Tumblr.

Since everything that happened with tumblr, I have been feeling a little discouraged. 

Tumblr is where I became kingcholera. Most of my followers are there, and I have definitely noticed how much it has changed since the NSFW ban. I keep telling myself that there are still people around though, including all of you. I can't begin to tell you how much it means, especially right now, to have the encouragement, enthusiasm and feedback. Thank you. 

But now I'm trying to pick myself back up like I always do, because this definitely isn't the first time. If you remember my anime debate post, you know that a decade ago I went from drawing after anime to trying to paint like my best friend, who did realism. In the middle of that transition between styles I became interested in becoming a concept artist for video games, and I learned about this technique called photobashing. Here is the definition:

' Photobashing is a technique where artists merge & blend photographs or 3D assets together while painting and compositing them into one finished piece. This is used by concept artists to speed up their workflow and achieve a realistic style.' 

Now there is nothing wrong with photobashing itself, I want to make that very clear, and it is a legitimate tool in the industry. I wasn't a concept artist under time constraints though and there was this guilt associated with it, because I didn't know where my skill ended and the photos began. I could draw well enough without it, but it was nowhere near the same and I lost who I was as an artist. I knew I had to make a change, and it was around then that I fell in love with the Old Masters. I told myself I was going to try to learn realism similar to how they did, and I knew it was going to be incredibly challenging.


So in 2013 that I made my tumblr, and this is how all of you came to know me. I was practicing for hours every day, and with each new piece I posted I found an audience and my own style. There was no more guilt. One of my proudest moments was coming back to photobashing last year just to make reference of my character's faces and then being able to recreate them all by myself. I did it just to prove how far I've come, that all my studying and hard work was paying off. If people think I still photobash, well...I can't take that as anything other than a compliment now. That's part of why I always show my WIPs too, awkward proportions and all. I want to be an open book, and it also reminds me how much there is left for me to learn.

Someone is probably wondering why I never brought this up until now? Honestly it just never came up, and if it ever does, this post will be here. 30 year old me is not exactly proud of being too young and impatient, but I used to be ashamed of it, and I erased a lot of drawings and paintings I wish I had saved.

That chapter of my life has been closed for a long time, and it feels like I'm closing a chapter on tumblr too. However, I'm stubborn and hate giving up, so this setback is only temporary. It just means I have to rearrange my plans, put some things on hold, like the 'value, color and light' lessons until I figure out what the next chapter in my career is going to be. I am going to stay optimistic and say that the next one will be even better than the rest.