The Mystery Of Shitty Dan

OMG PANEL 4 why did it take me so long to have that realisation? Trying not to be a nerd when you’re a nerd is exhausting and depressing.

James Dore

I like playing with the Magic Cards...

Mark Metzler

As someone who runs and lifts, and also loves playing tuba and D&D, this rings so true.

TubaGinger

Before introducing him to Brun, Renee should ask if any of them are actually replica harpoons.

BobC

Probably owns 16 but two are from a game and 1 is from a show

Andrew Herrera

I own a couple swords, and I don't even play magic cards.

awgiedawgie

no replicas. one French bayonet from the 1870s, one machete from somewhere in Central America, and a US Naval Officer's sword. oops, wait - I do have replicas - a set of Japanese swords - crap blades, but nice decoration - a katana and a wakizashi. I guess at least I bought them in Japan.

Joe

HEY KIDS! Remember: The 'w' in "sword" is silent! A public message from the kind clans on Medieval Street!

They can be real swords, just made as replicas from history or fantasy. One of my metallurgy projects was to make an accurate replica of a historical short sword. We got to pick the stock (as opposed to making our own steel) and it turns out that Plymouth (look it up in Wiki) had a torsion bar front suspension as opposed to a coil spring (found in junk yards). We had to analyze the steel, and it turns out we couldn't buy stuff that good unless you paid stupid cash. Flatten, fold and repeat.

Jim Feldman

One very real Oakeshott type XII, a bunch of rattan wasters, a 6’ Dane axe and a boar spear made by a very dear friend.

Barty

25? 26. I'm going with 26 replica swords.

Mark P.

I ship it, more nerds for the nerd pile! 🔥🔥🔥

Leona

*Deep inhale* Swept-hilt broasword, Celtic anthropomorphic short sword, cutlass, katana/wakizashi/tonto tourist set,15th C. axe, tomahawk, and more daggers/knives than I'd care to count including an authentic Indonesian knife set with hand-carved wood scabbard that a buddy in college brought me back from a mission trip. The axe is the only one I'd actually trust for home defense, though. :-)

One pretty lousy replica sword. One US Army sword, circa 1860. And a couple of machetes.

Tom B

It also took me a long while to figure out exactly that. Kudos to Dan!

melloncollic

no shame in replica swords.... as long as they're -real- and not just decorative sword-shaped objects*. *squints-in-sword-nerd* (*actually who gives a hell if they're decorative or not, love what you love boo)

Burke

Much as I appreciate how Jeph draws the ladies, given that one could populate an entire new comic with the female *robots* in this strip, a new male character is a nice change of pace.

Mark

I thought for a second that Renee said "adorable" in the last panel, which would have been a rapid escalation.

Mark

Ahahahahhah

Jeph Jacques

Dammit, you just blew 2 years of plot!!

So, it can go this way - Renee moves in with Dan, leaving town, Brun needs new companion, Millie moves in with her (just changing apartment is pretty easy), Clinton moves in to now fully committed Elliot, and Yay visits them sometimes to pet Hercules. Everybody is happy.

Evgeniy Semyonov

Wow, I wonder, who can afford a real Frostmourne?

Evgeniy Semyonov

Okay, this guy is all kinds of boyfriend material.

Solomon Garland

*you wish. Well, I certainly do.

Nulgar

Was he called "Shitty Dan" because of that shit-eating grin? :D

Nulgar

If he has that kind of money he can farking get real ones, not just replicas

Todd Ellner

It's an important lesson that's unfortunately pretty hard to learn properly- The one person you're going to spend 100% of your time with is yourself, so you better be cool with who that is. Looks like Dan had to go pretty far to either side before finding the middle ground, but serious props to him for finding it. Also, owning replica swords is extremely admirable. Think about how much safer you are during a home invasion with a sword. You charge a guy with a crowbar yelling at the top of your lungs clad only in your whitey tighties and Frostmourne- they're not gonna wanna come back.

AlexKorobeiniki

I’m just waiting for the smash cut of Renee and Shitty Dan in bed together post-coitus.

Populuxe

This is the first time I've seen you here! Hi Eric!

orange slice

I have swords. Is it really that weird?

Chris Vermeers

If you LARP enough, they're not replicas.

Lightsabr2

The only one I have is from Assassination Classroom. :/

Nick Hodgson

Let them fuck in peace!

Stephen Wells

WHAT THE FUCK ARE ELLIOT AND CLINTON DOING?

Pete Hanson

He’s gotta have two fireplaces, an outdoor pool and heated hot tub that looks like the hot tub from the movie “Hot Tub Time Machine.”

Miyaa

Depends on the number of fireplaces you have in your home Dan.

drone r0m-3

I don’t have any swords. Got a lot of LEGO Star Wars models though. Including a metre long Star Destroyer.

Thisguy

I vote NEVER. Jeph is not allowed to die without passing the QC torch onto a well-trained and talented apprentice.

Andrew Mitchell

This question HAS to be asked: Jeph, how the HELL do you come up with such interesting, so REAL characters for QC? Inquiring minds need to know!

Joseph Bonnar

That skull picture has been hung in Coffee of Doom since before the comic started.

Seth Aaron Hershman has they she pronouns

I have seven replica fantasy swords (eight if you count the Legolas "White Knives" set as two, but... they're a set), three touristy-replica European swords (actually my partner's), and one non-replica fencing foil from my one-semester stint in the UofT fencing club.

James Redekop

Renee seems to have recovered nicely without having to play Magic cards. Go Renee!

Cleo Schmitz

How many are real-sword replicas of other swords (fictional or non-)? P sure that's a thing one could do

Minzoku Bokumetsu

1 < number of replica swords I own < 100

Hugh Eckert

Is that SKULLMASTER, MASTER OF SKULLS I see there? Also, it looks like her eye in Panel 3 didn’t get colored in fully? Unless that’s intentional.

Desdemona Gunn

Shitty Dan's a sword bro...oof.

Josh Moberly

I mean, I have 4 and it isn't even a collection, I just sort of ended up with them.

Richard Riley

Yeah, yeah. But does he have a harpoon?

Bagge

next up, the ballad of shitty dan

Prezo

Also if you are into the experimental side of things, the particle image velocimetry jokes write themselves. There was the time a friend and I were demonstrating particle image velocimetry in a hotel lobby and the staff asked us to stop because they were afraid of the floor getting slippery. (It was winter in Boston, there was this fierce floor-level draft that was easily visualized with soap bubbles....)

Brooks Moses

Convention auctions are dangerous things. I also have a sword I bought at one of them.

Brooks Moses

Oh great, ANOTHER new character to fall in love with. When will it end, Jeph? WHEN WILL IT END?

Azrux

HOW MANY SWORDS, SHITTY DAN??????? THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

Jackie Horn

I own one replica sword. Actually, it is supposed to be pretty much on a par with the original materials wise, so it could probably be used as a real sword. The Model 1913 Cavalry Saber, or Patton Saber. It is not pretty. It is a mass produced pointy thing for killing people. It isn't even designed to be worn, it is designed to be attached to your saddle.

Tudza

Smoothed particle hydrodynamics, ftw!

Craig Miller

Shitty Dan is more or less me, except I never went through a phase of not being myself.

Wolfger

OMG I just realized I am "shitty Dan" in RL"

Sean Rotter

I myself have definitely never spent $300 on swords for SCA fencing well not more than 3 or 4 times

R. Francis Smith

Is Shitty Dan is one of the BROS? Part of me thinks he’s too old, but then again Renee and Brun may be younger than Marten and Faye. Do we know?

Eric Sieck

OMG THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE SHITTY DAN

Creepy Cat Lady

Ass Swordsman Tetsuo is loosely based on Shitty Dan's life.

Dean Reilly

Oh no I kinda love this dude.

Ariamaki

That’s what Renee said...

Simon Green

That is a horribly awesome expression.

Drazi

I would like to see the swords, please. 😁

JoeTheCynic

Why is this my life???

Dammit Jeph, you already have too many likable characters. Stop making more.

JD

I fucks with Dan. 😎👍🏽

VGreenGoblinV

Oh they fuckin.

Jaron Mortimer

Sam has at least one.

Michael Boettger

I kinda have a small feeling he's gonna shuck Renee's flesh oyster.

Joel Bateman

Oh no a self aware geek

Hope

I've always had a thing for knives. Every single carrying bag I own has a knife in it. I have to work to dig things out if I travel anywhere it's going to be a problem. My eldest child went on a Student Ambassador trip to Europe, and while in Toledo, Spain, bought a sword. I was like... I don't have a sword. I WANT A SWORD. And, while at a scifi convention art auction (a safe, low-key thing to do while trying to wake up on a Sunday Morning at the con...) a friend was listening to me being amused as I griped about how my KID has a SWORD from TOLEDO in SPAIN and I DON'T HAVE A SWORD... and ended up helping me win the bid on a replica sword from the first Highlander movie. So... I only have 1 replica sword. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!! (My kid's sword isn't a replica...)

Am Queue

6. He has at least 6.

Michael Boettger

I’m surprised he hasn’t spent considerable time and money buying authentic swords or building the crafting barn to make his own swords. And then Renée titters.

Miyaa

Hell yeah shitty Dan.

Kitza

He isn't the only sword owner she knows.

Michael

While you were studying the computational fluid dynamics,

Magic Chopstick Games

But does he watch Ass Swordsman Tetsuro?

gatherer818

That fucking smirk. Oh I KNOW that fucking smirk.

R L

Fermi estimate of how many swords Shitty Dan owns?

Cody Renton

Screw that mystery, THE BALLAD OF SHITTY DAN

Jonathan Marinaro