SakeTami
Open Book with QuarterJade
Open Book with QuarterJade

patreon


this is a vulnerable post

i’ve kinda talked about my random mood swings, the best way i can describe it is that it feels like the big sad is coming but then it kinda disappears one day

anyways i spent last night bawling my eyes out and my left eye won’t stop twitching and now my right eyelid is bruised from rubbing away my tears but i swear that this must be tied to my period timings or something bc ITS JUST I FEEL CRAZY it feels so weird to one day be normal and then the next you don’t really feel like yourself

i’ve been simultaneously having more energy and also seemingly exhausted lmfao

haven’t washed my hair in 3 days, running on 4 👍

i think i also need to pick up a book like i haven’t been painting or reading lately and maybe my mental bad cuz of it

any recs for next book club read?

merp

this is a vulnerable post

Comments

That kind of emotional rubber-banding can be so exhausting. I can also relate; I’m in a stage of life right now where even major things that bring me joy can feel like they rejuvenate me less than they should. It’s frustrating and annoying when the only thing you can do about it is just get through it. Kudos to you for sharing and getting through it. We’re here for you! In my melancholy, I actually read quite a bit this year! If you’re looking for something fun, cozy, and frivolous, I recommend The Enchanted Greenhouse by Sarah Beth Durst. If you want more thoughtful and feels in a science fiction setting, Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang is very good (though they’re a series of short stories vs one story).

Jesscuh

!¡! ür awesüm jodi plz dont die and/or smoke crakkk or else !¡! thxXxü

𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕟

im unsure what'z in store this year, but signalz point to some sorta transformation with lotz of change, december has üs reflect on the past && fütürë, && these transitional periodz seem to surface a hopeful melancholy w/ sensitivity to the wævez of the external world, it only makez sense to feel them internally :) !¡! but2feel iz2live !¡! (: read // paint // breathé, wii walk a wonderfül journey <3

𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕟

Not sure if we can send links but I found the way this was written to be helpful to me, hoping it’s helpful to others too who may need it 💕 https://www.innerbecoming.com/blog/choosing-the-path-of-least-resistance-embracing-ease-and-dropping-the-struggle

paigeekay

Also to piggyback off what others have said about exhaustion - I’m a big proponent of embracing the path of least resistance as of recently. If I need to do something that I know will cause some type of friction, my mind will immediately tap out and I’ll just avoid it all together because I don’t have the capacity to deal with an obstacle (big or small). I now allow myself to create accommodations to minimize any friction, which some might call it the “easy way,” but there’s no shame in removing unnecessary efforts.

paigeekay

pmdd is not fun at all. there is something that helps take the edge off for some people, and they're starting to do actual research on it as well. it's the combination of pepcid-AC and allegra together when you get to your typical pms stage. it's supposed to help something something about histamines blah blah, a lot of people have said it's helped them, myself included. i will also say idk what causes your inflammation, but i have 2 diagnosed autoimmune diseases, and when I'm flaring up, my moods are all over the place. i think there's merit to inflammation in the brain or different hormones being disrupted due to inflammation. once i got on an immunomodulator to help with the inflammation, the pendulum swing of hormones became slightly less extreme. hope you feel better <3

ziggy

My mood swings are DEF tied to my period 😭 I will literally be crying over NOTHING all day, look up my tracker, sure enough my period is due in 2-3 days. EVERYTIME! ALSO apparently there is a universal common dip in mood that happens after the holiday season into the new year. Like a seasonal depression but specifically tied to the New Year!

Kayloox

I love how you know you have a safe space here to be vulnerable like this. Talking about it and balling your eyes out is one of the best things you can do honestly. Once you let it out and let go of the weight of not knowing why you feel certain ways helps, idk how but it does imo. I kinda find your post relatable bc I randomly woke up yesterday balling my eyes out too and I had no idea why bc I've been happy and energetic the past few days. Maybe its just our bodies telling us to take things slower and just breathe for a bit? Thanks for being vulnerable! You don't always have to do things the way they're supposed to be done. If you feel crazy bc you feel "normal" one day and then the next its the complete opposite, please do remember that these shifts in moods are actually normal and we sometimes need days like this. Its hard to always be the strong girl, its ok to rest, its ok to lean on someones shoulder after being the shoulder to lean on for so long. You're body might finally be settling down after everything thats been going on for the past few months esp with the move and all the stress you went through with that. Maybe your body didn't have enough time to process all of that bc you had no choice but to keep moving forward with everything. You've moved, probably finished unpacking and decorating, you got through the holidays and now with no more major events going on you have more time to think, no more distractions maybe? Thinking about painting and reading books again just shows how much you know yourself and how many times you've been through this, you should be proud of yourself for that. Maybe continuing what you were doing (painting and other hobbies) before all the moving happened could actually help though. Like you always say, the world is your oyster! You escaped the pressure of being in LA for a reason, that was a biiiiig step, now maybe its time for baby steps again. Also maybe it was all the league. Jk huhu. Hope you feel better. Ps. You posting this made someone (me lol) realize that im not alone in this big sad im going through so thanks! <3

jam

girl it must’ve been the full moon… I called out of work today because my anxiety made me feel like I was dying and my stress is so high right now that my eyes are twitching!!! It’s exhausting and I swear I’ve cried GALLONS over the last few days. I know we’ll both start to feel better soon. I guess this is just one of the ebbs of life 🫶🏻

Lyra ✨

First I want to say that you being open and sharing your emotions, giving space for others to share their experiences, extend their thoughts and support is beautiful. Thank you. I’m sorry you are feeling this way and can only hope & wish you feel better with time. I also experience moments like this and it really messes with me because I could be having high highs and extremely low lows. Where I stop talking care of myself and just want to crumble. It is exhausting. I have heard that emotions like that occur during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. So a week or two before you start. I try to be much easier to myself during this. Again, I hope you feel better Jodi<3 take care!

Melissa Mendoza

i find routine exhausting when im struggling with my mental health. ive found that what works for me best is to talk with those you love, be around those you love and take care of you first. showering is hard, i think im on day 8 of not washing my hair 😬 but i agree with someone above, sometimes sitting in the shower and just taking my time washing my hair helps. i like to wash before bed so i can just lay down after and sometimes ill even sleep with my hair wet 😬 its less over stimulating than sitting around with it wet. to me, at least. good luck queen

Emma

i can’t relate to the period part of it because i’m a m*n🤢 but the first half of last year i was having these random depressive episodes where i’d bawl my eyes out for a few days, sometimes a week and then i’d randomly feel fine? i figured maybe my body was processing something i wasn’t fully aware of and learned to just accept how my body decided to deal with it rather than fight it. allow your emotions to flow through you as they need to, kinda thing. it’s okay to not be okay sometimes, even tho it fucking sucks, the only way out is to keep going :/ even when you feel like poop just try to keep doing the things you love to show ur body and mind that you are okay so it can begin to regulate itself. you got this jodi, we all love you gang member 🫂🩵

Cazpr


More Creators