Another stab at Twenty Palaces

Regular followers of my social media will know that last August I made an attempt to continue the Twenty Palaces series as a self-published novella. Other authors have made a go at this, and I'd hoped I could continue the series while also writing novels that were more marketable. 

But, after nearly 8,000 words, I had to put it aside. It was going nowhere and felt dead on the page. 

I don't have to describe what I mean by that, do I? The prose felt boring and uninspired, and when notes came back from my agent on that first draft of ONE MAN, I was sorry and relieved to drop it. 

I couldn't expect reader to be glad I was about to publish a shitty Twenty Palaces story. 

Well, as of today, Monday, ONE MAN is resting comfortably in the inboxes of several editors, and I am free once again to tackle new work. And the work I want to tackle is THE TWISTED PATH. 

As it turns out, the way to make sure that prose isn't dead on the page is to put some oomph into the voice. 

Here's the new opening to my upcoming 20P novella, and keep in mind that this is a very rough draft. 

There’s a guy out there with the same name as me, and he’s a real asshole. He’s broken into houses, punched people in the face, burned down buildings and killed people. He’s killed a lot of people.

Every time a cop runs my ID, the asshole’s name pops up, and I end up looking down the barrel of a gun until it all gets straightened out. Then it’s all Sorry Mr. Lilly, but I’m sure you understand. And I do. I really do. The guy they confuse me with has done terrible shit.

Then they look me over one more time, and they look over my boss, with her tattoos and shitty clothes. Finally, they shake their heads and walk away. 

So far, none of them have pulled the trigger. So far. 

But if someone does, finally, put a bullet into my brain, I can’t say I’d be all that upset. That asshole who’s done all those shitty things is me. 

My name is Raymond Lilly, and I’m on the twisted path. 

Some of that will change, obviously, but I'm restarting from that point and I feel better about this draft. 

Anyway, I started this Patreon last summer because my rent went up. Well, it just went up again, although by a smaller amount this time. We're still well below the average for Seattle, but I'm grateful to all of you for your help.