Arena Road 2 Chapter 2

I parked on the curb near the pawn shop. As I stepped out of the car and strolled down the sidewalk with Indy and Ellie at my sides, I felt like the pearly gray sky was bright and promising instead of dull and gloomy. Even the dead ostrich in the window display of the creepy taxidermy shop looked less eerie than usual as we passed.

The bell on the door of the Screaming Goose pawn shop tinkled lightly when we walked in. I immediately spotted Nick hunched over the jewelry counter beside Vero. Unlike Nick’s shaggy, untamed mop of dark hair, the appraiser’s slicked back, helmet-like bronze hair stayed perfectly in place without even a strand escaping to fall down over his face as he bent over whatever he was doing on the counter.

It seemed like the sound of the bell took several moments to penetrate Nick’s consciousness, but once it did, he abruptly straightened up to see who had come in.

When he spotted me, his sharp green eyes brightened, and he sprang out from his place behind the jewelry counter.

“Hey, Johnny B—” He paused with a look of mock-terror at my unamused expression, and then amended himself. “Uhh… Bossman. Johnny Bossman.”

“That’s me,” I said dryly. Then I gestured at the two women who hung back slightly behind me. “Nick, you’ve met Indy… and this is Ellie. Ellie, meet Nick.”

The dainty warrior shrank slightly further behind me, but she gave a shy little wave at Nick, who looked as shocked as if Damian Lillard had just burst in the front door on horseback to ride around his pawn shop.

My friend’s eyes glazed over slightly, and his stare followed the two women until they disappeared into the same aisle where I’d found them playing the Twister-Jumanji game last time we’d been here.

Then he looked back at me with an expression of dumbfounded respect. “Nice.”

“Thanks.” I smirked and returned his clap on the shoulder before I glanced back at where Vero was hard at work behind the jewelry counter. “Uhh, dude... Just out of curiosity… are those dentures?”

“Hmm?” Nick swiveled his head around to look at Vero like he had forgotten his employee was even there. “Oh, yeah. This hundred-year-old lady paid us like thirty grand to bedazzle her dentures, and now she wants her sister’s done, too. Talk of the town, apparently. Or the retirement home, at least.”

As I watched, I finally realized that was exactly what Vero was doing.  He seemed entirely focused as he used a pair of tweezers to carefully squeeze another tiny jewel into place on one of the fake teeth.

“Only you,” I muttered, and I felt a mixture of disbelief and respect at what I was pretty sure was only a tiny tip of the iceberg with my friend’s shenanigans.

“Yeah, you know me.” Nick shrugged, and a familiar cheeky grin overtook his face. Then he strolled over to lean against the other side of the jewelry counter and rolled up the sleeves of his rumpled dress shirt. “Speaking of oddly specific business ventures, I have an idea for getting you your shipment. Well… several ideas, actually.”

“Alright.” I followed him over and stood with my arms crossed. “Hit me with the one that’s least batshit first, Wile E. Coyote.”

Nick let out a deep, dramatic sigh of disappointment. “If you say so. Okay, well… First of all, you don’t have to load your own shit, correct?”

“Into my trailer, you mean?” I snorted. “No. I’m not even allowed to lay a finger on it, actually. Company policy.”

“Good.” My friend rubbed his hands together, and he had a faintly wolfish expression on his face, like I had just set a juicy steak down in front of him. “And you said your boss hates you, yes?”

I grimaced. “Yep. Making my life as difficult as possible is his favorite hobby.”

“Mm,” my friend muttered sympathetically. “Sounds like a total fucktrumpet. Luckily, I just so happen to own the creepy taxidermy shop next door. Sort of.”

“What do you mean, ‘sort of?’” I asked with slight suspicion.

“I run it through a holding company in New Mexico.” Nick waved one hand in a vague and careless gesture. “And that company is registered through my lawyer’s firm. So it’s more, uh… anonymous for me, as a business owner.”

“Right.” I laughed and shook my head. “Of course.”

“Gotta keep my reputation squeaky clean,” my friend said with an innocent smile. “And this holding company of mine owns more taxidermy shops in Eastern Washington, so…”

I ignored the puppeteering motions he was doing with his hands as I stared at him with curiosity. “Why the hell is Eastern Washington so interested in taxidermy?”

“Waterfowl.” He shrugged, as if that explained everything. “Anyway, I’ll make sure your boss is told that the load will smell like complete ass, so—”

“Will it smell like complete ass?” I asked pointedly as I thought of the taxidermy shop’s stench.

“It’ll smell like dead birds,” Nick said with a small smirk. “But assuming the load is assigned to you, I’ll make sure the packaging is done right. You won’t smell a thing in that old truck of yours.”

I rubbed my jaw as I mulled this over. “And what’s the worst case scenario here? I mean, is there any chance of Marsh finding out it’s me orchestrating this through your business?”

“None,” my friend said without hesitation. “The only people who know that are in this room. As far as anyone else is concerned, the request will come from Deadhead Boutique.”

He gestured at the door behind the jewelry counter that led to the creepy taxidermy shop as he spoke the last words.

I laughed again. “Charming.”

“If all goes well, you’ll be delivering your load to Party Fowl Taxidermy Studio,” Nick added. Then he continued in a drawn-out voice. “You’ll have a…”

“Don’t say it,” I groaned as I realized he was going to hit me with a cheesy pun.

“Duckload of ducks,” he finished in a loud voice.

I rolled my eyes dramatically before I punched my friend affectionately on the shoulder. “Thanks, dude. Seriously.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he said in a voice that sounded equal parts sincere and rueful. “You should’ve heard all the other plans I had cooked up, oh man…”

“Soon, Dr. Evil,” I laughed. “But first…”

I reached into my jacket to slowly pull out my pouch of jewels as I strolled over to the velvet mat on the jewelry counter.

Then I stopped and turned to look at my friend again. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m having you orchestrate all of this?”

“Nope,” he replied promptly. When I raised my eyebrows, he just shrugged. “You haven’t asked me to do anything highly illegal or risky, so unless you’re in a sharing mood, then… none of my business, Johnny boy. It’s about time some good shit came your way. Especially since a chunk of that good shit is coming my way, too.”

“Touching,” I snorted in response to the last statement, but I could still recognize the note of sincerity in the rest of my friend’s words. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nick smiled but then slipped into his back-to-business tone. “Now, let’s take a look at those jewels. Vero…?”

After a moment, the bronze-haired appraiser popped up like a jack-in-the-box from where he’d knelt down to arrange the finished dentures in the glass display case, where I assumed they were placed to attract the attention of any aging customers until the lady who had requested them stopped by to pick them up.

His eyes lit up at the sight of the gems I was carefully pouring out onto the velvet mat.

“Excellent,” he murmured, and he approached the jewels with such reverence that I was tempted to ask him if he wanted some time alone with them.

I tucked the pouch into my pocket after I had finished emptying it and then glanced at my phone to see the time.

When I saw that it was four o’clock, I sighed. “Oh, damn.”

“Places to go?” Nick waggled his eyebrows and glanced at the aisle that my two warrior women had disappeared into. I narrowed my eyes at him, and my friend plastered an expression of utmost innocence on his face. “Just asking.”

“Sure,” I muttered, and I gave him a mock-threatening scowl. “Just remember who’s putting this money in your pocket, bucko.”

Nick’s sharp green eyes lingered on the jewels that Vero was poking and prodding around under the microscope now. I could tell that this sentiment was warring with his impulse to launch into a string of vulgar jokes.

Finally he nodded. “Whatever you say, Mr. Bossman.”

A small laugh escaped me as I waved goodbye to my friend and then strode over to see what Indy and Ellie were up to.

To my amazement, the first thing I saw when I turned the corner of the aisle was my princess crouched precariously on one of the higher shelves. She was clinging onto its edge with one hand to keep her balance while she stretched her other hand upward to place a top hat at the peak of a towering array of other hats.

There were all different kinds of hats in this tower: A few wide-brimmed straw hats, several French berets, a bowler hat, some visors, four fedoras, and more. I even caught sight of something I thought was an orange hard hat, the kind that normally was worn by a construction worker.

The foundation of the hat-tower was a huge brown cowboy hat, and it was sitting on top of Ellie’s blue-haired head. It was so big that the cap part was almost covering her wide blue eyes, and she was holding her dainty arms out slightly in a way that made her look like a little mannequin as she concentrated on keeping the hats balanced.

The urge to laugh was overwhelming, but I stayed completely still to avoid attracting the two women’s attention while Indy completed her masterpiece.

My princess carefully eased the top hat into place on top of a safari hat that had been the tower’s crowning glory previously. Then she slowly removed her grip from it. When the top hat was clearly going to stay without toppling, Indy’s long fingers reached out to grope around for more hats from the shelves around her.

Then she realized there were none. The top hat must have been the last of them.

“All done, Ellie,” she announced as she clapped her hands together in triumph.

The dainty warrior started to look up at her reflexively but then froze in place as the tower of hats swayed dangerously on her head.

“How many hats?” she asked in an excited tone.

Indy leaned out precariously from the shelf again and craned her neck to see all the hats from top to bottom. I saw her full lips moving silently as she counted.

“Twenty-one hats,” she declared.

I chose this moment to slowly approach, but my movement still caught the princess’ eye, and she wobbled on the shelf as she almost lost her grip. “John!”

“Princess,” I greeted her, and I managed to keep a completely straight face as I looked the tower of hats up and down. Then I glanced at Ellie. “Were you, uh… planning on wearing these into battle?”

“No, John,” the dainty fighter responded in a slightly nervous voice. “We were just—”

But the rest of her sentence was cut off as the tower of hats started to lean further and further, until finally it was clear there was no rescuing it. Hats started showering to the ground one by one in a series of small, muffled thuds.

It took about half a second for Nick to appear at the end of the aisle. His approach was quick enough for him to catch sight of the last several hats tumbling to the ground, and he skidded to a stop to stare at the scene.

Then his green eyes traveled over to me with an expression that told me he was both completely baffled and working hard to fight off a laugh.

I shrugged with a mixture of apology and amusement, and my friend slowly raised his hands before he backed away around the corner with exaggerated slowness, like he was leaving a dangerous crime scene.

My poker face finally broke when I saw the sad little way Ellie was looking around at the field of fallen hats around her. I joined in as Indy patted her consolingly on the shoulder and then started scooping up hats off the ground with impressive speed.

I helped replace the hats on the shelf, and then I chuckled at the look on Nick’s face when I strode out from the aisle. I didn’t stop to chat this time. Instead, I just gave him another jaunty wave before I left with the two beautiful women at my side.

Other than the fact that it had been hilarious as hell to me, I loved the fact that my two women felt comfortable stacking twenty-one random hats on Ellie’s head in a public place. Even though it seemed like a simple and playful act to me, I realized the two women had probably never been able to play dress-up in their lives, considering the single, well-worn garment that had been their only outfits when I first met them.

I felt amazing all over again when I thought about the fact that I had now outfitted them with new clothes, weapons, and training.

It felt even more amazing to know that this was just the beginning of what I would be able to provide for these two neglected women.

When we were outside it, I glanced up at the store’s vine-covered sign that I hadn’t really paid much attention to before. The words “Hide ‘n’ Seek” were just barely visible peeking out through the leafy plants, and I snorted with laughter as I realized it was a play on words.

“Amazing,” I said under my breath as I held the door open for my two women.

At first the store seemed empty except for the crowd of leather-clad mannequins, but soon I saw a head full of electric-pink curls bobbing around through the white plastic heads, and the familiar worker who I now knew as Abbey appeared.

Her eyes widened as she saw the three of us. “Hey, strangers!”

“Strangers?” Indy asked in a shocked and displeased voice. She tossed her hair haughtily, and I knew her red-gold eyes were flaring underneath my sunglasses.

I stifled a laugh. “It’s just a saying, princ… uhh, Indy. It means we’re the opposite of strangers.”

Indy’s full lips relaxed slightly into a mollified expression, but then I saw her mouth the words “foolish” as she muttered under her breath about Abbey’s choice of words.

The pink-haired leatherworker seemed keen to gloss things over with my proud princess, and she started chattering away as she led us immediately through the sea of mannequins.

“So,” she said over her shoulder as we headed toward the back of the store. “You’re interested in some more reinforced leather armor?”

“Yep,” I confirmed. “I actually wanted to see if we could invest in some custom stuff. I mean, if you do that sort of thing. I’d obviously be willing to pay more for—”

“Of course!” Abbey’s voice was full of excitement. She started walking in slow circles around the two women while she looked over every inch of them in a closer way than before, like she was assessing every little part of their anatomy.

Ellie looked faintly unnerved, and I was pretty sure Indy was, too, but she stood straight and proud as the smaller warrior gravitated closer to her side without realizing it. I recognized the protective stance my princess took on, and it was so adorable that it made me miss Abbey’s next words.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I turned back to the pink-haired leatherworker. “What did you say?”

Abbey waved a hand. “Oh, I was just saying that I’m going to go get a measuring tape. Then we can talk while I…”

Her voice faded away as she bustled through a curtained doorway at the back of the store. It didn’t take long for her to emerge with a measuring tape slung over her shoulder and her arms full of assorted pieces of leather armor.

“Okay,” she said briskly as she dropped the leather unceremoniously in a pile on the floor. “These are just to see if you like any of the general styles more than the ones you already have, as soon as we hammer out some basics. Then we can go into more detail. May I…?”

She cautiously extended her hand that was holding the measuring tape toward the princess. Indy’s head swiveled over toward me, then back to Abbey, and she nodded slowly. I saw her long fingers reach out to subtly pat Ellie’s delicate shoulder.

The two women obediently held different limbs out at intervals while the pink-haired leatherworker carefully assessed every part of their bodies with the tape and jotted numbers down on a notepad after each measurement.

Then Abbey showed us different pieces of leather armor and talked us through every aspect of them in a way that made me once again appreciative of her total lack of smooth, swindling attempts.

“Making something like this custom will allow for even more mobility,” she explained as she held up a piece of leather shoulder armor that was similar to the ones I had bought for Ellie on our last trip here. “Even with the carbon fiber sewed in. The thonging that I weave through the leather segments will follow the shape of the shoulder perfectly when it’s measured.”

I listened carefully as she explained more about the shoulder armor and then followed up with greaves and vambraces.

“So…” I took a moment to think about how to carefully phrase the question I wanted to ask. “With those vambrace things, the ones that cover their forearms… Do you have the kind that, er, protect the hand, too? Or maybe just the knuckles?”

“Like gauntlets?” Abbey’s face brightened. “I’ll be right back.”

She rushed into the back room again and came out with an armful of different styles of leather gauntlets.

I looked them over closely and tapped on the pair that would cover the womens’ forearms and knuckles best while still leaving their fingers free.

One of Indy’s long fingers reached out and joined mine in tapping the leather.

“Strong like Ellie’s boots,” she murmured in approval. “And… many pieces.”

Abbey nodded. “These ones are more like bracers than gauntlets. They’re good for keeping mobility while adding some protection for the knuckles.”

“That’s perfect,” I said. I drummed my fingers against my thigh for a few moments while I thought. “So… In our, uh, larping thing… Indy here fights with a sword in one hand and a chain whip in the other. So if we’re trying to be realistic, she’d need extra flexibility in her whip hand, right?”

“Yep.” The leatherworker’s pink curls bounced as she nodded again. “It would make sense to have a bracer like these– the one with knuckle protection– on her sword hand, and just a vambrace, like she already has, on the other, if that’s what you were thinking. They could both be reinforced with carbon fiber, of course, like you asked.”

I grinned. “That’s exactly what I was thinking. And could there also be carbon fiber reinforcements in the knuckle area specifically?”

“In the knuckles…” Abbey pondered this for a moment. “I haven’t done that before, but it’s definitely possible. My dad rides motorcycles, and he actually has a pair of gloves that have hardened knuckles. I can’t remember if they’re carbon fiber, or like… kevlar. But there are tactical gloves with both, I think. If I take some inspiration from those, I’m sure I can incorporate carbon fiber knuckles into the bracer.”

“That would be perfect.” I had to fight off a smirk as I contemplated Indy backhanding Zenia again, this time with reinforced bracers.

Even though the princess was still wearing my sunglasses, a glance at her face told me she was thinking the exact same thing.

We went over some more details, like getting two bracers for Ellie, and some other adjustments to the new, reinforced armor Abbey would be making for the women.

I had a huge level of appreciation for how thorough and thoughtful the leatherworker was, but when I mentioned this, she just waved a hand airily.

“It’s literally my favorite thing to do,” she assured me. “I love theorizing about this stuff, and coming up with functional versions of something that could’ve existed once. And if it’s something that has never existed at all, well, that’s even cooler. Medieval-modern fusion.”

I chuckled at the phrase. “Sounds like something that would be in the Yelp description of a Portland restaurant.”

Abbey slapped her knee as she laughed at this, then winced.

“Quit cracking jokes like that,” she said in a mock-stern voice as she wagged a finger at me. “I’m going to have to start wearing poleyns around the store.”

I could only assume poleyns were some sort of medieval knee armor, and I had to smile at the leatherworker’s antics as we worked out the final details and decided on the styles of the women’s new leather armor.

“Do you think you could do a rush order?” I asked after we had agreed on the specifics. “If only for the bracers? I mean, I know it’s a lot of stuff to do in a short time, so I’ll understand if you can’t…”

Abbey toyed with one of the piercings in her lip and got a calculating look on her face, and then she ducked into the back room again to check how much of each type of leather and carbon fiber she had.

“I’m almost certain I can have three pairs of bracers done within a few days,” she said decisively. “I can’t say I’m 100% sure because I haven’t done carbon fiber knuckles before, but I think I can do it by then. I’ll work on those first, and then do the other stuff as quickly as possible without compromising quality. I still want to equip you guys with my top work.”

“I appreciate that,” I said genuinely. “I’ll pay extra—”

“Don’t worry about that for now,” the leatherworker assured me with another wave of her hand, although her pierced face was glowing with pride and excitement about her work. “Payment after. Do I have your phone number already?”

“Nope,” I said, and I accepted the pen she was holding to scrawl down my number at the bottom of her notepad. “This is my cell number, so you can call or text.”

“Wonderful!” she cheered. “I’ll text you updates, and then give you a call when I’m done. I can’t wait to get started on these.”

I felt just as excited when I left the leatherworks store, and the feeling was reflected on the faces of the two warrior women at my sides as we headed back toward the car.

The fact that they would have the functional equivalent of brass knuckles incorporated into their leather armor was an idea that hadn’t occurred to me until I was in the shop, and I was glad Abbey was so thrilled to go along with it as I contemplated how much better this would be than traditional brass knuckles.

I felt confident that the option I had agreed on with the leatherworker wouldn’t have the same possibility of hurting my women’s hands as brass knuckles, and it also removed the possibility of the knuckle armor slipping from their grip. I wasn’t sure if Mavra and Zenia would’ve been quick enough to snatch up a pair of brass knuckles off the ground and use them if that were to happen, but it seemed better not to find out.

Not to mention the fact that this would just be that much more unexpected to my womens’ opponents.

I knew the blood count would be higher in the fight they would be walking into a few days from now, so taking these steps alleviated some more of the tension. I’d been nervous after considering the possibility of my warriors facing one or more different and unexpected opponents when we returned to Bayalon. Now, between the new armor, the additions I had requested for their upcoming training session, and the few other preparations that were forming in my mind, I felt fully confident that Indy and Ellie would be safe and victorious in their battle.

The prospect of hitting up even more oasis cities in the future was dizzying to me in the best way imaginable. My two women were getting more skilled in the mortal arts by the day, and I had even more ideas for ways to up their training and conditioning after we returned from Bayalon again.

But for the moment, I had plenty of excitement in the immediate future to hold my attention. Indy and Ellie’s feverish eagerness, along with the additional commas I’d soon be seeing in my bank account, made it easy to be focused on the task at hand.

Which brought me to the next action to check off on my list.

“We made a pretty big entrance to the legendary city on our first visit,” I reflected.

“Your war chariot was thunderous,” Indy agreed with a hint of smugness. “And our new weapons helped awe the guard into acceptance.”

“Hell yeah.” I grinned. “But I was thinking for the second time, maybe we could make an even bigger entrance…”