"Texting with... Kessie" pt. 1

Kessie: Yo! What’s up driver?

You: Hey, Kessie. Need a pick-up?

Kessie: Nah. I’m just hoping to pick your brain a bit

You: Need some advice on something?

Kessie: You got a way of making time pass quicker? I got stuck with the long shift at the pizza joint

Kessie: I got bored

You: Not a lot of orders?

Kessie: Our customer base is more or less just potheads who got the munchies

You: You mean like yourself?

Kessie: Touché

Kessie: But I need a distraction. These days my schedule revolves between working for minimum wage and masturbating. You’ve been the most interesting shit to happen to me in months

You: Seriously?

Kessie: Not all of us can lead a life as interesting as u pal

Kessie: Seriously you need to start a blog or something

Kessie: I mean dont u ever wanna brag about all the pussy youre getting?

You: I don’t feel a need to go around telling people about the women I’ve slept with, no.

Kessie: Lame

You: So you haven’t been up to anything as of late? No hobbies?

Kessie: Does watching porn count?

You: I’m gonna say no

Kessie: Fuck

Kessie: I mean, I have been working on my drawing a bit. But Im still crap at it

You: I’ve noticed artists who suck tend to think they’re Michelangelo reborn, and the good ones can’t say a single good thing about their work.

Kessie: Then I guess I belong to a hitherto undiscovered third category

Kessie: Not like I’m doing anything original. Mostly been drawing characters from XXX. The art direction was a goddamn spectacle

You: I can’t say I’m familiar with that show.

Kessie: Dude was ur childhood lived under a fucking rock?!

Kessie: That show was my JAM growing up. And the animators were all pervs because holy shit the women on that show were fucking sexy!

Kessie: Like here’s Akacia. She’s kinda the hero’s rival/lover who he can’t manage to bring over to the good side but he also can’t bring himself to arrest her because of unresolved feelings for her

You: Sounds complicated.

Kessie: It is! But it makes for such good TV

Kessie: Been thinking of sketching her, but I dont know which version to draw

You: How many are there?

Kessie: Two. Youve got her classic villainess outfit which is all cleavage and has a naughty aspect. The kinda thing you love to see. Honestly I feel certain elements of her color scheme needed work but thats neither here not there

Kessie: And then youve her quote-unquote good guy outfit she wore when she teamed up with the hero on this three part-episode. Bit more reserved but she knew looked so fucking good in it

Kessie: Idk. Which do you feel is better?