Pig Mom - Ch. 2 (November 2024)

We filmed our skit in one go. Chris ordered pizza for us for dinner, and I had hoped we would eat with Janet as a family but apparently, she and her husband had already eaten dinner earlier, which struck me as odd. More on that later. I was too distracted with my first meeting with her to read into their family dynamics.

Later that week, I returned to Chris’s house to oversee the editing of our video and the finished product. I took the helm as director and a very particular vision in mind with how and where to cut. When I got there, Chris’s dad answered the door. George was some Wall Street guy. I never really knew what he did but any time I saw him he was dressed nicely as if he were going to work. You’d think he was stuck-up and mean but he was actually really nonchalant and chill.

“Chris is downstairs,” he said.

I had to walk through the dining room to find the basement door. I overheard the TV again, and before I went to find the basement door I glanced back to see where George went. He disappeared from view. I didn’t know where he went but I crept into the kitchen hallway and peered around the corner hoping to see Janet again.

This time she sat in one of the other couches, so I was able to see her from my vantage point. Janet reminded me a lot of Peg Bundy on that show Married…with Children. Once again, she sat on the couch watching TV in loungewear. She gorged on chips straight from the bag, and something told me that she wasn’t accustomed to answering the door. She was watching some garbage reality TV show – something about people working on a yacht – and when she laughed she snorted.

God…what a…pig.

Watching her unlocked some voyeuristic desire in me. Like I was goddamn Sir David Attenborough.

And here is the lazy East Coast rich housewife. Observe as she lets go of her body by imbibing in sugary drinks and gorges on junk food.

            I wondered how often women did stuff like this when they were alone, when they thought nobody was looking. We had a really hot Spanish teacher in our school; your typical smoking bikini body with boobs and ass. Imagine her doing something like this.

George appeared from the other side of the room and I retreated, though I couldn’t help but take a peek here and there. I didn’t get the sense that he was annoyed by Janet. He asked how her day was and she just pointed to the TV. He paid attention and after a few moments they laughed about what was going on. Then he kissed her, and said he was going to practice some swings in the backyard.

Swings? They have a golf course or something? Fucking rich people…

            Once George left, I stood there like a creep waiting for something to happen. When I gave up after a couple minutes of silence, I started heading to the basement when she let out a croaky, throaty burp. Not only that – she let out a total of three of them. It was like she was struck with a sudden gas attack. After the third and last one in a row, she grunted and said aloud, “Awww fuck.” She rammed her chest with a fist to dislodge one last burp, and she sighed with relief afterwards.

            I bit my fist, for I nearly squealed out loud with delight.

            This is actually real. I can’t believe it. It’s not my imagination.

            “Hey what are you doing?”

            I jumped at the sound of Chris’s voice. He had come up from the basement. I immediately knew by the look on his face that he thought I was acting suspicious. I stammered, searching for an excuse in my head. “Oh-oh. I was just looking for a drink and got distracted by the TV.”

            Chris eyed me up and down, eyes narrowed, and then at the TV.

            “You watch Below Deck?”

            “Y-yeah, sometimes.”

            “Weirdo. I’ve been waiting for you. I wondered if you were here yet. Let’s go finish this thing.”

            Janet finally took notice of us and looked over. She widened her eyes at me and waved gently. “Oh, hi. I didn’t realize you were there.”

            “H-hey Mrs. Harrison.”

            “Oh please, call me Janet.”

            That made me weak in my knees.

            Chris had a sprawling basement with several rooms. They had a home theater, a game room, a lounge room, and a reading room. The reading room was a bit messy and at the far corner was Chris’s desktop computer, which looked like it was built to hack into the CIA or some shit. I had never seen a desktop that huge.

            I could hardly keep my head straight when we were editing the video. All I could think about was Janet Harrison lounging around, eating everything in sight, burping and farting whenever she pleased. What did her farts sound like? Were they as loud and long as her burps? Maybe they were nothing but small poots. That’d be a shame. But strong burps and weak farts are still cool in my book.

            “Do you really care about this?” he said.

            I snapped out of my daydreaming. He continued, “Because if you’re not I can finish this…”

            “No, no, sorry, I’m just deep in thought. I think you should cut that scene…right there.”

            I looked around at the room while he was adjusting the timeline on the editing software. Something became apparent to me.

            “Is this like your second room or something?”

            Chris didn’t answer.

            “How many rooms do you have?”

            Chris still didn’t answer. Instead, he sighed and stuck to the conversation about the editing. I figured it wasn’t in my best interest to keep pestering him with questions. He clearly didn’t flaunt his wealth, and I supposed that was better than your average stuck-up spoiled brat.

            While the video was processing, I made the excuse to use the bathroom. I instead crept through his hallways in hopes of running into Janet. Alas, she wasn’t in the living room anymore and the TV was turned off. I figured my perfect cover would be to pretend like I got lost trying to find the bathroom.

            I actually did somewhat feel lost as I crept through the empty hallways. I started to feel unnerved by how quiet it was except for my footsteps. I did find a bathroom, but it was occupied.

            What were the chances it was her?

            I pressed my ear up against the door and listened.

            I just heard the bathroom fan.

            “Everything all right?”

            It seemed Chris’s knack for sneaking up on you without making any noise ran in the family. I jumped when I noticed George at the other end of the hall. I was about to say something when he said cheerfully, “We got another bathroom upstairs! Go back the way you came, up the side stairs, and take a right!”

            “C-cool, thanks!”

            George nodded. He had come back inside from practicing golf swings outside. I went as far as the stairs but double-backed after making sure he wasn’t around. But then my heart pounded as I heard the bathroom door start to open. I hopped back around the corner and peeked.

            Janet, again in those tight sweatpants, stepped out and went “Whew.” She wafted the air with her hand and left the bathroom fan running. She turned away from my direction and I was able to stare at her glorious massive fucking wide ass.

            “Gotta take it easy on the hot sauce,” she muttered.

            I could have turned back around to return to Chris. Should have, really. But instead, my instincts drove me to follow her and continue creeping. The house was so big that it was very easy to creep around unnoticed.

            We were back in the living room and she plopped down on the couch closest to the kitchen. She laid down on her back, legs sprawled out haphazardly. Instead of turning on the TV she read a Danielle Steel book, and put on reading glasses. George went to the kitchen and turned on the stove. He said, “Are you hungry or did you spoil your dinner again?”

            “No, I can have something.”

            “Do you think the kid want something?”

            “Dunno. We should ask them.”

            That was my cue to hurry back. But before I did, Janet said, “Hey, come here for a second, I gotta show you something.”

            “What?”

            George walked over to her. Janet had stopped reading and looked up at him with a straight face.

            “What?” George said, louder.

            “Do you hear that?”

            “Hear what?”

            Janet scrunched her face and lifted a leg.

   PPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!

            She cackled after the grotesque explosion from her ass ended. I couldn’t believe it. Once again, I had witnessed something that was out of a fantasy. It was like my wishes were being fulfilled by my own will.

            George half-laughed half-cried out. He playfully shoved her and said, “You damn pig!”

            I realized how topsy-turvy this relationship was. The husband was typically the lazy one, always the one cracking burps and farts, always letting the wife cook. But Janet and George were the complete opposite. A total 180.

            Then it hit me – pig.

            That explained all the pigs in the house! It must have been a thing they had between the two of them. A term of endearment.

            I nearly missed my opportunity to run back downstairs, because I daydreamed for a second longer thinking, Damn…I want that in my life.

            As I hurried back downstairs before George could catch up, I ran into Chris. He looked up at me with a somewhat angry face saying, “Everything alright? What took you?”

            “Just had to take a shit,” I said quickly.

            “Hey guys?!” George shouted down the hall. “You guys wanna eat dinner with us?”

            I absolutely wanted to say yes, but Chris barked, “No. We’re fine.”

            George popped up at the top of the stairs. He looked hurt. “Aw, you sure?” He pointed to me. “Did you eat already?”

            Chris was going to answer for me but I shook my head. “Nope.”

            “I was gonna make lasagna.”

            “Ooo, nice,” I said.

            But Chris was not amused. He made a “tsch” noise and looked away. George then frowned, turning serious for a moment, and said, “Come on, Chris. When was the last time you had dinner with us?”

            Oof. Awkward. I cleared my throat.

            George then lightened up. “Dinner will be ready in an hour.”