Patreon, R&P Q&A #256
Added 2024-01-31 15:50:45 +0000 UTC
Comments
Thanks for the reply man! Ok yeah I was thinking along the same lines. Just gonna keep going, making sure my behavior is balanced and not worry so much. I did see that Rian did not answer my question on the next video that went live after I posted this, so maybe I posted it under the wrong video or place? Where should I post this where I know it would get answered? Or how does this work?
Diego Verga
2024-02-12 21:42:48 +0000 UTCI hope I'm posting this in the right place/in time for a reply. In any case, here goes: Hi Rian. Been lurking for a long time, and same with patreon membership, but rarely engage, mostly watch, sometimes more actively than others. Quick facts about me: 30 years old, from Latin America, have been in an relationship for 5 months with a 22 year old girl from Eastern Europe. I lift and do cardio, watch my calories and eat at a deficit (22% ish body fat at the moment but have made a lot of muscle gains, where the yes I'm still chubby but don't look like a fat slob). Doing good at my job and have had recent progression, have my own apartment, life is good. Right now I'm looking for a steady relationship, hence why I got a girlfriend. Sadly (but not surprisingly) I have had few relationships in my life. All of them under a year and this is the most stable one yet. I fear that my inexperience is making me get in my head. I'd like your (or the chat's) opinion on my question. So the setup: Everything is going very well, we rarely fight. Every now and then we have small disagreements where she's pissed off but they get cleared up super easy. Otherwise things are pretty damn smooth sailing. Sex is good, we keep it kinky, and she often defers to me on a lot of things, even asks for advice for her own problems and actually follows my advice. Over the last month I did a re-read of Practical Female Psychology. It helped me realize that during this relationship, im slipping back into blue pilled (provider) behavior and I'm correcting for that. I'll be doing yet another re-read. Clearly I haven't internalized the material yet. She's really agreeable and pleasant; everything is smooth sailing. I'll be honest, I'm wondering if this is a bad thing, is it too boring? I like the behavior that I'm getting for the most part. I like this level of stability, but I don't know if it's "too stable" or how to gauge that. The thing I'm mainly writing about: There is one thing that worries me a bit. We don't live together but we live fairly close to each other. We usually see each other almost every day after work, and on the weekends we spend them together for the most part. And when we're at work or otherwise away from each other, she's always texting me and sending me instagram reels, tiktoks, pictures, etc. That's all fine and good (I think). I have noticed a pattern in the 5 months I've been dating her. It's been consistent since the start Every now and again, she'll get distant and the pattern I mentioned above flips. During this "distant" behavior spell, when we're at work, the texts are sparce, if at all. I try to start conversation via text, basic stuff like "hows your day going?" "hows work?" etc. Really basic stuff. Usually, her normal way of speaking is more on the affectionate side. But when she's distant like this, she replies in a short and kinda dry manner: "fine," "day's not bad, hows yours?" etc. And usually when she's like this, I'll say something like "hey after work let's go grab some food at X" or "I'm thinking about watching a movie tonight, come over" etc. And every time she's behaving like this and I propose to link up, without fail, she'll basically reject my offer to link up. You guys know how, in a polite, indirect way like "oh im feeling tired today, maybe tomorrow" etc, etc. Then the next day she's back to normal. Usually the next day I try to gently nudge out of her what the deal was the previous day. Usually it will be something she's upset about. Things that I know are a thing that makes her upset like if her mom said something to her that she didn't like or a small but persistent health thing. At least, that's what she tells me. Idunno man, I've stopped asking about it cause without fail she's back to her normal, affectionate behavior the next day. Am I overthinking things? Is this behavior normal? It happens occasionally, probably 10-12 times during the entire time we've been dating. But still, I don't know if how I'm handling it the right way. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as if I did something wrong. And right there, I already know I'm probably not handling this correctly, because of how I react to it internally. To her, I just act like nothing is happening and without fail she's back to normal the next day. But still, you'd think if she's upset, she'd want to get comfort from her boyfriend, right? No? I'm really fucking confused. Thanks everyone for reading. Looking forward to your feedback.
Diego Verga
2024-02-06 21:27:03 +0000 UTCThanks for the feedback.
ThatGuy
2024-02-03 17:07:44 +0000 UTCLRT 6 Years and engaged. Gym – Bench 175 lbs, Deadlift – 300 lbs, Squad – 132 lbs (I am Constantly Improving on my knew strength. Age 30 I have always feared doing breaking free activities 11, because I knew I had it in me to have sex with other women. From when I was 16 years old, I found out what day game was, me and my friends use to go out and day game using YAD day game model. During college I did the Day Game Blueprint course, and it changed my life better. These were the things that I did when I was younger that resulted in me not having much of an approach anxiety till this day. In the month of January 2024, I have not stopped arguing with my fiancée, I have forgot about all the assertive tools from WISNIFG, and this has resulted to use not having sex this month and i have not FAPP'ED. She is constantly testing me, and I keep on bulking no frame. I have rage inside me and resentment towards her and I find it hard to move on and get out of these modes. Reading the frame by Rian stone has shown me that I don’t have any emotional frame. What I do know that I have is a good Physical frame, I lift heavy, and I do martial arts. I am an engineer and I think I have a decent enough intellectual layer, but I can confidently say that I don’t have much of an emotional layer (3/10) I am either too passive or aggressive. What am I doing about this- Reading frame and re-reading WISNIFG. My misses went to holiday last week with 13 other woman and I took the opportunity to have sex with another woman and I knew I was going to do it. I told myself during the weekend that I was going to do breaking free activities 11 which involved me taking a weekend by myself. I journaled my feelings and thoughts as instructed. On my way to a different city in the UK, I felt anxious, lonely and a little bit weird . After checking in to the hotel I booked. I went to the shop and bought some condoms and went out on a Friday by myself and ended up meeting two cool dudes and they invited me to go out with on Saturday. After coming back from the club, I masturbated with on of the condom's on and i felt pathetic doing it and i stopped and went to bed. On Saturday day time I explored the city by myself and I felt soo happy doing it. My doing this activity showed that I could survive by myself and I don’t always have to rely on people to do new things and explore. During the night i hanged out with the 2 dudes at a club and did 5 approaches with 3 closes. I ended up going back some with one of girls. I did not feel guilty having sex with another, i felt so good after fucking a hotter, younger tighter girl. On my way back, i kept on asking myself do i miss my girl. (No i dont). What value does she provide to me (Lets see when she comes back) i do alot of the house maintenance (i sometimes keep a score board, i working on getting ride of this). "Your wife gets first crack at your libido. And if she doesn't want to play ball, then you find someone else to have sex with. That's it. That's how you improve your sex life. This is what the whole 'fix the man' shit means. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/194huh1/how_to_fix_sex_in_your_marriage/
Cocky_funny
2024-02-01 19:00:25 +0000 UTCYou are a heart breaker! 😝.
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 17:59:21 +0000 UTC@Stripper, I did get the feeling she was more concerned if the other girl was more important to me than her. Honestly as much as I enjoy plate1's company more, if both dropped tomorrow I'll be ok. She did press about this conversation over text the week before so I don't think I have been able to avoid it much longer. I was a bit disappointed on Sunday but I think that's normal if you actually spend time with someone and then part ways.
Ban Mido
2024-02-01 17:46:29 +0000 UTCRsd: close to unwatchable now. Way back he had live infield. $$$
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 16:39:10 +0000 UTCOp sec: I would look for a change in behavior… actions. Not an apology in words. But to your point. Maybe that is still validation seeking.
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 16:32:06 +0000 UTCOwen has become such a grifter(perhaps he always was). Generally if you show interest in his product they'll call you with a "free coaching call", find out about you, put you in state and then use all that try to get you to sign up for some super expensive offering. They won't send you a flyer with their options and prices, or anything other than them verbally controlling the flow of information. Just some asshole salesmen verbally quoting you random shit. They'll use all the tricks that he teaches and get you qualifying yourself for them. He's a guy that's not married and has had problems with LTR's. His mental models when it comes to LTR's come across as blue pill at times. Some of his stuff is useful(was the final straw that got me to stop weed) and if you haven't listened/watched it, "the blueprint" is very good. it's early/pre red pill. Just like anything you might read or listen to, there are no gurus, try it and see what works. Right now, from what Rian has been going on about lately, it looks like all he has managed to do is make you feel a certain way it has not translated to action. That's funny and not surprising that the Dr is using Google to do her job. Reminds me of the Air traffic controller recently. Personally, I used to get sick all the fucking time, lungs were especially bad. Started eating better and drinking much less, and I just don't get sick anymore.
Op Sec
2024-02-01 16:11:29 +0000 UTCFR: * On Saturday night went to plate2's (23y/HB5) place. She made steak and mash potatoes for me. Later we chilled and smashed. She then asked me about being exclusive Me: "I'm not there yet and I'm just keeping it casual for now" Her: "Are you seeing any other girl?" Me: "I'm seeing one other girl as well casually" Her: "What do I mean by casual?" Me: "Just not exclusive" Her: Silent. Then "Does the other girl sleepover?" Me: I lied "No I don't sleepovers with anyone". The other chick has sleptover once but that was mostly a logistical thing because of the weather but I knew admitting that would make things worse Her: "I don't think I can share my partner with others" Me: Silent. Feeling tired Her: "Did you hear what I said" Me: "What?" Her: "I don't think I can share my partner with others. I don't think I can see you anymore" Me: Didn't say anything for a min. Then said "I should probably leave. It's getting late" Her: Silent and cuddled closer Me: I felt bad breaking her heart a bit but I felt being honest with my stance was the best thing for her She then asked if I wanted to take a shower. I said no but she repeated she wants a shower. I took it as she wants to take a shower together with me and I obliged. If this was the last time we'd be together, I didn't mind indulging one of her fantasies. We showered together, made out in the shower, then she packed the leftover dinner for me to take home and I left. While walking to the parking lot, I mentioned how I was feeling a bit sick and she suggested I should sleepover that night. I declined and told her I should go home * Never accept consolation prizes: One lesson I've learnt is if a girl rejects you (soft or hard rejection), then be the first person to leave. Don't stick around offering cuddles or accepting consolation prizes * Feeling guilty saying no: I'm still not used to rejecting people and still feel slightly guilty * She texted on Sunday afternoon that since we want different things she should stop seeing me and take a step back. I replied with "I enjoyed our time together. Maybe things will be different in the future." * I'm starting to see your point about manipulating women; I was thinking what I could say that would manipulate her to keep seeing me. But I realized at the end of the day that's just scarcity thinking; if she's unhappy with me let her find happiness elsewhere. I can always source new plates. * I guess there's nothing like "locking her in"; all relationships are predicated on an exchange of value. If either party is unhappy, wish each other all the best and move on * Also "she's not yours. It's just your turn" * This is my first experience where I consciously was aware and intentional of the whole process from first date -> second date -> texting/logistics -> seeing a girl as a plate while seeing another girl -> to the girl wanting exclusivity -> to the plate falling off. This bird's eye view of the dating process helps me understand a lot of about spinning plates * Plate2 has been texting almost everyday, fishing for my attention. I give an occasional response but want to avoid becoming texting buddies with her. Yesterday she texted saying she probably "fell harder" and "should stop texting me". I didn't respond. I'm honestly busy fixing my schedule and sleep routines to deal with her now * No issues with plate1. Met up on Sunday and told her I dropped the other plate. We met on Tuesday again for weed and sex
Ban Mido
2024-02-01 15:54:57 +0000 UTCI did but didn’t post in time to get Rian’s input. I will post by early moving forward.
Amos_Durden
2024-02-01 15:45:34 +0000 UTCyeah. I don't have the motivation I used to. I've been through a bunch of cars, I bought my dream house and I'm good now. Only thing left is to go from a 10 year nest egg to a don't have to work anymore nest egg, but then what? I'm not chasing a paycheck, that's becoming a side effect. I can sit around and play video games all day but that's not good for me. Right now, I'm going after engagement, as in keeping myself engaged, flow states and loving what I do.
Op Sec
2024-02-01 14:52:26 +0000 UTC@Barbarian seeking / waiting for apology is validation seeking behavior. You don't need it.
Op Sec
2024-02-01 14:44:33 +0000 UTCSo it would be best I do not initiate the convo. Because that's what I have been doing.
Palea
2024-02-01 13:55:36 +0000 UTCStripper: yes, I see the difference. Ty
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 13:40:29 +0000 UTCFound this in my notes. Unless it was another steve mcqueen guy. Nonetheless this guy is quite comical to read. https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/s/8UEMUL43Fd
WishMeLuck
2024-02-01 11:51:31 +0000 UTCThis post feels reactive. As stripper points out. You are angry she is not keeping her side of a contract. Lighten up. Enjoy these shitty moments of parenthood. 😂
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 07:03:54 +0000 UTCdidn't you post some of this in the previous week ?
Fez
2024-02-01 07:00:03 +0000 UTCIt is a boundary issue. She wants to dig into the content of your writing. You: “ you invaded my personal space. I don’t trust you. “. Her: you said this and that…. You: do not reply to that. Broken record: you broke my trust. Negative inquiry: what if I secretly recorded your bitch sessions with your confidents:friends? I am not into dishonest relationships. If she does not budge it shows you were the relationship is. I would not deer on anything in the writing. Repeat: Do not engage conversations about the content in your writing. Frame: I will work on myself and grow anyway I fucking want to. Let’s talk about you digging through my shit and why I should keep you in my life?
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:53:05 +0000 UTCYou are 25. Moving around in the military. How old are the girls? Why do you want them hanging around? Generally beta traits gets women to stick. Provider traits, a future that they want to be apart of.
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:44:35 +0000 UTCThese are quite some results. Think about slowing down. Drastic change that happens over night gets that kind of reaction… “I don’t know who you are.” Turn up the heat slowly but steadily. ? Maybe?
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:40:39 +0000 UTCSocial situation : dinner. Yes, let go. Be a child and in the moment. Owen,rsd: “pull the stick out of your ass!” The mindset to having a great time at that boring, overpriced setting. 😝
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:37:04 +0000 UTCKeep it simple. Focus on the basics: gym routine, get laid, learn to be a social animal, wardrobe, hygiene, join a martial art, get male friends. Set clear easy goals you do each week. Report in past tense. Do not be surprised by the comments if you post this kind of post. Movies are shunned here but you should watch fight club. Let go of the testicular cancer group stuff. Do the work.
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:31:24 +0000 UTCYea I saw it as an invasion of my privacy. It's not something I have talked about with her though, not sure how I would approach it now or if it is too late. For now I have just been doing memory of a goldfish. I start fresh, I face rejections then I just fuck off and do my own thing with the kids or by myself. And I have some money saved up to hold me over on my own 3 maybe 4 months.
Palea
2024-02-01 06:26:43 +0000 UTCIs she over weight? Physically healthy? Hormones (most likeli what she is taking)
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:24:15 +0000 UTCThis might be more appropriate for last week. Her digging through your field notes should be viewed as if you ease dropped on her shrink sessions. I would hold her to that. If she dies not authentically apologize (will never happen) and change her bullshit I would be preparing to leave. It is a serious breach of trust. Sounds like you are doing that.
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 06:19:56 +0000 UTCR&P 256 It was shark week :P Managed some smashes towards the end of it. Logistics with the kids and wakeful nights hampered the spirit to smash but also brought out some ill temper and emotions to squash and fog. Wife deferred to me, asking what she should do about going back to work and putting the youngest in care. I suggested it would be good for both of them to have some time away. For the little one, it's a chance to socialize a couple of days a week, and for my wife, it's an opportunity to work and earn some $. I acknowledged that it would take some time to transition, and the logistics of managing household and work would be an adjustment. She would only work school hours anyway. The extra income will afford us the opportunity to purchase a better property in the area I want. Rather than settling for a rundown shack or something further away from where I prefer to live.
Fez
2024-02-01 06:10:07 +0000 UTC@oms. Ok! You can put my writings in your canon! They are quite impactful! I know. 😝
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 05:37:09 +0000 UTCDefinitely concerned about the health effects. She also went on an SSRI a month ago despite my recommendation that she considered alternatives to SSRIs. I’ve noticed she seems even more bland and indifferent about most things since getting on them. I can’t and don’t want to control her, but I make my opinion known even if she chooses to ignore me.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-02-01 03:53:13 +0000 UTCYea she possibly did lose attraction. There is anger there on her side, which I have heard Ryan say is good and you can work with that.. But again, I have to keep doing what I'm doing and not focus on that. The one thing that does get to me is being told to "watch" myself because I almost lost my family once. I was told today that if I keep it up with the smart remarks I will end up alone and miserable, to which i just replied " oh yea?, damn that sucks for me." A couple of comfort test today, "you don't care." But she's being a bitch so I didn't comfort. Yea I will definitely keep things on the low. If I do it with anyone it will be with some college chick. One of the girls I mentioned is 22. I just need to practice escalating. I get nervous just thinking about escalating
Palea
2024-02-01 03:50:23 +0000 UTCThanks for clarifying Shit/Comfort tests. I have had what you are describing up until recently. So now its just cunty behavior it seems. As far as scorched earth, because of school, my income has been reduced. Other than that I have been doing most of everything around here. She does pitch in. As I type, she just made me a homemade pizza, but has rejected all affection/sexual advances the past couple of weeks. I handle those well though. As far as other women, I have not escalated past a phone number, but I love to fuck and its been a couple of weeks now. I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about escalating with other girls. Thanks for the advice and info, it clears things up
Palea
2024-02-01 01:57:34 +0000 UTCField report: January 20th, 2024. Woke up in the middle of the night because my son was coughing. Made him some tea and warmed up a rice bag for his chest. I didn't even notice until the morning, but she had texted me if I could get up because she took NyQuil or some shit and she was sleepy. So I only slept a few hours last night. When I woke up in the morning, I found out that my daughter now has pink eye as well. Which means the cleanup wasn't really done right to prevent it from spreading. She was in charge of that. So now we got to deal with pink eye in my daughter as well. I took some Lysol wipes and I wiped everything upstairs. Woke up my wife, asked her to wipe everything downstairs, wash the bed sheets. And the towels. She complied. I go downstairs. And I try to start the process of putting eye drops in my son's eyes. But mom's coddled him to where she has this weird thing where she puts eye drops in his eyes while they're closed. Then he opens them and they kind of get in, but they don't. It's a whole shit show. So I'm trying to teach him how to do it right. He doesn't want to do it right. He's fucking crying. It's traumatizing. It's frustrating the fuck out of me. She comes down and starts to lecture me on, you know, having a better attitude and how I shouldn't be frustrated. And all this shit. And I didn't take any of it. I just told her, look, I can be frustrated. Everybody can be frustrated. Not only mommy gets to be frustrated because she woke up on the wrong side of the bed. At least I have reasons behind why I'm frustrated. (I didn't give her those reasons.) At this point it's 9:30AM and I've been officially up since 7AM and my goal is to get the fuck out of the house so I can go work out but shit keeps poping up that I need to handle it's been one thing after another. In the morning I usually make these vitamin packs for the whole family. Vitamin C, vitamin D, whatever we need for the season. Kids vitamins form yesterday still on the counter. Meaning she didn't make sure to have them take them all day yesterday. (Pet peeve of mine). So, I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to make my vitamins. So, I told her. (In retrospect I should have just shut the fuck up and done that but not said anything about it.) Me: "I'm not making your vitamins today. I'm just going to make mine." Her: "Just make mine in anger." Me: "No, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to make your vitamins." Her: Why? Me: I just don't feel like doing it today. I'm not going to do it. So, I didn't fucking do it and I feel fucking amazing about that choice. And now she can do her own vitamins, which she fucking won't. Because it's a pain in the ass. PS forgot to mention the part that really pissed me off. She does this thing where she lets my son blot his eyes with the tissue right after she puts the eyedrops in. And I keep fucking telling her. That's not smart to do because it takes the eyedrops out of his eyes. And she tries to argue against it by saying shit like: "If that's the case, why didn't the doctor tell us not to do that?" I know that it takes about five minutes for the eye to fully absorb an eyedrop. I try to explain this to her. And she just won't fucking get it. So, I finally said: "OK fine. I'll call the doctor and we'll ask." We had to call anyway to check on something else. When they picked up I didn't ask it, because it felt fuckign stupid: "Hey does it make sense to wipe out the eye drops you just put in with a tissue right after you put them in?" You'll love this part instead after I got off the call this happpened: Daughter: "Hey mommy why didn't daddy ask about the napkin and eyedrops" Her: "Because even if they would have said no that's ok he would have just said they don't know what they are talking about." In retrospect I should have asked it.
ThatGuy
2024-02-01 01:48:01 +0000 UTC45 Thoughts on the stairs from last week. Relinquishing authority to Drs. From last weeks fn about being called lazy I came across these two quotes that resonate with embracing one’s frame (reality) and moving ones Overton window towards narcissism. As exemplified by Trumps display of frame. Rian patreon: #26 (jan 31 2020) I am terrified of doing any alpha male like the 1% fluffing… branding. It’s a bad vibe… my catch phrase is, “You ain’t shit and that is ok.” Owen (Rsd): “Most strive to be king of the bettas: the high value man, 666 plan. But ‘living in the world’ is as simple as being present.” He is referring to a MM where men either live in the world (embrace their reality/frame: very attractive) or they service/labor in the world (compensate/seek validation/666plan: unattractive) The quotes resonated because they are the core of nmmng. You must be ok living for yourself (even impaired) with zero shits given. Authority Kid and wife had a lingering cough. I called my health pro and she suggested a nebulizer protocol we used during covid. We all used it for a few days and things got a little better in the kid but wife’s cough lingered, so we made a drs appointment. Due to my kids medical history I had to go to the dr appointment (Orwellian topic for another time.) Wife was there as well because of her symptoms. I told the dr about the nebulizer protocol. The dr says she does not know about the protocol and then returned with a Reuters fact check print out and said it is bad and that the lungs should be ex rayed. My wife starts freaking out, has big emotions, blames me, and wants to get ex rays for her and the child. Ex ray! I know this is bullshit immediately. Me to the DR: “Sure, xrays. Please subscribe the steroids so we can leave.” After, I gave my wife the Reuters print out and said “this is where the dr is doing her research.” (subtext: Reuters fact check is paid for propaganda) Later the dr texted the info about scheduling ex rays. I forward it to the wife. I left out my thoughts. (subtext: you do you. I will do me. Scorched earth.) She text me about giving the kid steroids. I did not respond. Kid asks me if she ruined her lungs. I tell her “How do your lungs feel after nebulizing?” Great. “Do they feel like they are on fire… going to explode?” No, the mucus loosens up and I feel better. “Lesson of the day, Drs are idiots. Remember that.” I double checked my homework on it and called my health professional again. My daughter and I still use the nebulizer and plan on using it sporadically throughout the winter. We have been getting sick from her school every other week and this will reduce that. Rp: this is an example of not trusting (or accepting) the captain. I dealt with it with scorched earth. You do you and I will do me. This is a small example. It is easy to see how If you magnify the problem it would shred a relationship.
Cousin Eddie
2024-02-01 01:43:14 +0000 UTCYou sound like some loathsome emo kid. Some of those still get laid. When I have low self esteem, when I'm feeling really down, and I approach someone, I get the best results. Low self esteem is just another way of not having expectations. Sometimes I'll even get approached then. I figure I'm going to get blown out anyway so good day to do that. You seem like you are going through some shit and have some stupid feelings. Yeah, that's expected. At the same time figure out how to make them work for you. Yeah, first you notice where you are fucking up. Then you notice as you are fucking up. Then you notice before you fuck up. Then you notice and stop fucking up. It's a process.
Op Sec
2024-02-01 01:09:53 +0000 UTCThings are going well for me. My focus has continued to be on my work. I’ve been very upfront to management about what I want to work on. I picked a new manager, and she’s started coaching me up for the next level at the company. I also applied for a new job that might fit me very well(mostly to see what I’m worth on the market, but who knows). Professionally, I had been coasting. I had stopped being motivated by money once I got enough. I’ve got a 10 year war chest, took steps to doing cool shit / investments with a partner. On the relationship side things are going well. Wife is in the bathroom. Naked in front of the mirror, so of course I’m going to grab that ass. As soon as I start, she pulls it away, and “hi”, in a fuck off sort of way. I had work to do. She comes by my office an hour later, asks me about my schedule so she can plan some sex. Wife had sex with me even though in visibly terrible physical condition, which is such a stark contrast to what had been for many years “I don’t feel good”, this time, “I felt terrible, but wanted to have sex, so I can feel close to you”. Also reminded me of the 700 reasons women have sex. I invited wife to an event I participated in, she showed up and got really into the sport. It was very much that thing where they will like the stuff you like. I gave her praise for showing up and having interest. Later I realized that I got this backward, sharing this part of my life was the reward. This makes me chuckle. I hit her up in the morning, and she says, “later, in the afternoon”. I go take a shit, and she’s knocking on the door wanting me to have sex with her, right then. she says “I don’t want you to be mad at me”, “K”. I was invited to dinner with some new friends and enjoyed it, had fun. It sounds stupid to say, but I used to not look forward to these types of situations. Fuck, nothing matters, might as well enjoy yourself. You can always find something to do.
Op Sec
2024-02-01 00:58:47 +0000 UTCHere’s the Alpha as Wolf post. I cannot find the earlier posts where he tried to sleep with his sick wife and the incident he forgot his phone at home. https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/s/bP8xVsTUb0
WishMeLuck
2024-02-01 00:40:02 +0000 UTCI have been going scorched earth for some time now. I am on my third week of nursing school and I have been surrounded by women. So far I got two numbers and had coffee with one, I tried the cube one her, my first time trying it on someone who wasn't a friend or relative, and later she text me to tell me she had fun. It's not much but It has been a huge improvement for me. Other than that just some flirting. The wife's behavior changed overnight. It began when my 15 year old daughter who has been alienated came over about 3 weeks ago. My wife and her were very close up until the past year or two when my daughter suddenly did not want to visit anymore. I am not assuming that is what caused the change, just making an observation. This has happened in the past a few times the past year or two, just never to this extent. Usually as I mentioned, I play peacemaker and try to reconcile. If not a shit test, then a comfort test? What I mean by hostility, I just mean bitchy. Smart ass remarks, attitude, raised her voice a couple of times?
Palea
2024-02-01 00:14:58 +0000 UTCI am concerned about how accepting you are of medication. Unintended side effect? Messing with her hormones? Blurring the feedback, you’re getting from your MAP? Does any of that factor in? Its good that she is trying. Shows she is invested.
will zill
2024-02-01 00:10:32 +0000 UTC"becoming more like the "fun guy" or skittles man?" Wear it like a skin suit? My man you are in the army for a reason. You lack any real identity, direction or standard for you or your life. If you had any you wouldn't be wearing another man's uniform. In that realization is the answer you're looking for. You don't know yourself, what you think you like, and your preferences aren't yours. Who are you?
will zill
2024-02-01 00:05:49 +0000 UTCQuit whining. Get some perspective! The alternative is far more painful! Daddy Issues (Not RP) - My stepfather was violet and abusive. The coping mechanisms I created to deal with that situation have been a gift. How I approached it, I call it a “fuck you-thank you”. Kinda like a compliment sandwich. Get crystal clear on all the issues you had and the things that were not acceptable, the internalized toxic shame, and faulty beliefs. Find the positives flow on effects that these conditions have had for you, if you can’t find it that means you have some soul searching and growing up to do. When you have them, rehearse the conversation (get neurotic) explore every possible outcome and come to an acceptance of each. Once you a fine with every outcome, initiate the conversation, make sure you leave nothing unsaid (do not allow your emotions to speak for you). If you do this correctly, you will find that initiating the conversation is all that you need. And that finishing the conversation is for them not you(this was the only time I ever saw him cry). From this point you renegotiate the relationship on equal footing, self respect and boundary enforcement are critical for not falling into familiar patterns. As for the rest of the report you are paying attention to yourself. Catching your mistakes is a very important step. Try notice them sooner. Reflect on your motives before you do or agree to anything. NMMNG on repeat! Clear our covert contracts, start treating yourself as though you are valuable!
will zill
2024-01-31 22:54:23 +0000 UTCI started going to the gym again last week, after being sick. I feel kinda gloomy and low self-esteem lately, but after the gym it is much better for a while. It is very hard to come back here week after week and get called on my shit. I know I need to hear it, why be here when I don’t want to be challenged? But it is painful. I know I am not doing well. And I fear the disapproval of a bunch of internet strangers. That is one of my big issues: fear of conflict and disapproval. I came to think that it is because I was always scared of my dad and still am to be honest. Maybe I need some kind of confrontation with him, just to show myself I can hold my ground against him. But I am scared I am not there yet. I am not thinking about beating his ass, but something like telling him I am disappointed how he treated me in an emotional situation a few years ago. Just standing up for myself against him. Or just openly disagreeing with him on something, even a minor thing. But that's new year's resolution stuff. Any advice on that? I set what you said last time as the background of my phone: “Did I DEER? Stop. Doing. That. Did I explain myself? Stop. Doing. That. Did I provide value without getting something in return? Stop. Doing. That.” I am explaining myself a lot. And providing value for free a lot. But I am trying to be aware. Just the day I am writing this: I was telling my boss I needed to work from home the next day and told him, without him asking, the reason I needed to be home. And I did buy something small for vacation girl. She asked me to get it, if I am at the store and see it. But when coming home later, an old lady told me that one of my head lights was out. I asked which one and said thanks. The last time one needed to be changed, someone told me and I was jumping into explanations of how I already noticed but did not have the time to fix it. Not doing that was a small win, even though it wasn’t really a conscious decision. A few days before that I even could stop myself from providing value for free. Vacation girl asked me if I could bring a package to the post office for her. That was a tough one, but she did nothing to deserve me running errands for her. I started reading NMMNG again. And one of the things I do I am actually aware of is withholding information, because of shame. So I decided to call the buddy I got the viagra from and tell him that vacation girl is the first girl I had sex with. Something I was pretty ashamed of. He told me that he figured. Which kind of surprised me, but shows that you can not really hide from the people that know you. And I told him that I also slept with another girl, which I also was trying to hide. Hiding the badness as someone pointed out in the comments. He was surprised but did not care and made a joke about it. Which was nice. But did that in organic conversation. To really do the breaking free exercises I can not only rely on organic conversation. I just noticed, this is als nice guy shit to try to get that covertly instead of asking if it's cool if I just sometimes call and tell him shit… I wonder if this field report was any good. Maybe some short info segment on what to put in and what to leave out would be nice. How can I use field reports to move myself forward? Or are there already resources for that?
Am I red yet
2024-01-31 21:49:35 +0000 UTCHell yea, that's still the plan. I'm still shopping around. I'm getting one either way.
Palea
2024-01-31 20:16:18 +0000 UTCWould you still be getting another vehicle if you knew for sure divorce was looming? Pretend she is dead.
Op Sec
2024-01-31 19:40:53 +0000 UTC1/31 Framing everything as getting better at the various skills that make a man attractive has really helped reduce any resentment I feel towards my wife. I took a few showers with my wife with no expectations of sex. Just helped wash each other's bodies, kissed a few times, and then I got dressed and worked on stuff I needed to do. Been sticking to my workout schedule and eating better. Got a membership at planet fitness just to get out of the house after I put our kid to bed, but I still have the home gym when I want to use a barbell or power rack. There were a few times this past week where my wife has tried to get me to eat dessert with her or she’s made something unhealthy for dinner. I’ve told her I want to eat better and stay within my calorie goals so I’ll have to pass. She mentioned she’s looking for healthier meals to cook for the next two weeks. Last night my Wife told me she got approved for a medication (via injection) that supposedly increases female sex drive. I was genuinely curious about it as I’d never heard of it and wanted to know how it worked scientifically. What I observed is that I didn’t get excited about the hope and possibility for more sex. Instead I was more interested in the fact that she showed interest to fix a problem in our relationship, regardless of whether this method is complete bullshit or not. I guess I realized how unattractive I’ve been and see this as the real reason for the dead bedroom, not her “libido” being the issue or her thinking she has Generalized Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)… which seems like a bullishit justification of not being attracted to a husband. I realize this news means nothing though, as her actions are what will really matter (does she fuck me). I also got NMMNG, WISNIFG, praxeology frame, and praxeology dread on Audible to listen to while I plow through spreadsheets at work.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-01-31 19:07:33 +0000 UTCIt's been two weeks of no sex and mostly silent treatment. When there is any type of conversation, It is mostly hostility and shit test. Last week I mentioned my field reports were found. This silent treatment and no sex started a few days before that. This has been the longest I have ever held frame. Usually after a few days I would cave and try to reconcile. So for that I am proud of myself but admittedly it is difficult. I still notice sings of investment by doing things like cooking for me and serving me dinner. Last night she did not cook for me. The night before, my wife was going to have my daughter sleep in our bed. My daughter started crying after I told her she will be sleeping in her own bed. My wife shit test me through this, I asked my daughter to go grab something. Wife: I don't Have to do what you say Me: yes you do. I'm King Shit remember Her: Blah blah blah...Good luck, You can be single Me: Godspeed woman My daughter was still crying. I turned it into a game and told my daughter we will race to see who can fall asleep faster but she has to sleep in her own bed. It worked well. My daughter was excited to beat me. Wife did not say shit after that. I am in need of a third vehicle for the family. I found a car I like and mentioned it to the wife. Her: I don't know if we need a third vehicle, we're not ok. Me: We're not? Her: Stop playing stupid. Me: Who's Playing (with a big grin) The door got shut on my face after that. I will continue to wake up everyday as if nothing happened. I am going to stay on mission.
Palea
2024-01-31 18:52:10 +0000 UTC"due to pre-deployment workups taking a lot of my free time" Bullshit. You can approach people anywhere. It's harder to cold approach, that's why you don't do it. If you're staying somewhere for some time, tipping well on the place you're going to mainly source girls from is a good idea. Are you leading with pure anxiety/alpha or do you do any cuddling/comfort/beta stuff?
Owning My Shit
2024-01-31 18:12:20 +0000 UTCA girl ramping up sex out of nowhere can be a red flag. Don't start celebrating so much that you become blind. Keep your head on a swivel.
Owning My Shit
2024-01-31 18:09:12 +0000 UTCI still had some remaining vacation time to take. So I had my personal ideas as to how to occupy this time. But I just shoot the following to my wife: "Hey, I still have some remaining vacation time. What about you ?". I was ready for the usual "no...", but I got a "Yes, I decide on something". I replied "OK" without knowing what to expect. After 2 weeks, she says "I have found something for us. There is this nice hotel, ...". I said "OK, that sound good to me, let's book that". We did the booking together. Next time I take the computer, there will be less friction. First time in a while that she has some time off and we can do something together. We traveled to the hotel, I head to the swimming pool and go back to the room after that. I find her on the bed reading in nice lingerie. I initiate and off to fun time. After dinner, we went back to the room. Back in lingerie and back to fun time. This went for the whole week. twice a day. Upon return, I initiate and still got it. OK, I will not ask "How many BJ are too many ?". I appreciated the journey, but also needed to pause. Now: Why ? What ? How come ... ? I don't need to know the answers, but I am still surprised. Of course I never asked anything, just rolled with it. Don't care, got laid. I am still surprised though. After some cooling off period. I am back on a bad track record as before. It's all on me though, because I need to initiate more and push more for it. She never put back the lingerie. Not that it would change something. Is there more here than what I wrote ? What am I not "just getting it" ?
Mac
2024-01-31 17:57:45 +0000 UTCQ&A #256 from a single guy Age: 25 5'7 Fitness: - Gym 4/wk + Run/walk 4 miles a day - additional misc. workouts due to military Bench: 215 Squat: 245 Deadlift: 365 Added two more notches in the last couple of weeks, which is solid improvement from where I was back in December where I had zero leads. Still relying more heavily on the apps and haven't made progress incorporating cold approach into my daily routine due to pre-deployment workups taking a lot of my free time. Beginning to work out the logistics for my next duty station, It'll be a shore station so I'll have plenty of time to dedicate to this. There's a gentrified yuppie/boardwalk area nearby that will be my primary spot for sourcing plates. Any input from you gents as to most capitalize on the area or how to setup the bachelor pad to provide the most utility in that regard? Also I struggle to keep one-night-stands coming back. I'll usually get 3 meet-ups out of them at most, we'll always smash but then it fizzles out. Any resources as to better get plates spinning? I think I'm too boring with my lifestyle to be captivating long-term. Any field reports out there about intentionally becoming more like the "fun guy" or skittles man?
Lance Narcissus
2024-01-31 17:56:39 +0000 UTCI appreciated the feedback from my first field report and am incorporating more OODA loops and welcome more feedback with this submission. I didn't meet the deadline for Rian feedback so I added follow-up from last weeks report. Reading My reading since last year has been: WISNIFG, NMMNG, Married Man Sex Life Primer, Rational Male, Practical Female Psychology, Frame and most recently Dread. I started rereading NMMNG this week and am halfway through Mystery Method. Knowing the content is one thing but internalizing and turning it into action is another. This week my focus was on assertiveness and not letting my fear of my wife’s emotions stop me from compromising my boundaries. Fitness I was 215lbs and 24% body fat last year before I started doing a 3-day split routine (Chest/Tricep, Back/Bicep, Legs/Shoulder) in February 2023. Incorporate 3-days of cardio as well. Tracking my TDEE and calorie intake with the CarbManager app. You were right, why was I focusing on a home gym vs. going out to a gym? I was lying to myself that it was more convenient at home or that it was cheaper in the long run. As I reflected on it more it was really because I was afraid of my wife’s reaction to leaving after the kids went to bed and leaving her alone in the house vs. staying in the garage to workout. I was using the home gym as a way to avoid a fight. I signed up for the gym in town this week and sure enough, once I told her I was going to be going to the gym after the kids are in bed she got upset. Once we put the kids to bed I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. She started getting amped up and saying I am making all these decisions without her and I am being selfish and it is cutting into “us time”. She started to raise her voice so I got my keys from the other room and left. While at the gym she texted me and said either I can find a couples counselor or she will but she won’t live like this anymore and she doesn’t know who I am anymore. I ignored the text. When I got home she was in bed and we didn’t say anything to eachother the rest of the night. In the past I would have sat next to her and asked her how she was feeling or fishing to try and fix it. I resisted and just STFU, not sure if this was the right move or not but it was at least different than what I had done in the past so I’ll observe the outcome. I have no interest in going to counseling so I am planning for this to be a boundary she is going to test. Fitness Update: I'm not going back to the at home gym shit, my workouts are much better at the gym and I was more deliberate with output. Relationship Earlier in the week we actually had a great weekend. Kids were staying at the grandparents so we had a hotel for two nights. I went into the weekend as a way to practice playing with her emotions to see what type of response I could get. I took her to a speakeasy (didn’t tell her where we were going) and we had drinks and food. Kept things light and flirty with touching and kissing as the night went on. On the way back to the car I told her to get in the backseat, fooled around in the backseat in the parking lot. Continued back at the hotel and built eachother up all night with oral back and forth. In the morning she put on lingerie and we had enthusiastic sex. I used this weekend to cut out a covert contract. In the past my covert contract was, get hotel for us, expect hot sex, get butthurt if it didn’t happen as I planned. Different this time was that I went into the weekend not expecting passionate monkey sex. If I wanted more passionate sex I should try to play with her emotions and see what result that would get. A comment on my last post stuck with me and I have been running it over in my head “What does you wife do for you, not for the family, but just you.” This has helped me look objectively this week and apply the 2/3rds rule. I already been keeping the house up to my standard and my timeline and it has shown me how little she is contributing besides babysitting the kids and doing laundry. Update: The next 4-days after the gym fight I got the cold shoulder on her part. We still talked and covered logistics but when I went to kiss her she would turn her head and wouldn't kiss me on the lips. I kept things light by still joking and acting like nothing was bothering me but I was very uncomfortable. Instead of trying to fix her feelings by asking her what was wrong like I would do in the past I didn't engage to try to and fix it just acted like nothing had happened. Over the weekend had brunch with friends, watched the football game at a friends house and the husband and I spent the whole time outside smoking cigars and watching the game while the girls and kids were inside. That night when the kids went to bed she brought up how she doesn't recognize me anymore and I have become so unfeeling when I tell her I am doing things (gym) and I don't involve her and I am abandoning the family. I told her the gym is important to me. More feelings conveyed on her part and I heard her saying she is worried I am leaving her behind and she wont be enough. Right or wrong I took this as a comfort test so I hugged her but didn't tell her I will never leave like I would have done in the past. This softened her and we hugged and went to bed. The next day I acted like nothing happened, normal morning as usual with smiles and cheerful attitude. Gym that night when the kids went to bed with no argument on her part. Watched a show together and flirted and joked with her, ramped up touching and physical affection, negged her a bit. Escalated and got to the point of smashing and right before she tells me she isn't in the mood for intimate hugging and deep kisses, she is horny but her emotions are not there yet. I had never heard this from her before in our entire relationship so I didn't know where to put the comment. I didn't say anything and just hopped on top of her and was more aggressive than I normally am. After we finish she brings up why the gym is so important to me and she doesn't understand why I am working out more and when is it going to be enough for me. I picked up from her that she is feeling inadequate as she has been gaining weight while I have been losing it. I used this as practice to guide the hamster out of the maze. Reflected her feelings back to her and took a different approach than in the past by not trying to fix or offer her solutions to her problem but just letting her feel her feelings. Added some humor at the end and went to bed. Tried new things with mixed results, still fucked up but learned where not to continue fucking up by opening my mouth.
Amos_Durden
2024-01-31 17:30:49 +0000 UTCHere's we need to talk. https://www.forums.red/p/TheRedPill/3644/we_need_to_talk_and_other_ways_of_controlling_the_flow_of_i Not practicing being fun but actually being fun That's from whinemoreplease on frame. https://whinemoreplease.substack.com/p/men-with-no-frame-and-the-things The quote is Because you don't project it you stupid bitch. You learn how to embrace positivity and enjoy life for what it is. Otherwise, it's all horseshit and all you're doing is pretending to be a clown. Here's a hint - clowns aren't actually happy. I called it practicing being fun in my last report.
Op Sec
2024-01-31 16:12:30 +0000 UTCThe cannon posts are becoming more and more of a hassle to find. Some archives have been shut down and the ones that exist might go down anytime. Also, it’s tough to find the good shit between so many fucking posts from retards. So, I’ve created a private subreddit where I’ve uploaded most of the posts that we link here, tagged by author. The goal is also to save time by redirecting people there instead of having to look for the same posts over and over again and not depending on outsource archives. Also, it’s easier to find shit through the search within the sub. Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillCannon/ I’ve invited you to be a mod so that you can add posts you see missing. To the guys, check if the thing works and for those who find important posts missing and would like to help mod the place, reply with your reddit usernames. I’ve found the original pdf file of the full DiCarlo escalation ladder and the original jumbotron rule post and posted them in the sub. Posts I can’t find: • If you start with “there is this one girl”, you’re doing it wrong • I am steve mcqueen
Owning My Shit
2024-01-31 15:51:58 +0000 UTC
