much. It gradually went away over time but I still get twinges of it, even at age 35!

Alison Kirby

I’ve enjoyed these so much lately, thank you for keeping me company ❤️‍🩹 happy you are feeling better and back with your cat babies

antsyghost


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