Story Concepts, Guilt and Excuses

I'm a creative deadzone y'all. Have been for months, despite my best efforts. There's a big part of me that feels like I should be focusing on C6 regardless of whatever mixed feelings I'm having about it. I owe y'all a conclusion to this arc at the very least. Can't deny that I want to see Blackstone get the shit kicked out of her as well. The obligatory tragic villain backstory I wrote her with contains a lot of elements I don't like messing with anymore and it's a big part of what's made working on this arc difficult, even besides all the unsavory elements I've included.

To put it bluntly: The me I am today doesn't like the casual sexual violence and trauma-focused stories that have driven the narrative all this time. I was in my late 20s when I came up with the concept for C6 and still pretending to be a man. I'm 46 now, have transitioned, live openly as a woman (happily, I might add) and can't connect with the material the way my former self could. I've also had multiple breakdowns and have been in therapy to deal with some decidedly unpleasant traumas in my past that have left me with a rather impressive-looking list of mental disorders lol. My point is, C6 became much harder for me to write because of the sexual violence. And it's put a big wedge in my creative process.

I assumed freeing myself from responsibility to C6 would allow my creative juices to flow and bring a flurry of inspired content from me. It hasn't, clearly. I've been writing C6 so long that I'm somewhat at a loss. I have no creative direction. I have no stories to tell I'd consider meaningful or entertaining. And for the past several months I've just kind of sat here or taken long walks around the neighborhood trying to figure out what to write. I've tried my hand several times with BDSM-oriented 'gag-strips' with spin-offs like CollarV or L6 but I don't think those really worked. Largely because, well, I'm just not funny.

Fact remains, however, that I get paid to produce bdsm strips and I haven't produced much of anything in recent months and it's costing me. I have to make something and I have to make something now. So I've got a few concepts I wanted to throw out here to get feedback on.

-Concept #1: (And to be fair, this one isn't really a concept) Just keep doing C6. Throw in d6 (the tabletop one) here and there.

-Concept #2: An alternate C6 setting that revolves around what I could only call 'bondage duels' or 'bdsm battles' that are held in Venus City's Collarsseum (like where they had the spank-off). The existing cast would be slightly re-imagined to be 'clans' or 'houses' with a ruling head of household (like Sixx running House of Sixx or Evita running House Butterfly) who meet monthly to engage in bdsm-themed 'battles'. And by battles I mean various BDSM-themed competitions that would usually end in orgasmic bliss. This setting would allow me to do my stupid BDSM-meets-shonen-manga without having a lot of sexual violence.

-Concept #3: A more grounded, real-world setting with two characters who are hiding parts of themselves. One, a self-professed 'femcel' who dresses in very heavy, or loose-fitting clothing to hide the Dominatrix gear she wears underneath, the other a self-described 'femboy' who routinely wears female garments underneath their day-to-day clothing. Naturally these two would interact, with the 'femcel' discovering the 'femboy's' pension for feminization and it becomes a comedy romance in which the Domina pursues the subbie 'femboy' with BDSM-oriented romantic intent.

This one (concept #3) I'm a bit timid on because I don't want to risk offending or upsetting anyone, but I think it's a fun silly idea. I've talked about this one on the C6 Discord and I'm calling it Fem x Fem.

So yeah, those are the concepts I've been dwelling on the most and I'd really like to hear y'alls thoughts on these. Maybe I'll run a poll.

Now for the traumadump segment of my post wherein I further attempt to justify my lack of output: Still in therapy, have been assigned a crisis management team to help cut back on my hospitalizations. I've been put on Seroquel this past week for anxiety and it's taking some getting used to as it triggers my epilepsy (despite the fact that I'm already on carbamazepine). My current therapist was set to hand me off to another team after they determined I required 'a higher level of care' but after my protests (and lots of crying lol) they've arranged to continue being my therapist for which I am super grateful. Seriously, I like my therapist and I'm not a therapy person. For anyone curious, my current diagnosiseseseses are Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. It all sounds pretty impressive, but it ultimately just means I'm a 46 year old shut in with the social skills of a drunken old cat and frequent thoughts (and a few attempts) at self-removal if ya know what I mean. I'm not trotting this crap out because I'm looking for a pity-party. Most of y'all who know me from Discord have listened to me whine about this shit for years and are no doubt tired of hearing about it. But the fact remains these conditions have made recent years and my creative endeavors far more complicated than I'd like. And in the continued interest of transparency, I'm choosing to yet again talk about it here.

And that's finally it! Sorry for the rambling, the poor construction of all these ideas and wordspew and trauma dumping but I felt like I at least owe y'all explanations (or excuses really) for the content drought. Please don't feel obligated to address the self-pitying traumadump stuff. Just curious to hear what y'all think of my story concepts. Look forward to hearing from ya! Meantime, I've been working (slowly) on a new d6 page I hope y'all will enjoy. See y'all soon and thanks for the love, support and readership y'all. Love y'all~