let me prepare you (SUPER NSFW)

I wanted to draw something hotter with new angle🔥

I always want to try new poses and new ideas... ofc it requires time and energy and I often overthink, will people who view it like it? Will anyone complain that it's too much? Of course I get relief when I see appreciation, so I thank everyone who supports - it means world to me 💜

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Kindly reminder for new patrons!

• Do not share/repost my NSFW art publicly or privately!
• Do not send my NSFW art to anyone through messages!

My NSFW art is only for personal viewing. My art is alternate universe reality/world fiction and it claims nothing about real people. My art is not commercial. I draw erotic art and share it privately only for entertainment. If you find that some other repost my NSFW art please ask them to remove their repost or otherwise report them for sharing other's private art. Please respect the author's (humanlouvre) copyright and privacy. Thank you.

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warning: lots of boring text

Ik it's funny that I have to copy paste this everytime I post a new art... well I just have to 😭😭😭 You know the everlasting hate I get from people is sometimes just too much...

I don't think if anyone cares about my opinion anyways and it's ok nvm but I'd like to speak out what's been on my mind recently... I won't hide it sometimes I feel unmotivated and tired when there's so much... ugh criticism towards NSFW artists like me.

When I do my best not to look at the comments just to avoid negativity, well but I need positive comments to get some motivation and so when I scroll and then boom -  I came across some shitty hate. I mean... I get hate even from so-called shippers who judge me like how dare I sexualize real people and blah blah. Even after I did so many disclaimers and explained everything. At times it baffles me so much I'm just out of words.

Lately I just try not to read any comments even at cost of lack of motivation, and then the inner fear of pressure is always there, like "oh, I know they hate me". I also try to motivate myself by thinking "I know, someone loves my art", but oh it's just so hard.

Like. Every week I get a notification on my email that my twitter is being reported. every. week. nah, almost everyday some people patrolling my accounts and faithfully report it. Fortunately I get a notif from official twitter that my page does not violate anything. But that's only for now. I mean my pages has been deleted many times before. My AUs has been removed too (from wattpad & IG etc.). Come on, how much hate can some people have to give so much attention and time to report some poor ass artist like me?

Ugh what did I do? It's just a fanart. Something I do out of love and adoration for two special people. It's difficult for NSFW artists to survive in fandoms, specially artists who draw AU's based on RPS (real person slash) - they get the most pressure and risk their mental health because of constant criticism outside and inside fandom, yet we get not so much support. Defending an NSFW artist is like a taboo and therefore no wonder that the community of those people who appreciate freedom of art also feel this pressure.

I'm not surprised why a lot of people from the fandom leave me or ignore me, soft block or disappear completely. Their choice though, no blame. It won't ever make me feel ashamed of who I am and what I create.

In this post before I told about the history how I came to drawing NSFW art. I'm glad that I am confident about myself and no one's opinion will change me. Yet the constant pressure from the outside sometimes can trigger a lot of bad feelings. I'm not a lifeless stone to be devoid of emotions and feelings, I can feel hurt too.

I wouldn't want to feed myself with toxic positivity like pretending I'm fine and that I don't pay attention. No, I admit, I can feel pain, and so much pain it's difficult to put in words. And then I tell myself, "no you don't feel this pain. you're strong, just don't give a single f*ck". And that's when I start too feel empty, falling in this spaceout, nor happy nor sad.

I guess a lot of artists and creators or just viewers can relate, I'm not the only one. Art is my only way to express it, pour it out, vent. Yeah, I do draw sad art sometimes and many moments in My Only One have a part of this pain. No wonder why a lot of people said it's so sad. I mean I planned a lot of painful moments ahead and that's why I'm afraid to draw it all just cause the pressure from readers who want a happy story will make it harder for me. I'm so torn apart. Guess this all above is the reason of my exhaustion.

Idk why I'm making this rant and and if it's important at all I didn't want it to sound like a pathetic ass whining, nah, just sharing, you know, in a chill way. So bear with me please~

Most importantly take care and never give a damn about what others think, you gotta be just happy <3