Backyard Dungeon 5 Chapter 2

“This day just gets better and better,” I said into my phone, and I walked into my new, empty house for the first time.

My wives came in behind me and started to wander around the house, and they chatted with each other about their future plans for different rooms.

“I’m glad you’re pleased,” Meyer replied. “How’s the new house? Is everything in order?”

“Yeah,” I said as I paced around the big living room. “The new furniture is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. The ladies and I are excited.”

“Excellent,” the lawyer’s placid voice came over the line. “That was all the business I had to update you on. Is there anything else you needed before I go?”

“Actually…” I paused as a thought crossed my mind. “I was wondering if you could recommend a new broker for me?”

“Has something happened with Mr. McElfresh?” Meyer asked in a curious tone.

“Not exactly,” I replied with a shrug the lawyer couldn’t see. “He made me this offer to invest in a new business, but it sounded kinda shady to me. I bowed out of it, but then Owen got kinda-- weird for a minute. I just want to know what my other options are for right now.”

I didn’t mention the car that had followed me after I left the Irishman’s jewelry store last time. I didn’t even know if it had anything to do with Owen, honestly. And there was no reason to bring Travis into the middle of it when it could have easily been one of Stanton’s security buddies.

But I needed to get to the bottom of whoever was in that black sedan.

“Really?” Travis asked with mild surprise. “Mr. McElfresh does have a temper on him, but I’ve noticed a marked improvement since he began those anger management courses. But I’ll have Alice send you a list of some other brokers I’ve worked with in the past. If you do decide to stop doing business with McElfresh let me know. Owen is… well connected, and we should handle the matter delicately.”

Travis didn’t need to tell me what “well connected” meant.

I’d suspected Owen was at least connected to some kind of crime family, or something close to that. McElfresh was Irish, and everyone he seemed to work with had Irish last names, whether or not they had the accent.

“Should I even go back to him then?” I asked my lawyer.

“I’ve worked with Owen McElfresh for years,” Meyer replied in a measured tone. “And while he is one of my more… colorful clients, I have always had a good relationship with him. But in these matters, an ounce of prudence is worth a pound of shit, if you’ll excuse the crude expression. I’d counsel you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“Thanks, Meyer,” I said. “If you vouch for him, I’ll stick with Owen for now. But I’ll still take that list of brokers when Alice has time.”

“Very good,” Meyer replied, and then he efficiently skipped the goodbye and hung up.

“Oh!” I heard Ibseth exclaim from the hallway that led to the kitchen and the stairs behind me. “This is so perfect!”

I put my phone back in my pocket and headed down the hallway to see what the ladies were up to.

Nileme and Ibseth were at the bottom of the steps and headed toward the kitchen. I followed them in as Ibseth stepped into the middle of the dining area, put her arms out, and spun around to enjoy all the open space.

“This is a palace!” the white-haired woman cooed happily. “It’s so big! Oh, Eddie, my king! Thank you so much for our new house.”

“I’m just happy you’re happy.” I smiled as I leaned against the open doorway. “If it weren’t for all of you, I would probably have been fine just living out my days in the trailer. But that just won’t do for my family.”

“It is a very fine house,” Nileme agreed with a broad grin.

“It’ll be even better furnished.” I nodded. “The truck is supposed to be here first thing in the morning.”

“Then we have the rest of the day to train,” Amrila said as she came through the door behind me that led to the basement. “Also, did anyone else know we have a dungeon?”

“It’s called a basement,” I snorted. “And it’s partly finished too, which is nice.”

“Why didn’t the Miller’s just finish it?” the horned woman asked with a wrinkled brow. “What good is ‘partly finished?’”

“No,” I tried to explain. “It’s a thing on the surface.”

“It’s a thing to only partly finish things?” Nileme asked, also clearly confused.

“It’s just a type of basement,” I said as I struggled to hold in laughter. “Let’s go train a little, and then I’ll order apps and grill up the steaks.”

The ladies and I all went back to the trailer and gathered in the backyard. Growler and Dread happily chased one another around as Ibseth checked on her little greenhouse, and she started to pick the ripe cucumbers so she could try pickling them. Mrs. Tinor had taught the violet-eyed woman how to do it when we were in The Gloom fighting Igurg.

Ibseth now had a collection of mason jars and jugs of vinegar in the trailer, ready for her harvest. I couldn’t wait. Homemade pickles were the best, and I hadn’t had any in years.

As Ibseth worked in her little greenhouse, Amrila, Nileme, and I all squared off with wooden swords. Amrila had started to teach me how to swordfight weeks ago, in case we needed a quieter form of combat than the rifles. It didn’t come up often, but I figured it didn’t hurt to learn a new skill.

But when Amrila came at me with an overhanded swing, and I blocked it with a loud thunk, Dread immediately darted for the greenhouse entrance and stuck close to Ibseth.

It was strange. Both of the garms had fought so fiercely against Igrurg and his men, even after the Orc warlord transformed into a monster. But up here on the surface, Dread had kinda become a baby. I knew the Goblins who’d originally captured Dread and Growler badly mistreated them, but Growler didn’t run off when my warrior wives and I started to mock fight.

I decided I would have to train Dread a little bit more and get him to the place where he could be a guard dog for Ibseth when I was down in The Gloom. Dread had fought seasoned Orcish warriors without problem, and I was sure he’d be pretty scary once he was grown to full size. He’d probably deter most burglars just by being big as hell.

Nileme and Amrila put me through several drills, and I felt like I’d really started to get the hang of the basics. I’d learned where to place my hand below the pommel and how to keep the point of the blade pointed low between attacks. I could block a fair number of Nileme’s attacks because her style was slower, but she was also more powerful since she typically used a greatsword.

That is, before she fell in love with guns.

Amrila’s attacks were harder to dodge, since she was fast, lithe, and had two short swords. The horned woman would flick one wooden sword at me, and then bring the other around while I seemed distracted. I caught on to that early, though, and I used the broad side of my practice sword as I held it across my body to block an attack from either side.

“You learn quickly,” Nileme complimented me.

“I’ve watched you and Amrila long enough.” I smiled and shrugged. “I think we can call it here for today. I’ll get out the grill, and you ladies can order the appetizers you want.”

I gathered up the wooden practice swords while Nileme and Amrila went over to help Ibseth carry the vegetables she’d picked into the house.

I took a moment and refilled the garms’ water bowls with the garden hose, pulled out the grill, and carefully piled the charcoal, and then I poured on some lighter fluid and lit the coals. Once the flames died down, I spread out the coals and closed the lid with the vent on the side open enough to allow in air, and then I went into the house to grab the steaks.

Ibseth had already washed off her fresh veggies and laid the cucumbers out on the counter, ready to pickle. My first wife picked out some of the other veggies for a salad to go with dinner, and I grabbed the steaks and a beer from the fridge.

Even with all the trouble going on in The Gloom somewhere below my backyard, life felt like paradise.

By the time the grill had heated up to the perfect temperature, my three wives and I were all gathered in the backyard with Growler and Dread. The yard would be huge once I knocked down the fence between the trailer and the new house, and I’d even started to secretly plan a big-ass playhouse for my future children.

Once the appetizers arrived, we all sat in the yard with beers and paper plates loaded with food, and I was on cloud nine.

“Do you think the resistance in the Yennih territory will help us?” Nileme asked Amrila as she took a pull from her beer bottle.

“I’m sure some of them will,” the horned woman replied around a mouthful of salad. “This is what they’ve been waiting for.”

“Who do you think we should see first?” I asked as I threw a couple scraps of steak to the garms.

I’d waited until I had eaten most of the steak because I’d heard that’s a way to establish that you’re the leader with dogs. I didn’t know if it was true, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.

“I think we could just drag Scourge along,” Amrila answered in a thoughtful tone. “He presents himself as a silly fop, but he’s very well respected in those circles. Even Groc at the tavern listens to him.”

“I like that idea.” I nodded as I sipped my beer. “I was worried about bringing in people I didn’t know. But I trust Scourge like a brother at this point.”

“So, the Dolrath and the Crardu are going to join forces against Ursenger?” Ibseth asked with a wide eyed expression.

My first wife didn’t talk about her half-brother often, and I didn’t blame her.

The sick bastard had made her life miserable in The Gloom when she refused to marry or sleep with him. The “Mad Chief” of the Yennih had also killed her full brother, Ondur, but I’d only heard Ibseth talk about that once.

For every ounce of pain Ursenger had caused my sweet, kind hearted wife, I would take a pound of flesh from that bastard.

“Yes, after the other chiefs saw the evidence that Ursenger made a deal with a Demon Lord, they were on board,” I replied. “Now, it’s just a matter of moving fast enough so he doesn’t catch wind of anything before we can organize the attack.”

“It will be key to strike at the Mad Chief quickly,” Nileme agreed. “Before he can mount a proper response.”

“Well,” Ibseth said as she looked pensively at the coals on the grill, “with the three of you leading the charge, I’m sure you’ll be victorious.”

“I promise we will, baby.” I smiled.

We fed the garms their evening meal of hearty kibble and then turned in. It was our last night in the cramped trailer, but I still felt content.

The next morning, the four of us were all up early and ready for the delivery truck. We’d kinda gone ham and ordered enough to furnish almost the whole house. When the delivery people pulled up, we had just finished breakfast, and Ibseth jumped up off the couch with a squeal of delight. The white-haired woman wore a pair of artfully torn jeans that hugged the curves of her round hips, a tight, white little crop top, and one of my old flannels.

“They’re here, they’re here!” my wife giggled with glee.

As Ibseth skipped out through the front door, Amrila slugged back the last of her coffee. The horned woman had on a band hoodie over skin tight, black skinny jeans, and she looked effortlessly sexy, as always. If it weren’t for her horns and the red tone of her skin, my Zencarri wife looked like all the girls I’d crushed on in high school.

“We shouldn’t leave her alone for too long,” Nileme said with a soft smile as she gestured after Ibseth. The dark-haired woman wore a pair of black leggings, a worn t-shirt, and another of my old flannels that she’d tied at her trim waist, and she looked equal parts comfortable and beautiful.

“After you.” I smirked and flourished dramatically toward the door.

Nileme and I followed Ibseth out the door, and we walked up to the trucks that had parked in the driveway of the new house. The furniture store had sent two trucks and four men in polos and lifting belts, since the order was so large, and I stepped up to one of the men who carried a clipboard.

“Hi, I hope you found the place okay,” I said as I held out my hand to shake.

“What-- oh, yeah.” The man with the clipboard cleared his throat, and he tore his eyes from Ibseth and Amrila as they walked up to the new house to unlock it. “You’re Mr. Hill?”

“Yeah.” I grinned as my eyes followed to where the man had been looking. “You can call me Eddie.”

“Nice to meet you, Eddie.” The man shook my hand and tried to recover some professionalism. “I’m Chris. My boys and I will do all the heavy lifting. You just need to tell us where you want everything.”

“Oh, that’s more my wives-- uhh-- my wife’s thing,” I corrected myself. “Ibseth will tell you where she wants everything.”

“Smart man,” Chris joked. “We’ll start unloading, and the Missus can point us where to go.”

“Sounds good.” I nodded, and Nileme and I stood back and watched as the delivery guys started to unload some of the smaller items from the back of the trucks. The Elven woman fiddled with the flannel tied around her waist like she didn’t know how to just stand by and watch, and I chuckled as a thought came to mind.

“I really need to take you out so you can get some clothes of your own.” I grinned at the Dolrath woman and nodded to the flannel she was playing with. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the way you look in my shirt, but you’d probably be more comfortable in clothes you picked for yourself.”

“Normally ,I would say not to fuss over it,” Nileme replied with a breezy laugh. “But all of Ibseth’s clothes are too short, and Amrila’s so slim that I haven’t bothered to borrow anything from her. And while your shirts fit me, I could never get your pants over my hips.”

“I haven’t been blessed with your curves,” I chuckled.

I’d always been tall and thin, but the construction work that got me through college and my adventures in The Gloom had helped to fill out my shoulders and chest. I was still slim, but I was more of an inverted triangle than I had been in high school.

When Ibseth came out, Chris approached her with his clipboard, and I sat back to enjoy whatever came next. My first wife may have a strange appearance by surface standards, but her charm, grace, and beauty almost always won people over.

Today promised to be very entertaining for me.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Hill?” the man with the clipped board asked as he touched the bill of his baseball cap. “Your husband said we should ask you where everything goes.”

“Really?” The curvy woman smiled before she looked over to me and winked in a coy fashion. “I would be happy to.”

Ibseth walked over to the trucks, and the expressions on the delivery men’s faces were priceless. There were looks of confusion, appreciation, and everything in between.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” the violet-eyed woman said as she inclined her head to them without a trace of self-consciousness. “If you would be so kind, the blue and silver couch and loveseat should go in the living room. And the reclining chair should go in the north east corner where the sun won’t glare in Eddie’s eyes at sunset.”

And that’s how it went for the next several hours. Ibseth directed the workmen with easy grace, and she brought them coffee and banana bread when they took a short break halfway through.

By the time they were done, every single one of them was in love with her, but Amrila stuck close by the white-haired woman’s side and glowered at any of the workmen when she felt they got too friendly.

Then one of the delivery guys wolf whistled at the red-skinned woman on his way back to the trucks and instantly realized his mistake.

“It will be hard to whistle if I rip your lips from your face and feed them to my dogs,” Amrila said flatly with an arched eyebrow.

The horned woman was only half the size of the delivery man, but there must have been something in her expression that convinced him she meant it because the big man dropped his gaze and hurried to the trucks without any further comment.

“Well, that’s everything, Mr. Hill,” Chris said as he looked over the papers on his clipboard. “The card this is under is in your name, so I’ll just need you to sigh here.”

“No problem.” I smiled as I took the pen the gentlemen offered me and signed. “Thank you so much. Your guys got that done so fast. It wasn’t exactly a small order.”

“Usually, we just deliver maybe a room or two worth of stuff.” Chris nodded. “But this was kinda nice. We didn’t have to drive around a bunch, and now it’s lunch time.”

Then I saw Chris glance over at my wives as they stood in the yard and talked before he turned back to me.

“It’s none of my business,” the man in the polo said in a curious tone that I had become familiar with over the last couple of months. “But are you all-- what do they call them-- furries?”

“No,” I snorted. “Furries are the people who dress like animals. The ladies are all cosplayers.”

“Huh.” Chris nodded. “Well, either way, you’re a lucky man. Your wife’s a hell of a woman.”

“Thank you.” I grinned. “I’m well aware.”

After the delivery trucks all pulled away, the ladies and I went into the living room and piled onto the new couch. For once, we didn’t have to all cram together to fit, but snuggled comfortably instead.

“Now, we just have to get furniture for Whitmire’s place,” I joked as I settled into the taagle of arms and legs with my wives. “I’ve also been thinking about making an offer on Tinor’s place, since Jack has been talking about heading to Arizona. That way you would each have a house of your own.”

“You are too generous, my king,” Ibseth purred as she leaned against my shoulder.

“I like the sound of that.” Amrila smirked. “I was thrilled to have my own room. But a whole house is even better.”

“I guess that would just leave you three to decide who gets which house,” I replied.

“That’s a simple matter,” Nileme said as she curled up next to Amrila. “Ibseth is the first wife, so she should get the biggest house. Then Amrila. Then me.”

“I don’t want anyone feeling like they deserve less just because I met Ibseth first.” I frowned. “I love you all equally.”

“We know that, Eddie,” Amrila said as she stroked my hair. “But it’s not about who you love more, or if someone is better. But going by order of wife makes things easier. And if you get the Tinor’s house, that’s the one I want because it doesn’t smell like Whitmire’s horrible perfume.”

“Now you will have to decide where you spend each night, Eddie,” Ibseth giggled.

“I mean, how is that usually decided?” I asked with a huge grin on my face. “Is there a roster or something to keep things fair?”

“It depends on the household,” the white-haired woman explained. “Some men just choose who they prefer each night. Others set a schedule or have their first wife handle the matter.”

“Well, I don’t have a preference,” I said. “So I guess we’ll just do a rotation and start with Ibseth, then Amrila, then Nileme. And on Sundays we can draw a name out of a hat or something.”

“Or,” Amrila interjected with a wicked grin, “on those days we can all just sleep together.”

That idea had an immediate effect on how tight my pants felt. I’d been with Ibseth and Amrila at the same time, but to have all three of my wives at once was a hell of a mental image.

“I guess we can decide that as we go,” I snorted, and then I turned to Ibseth. “Which room did you pick for the baby?”

“The one next to the master bedroom,” Ibseth sighed in a content tone as she placed her hand gently over her belly. “The one at the end of the hallway is where Nileme chose for her room.”

“Let’s go take a look,” I said as I reluctantly untangled myself. “I should get some measurements so we can pick out a crib and stuff. Then I’ll take apart the big bed in the trailer and put that in Nileme’s room.”

“I can help Nileme move the big bed,” Amrila said as she also got up. “I watched you put my bed together, and it’s not complicated.”

As my Zencarri and Dolrath wives went to the trailer to take apart the bed in the master bedroom there, Ibseth and I went up the stairs to take a look at what would be the baby’s room.

It was a nice sized room for a kid, with a north west facing window and a small closet. The walls were stark white, and the beige carpet didn’t really scream kids room to me.

“Do you want to paint the walls?” I asked my first wife.

But I stared at her perfect, round ass because I was still focused on all the talk downstairs about sleeping in one big bed with my three wives.

“What color do humans paint a baby’s room?” Ibseth asked as she turned to look at me.

“That depends,” I said as I moved toward the petite woman and wrapped my hands around her thin waist. “Sometimes people paint a room blue for a boy, or pink for a girl. But there are a million options. We could go with a soft yellow, or pick a theme like cute forest animals.”

“Forest animals would be perfect,” Ibseth purred as she sensed my ulterior motive for being alone with her and moved in to press her large breasts against me. “And if it’s a boy, we will name him Edward.”

“And if it’s a girl?” I rumbled.

“Would you be mad if it’s a girl?” Ibseth asked as she looked up at me with genuine concern.

“Of course not,” I gently assured the blue-skinned woman. “I’m just happy to be a dad. All I care about is that you’re happy and the baby’s healthy.”

“You are the finest of men, my king,” Ibseth breathed as she pulled me in for a long, passionate kiss.