Patreon, R&P Q&A #292
Added 2024-11-06 21:09:41 +0000 UTCOn time. see you tomorrow
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Field Report #6 Hey Rian, field report here. I continue on the path of running OODA loops faster and faster to guide my actions with the girl (and with people in general, it's extremely useful in life in general I'm finding). But specifically for the girl, in my estimation, I'm going from mostly running OODAs too slowly in most situations, to about half the time. An example recently: It's shark week now, and last week she was PMSing. However, despite how it was before when I wasn't holding my frame at all, now shes… keeping it together. Idunno if you remember but a few months back during her period she kept baiting me into having big blowout fights that I didn't want to have but I allowed to have. These days this happens not as much, and whatever shit she sends my way its small. An example: Last week as her period started, she sent me a picture of one of my necklaces that she pretty much appropriated for her own, around her thigh. For context, I'm a burly, if a bit thicc, and she's a slender and short woman. My neck is as thick as her thigh. I texted back "hell yeah, my neck is thick as hell" and she somehow took that to mean that I was calling her fat, and started blowing up my phone with texts that I didn't read. I was able to catch this in time and I just texted her "look, that wasn't meant as a put down for you, it was meant as a compliment for me. I'm not having this argument with you. See you later today." and all she replied was with "okay." Then she comes over my place and, memory of a goldfish. She sucks me off, and then when we're cuddling, she starts telling me how thankful she is that I can help her with her emotions especially when she's on her period. I'd say it’s a small win for me. And these situations are largely replacing the big blowouts that I used to have. In short, I'm having stable, if slow, progress. I do have one situation that I don't know how to resolve. We both like to watch porn, but since we started dating, we don't watch as much. She's been wanting to watch porn with me. Her own initiative. I'm all for it. We will sometimes just pull up the laptop and either ill put something that I like or she will put on something she likes. We then start to fool around and she's either sucking me or im fingering her and she's stroking me. At one point she said she doesn't like looking at other men's dicks and only wants to look at mine. So I asked "what about lesbian porn? She said she enjoys it and can get off on it, but is not a lesbian. Ok, so we start looking at lesbian videos together. While we watch, she sucks me or I will finger her and she strokes me. Eventually though, she'll get pissed off and claims that she's feeling super jealous cause I'm enjoying the women in the movie (well duh) and her mood is soured. We've had like 3 or 4 episodes like this. I'd like to enjoy this activity with her, but I'm at a loss to how to approach it. It may be that she just can't handle me looking at other women, and I guess that would be fine. I'm just wondering what other guys have done in this situation. Also, I'm wondering if she's bisexual at some level. I'll be honest, I certainly hope so, because I would love to see if I can leverage that into a threesome. I am starting to have suspicions that she is bisexual, at least a bit. It's clear she likes men. She fucks enthusiastically, has never turned me down, and will do the kinky things I enjoy without complaint. The reason I think she may be bisexual is because of, well, what I described with the porn AND I know that she watches lesbian porn on her own time sometimes. She's even shared how one time her former roommate caught her watching lesbian porn on accident. I asked her to show me the video and it was some hardcore lesbian porn (it was very good too). She's even shared some videos she likes. All lesbian porn. But all just two women, never more than two. Idunno man, what would you advise given the situation with watching porn with her? Also, do you think I could pull a threesome with her or am I just wanting to see what I want to see? I know I'm making a mistake somewhere but I'm too inexperienced in this angle to see what it is. Cheers.
Diego Verga
2024-11-14 18:29:55 +0000 UTCThanks!
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-08 19:01:24 +0000 UTCThanks guys!
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-08 19:01:11 +0000 UTChttps://rianstone.substack.com/p/how-exactly-do-you-take-the-red-pill
Op Sec
2024-11-07 19:30:31 +0000 UTCRealize (I appears you are) this is a marathon not a sprint… Keep repeating…
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-07 19:03:37 +0000 UTC66 Health I left things a bit vague two weeks ago. Here are the details. Health and diet Started a food log. I also use a continuous glucose monitor which acts like a brutal diet coach. I shoot for an 85 average (brings all blood numbers (A12…) to healthy ranges. But when I go through boughts of feeling horrible I am up at 100-110 (this will put on weight.) It is the snacking that gets me. Snacking helps with pain. (Like smoking a cigarette) Over these years of slow recovery I do have less days I need to eat away pain. My weight is stable at 205. Slowly heading down. I have a full medical to do list that I track, I am up from 14/30 days of being able to do the protocol to 19/30 days. That translates to good vs bad days I have. Think days I feel like I have a constant hang over to being able to function. 30% increase in good days . Earthing mat was a game changer… reduced inflammation. My sleep has dramatically improved since using it. I have a pulse now according to the acupuncturist I go to once a month. All of this supersedes working out. I walk daily and fence once a week. I can overdo it fencing. Meaning I get extreme fatigue and headache for a day… The other objective tests I have to measure health are consistent events I do. Such as a yearly camping trip I did two weeks ago. I am sustaining these better and a better. Less or even no Tylenol. The social animal stuff I wrote about is also a gauge. I am noting that I don’t have to deal with smashing headache while actively opening people at a party anymore. I can also handle louder music. The point: I have specific goals. Many with objective numbers. I have ways to test (not perfect but something) Results are going in the correct direction. It is slow and the treatments are exotic. The documentary unrest (on Netflix) preview on YouTube. Describes my situation and most do not find their way out of this.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-07 18:57:25 +0000 UTCQuick books has gotten outrageously expensive. Look at zoho. It is more user friendly and much cheaper.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-07 18:33:29 +0000 UTCObserve, orient (determine your options, mm, rules, boundaries…strategies), decide and act. Then you can throw a sentence in on what your learned…
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-07 18:31:17 +0000 UTCYes, this would be where you post. Every Thursday at 2 (eastern) Ryan will read them. Click on the YouTube link above to watch life or the recording.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-07 18:28:29 +0000 UTCIs this the best place to put field reports, or do you use Reddit, like married red pill? I want to get honest feedback, and ALSO don’t want to see my posts up on CNN one day. I am 56, married for 14 years, a shit ton of issues with marriage, and need to work on getting my needs met. My wife tells me i am a wonderful man, and how sweet and understanding I am , etc. But, sex life is basically non existent. (I know, this is the sterotypical intro post for red pill)
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-07 18:22:31 +0000 UTCFuck your new years resolutions. "write field reports" so why didn't you write one?
Op Sec
2024-11-07 18:05:55 +0000 UTCGoal - Rewrite and think about my previous emotional field report. LTR- 6 years (Age 31 both of us, no kids - engaged) Gym - Its going steady. No new P/R. but i am getting more stares and love from women. ("You are looking good/your are getting bigger/ you look more manly") Sex - Once this week Observe – 1. From my previous field report, I was just vomiting and doing verbal diary, I was mad that I am not fitting this so-called MRP man archetype that I built in my mind. MRP does not solve all my life and relationship problems, and I should not be using MRP as an excuse to not want to be with my misses. 1.b I dont use these tools consistently. 2. Every time I get angry, I notice that I just victim puke. This is an emotion that I need to understand more. I go into aggressive and defensive mode when i get into an argument. 3. Whenever Rian Stone read’s it and gives me feedback I see my flaws and clam the fuck down. When I have calmed down, I think better and rationally. But i think more importantly when i write a field report. I am a writer kind of person as its really helping me think better and clearer. 4. My field report could have simply been written as. I turned a small argument to a big one unnecessary. Because I was highly emotional, I literally wanted to break up with my misses. If I would have done it, I know that I would have regretted it. 5. I have come to a better understanding that I often want to break up with my misses and run away whenever we argue. 6. For the past two weeks I have found her a little less attractive, as she has lost weight in a bad way. (The skinny look) Orientate – The whole field report could have been written like this: As of recent I have been very sexually frustrated because I have not had sex for 2 month with my misses. My sexual frustration turns into resentment and these resentments turn into me arguing with my misses. I also noticed that I have lost a bit of attraction for my misses, and I have seen her loss a lot of weight. Calm down before making decisions as I have made decisions whilst angry and I have often regrated them. Decide – I need to explore and understand why I always want to break up with my misses when she pushes my buttons and Reexplore my narcissistic fantasy Injury. Act – 1. Continue to write field reports regardless of how the week has gone. 2. Continue to force my boundary and not feed into arguments. Walk away when needed 3. I know I will stay with my misses if these arguments get ironed out and if she gains her healthy weight. 4. Remove this so-called MRP man architype that I built in my mind and just think of these as just tool and technique 5. Don’t think that MRP can fix all my problems and not everything is fixable. 6. Be a consistent, and congrument man before i can expect this from others. ---- From your work comes self respect. From your self respect comes options. From your options comes authority. From your authority comes expectations. From your expectations comes investment. I guess i am still on the first part. — Praxeology Volume 1: Frame
Cocky_funny
2024-11-07 17:33:32 +0000 UTCShe's on good behavior with me and I enjoy her company so I don't see a reason why I shouldn't try being exclusive with her. If it doesn't work out I can always break up later and get back to spinning plates. I'm not entering into this exclusive relationship blind; I need to focus on completing some other very important goals and don't want to waste time dating around.
Ban Mido
2024-11-07 16:29:45 +0000 UTCwell built style has a cheap foundation course I would highly recommend as it did wonders for me.
Op Sec
2024-11-07 16:22:02 +0000 UTC> I was tired so it probably put her off but other times I can't figure it out cause I wanted to be playful/flirty but got no reciprocation. you are still trying to figure her out. How do you know if your idea of being fun/flirty is attractive? (without using her as your mental point of origin) gym bag routine, does sound solid.
Op Sec
2024-11-07 16:20:46 +0000 UTClet her be responsible for her own orgasm. > She also complained she wanted me to be more vocal about my feelings This is her saying, I can't find a way to control you, can you give me something I can control. Why this girl? What makes her better than other girls?
Op Sec
2024-11-07 16:18:49 +0000 UTCHalloween, a holliday I have always found annoying. “Will you help me decorate”, “I don’t really want to”. “I need to figure out where to hang something”, “I still don’t want to”. “Will you help me hang something”, “sure”. When it happened, I thought, “did I just give in?”. Writing this now, if she had come to me and asked me to hang something, I would have said “sure”. What I really didn’t want is to give an opinion on where to put the pumpkin, and other shit like that. I never did hang anything. Another night after sex. her: “Hey your energy changed just before we had sex?” me: “Did you want more foreplay” her: “No just your energy changed” Sex was worse than normal and I was in a don’t give a shit kind of mood. I figured she’s dealing with anxiety over her own performance. me: “I don’t know what you’re talking about” her: “Tell me, what happened, why did your energy change, I felt it, you did too” I realize this is a shitty comfort test. me: “Look I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about and now you’re starting to annoy me”. Silent treatment for the rest of the evening(not a complaint, observation). I was fine with that, people talk to me all day. The next morning she was extra sweet and charming. Wasn’t sure if I nuked a shitty comfort test, or judging by the reaction just a longer shit test.
Op Sec
2024-11-07 16:15:27 +0000 UTCNot sure if you're actively working out or not but packing on some muscle and leaning out your face will make you look good in any relaxed wear. I actually switched to a more relaxed, straight-cut jeans and sized-up my tshirts & shirts as a lot of girls I met told me they didn't like guys with slim-fit jeans.
Ban Mido
2024-11-07 15:18:16 +0000 UTCFR: * Last week had gone on a trip to Hawaii with the Indian chick and her friends. Throughout the trip and the few days she stayed over at my place before going back to Canada, she was on best behavior; affectionate, respectful, initiating sex, even buying me gifts. The sex is getting better though she still can't orgasm; we tried a vibrating wand but she's still physically incapable of orgasming. I tried my best; in the end she's responsible for her own orgasms. * At the end of her trip she brought up the topic of exclusivity. Initially I told her I liked dating her and would like to continue dating her but I don't think I can be exclusive but she decided to break up instead of being ok with that. She was clearly sad about breaking up and asked me why I couldn't be exclusive with her. I started thinking why not be exclusive with her; I enjoyed her company, the sex was getting better and she was demonstrating best behavior with me. I know it's her attempts at locking me down, especially as she's at the epipany phase (30y), but I'm not marrying her; I'm only agreeing to stop dating other women. I'm also tired of dating around and want to focus on other goals for a while. After thinking it over on Saturday night told her I wanted to be exclusive with her. Told her she needs to prioritize moving back to the US but I'm not waiting on that; if after 6 months she hasn't taken steps to relocate through her job (we both work for the same multi-national company and she can move to the US on L1 visa), I'll break up and start dating again * She also complained she wanted me to be more vocal about my feelings; I took this as a sign that I need to actively game her more instead of just treating her as a friend. So on Sunday night flirted and teased her while on a video call. Got her giggling and blushing like a little girl Questions: * Hey Rian, a personal question, when you decided to become exclusive with your girl from the rotation of 4 girls at that time, did you ever wonder that you might have found hotter girls if you stayed spinning plates? Or were you done spinning plates and wanted to move on to other things and never looked back?
Ban Mido
2024-11-07 14:58:26 +0000 UTCReport cont'd: hit the wrong button this goes with my other post. Anyway, last week I reported I'm not flying off the handle much like I used to. That was just cussing something not going well, I've never gotten violent with my wife/kids though I can see where some might. Initiated 3 or 4 times with the wife and turned down. Took it in stride found something else to do instead like take my son hunting one evening. Wife isn't quite cold but can't seem to get her to participate when I'm being light and flirty with her. Once, I realized I wasn't being congruent with my demeanor. I was tired so it probably put her off but other times I can't figure it out cause I wanted to be playful/flirty but got no reciprocation. When this happens or I get rejected I go workout or do something with the kids outside. Seems like I can have a fun interaction with anybody but my wife somedays. I don't have trouble teasing people I interact with in town or other parents at kids sports/school events, I naturally am good at and have fun with this. When an attempt at flirting with the wife or initiating with her goes flat I notice I am getting better with the outcome independence and actually not disappointed as much as I have been.
Joker43
2024-11-07 05:44:54 +0000 UTCWorking on style some. I recognize I dress for work all the time (relax fit jeans/tshirt) and only have a couple button up shirts and couple old polo shirts I wear outside of work. I want to look a little more sharp when not at work so I got a couple new western polo shirts and some better fitting jeans. Just a small part of improving but its something. Not where I want to be with taking over bills and bookeeping so I'm gonna have a friend help me get better with quikbooks which is my main hangup from relying on my wife for so long to handle. I make a mistake here and there with categorizing or reconciling accounts/expenses the right way so my friend can help with a little tutoring. I don't want the wife to help me with this much I want to do this seperate (my own way). Also, expect to begin studying next week for insurance licensing to achieve for financial independence in the long run. Meeting tomorrow to begin this.
Joker43
2024-11-07 05:17:39 +0000 UTC
