Morgana’s Phantom Dignity - Chapter 1: Champ

If the Phantom Thieves were one thing, it was practical. Sort of.

They had a system and they were sticking to it. It was a system mostly put forth and backed up by this weird cat thing they found that showed up and started strutting before them like he was the boss. Only, it became rather clear that he was a little more unsure of himself than previously thought.

Still, that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he was doing and with his help, the Phantom Thieves made a name for themselves around the world despite being centered in Japan. Their success was a calling card to all evil doers who dared ruin the lives of the ones they were responsible for that their gross negligence of those responsibilities will not be tolerated.

In order to maintain an order like that, it required delicacy and skill… the kind that Ryuji never seemed to live up to as far as Morgana was concerned.

“Skull! Will you get back here you dunderhead?!” Morgana practically shouted when he saw Ryuji, codenamed Skull for their outings, wander forward when he saw the treasure they were after sitting on a pedestal before him.

Skull stopped and stamped his foot in frustration. “Mona, please stop bleating at me. You’re a cat, not a sheep!”

“I’M NOT A CAT EITHER!” Morgana, codenamed Mona while on duty, snarled and clenched his cute kitty paw tighter.

The other Phantom Thieves were used to their bickering by now. It wasn’t anything all that special. They were mostly concerned with what the next step was. Mona stopped Skull for a reason but getting that reason out of him would take them backing off on the insult hurling.

“Alright you two, that’s enough,” Queen, real name Makoto, spoke up next. “Please inform Skull on what it is he’s done wrong so we can continue on properly.”

Skull’s eye twitched. She wasn’t even entertaining the idea that Mona was wrong about him having messed up was she?

Morgana smirked and cleared his throat into his paw. That confidence radiating off of him was garish. Skull wanted to slap him across the face and see if he melted into a puddle from the hit.

“Well, my dear Queen, it’s quite simple. So simple in fact that the dumb blond over there missed it. The lasers all around the treasure are all horizontal and in front of the podium. Walking forward anymore than you’ll have to is going to signal more guards and we already fought our way through plenty.” Morgana stated.

“I SEE the lasers dude!” Skull snapped. “What, you thought I was just going to walk right into them?”

“Well,” Panther, aka Ann Tamaki, spoke up next. “I just noticed this now but your feet are dangerously close to one right now.”

“I–what?!” Skull turned and gasped. He shuffled back and then bent down to inspect it.

She was right but this laser was odd. It was super thin and only visible at a weird angle.

“That’s SO weird. How’d they do that?” Skull asked.

“Well,” Fox, aka Yusuke, began ruminating, “It could be that because this palace is someone’s cognition they’re able to forge security beams that are only visible at trick angles. They likely wouldn’t even need a source to come from. Not necessarily anyway.”

“Wow,” Oracle, aka Futaba, said with her hands behind her back. “That spits in the face of science like nobody’s business. I’m impressed. Maybe not the part about using trick lights but having no source? It kinda sucks.”

“Maybe we should still look for one just to be safe?” Noir, aka Haru, said following this.

Their leader, Joker, rubbed his chin and glanced down at Morgana. Morgana merely grinned his toothy grin from earlier.

“No need. I already know what to do. Joker? Get me up to the rafters and tie this rope around my belly. We’re going to pull me down so I can grab the treasure myself!”

Morgana rubbed his hands together after handing their leader the item in question, eyes sparkling with excitement.

Joker held onto the rope and gave a quick nod before turning to sprint off first.

However, he stopped in his tracks, along with everybody else, when he heard a voice cut through the darkness.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Everyone got into a battle stance. Morgana pointed his sword forward and let it’s shine twinkle at the tip for proper emphasis.

“Who’s there? Are you the boss of this palace?” He asked, trying to sound as forceful as he could.

“Whoa there. Calm down folks. I ain’t no boss…” The voice said, coming out of the shadows. “I’m just a friend.”

Standing at the exact same height as Morgana was another fully clothed creature with a mask over his face. He looked like a small panda bear but unlike Morgana who was decked out in full black thief attire, this panda’s clothes were bagging combat pants, boots, a jacket with a white shirt on, and his mask seemed to be patterned in camouflage.

“I’ll decide whether you’re a friend or not,” Morgana said, stepping forward with his weapon still drawn.

“You will?” The panda tilted his head. “Why don’t your friends there get a say as well.”

“I like him,” Skull said immediately. Mona just grunted and shot him a dirty glare. He then turned back to the panda guy.

“Your name?” Mona asked, not even attempting to hide his instant vitriol.

“Champ,” The panda said.

“Ha!” Mona snorted. “You’re serious?”

“Yeah. It’s a cooler name than Mona. Sounds like the baby-volution of the Mona Lisa or some shit.”

Skull, Joker, Futaba, and Haru laughed at that. Mona blushed and felt an angry anime vein pop on to his head.

“Oh you got jokes huh? Well, that certainly makes you more interesting than a lot of the other shadows we’ve come across!” Mona snapped.

“I’m probably a shadow but if I am I’m the same as you, Mona. So please put that away and hear me out,” Champ tried to speak again.

Mona did indeed put his weapon away but hearing him out wasn’t in the cards today. He turned and started to scamper back over to Joker.

“No can do. Trust isn’t an inevitability like you seem to think it is. We’re going with my plan,” Mona said, snapping his fingers and jumping to the top rafters. Joker shrugged and followed after him.

Champ grunted, looking up as he watched Joker tie the rope around Morgana’s belly.

“You’re making a mistake,” He said calmly.

“If he is, can you tell us what it is?” Queen asked.

“I was going to use the info as a bargaining chip so that you would owe me one but now–” Champ sweated when he saw Joker lower Morgana over the treasure.

“No bargaining here dummy!” Morgana stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry at Champ right as he touched the treasure with his paws.

In an instant, lasers that were invisible to the naked eye made themselves known and sprung all around the area Morgana was in!

“MEEEOOOOWWWW!” Morgana screamed, flailing about as he was burned from all sides. Even the rope got cut.

He fell and bashed his chin against the treasure chest landing directly into the other red lasers littering the floor.

“YEEEEOOOOOCHIIIEEE!” He screamed, shooting up, rubbing his butt, and zooming to the safe part of the carpet within this highly fortified museum.

He panted with his hands on his knees before hearing the alarms go off. Everyone was coated in flashing red lights now.

“Hmph! Don’t think this means I trust–!” Morgana pointed at Champ but the instant he made another move his clothes poofed into a cloud of dust, having been demolished by the lasers.

Morgana stood there pointing with his eyes wide and a blush shining on his face, now in just his DuckTales themed underoos.

“Oooh! Nice undies!” Skull laughed, suddenly finding his time here to be much better. “A fan of Scrooge McDuck are we?”

Morgana’s eye twitched and he began sweating.

Being humiliated was one thing but being humiliated in front of Ryuji? It made him want to piss where he stood.

The alarms were blaring at this point though. There was no point in making a fuss over it. They needed to escape now! This job was a bust!

“This way! We’ve gotta go!” Morgana shouted, pointing to the vent they entered through.

“No! That way has been sealed up by more lasers!” Champ said back. “Going through the front two doors will be better! It’s more spacious so you can dodge the lasers more easily!”

The others heard the advice and looked between one another frantically. It didn’t take long before they all nodded in agreement and rushed towards the doors.

Morgana was flabbergasted. His jaw dropped with astonishment before he snarled with anger.

“No way are you paying attention to him over me! Look! I’ll SHOW you!” Morgana rushed up the side of the wall and plucked off the vent. “See?! It’s FIEEEEEEEEK~!”

A large torrent of lasers bounced around inside there before shooting out towards him!

Morgana fell backwards and slammed on the floor, eyes crossing on impact due to the unexpected pain.

He then leapt to his feet and screamed as shadows began to form all around him.

The room was a massive danger zone and they were firing lasers and eye beams at him from all sides!

“JOKER! PANTHER! SKULL! HELP!” Morgana screamed as he ran down the hallway. The others had raced on ahead, having elected to ignore his nonsense.

That left him rushing as fast as his little stubby cat legs could take him. He was making a cartoonish Sonic the Hedgehog swirl underneath him as he ran. He almost generated fire on his feet.

Actual fire was generated on his butt when one of the lasers blasted him there!

“MEEEOWWWWW!” He screamed and shot through the air, smashing his face against the glass doors so hard that he burst through them and bounced hard on the concrete.

His face ate the street and his butt got the fire on it smothered when he rolled around on the ground.

He came to a stop and panted roughly, rolling over onto his back while splayed out.

His eyes were spinning and his tongue was out. He was panting more like a dog rather than a cat. It also didn’t help that he was down to his briefs. It looked so stupid.

He probably shouldn’t have been surprised to hear laughter behind him.

He blushed and scrambled to his feet before looking over at the commotion.

“Funny landing Mona! You make great fireworks!” Skull teased, hand to his mouth as he pointed at the increasingly embarrassed cat.

“That was a close one though,” Queen stated before facing Champ. “You sure know your stuff. Maybe we oughta pick your brain a little more so that we can try this again but a bit more succinctly.”

“No! No way!” Morgana shouted. “I refuse to listen to–!”

“Yay! Great idea!” Panther interrupted with a fist pump and a peppy cheer. “It’s always nice having new allies to look to for help!”

“L-Lady Ann…?!” Morgana twitched again. Skull just started laughing again.

Mona snorted and puffed out his cheeks, facing the blonde haired menace. “WHAT is so FUNNY huh?!”

“You!” Skull said, holding his stomach. “Oh yeah, I think you may have gotten a bit too scared on your way out.” He smiled, pointing down at Morgana’s crotch.

“What are you–?! GUH?!” Morgana’s eyes widened as he saw his undies dripping with a wetness he hadn’t spotted before.

He’d wet himself in fright back there.

With another heavy blush he clamped his mouth shut and put his paws in between his legs, ears drooping down.

“O-Okay… w-we’re done for today. L-Let’s g-gooo!” He said, turning and swishing around like a weirdo back towards the exit.

Skull had just had the best day of going on missions ever. It wasn’t a coincidence that it coincided with Morgana’s worst.

Champ saw Morgana rush off and smiled to himself though.

He had a feeling things were about to get interesting.