Backyard Dungeon 7 Chapter 1

Two days had passed since that magical night in the Dwarven Baths. My four wives and I felt closer than ever, and we’d spent the last couple of days in domestic bliss. Ibseth fussed over all of us as her baby slowly became more obvious. Amrila slept in and ran sword drills in the big backyard. Bolra started to settle in and find her place with the others. And Nileme started to work on converting her basement into the workspace and storage for her gun collection.

As the sun came in through Nileme’s bedroom window, I got up out of bed and went over to the dresser. I had started to keep a few clothes in each of my wives’ houses. I didn’t have a lot of clothes, so my things were spread out pretty thin. Maybe it was about time for me to get some new clothes anyway. Most of what I had was still from college.

“Mmmm,” I heard my Dolrath wife breathe behind me as I changed my boxers. “I will never get tired of waking up to that sight.”

I looked around and saw the dark-haired woman on the bed, propped up on one elbow and unselfconscious as the sheet slipped down her full, perfect breasts.

“Pretty happy about my view, too.” I grinned as I pulled on a clean shirt. “Do you want to do breakfast here? Or go over to Ibseth’s place?”

“We should go over to Ibseth’s,” Nileme replied as she pulled the covers off her muscular body and walked up to me in nothing but white, cotton panites. “Since the Tinors are moving out today, she’ll be sad. I think it will be good to all be together.”

“That’s a really good point.” I nodded and then put my arms around her tight waist as she pressed her bare breast against me. “Shame you have to get dressed, though.”

“Next time, we’ll eat here, naked as the day we were born,” the dark-haired Elf giggled.

“I like the sound of that,” I snorted.

Once we finally managed to get dressed, the two of us went through a gate I’d made in the fence between Nileme’s yard and the big yard behind the trailer and Ibseth’s place.

Nileme went on into the big house, dressed in tight, boot cut jeans and a heavy flannel over a little white crop top, while I stopped to feed my dogs. Growler and Dread looked much better than when I’d first rescued them. They were both about three feet tall on all fours and probably weighed over a hundred pounds each. I filled their food and water bowls, and then I stopped to throw their favorite stick a couple of times before I went in for breakfast.

As I stepped into the kitchen, the smell of fresh coffee and fried ham filled the air. Ibseth had on an adorable sweatshirt with big, pink and blue roses printed on it, and it showed off her large breasts and baby bump. The skinny jeans my first wife wore also hugged her round hips and cupped her supple ass as she placed plates of food on the table.

I was surprised to see Amrila was already up in torn jeans and a long sleeve, black band shirt that had been cut into a crop top. I figured she was excited about getting her own house today and had gotten up bright and early.

Lastly, Bolra was dressed in high waisted jeans, a tiny powder blue tank top, and a cozy cardigan.

I grabbed some coffee and sat down at the table.

“I can’t believe Jack and Ertha are moving already,” Ibseth said in a wistful tone as she passed me a plate of eggs, fried ham, and buttered toast. “It feels like you only just made the offer to buy their house.”

“Time went by pretty fast,” I agreed. “We should hurry up and eat. I think Jack said he’d pick up the U-Haul around nine, and I promised to help him load in the heavy stuff.”

“With his bad back, he shouldn't be lifting anything.” The white-haired Elf shook her head.

“I can help, too,” Nileme offered. “Maybe between Eddie and I, we can keep the old man from hurting himself.”

“Ibseth and I promised to help Ertha pack the last few thing up as well,” Bolra mentioned as she sipped her coffee. “I really like Ertha. I wish I could have gotten more time to know her.”

Jack Tinor was a retired police officer, but his wife, Ertha, was arty and had a strong hippy vibe to her. I was kinda sorry to see them go, too. They were some of our closest friends in the cul-de-sac. But I was still happy that Jack had sold me his house. And once Lucy McMillian’s place was out of escrow, each of my wives would have their own place, and I could make my grandpa’s old trailer the mancave of my dreams.

After we all ate, the five of us headed over to help the Tinor’s load up their moving van.

“I noticed you were quiet at breakfast,” I said quietly as I walked next to Amrila. “You okay?”

“I’m bubbling over with joy,” the Zencarri woman confessed with a sly smile. “I get my own house today. But I didn’t want to gush in front of Ibseth when her friend is leaving.”

“Good thinking,” I snorted. “But I’m sure Ibseth is just as happy for you. But maybe give it a day before you ask her to help you put together a Pinterest board to decorate.”

“It’s already done,” Amrila replied with that greedy little glint in her dark eyes. “It’s going to be dark and luxurious and sexy. I can’t wait.”

As we walked up to the small house across the cul-de-sac, I looked at the brick, mid-century home. It was only one story, but it had two bedrooms and a full, finished basement. Jack and Ertha kept it nice, and I wouldn’t have to worry about water damage or mold. The roof had even been replaced two years ago.

Ertha had already packed up her lawn ornaments, and the front of the house looked bare without all of the iridescent, glass balls, wind chimes, and bird feeders. The stunning, older hippy woman stood on her porch as she looked up at the sky and sipped some tea from a travel mug with a huge mandala on the side, and then she smiled at my wives and I as we came up to the porch.

“Hey, Mrs. Tinor,” I said in a respectful tone. “How’s the morning treating you?”

“It’s just Ertha, my dear,” the older woman laughed lightly. “And I’m all at sixes and sevens today. Mercury is in retrograde.”

“Really?” I nodded as if I knew what any of that meant. “Well, hopefully the morning improves with our help. Did Jack go to get the moving van already?”

“He did indeed,” Ertha said. “But he should be back any moment. Come inside. Eddie, you can plan how to get the big things in the van. My Jacky will try to do the heavy end of everything. But maybe you can convince him to just direct you and Nileme around corners. He loves to be in charge, and he can’t hurt his back if he’s just giving orders.”

The ladies followed Ertha into the house to help finish up the packing, but just then Jack pulled into the cul-de-sac.

I turned and walked toward the driveway as the retired officer backed the Uhaul into the drive and got out the truck. The older man had on dad jeans, a long sleeve Carhartt shirt, and a padded vest.

“Hey, Jack.” I smiled as I walked up. “Hope mercury doesn’t have you messed up today.”

“Nah,” Tinor chuckled as he shook his head. “That’s more the wife’s thing. Personally, I don’t see how a giant rock millions of miles away can make much difference in my day to day.”

“Me either,” I snorted. “But I’m sure you’re ready for some dry, warm weather.”

“Don’t you know it, son.” Jack nodded. “I can’t thank you enough for buying the old place. I wasn’t looking forward to dragging these old bones of mine through another cold, wet winter.”

“I’m getting a house out of it.” I grinned. “So it’s not like I’m losing anything.”

“I’m serious, Eddie,” the old man insisted. “You’re a rare man. Take care of your neighbors. You care about others. Not a lot of people like that around anymore.”

“Thank you, Jack,” I replied, but I was a little embarrassed by the kind words. “Just the way I was raised, I guess. But we should get inside, so you can show me how you want to arrange things in the van. Nileme and I can get things on the truck while you direct us on which items should go in first.”

“Nileme,” Tinor repeated with a thoughtful expression. “Is that the taller fit girl with arms like a prize fighter?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I think she played a lot of sports in school. Likes to keep in shape.”

“I’d say,” the old man chuckled again with a sly smile. “Looks like she would crack a watermelon with them thighs. Hell of a looker, though.”

Tinor gave me a knowing wink but didn’t press the topic any further.

There weren’t a lot of secrets in a cul de sac, I guess. But I suspected it was enough for Jack to let me know that he knew what was up. He’d been a detective after all, and I was sure he’d observed more than enough to know the ladies and I were more than just friends. But I didn’t get the impression he cared.

Mr. Tinor took Nileme and I through the house as he decided what would go on the truck first, and thankfully, it wasn’t hard to keep Jack from physical labor. As I picked up one end of the mattress in the master bedroom, all wrapped in plastic for the move, Nileme grabbed the other end before Tinor could get there.

“Could you guide us through the hall?” I asked Jack as I craned my head around one side of the memory foam. “It's a little hard to see.”

“Oh,” Tinor replied as he looked at the mattress. “I was going to-- uh-- sure. Just come straight back through the door and then try to angle left.”

And just like that, Nileme and I carried all the furniture to the Uhaul and loaded it in as Jack guided us with brief, practical instructions.

The Tinors had a lifetime worth of things in the house, but Jack was the world’s most organized packer/mover, and we got everything loaded quicker than I would have thought possible. With all the big items securely packed into the moving van, everyone pitched in to load up the smaller boxes and whatnot before Jack pulled down the back gate of the truck. Then Bolra and Ibseth helped Ertha pack some suitcases into the Tinors’ car that the old woman was going to drive behind the van.

“I’m going to miss you girls,” Ertha said in a warm, maternal voice as she hugged my wives. “All of my new neighbors are going to feel boring compared to you.”

“I will miss you too, Ertha.” Ibseth smiled. “You will have to send me pictures of your new home in Bisbee.”

“Thanks again, Eddie.” Jack grinned as he shook my hand. “And if you’re ever in Arizona, know that we’d be happy to have you. And if Brock keeps harassing you, you let me know. I’ll put in a call to my friends on the force in town.”

“Thanks, Jack.” I smiled back as we shook hands. “I’ll keep that in mind. You two have a safe drive out.”

With a few more goodbyes, the older couple got into their vehicles and slowly pulled out of the cul-de-sac.

“Come on, sister,” Bolra said in a soft voice to the petite Elven woman. “Let’s have some tea.”

“I’d like that,” Ibseth sighed and looked a little sad.

“I’ll see you at home in a bit.” I smiled as I kissed Ibseth on the forehead. “I’m going to walk around the place with Amrila and make some plans. But maybe we can all go out for a bit later.”

“You are the best husband a woman could ask for,” the white-haired woman said, and she rose up on her tiptoes to press her own kiss against my cheek. Then she turned to Amrila and smiled a genuine smile. “It is a lovely house, sister. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you!” Amrila couldn’t stop grinning.

With that, Bolra and Ibseth crossed the cul-de-sac arm in arm and headed for the big house, while Amrila, Nileme, and I walked into the newest house and looked around.

It was a nice, cozy ranch style house. We entered the living room, and a big archway led into the kitchen/dining room. On the right, a hallway led down a hall where there were two decent sized bedrooms and a full bath. All the walls were painted a subtle off-white, and there was wall to wall, cream-colored berber carpets.

“It’s like stepping into an egg,” Amrila commented as she looked around. “A giant, boring egg.”

“At least Jack patched up all the holes in the wall for us,” I said as I counted the small, white plaster spots on the walls. “That was nice of him.”

“What color do you want the walls to be?” Nileme asked. “I sorta like the white. It feels clean and open.”

“Clean and open is fine.” The Zencarri woman shrugged as she walked around the open floor space. “But I want something more sensual. Would red walls be too much?”

Oh God, no.

“That does sound like a lot,” I snorted. “Bright red would look like blood, and dark red would make it feel like a cave in here.”

“I just don’t want it to be boring.” Amrila grinned.

“What about a soft gray for the walls?” I asked as I thought back to the color theory I’d learned in art school. “Then you could have a black, or dark gray carpet, and add color with your furniture and some accent pieces. It’ll give you a fairly neutral base to build off without being so stark.”

“I kinda like that,” the red-skinned woman hummed and thoughtfully tapped her lips. “And lots of soft, luxurious fabrics.”

“I like the sound of that.” I smirked, and my feisty wife shot me a wink.

Then we walked around the rest of the house as we talked about what my Zencarri wife wanted.

In the kitchen, there was a set of stairs that led into the basement, with a wrought iron guardrail around it for safety. The three of us went down and looked around at the finished basement. There wasn’t a lot of natural light from the well windows, but it still had a nice feel to it. There was a laundry room on the right, plus a small utility room where the furnace and water heater were kept.

To the left, there were two rooms that could be used for anything really. One had a lot of built-in shelves, and I guessed it was either a craft room or a pantry of some kind. The other room could easily be used as a bedroom, or a rec room, and had a small half bath off the side of it.

“What do you want to do down here?” I asked Amrila as we stood in the large, bare room. “It could be anything really.”

“I think I’ll use it as a sort of small armory,” Amrila replied. “I could get a form to place my armor on. Some brackets on the walls for swords, daggers, and my rifle. Perhaps a cabinet where I can keep my whetstones and--”

The red-skinned woman’s thoughts were interrupted as the doorbell rang.

“Who could that be?” Nileme asked with a confused look as she glanced toward the stairs.

“Fuck if I know,” Amrila muttered as she turned and went up stairs with me behind her.

My wives and I went back into the living room, and the horned woman checked the peep hole before she opened the door.

Tanya Daniels was on the other side with a store-bought pie and a bottle of wine in her hands, and the waitress looked a little awkward as she saw Nileme and me behind Amrila.

“Oh, hi,” Tanya said with a shy smile. “I just wanted to bring these over as a housewarming gift, since we’re going to be nextdoor neighbors now.”

“Thank you.” The red-skinned woman blinked and was clearly caught off guard as she took the pie and the wine. “I’m still getting used to hu-- uh, American customs. Am I supposed to give you something in return?”

“Oh, gosh.” The waitress blushed and shook her head. “No. I’m just trying to be neighborly. But, you know, if you’re ever bored or anything, maybe we could hang out sometime.”

“Sure,” Amrila replied as she looked at the pie with a mildly suspicious expression. “We can hang out. But nothing girly. No shopping trips or getting our nails done.”

“R-Really?” Tanya asked as her face lit up a little. “That’d be great. Sometimes the bar I work at hosts amature wrestling. Maybe we could go to that?”

“Wrestling.” The horned woman grinned. “I like the sound of that. Very well.”

“Okay.” The bleach blonde woman grinned back. “I’ll let you know when the next match happens. Talk to you later.”

“Good bye,” Amrila said as Tanya stepped off the small front porch, and then my wife closed the door.

“Looks like you made a friend,” I snorted.

“She did bring me booze.” The Zencarri woman smiled as she looked at the wine in her hands. “So she’s off to a strong start.”

“Come on,” I laughed. “Let’s get some showers and go find you some furniture in the city.”

After we all had a chance to get cleaned up, my wives and I got into the Rubicon and headed up to our favorite furniture store in Elyria.

I’d been there a few times before, and because of my extraordinary wives, we were instantly recognized by the sales staff. Three different sales people rushed toward us when we entered, but a younger man shamelessly broke out into an all out run to get to us first. The two older women who’d also seen us cursed him under their breath and gave him dirty looks across the sales floor.

“How can I help you, Mr. Hill?” the salesman asked as he all but skidded to a stop in front of me.

The guy was probably a few years older than me and had short, light brown hair. His name tag said “Cliff,” and he had the energy of a motivational YouTuber.

“Actually--” I started to reply as I looked over at Amrila, but my feisty Zencarri wife was more than ready to speak for herself.

“I’m here to furnish my new home,” Amrila said in a proud voice.

And that was kinda true.

Travis Meyer had set up accounts for all my wives and made it look as though they worked for a shell company funded by my money. The furniture would technically come out of Amrila’s account for tax reasons, and Amrila had definitely earned that money after fighting alongside me in The Gloom.

“Yes, ma’am.” Cliff grinned and winked. “I like a woman who knows what she wants.”

“Wink at me again, and I’ll poke out your eye,” Amrila replied with an arched eyebrow. “But you may show me to your most lavish couches. I want to feel as though I am sitting on a cloud.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am,” the salesman stuttered with a touch of fear and respect in his voice. “They’re over here.”

Poor Cliff showed Amrila and I around the sales floor as my other wives helped Bolra get ideas for her house, once it was out of escrow.

“This is one of our more popular models,” the salesman said as he gestured to a dark gray, overstuffed couch with built in recliners. “It has cup holders and a compartment for your remo--”

“No.” Amrila shook her head and thoughtfully placed her hand on her chin. “I want something… sexier.”

I could have busted a rib as I tried not to laugh at the clerk’s expression.

Cliff’s eyes went wide, and he looked to me for help, but all I could do was shrug.

“O-Okay,” the brown-haired man stammered. “W-We have some leather living room sets. Would that be more what you had in mind?”

“No.” Amrila shook her head again after a pause and looked at me. “I want something my ass won’t stick to where I’m not wearing pants. That just sounds uncomfortable.”

“What about something plush?” I offered as I tried to help Cliff out. “Like velour or something?”

“Yes, of course.” The salesman nodded with a grateful expression. “Right over here.”

Eventually, Amrila picked out a really nice, red sofa upholstered in fabric that looked like crushed velvet and had clawed, black lacquer feet, and as we went through the rest of the store, that red sofa informed the rest of my Zencarri wife’s choices. All of the furniture she picked out had a modern gothic feel. Mostly black and dark gray, with bold pops of red, but Cliff and I did have to talk pretty fast to convince the horned woman not to buy a king size waterbed.

“But it’s so comfy,” Amrila said in a stubborn tone as she crossed her arms.

“I’m not arguing that, partner,” I snorted. “But think about it. If the mattress springs a leak in the middle of the night, and we wake up all wet and have to take care of it right then, before there’s water damage?”

“It’s the only furniture we sell that comes with an insurance plan,” Cliff added. “Not a warranty, but insurance to cover damages if that happens.”

“But wouldn’t it be fun?” Amrila pouted as she looked at me with a suggestive expression.

“Probably,” I agreed as I started to blush a little, since the salesman was right next to me. “But I think we can have fun without buying flood insurance.”

“Maybe you’re right,” the red-skinned woman finally sighed. “What else do you have, Cliff?”

Amirla shopped around for a while longer, but eventually we paid for the furniture and set up a delivery for a few days from then.

Then my wives and I spent the rest of the day just enjoying the city, and we shopped and ate dinner at a small arcade and restaurant. When we got home, we were all pretty worn out, and I climbed into bed with Ibseth. Even though she was my first wife, I hadn’t lost my sense of wonder when I was around her. We were still like teenagers together, and her being pregnant had only made the curvy Elf more amorous.

Despite how long the day had been, we still had enough energy left in us to fool around, and after we’d satisfied our desire for each other a couple of times, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next day, our family ate together, like usual, and then we walked over to the new house. I took some measurement to get an idea of how much paint we would need, and we went to a big box hardware store and got all the supplies we needed. Amrila picked out the carpet she wanted and selected new tile for the kitchen and upstairs bath, and I even paid a little extra for a rush order of carpet installation.

Since the house was in my name, and Amrila was renting it on paper, I figured I could maybe have Meyer write off the remodeling bill at the end of the year.

Over the next couple of days, everyone pitched in to help get the new house ready ahead of the furniture delivery, and I had to admit, it looked really good. The dove gray on the walls, with the deep pile black carpet, gave the whole place a kind of sophistication, but it still looked edgy.

Then the furniture was finally delivered, and as the workmen unloaded items from the truck, my Zencarri wife directed them where everything should go. Meanwhile, I stood out on the curb and looked around at the fall foliage in the neighborhood. It was October now, and Halloween was around the corner.

And I couldn’t wait.

I’d already started to think about putting up lawn displays and jack-o-lanterns. It was my favorite holiday, and nothing could ruin it.

“You little shit!” I suddenly heard Brock Stanton snarl behind me.

I guess there was one thing that could ruin it.

“Morning, Brock,” I sighed as I turned to face my dickhead neighbor.

“You fucking bought the McMillian place?” the bull-necked man fumed. “What the hell are you playing at?

“It’s none of your business, Stanton,” I snapped back, since I was tired of the prick’s bullying. “Calm down and get off my lawn.”

“Fuck you!” Brock shouted and abruptly swung a meaty fist at my head.

I ducked, and something in me broke.

I was about to kick Brock’s ass.