Patreon, R&P Q&A #267
Added 2024-05-02 02:22:55 +0000 UTChttps://rianstone.substack.com/p/how-exactly-do-you-take-the-red-pill
Comments
Jumped on the scale this morning and I weighed 211.2lbs and I am 5’10”. I have work to do.
Validation Junkie
2024-05-03 12:55:33 +0000 UTC3rd report video #266 (3rd video same name) Building muscle. I look better everyday. Feels good. Started tracking weight. We use kg here and not lbs so skipping this time will write in next report post converting. Went back to my hometown to my parents for a visit. Bought them an air conditioner. Struggled a bit with validation seeking internally, but realised and acknowledged it while it was happening and stopped it consciously. Now it's just logistics. Or atleast reminded myself of that. Had a little chat with mom cause she was signalling me to act in her desired way to ease her anxiety. I told her don't try to control me mom. It looks shitty. How do I deal with parents? Mom especially. With the girl she has been struggling with WISNIFG stuff, concluding this from all the RP content I've consumed. She has a problem where her cousins manipulate her for money. We have an employee, he gives some sod story and churns out cash and has increased his debt with her. And now I'm helping her with my money to get by. Do I suggest her reading the book. I myself haven't read it properly yet. Also what if she uses assertive shit on me? But then I'm thinking if thing being said makes sense then I shouldn't see it as a concern, rather an opportunity to keep my shit sorted. How do I go forward with this? Sex has been great. Working out is boosting it even more. She keeps running her hands on me all day whenever there's a chance. But she's mostly been like that. Offered me to apply lotion on my body. I said yes. Had sex after that.
Duke of the Dunes
2024-05-02 18:13:37 +0000 UTCWeigh yourself every day. If you can afford it, get one of those scales that records your weight. Don't bother with the ones that inaccurately guess your bf%. The reason you want to way yourself now is because your future self can look at all the weight you've lost. Your future self will thank you because you'll be able to look back on your accomplishment. Your present self will feel bad, well your present self should feel bad, or at least should feel whatever is appropriate given your weight, which is probably bad. Why should you feel good?
Op Sec
2024-05-02 18:08:06 +0000 UTCI've heard peeps saying they liked that diet. Ile check it out
Iron_hanz
2024-05-02 18:05:14 +0000 UTCI find that taking fewer steps but taking them really well works best. Sounds like you need to fix your diet still, and stop making excuses.
Op Sec
2024-05-02 18:04:20 +0000 UTCIt’s a threat. And will be handled. …. But yes their imagination are running wild
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 18:03:57 +0000 UTCcarnivore is ok. These keto type diets work best at higher levels of body fat. May get you down to 15, at which point in time you will likely need something more sophisticated. Lean gains is what worked the best for me.
Op Sec
2024-05-02 18:02:20 +0000 UTCI'm definitely not afraid of work. Do you have a recommendation for the blood work needed to check on what your lacking?
Iron_hanz
2024-05-02 17:40:05 +0000 UTC54 a reminder of intrinsic value of being a man. My wife and I own brick and mortar retail store. It is all young women that work for us. Wife is completely freaked out one day. “A crazy man keeps coming in. He has a mass murder vibe and we have gotten two complaints from customers about him saying he is going to stab somone…”. The guy is mid 30s, well dressed and in shape. He goes to our store for validation… the vibe.. girl attention. And he spends money every time and try’s to be civil- not the usual crazy person. The girls at petrified. They think he stalks them outside the store. They threaten to quit… hold us responsible…My wife is worried about retaliation if we confront him. … She tells me this stuff after taking an anxiety pill. . Me: Don’t worry, we are going to do this -this and this. I will confront him and be at the store after for a few weeks…as long as it takes. Her… but he might kill you…. Me… “well that would be a fun story. Knife fight. lol”. I have not received the call to drive there and confront him yet.. (tell him he can’t come in our store.) Wife is still in pins. The closed communication is funny because I complete forget about it and could care less. Part of me is actually looking forward to it. The subtext is: don’t worry sweety. This is, now, guy stuff. Run along. 😝 She sees that and calms down -stfu. Rp: women are born with baby makers. Men are born with testosterone. It is intrinsic and both have value.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 17:39:30 +0000 UTCUnplugged is all about it. So is Thor. And it will improve things for you. I went the natural rout and it worked but takes work.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 17:29:49 +0000 UTC👍 💯 Subtext: I will not fight gravity (earths) in any way to do things I don’t want to do, The point comes across clear in your writing. Make sure your lawyer situation is on point. It will help with your anxiety about this. Eventually just say no Or don’t respond at all. Coming home to dog shit will be the answer. You’re living with a teen. Note: I agree with stripper: don’t rekindle the fight. Don’t point out her bitch behavior. Goldfish memory. Just say “ok.”
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 17:22:33 +0000 UTCYeah might be true. Maybe it does mean no. I am not trying to convince anyone, nor am I trying to outsorce responsibility. I am thankful for advice either way, even if I might not follow everything down to the t. I do want to keep some integrity though and if that does mean I am being stupid and have to learn the hard way down the line, I accept responsibility.
perseus
2024-05-02 17:18:12 +0000 UTCI think your right, I'm only down to 19% body fat. If I get that down even further than perhaps I will get better energy and prioritize diet. I'm on carnivore right now, that may be why the energy isn't quite there at 3 pm like it used to. I've just heard dudes like unplugged alpha talk about how much more productive he is after starting and was curious if any one in here had any experience.
Iron_hanz
2024-05-02 17:15:37 +0000 UTCShit! I see the difference in your example. What I wrote deers and seeks validation. It’s crazy how this is so ingrained into my everyday interactions and I didn’t even recognize it! That makes me fucking pissed!
Validation Junkie
2024-05-02 16:55:11 +0000 UTCAgreed. Read NMMNG and thought "Yep, that's me". The validation seeking, the covert contracts, hiding the badness, everything. Agreed on the mental point of origin thing aswell. Used to always frame things with regards to her feelings etc (If I do this, how will it make her feel). Definitely agreed on the "more bitches" part. It is my biggest pain point I think. Still not completely sold on the ghosting / put her stuff to storage idea. But I will think about it and I definitely will not seek contact. I admit that part of me wishes she would come back but I do know for sure that I will not ask her to come back. If at all, I don't want the relationship as it was. I am hellbent on proving to myself that I don't NEED her. Tried that (needing her), didn't work Definitely also going out with friends a lot. And I mean A LOT. Have something lined up almost every day. For distraction until the pain fades and also to find back into my own groove. " If that killed your relationship then it was already dead." that is basically what I told my friends.
perseus
2024-05-02 16:43:55 +0000 UTCThe trt debate: my personal take, not red pill. Replacement theory is sub optimal. But for 99/100 people it is all they will do because fixing the root problem takes allot of work. In my situation I could take a handful of pills that would have made me functional but slowly kill me. (I had migraines- one long continuous one to be specific). The rout that healed me was taking specific supplements (based on testing) that corrected imbalances in my body. . (Note: not replacement ex: take zink to move the copper. Not copper to move the copper.). That allowed for healing injury and detoxing (lots) metals, chemicals, mold, virus, fungi…. Which healed the root problem. … migraine gone. This also corrected my testosterone. Simply put: read op secs comment if you go that rout.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 16:43:12 +0000 UTCDon't get intimidated by all the things you need to do over the next couple of years. Focus on what you need to do today, and in the next week or two.
Gearo's Journey
2024-05-02 16:40:08 +0000 UTConce you are on TRT, there's a good chance you are on it for life. Better off dialing in your diet, excercise and lifestyle as much as you can first, then decide if you still need it. Healing faster isn't always the best reason, and it's HGH that helps with that anyway. More deep sleep is needed for that. Those test clinics always give you the same result, you need to be on test. It's symptoms that you want to treat(are you getting night time erections?) not lab numbers as they can vary wildly from person to person. Some people have much more sensitivity than others.
Op Sec
2024-05-02 16:31:43 +0000 UTCMay consider if it is tough to get your shit together now, it’s not going to be any easier with a second kid. I agree with stripper. Focus on the fundamentals and consider evaluating in a year with the kiddo thing.
Validation Junkie
2024-05-02 16:28:48 +0000 UTC“ I don’t have a super specific example. Just overall having fun playing around and not taking things too serious. ”. Vs “I changed my tone to be more lighthearted.” Which writing deers? Seeks validation from the internet? As we think we write and vice versa. Note; it will take months to ingrain these mm (Swiss clock). The feeling of relief you got was a window into your future. A window of being your point of origin. You should now start feeling angry because you now understand the bullshit cage you were in.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 16:22:38 +0000 UTCMajor nmmng issues. 100% ghost out. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT seek closure! Ex: That last conversation. Just ghost, unfollow, de friend…. She will find this attractive and want back. As of right now you are not your mental point of origin so you might let her back. If so she must be demoted to a plate. either way you need: Abundance, “more bitches”. more testosterone, anger, read and post, lurk. —“-I started going out with friends again and planning activities without her.” Yes. 👍. And you will keep doing this. If that killed your relationship then it was already dead.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 16:19:08 +0000 UTCStrippers comment is on point. —step 1: get some testosterone flowing—. Notes: you are friend zoned. She is in full betatization mode. And you are failing tests: deering…. Basically she views you as a subordinate and that is not attractive. When her friends tell her how lucky she is, that is probably pushing you into the friendzone box even more. The reactions you want is that her friends want to fuck you. Nmmng is going to be very important.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 16:03:47 +0000 UTCCan't argue with that. It's probably true, I don't want to be the bad guy. Not only because of her, but also because of our many mutual friends.
perseus
2024-05-02 15:56:56 +0000 UTCI am also re-reading NMMNG as well. I agree for sure.
Validation Junkie
2024-05-02 14:56:31 +0000 UTCWhen my father left the crazy step-mom, he told her we were losing the lease. Then, while she was out of town, we moved our stuff to an apartment across town, and her stuff to a storage facility. Your separation from your ex-girlfriend is dragging out because you let it.
Gearo's Journey
2024-05-02 14:52:43 +0000 UTCKeep in mind: if your wife did not respond positively would you still view this as the best time of your life? Point being: are you doing this stuff on your own terms or for her/the relationship? If it is called date night it is planned- scheduled. Don’t label it, or schedule, make it more sporadic.
Cousin Eddie
2024-05-02 14:32:46 +0000 UTCI’m cooking dinner after work while my kid is playing. Wife says she ordered groceries to be delivered, great. Don’t see her and realize she’s probably snuck upstairs leaving me with groceries, dogs and kid to take care of. Annoying but no problem, I’ll do what needs to get done and move on to the next thing. I go up and find her in bed under the covers with her granny night cap and eye mask above her head with her laptop open. I walk over and slide my hand under the covers and grab her ass with one hand… Me: what are you doing? Her: going to do training modules for work. Me: how long will those take? Her: I don’t know… why? Me: cause I was going to come back when you’re done (should have said “for a study break” with a smirk, kissed her, and left) Her: I don’t really feel like having sex, plus my head hurts …. List of other random manipulative excuses that mean she doesn’t want to fuck me. Me: okay. I change out of my dress shirt and go downstairs and get working on everything I need to do. Later I go back in to initiate after putting my kid to bed. Wife is on her phone. I go to sit on the bed and touch her thigh… Me: I thought you were doing your modules? Her: I did some already. Me: That’s good. I was just coming up to give you a break. (Rub her thigh). Her: Not now, my head hurts still, I have a headache Me: I see. (As I get up from the bed and go into bathroom to proceed with my night) Me: I’ll be downstairs if you need me (realized I do this as validation seeking) Last night I brought a strawberry that was fantastic to my wife to try. She mentioned saving some for dipping in chocolate, I said I’ll dip her in chocolate, and she made a comment about having some fun this weekend (grandparents are watching our kid). I said sounds like fun and STFU. Normally I’d hype myself up and fantasize about everything we might do, but I caught myself and remembered that nothing matters except her actions. Reminder myself to be optimistic and positive but expect nothing to happen. Realization: The complete lack of interest and indifference I observed from my wife the past week was very uncomfortable but eye opening. I observed myself constantly overthinking and trying to say witty, charming and flirty replies/lines to “game” my wife. I realize this is likely focusing on her rather than me and likely validation seeking behavior. In my mind all my responses seem so bland and boring, which may be true, but I know much of this is based on my fear of not having stuff to say and thinking I have to entertain my wife all the time. On the bright side I’m catching covert contacts and recognizing my validation seeking behavior more often before I do or say things. Been doing the gym bag routine daily at this point, telling myself to go where there’s value.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-05-02 14:16:06 +0000 UTCThanks. As stated I already read those books. Maybe I should reread them. Changing my lifestyle to meet more girls, practicing flirting etc. is definitely my top priority. Funnily I think I could have pulled a girl the day of the break up, had I just kinod a bit or maybe even just stopped evading her touch (definitely wasn't ready). Met her while going out that night, friend of a friend situation. Anyway, besides the point. Lifestyle has to change and remaining shyness / self esteem issues have to be buried for good! Ghosting the ex right now is out of the question as she has not fully moved out and there are some things like furniture left to resolve. We moved into the apartment together so she owns some of the stuff. However we agreed to cut contact for a while, once the necessary things have been settled.
perseus
2024-05-02 13:54:41 +0000 UTCField Report #14 Dropped to 195. Was inconsistent with my workouts the last two weeks. Back on track in normal routine this week. Had a work dinner planned with the wife tagging along. Mutual friend at work came and his wife was supposed to come along. I pull up and his wife isnt in his car, roll down the window and ask where she is. He said she didnt feel like it and wanted to stay home. I said "what a bitch" with a smile on my face. My wife says that is terrible to say, how would I react if he called her wife a bitch for not coming. I didnt answer, rolled up the window, parked and got out of the car. Old me would have apologized or backed off my comment. Once we got inside I went on with the evening and didn't give it much thought. Throughout the evening she initiated more physical touch (back rubs, hand holds, rubbing my knee) and that night we had enthusiastic sex. Orienting back on it I see that not letting her reactions change my actions in return is what they want.I knew this on an academic level but seeing it in action is telling me I am orienting the direction I want to go. I am thinking less consciously in these situations and reacting more without thinking about steps like an autist. Up for a promotion into a much bigger role and I am going up against a peer at my same level. The final decision is taking longer than I would like and I found myself talking myself out of wanting it. Reflected on why I felt this way and it was a mix of ego protection (if I don't want it then I won't care if they turn me down) and protecting against the negative feelings of rejection. Fear of rejection has been so hardwired over the years but I caught this instance and said no. Deal with the feelings of not getting it and learn from it. I want the job badly and if I don't get it I will give myself a moment to be pissed and then move forward with improving in the areas where I know I am weaker professionally and be ready for the next move.
Amos_Durden
2024-05-02 13:36:03 +0000 UTCField Report #10 2024-05-02 I made two major changes this week: - Changed my macros: My weight loss, and body measurement progress has stalled for about 4 weeks despite being on point with my diet, gym schedule, and walking. As a result, I adjusted my Prot/Carb/Fat macros down by 10% to see if this restarts the weight loss. My intensity level is really rising at the gym and I feel really good about what I've been doing. - Increased interaction with wife by becoming more visible. Since I have been staying in the guest room, which is in a separate part of the house, I rarely see my wife. While this certainly is alot more peaceful for me, I realize that I have been missing the sparring opportunity and missing the opportunity to better understand subtext and womanese. So, I have started doing work on my laptop in some of the areas of the house where we could run into each other so that I get some practice. I also did the following: - I read and reread and took bunch of notes on the open / closed communication model in Frame (status – harmony quadrant chart) and upon reflection realize that my wife is frequently approaching me from the higher status / collaboration or higher status / adversarial quadrants. I have been trying to embrace being an “asshole”, giving zero comfort, and not being swayed by her emotions. I often feel the tugs of wanting to stop being an asshole and to supplicate for validation, but have not been giving in. Here are two mundane examples – not sure if I am doing this right: Example #1: Wife: I am going to church. Can you walk the dog when I am gone. Me: No; you do it. Wife: But I’ll be late. You are just sitting there doing nothing. (note: we have an agreement that she is 100% responsible for the dog) Me: No; I am busy. You do it. Wife: Gives me stinkeye, and silent treatment Me: Ignore her and continue doing whatever I was doing (I’m thinking - no fucking, no dog walking) Wife: Goes and hurriedly walks the dog before church and is late. (Admittedly, I couldn’t help but smile as she was loudly slamming things and making loud sighs in frustration as she left). Example 2: (Later that same Day) Wife: (4 hours later, still mad about me not walking the dog). You turned the ceiling fan on too high, and we are freezing. Turn it down. Me: You’ve got hands. Use the clicker and turn it down yourself. Wife: Every time you come in here you turn it up too high. It’s ridiculous. Turn it down. Me: If you want a different temperature turn it down yourself. (I’ve had enough, walk out, ignoring her request – go into my office to do work) Wife: 10 minutes later, walks into my office. Sorry if I was being mean. (gotta love the “if”) Me: Yeah, you were being a total bitch. Not creating a peaceful and loving environment. Wife: I’m apologizing now. Me: Thank you, you can go now. Wife: Leaves room Both of these examples were somewhat difficult for me. I would have liked to have said something more cocky funny or with amused mastery, but I was really feeling the urge to supplicate, and it seemed to take alot of effort for me to just say what I really wanted without sugar coating or softening it, or trying to be nice. I just kept asking myself: What do I want? - just say that...and the above is what came out.
Ground Hog Day
2024-05-02 13:28:06 +0000 UTCField Report #2 After last weeks q and a it was pointed out that I am still living in my wife’s frame. Still caring too much and swiss watching it. So this last week I worked on letting go of the swiss watsch model. I realized that it was the source of a lot of my neuroticism. I held the belief that if I just figured out the best response or said the right thing I would get the validation I was looking for. I don’t have a super specific example. Just overall having fun playing around and not taking things too serious. I went another week without drinking. Which has had a noticeable positive impact on my energy levels. Feel much more positive. One thing I haven’t done well since quitting drinking is weighing myself. I still feel a lot of shame from the weight I put back on. I feel like in around about way I am still punishing myself.
Validation Junkie
2024-05-02 12:52:54 +0000 UTCFirst Field Report 33 years old and just got left five days ago by my girlfriend of 4 years. Things have been bad in the end for at least a year or so. Sex was about once a week and almost never good. Used to be really frequent and good. Pretty much felt taken for granted. I had started getting more seriously into RP stuff for the last few months. Read NMMNG, WISNIFG, Praxeology 1&2. I stopped smoking weed everty night (which I had done for many years) and started going to the gym. I think the weed was at that time mostly a coping mechanism that I used to hide my despair. Unfortunately my health started to deteriorate (was never the best to begin with) and I had to take breaks from the gym, because I frequently got sick. Around the beginning of April I decided I can't keep living like this and started asking 'what do I want' seriously. I started going to several doctors, researching my symptoms, going on a strict diet (definitely was and still am a bit too fat), thinking about my life and my relationship. Here is what I have identified as problems: I DEERed all the time I gave my time to her like it was worthless even if I got nothing in return I always focused on her happiness Therefore I stopped doing the things that I like and taking time for myself ... classic covert contracts I suppose After those realizations my behavior changed. I was a lot less affectionate most of the time. No more cuddling for hours after being rejected for sex. I started initiating more and trying to be outcome independent. However at that point in time, my frustration was so unbearable that I don't think I managed. I started going out with friends again and planning activities without her. Maybe I went too hard and too far or maybe the hole I had digged for myself was too deep at that point but after a few weeks of this, she broke up with me. Despite the state of the relationship, that did (and still does) hurt like a bitch. I pretty much let her of the hook during and after the breakup, as I think that I was the problem or at least can't rule it out. We are on very good terms and still have respect and feelings for each other but communication is mostly reduced to the necessary. For the last two years she lived with me in my own apartment, so there are some things to work out. Right now I have a strong desire to get back together at some point and I know that she does too (she told me), but I also know that I have problems to solve, so I will have to think about this at some point in the future if I still want it then. I am pretty sure I have identified my biggest problem by now: Zero bitches. I used to have huge self esteem issues, didn't think I was worth a damn. All my relationships fell into my lap and so did the last one. She lived next to me (in the same building) during the pandemic and lockdowns, so she spent a lot of time at our place (me and 2 friends at that time) until we fell in love. I never managed to get a lot of action in between those relationships so I always felt dependent on my respective girlfriends for my needs and desires. Always thought things like 'If she leaves, that's it' and 'How do I need to behave for this to work this time' My neediness and insecurities killed the relationship(s). My self esteem is much better nowadays and I do know now that I'm not a bad catch (give or take a few residual issues I have to fix). I'm somewhat good looking, or so I'm generally told. I am rather muscular (used to train at home a lot, probably good genetics) if a bit too fat and 6 feet tall. I'm financially well off, have many really good friends (helped a lot these past few days) and tend to be charismatic and funny when not intimidated by attractive women. I can already overcome the intimidation sometimes. I can often make the women laugh and sometimes - I think - spark their interest. I feel like I mostly struggle with approaching / breaking the ice if not introduced 'naturally' and the last few steps, turning the encounter erotic. So, here is what I am doing right now: 1. As mentioned, strict diet -> down from 104 to about 99 kg (or 229 to 218 lbs) since start of April. Recently up a bit from 98 (216) but I think that is because point 2. I probably need to lose another 10 pounds or so, to lose the belly and look my best. 2. Started going to the gym again. I am starting slowly to see if my health can keep up but I am going frequently. And when I am there, I am making it a habit to talk to the cute female trainer. I already always talked to the male ones a lot as they are cool guys and as I mentioned, I am quite sociable. Furthermore, some running, biking, walking. 3. Still on the health thing of course. Still have some doctors appointments to go to. Had blood samples taken today for some extended tests. But honestly I feel like losing some weight helped a bit as I might have had at least mild sleep apnea according to doctors. Also the relationship was really weighing down on me and stressing me out. So the breakup, hurtful as it is right now, might actually help in this regard. No more constant stress of trying to salvage a dying relationship. 4. The most important step however might be that I signed up for a beginner Salsa dancing class this coming sunday. I had thought about doing this prior to and even during the relationship, but was always to scared. This is a first step in trying to overcome what's left of my shyness and changing the logistics of my social life. If I don't meet attractive women at all, I can't fuck 'em, can I? There are frequent Salsa parties in my city, so if this works out, it might be a good opportunity to meet women. In the classes too I suppose but I am trying to think long term. Let's see how this goes
perseus
2024-05-02 12:31:05 +0000 UTCWhat have you read from the sidebar? What is your gym program? What do you want?
Owning My Shit
2024-05-02 12:16:28 +0000 UTCFR #1 Alright, here we go. I’ll try and skip the Batman origin story, but here’s some context for ya’ll. Mid-thirties, married, with one kid (toddler). I ignored a bunch of red flags when we first started because of the sex, which was admittedly pretty great when we weren’t a couple yet. When we became a couple it started diminishing (in both quality/quantity), and even more so when I moved countries to be with her. Yeah, quelle surprise, lol. We had a kid, got married, and now it’s close to being a dead bedroom (or is already): one time a month during ovulation. It was like that from the moment I moved countries and was officially ‘locked into’ the relationship. Not that I blame her: I’m out of shape (skinny fat / weak), my social life is non-existent, she earns more than I do, and frame has been pretty much non-existent. Probably didn’t help that I had the ‘conversation’ a few times already (“we need to work on our sex life”), and sometimes even tried to communicate (“why do you have to be so mean? I’ve cleaned the house and you just complain that the dishes aren’t stacked right”). You know, the usual. Suffice it to say, none of that ever really helped and sometimes led to snide remarks from her that sometimes make me resentful. As is, we’ve both settled into the relationship, and she’s definitely comfortable with it. I’m the workhorse (super hands-on with the kid, do all cooking, 90% of household chores, etc), don’t raise waves, and just exist for the family. Everyone likes saying how lucky she is to have a husband like that (lol). Anyway, not super stoked about the situation, so here I am. Here’s what I’m doing: got my ass into the gym (still struggling to find the time / eat decently) but I’ve started shutting the fuck up not doing stupid emotional shit, which I was doing before (victim pukes, seeking for validation from wife/other people, etc) Baby steps, but I’m feeling overwhelmed with the things I want and need to do: get myself in shape, build a social life / become more sociable, build frame, earn more money, and so on. It looks like this is going to be a long-term thing, and there’ll be no easy fixes for me. Besides, there’s a shitload of books and concepts to absorb and, even though I’m familiar with a lot of it, actually implementing and truly learning it is tough. It doesn’t help that my work has become all-consuming (I’m fully remote) and barely leaves me time for anything else. It’s been a fucking struggle there, and it’s affecting all the rest. I’ve jumped on that now, chatted with HR, and explained to them how we need to come up with something better. And a specific situation: We’ve now decided to have a second kid, and this is a tricky one, and maybe I’m fucking it up here. I was initially opposed to the idea because I know this will probably mean even less sex on the long-term, more fighting, and her being even less helpful around the house. During a fight one time, I told her that I wasn’t sure about a second kid because that’d probably be the end of it for us. She wasn’t too happy about me saying that, that’s for sure. Anyway, I would genuinely like a second kid, and I don’t want it when I’m much older. I’d be genuinely happy for a second kid and… if this means things won’t work between us, then so be it. Long-term, I have the upper hand when it comes to the kids because of specific logistics, meaning that in a divorce I’d probably get both (or the arrangement would mostly benefit me). I’m cool with this, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m not seeing things right and am just digging myself a deeper hole.
Whisky Writer
2024-05-02 12:03:27 +0000 UTCSearch “TRT Renaissance Periodization”
Owning My Shit
2024-05-02 05:42:00 +0000 UTCMostly just wanted to share that this stuff works. I've tried everything, even individual therapy. That was a waist of time. Also curious of your guys opinion on trt. Any draw backs? What's your experience? I'm 41 and things don't heal anymore. Date night? Not worth the sex I get afterward. Feels like a cover contract on account I expect her to put in some effort. But it's one of the best ways to display higher value and passive dread. Not sure where to go with this one.
Iron_hanz
2024-05-02 03:25:49 +0000 UTCFirst field report, things have been going great. I'm no longer looking to sex with my wife for validation. Focusing on my business and alternative revenue streams. Cross fit has been great for my body and mind. This is my 4th year. I'm 5ft 9in at 195lbs abs 19%body fat. My wife sent me nudes for the first time in our 15 year marriage the other day. Rewarded her a bit heavy I think. Gave her a message with happy ending and fancy coffee after my morning workout. I stopped going with her and the family in the afternoons to work out. That's been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm just more focused and dialed in. We have been doing date night every week and at first I was thinking I need to drop it. She really wasn't earning it. Now I'm not sure as it's one of the best ways to get passive dread. I dress way better than her and won't apologize for it. My arms are getting vanes and I'm gonna show them off. Been getting lots of looks from other giggling girls and it's a lot of fun. I dress way better than 90 percent of peeps schlubbing around in sweats. And I've made a practice of dressing this way everywhere. Even in the house. Overall I'm the happiest I've been in 15 years and damb it feels good. Getting my test checked on Friday. Ageless male clinic nearby. Not sure if I need it or want trt. Just checking out my options.
Iron_hanz
2024-05-02 02:36:54 +0000 UTC
