We need to talk, penguins...

you got to take care of the person we all come here to enjoy! self care is important Nico. please dont let the uncaring dictate your health. Love your content man but your health is more important. stay classy my friend.

If you feel you're failing (I don't think you are but), that's because your content makes hunger among some of your fans and make them want it more. In that sense it's a testament of the quality of your content. Personally I just don't understand people who demand a new video from a single creator everyday so badly though. Considering how hard to make a quality content, I'd be happy enough if I could watch two new videos per week. I don't mind even if I'm getting one new video per week. Don't be a slave of demand Nico. Be yourself. Take a break. Go out and get a fresh air. Forget about YouTube time to time. It helps you in a long run. You cannot run a marathon while pushing yourself too hard. Hope my poor English does make sense. You're the guy who taught me the fun of Let's Play. I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks for what you do Nico. Please consider your mental health one of your highest priorities.

Take a break, Nico! :) We all need it sometimes! Stay healthy and take care.

I have never wanted to hug the person on the other side of the screen as BADLY AS I DO RIGHT NOW. T_T THE ANGST IS REAL! Oh sweetie... I don't- I just... I /hear/ your pain. I can't solve your problem, though. I have a younger sister. I get it. When people are close to you, and they do things that hurt, and you can't stop them and they're part of your life... It hurts. It's part of love. But there's a magnet on my fridge with a Thich Nacht Hahn quote that says "True love contains respect." And it's on /us/ to remember that. There might be Penguins who are young, who are running low on empathy, who haven't experienced the self-imposed struggle that you're suffering under right now, and thus can't relate to the heaviness in your voice, who don't understand the size of the pain behind your tense shoulders. There is nothing wrong with asking for a little more slack from people - most of whom you will never meet, nor even hear their voices - who only know you as pixels of light on a screen. But the person you NEED the most slack from - is yourself. The quality-standard you've placed on yourself, for your videos to be 'better/bigger/more' than just a playthru 'with the empty bits cut out', that's coming from inside you, no one out here is demanding that... AND IF THEY DO, THEIR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT PAYING FOR IT, SO THERE >:C Youtube doesn't put out videos on its platform as a commission-based model. And with your Patreon at a flat-entry-fee, you're not even 'officially' demanding anything of yourself, either, to any individual patrons. It's all in your head - and it sounds like that's a very lonely place to be, right now. My dude, you've just /moved/ - to a whole new state, if I remember correctly! You don't know anyone at all there aside from your family, right? Even if you have a primary-care-physician or something, you've said right here that you need to have more of an outside-life... Joining a Meetup group, a church, a chorus, volunteering or something - that'll HELP, but to me, it really feels like the kind of relationship you need the most right now, is someone /local/, someone /new/, that you can lean on, that you can trust. There's never a good way to say this, but... Have you considered talking with a therapist? It's not about, like, having a specific problem you want solved and then you walk away (well, sometimes it is) - it's more about having a stable, predictable, interpersonal relationship (that you pay for, yes, that IS part of the deal) that you can DEPEND on, and discuss really heavy things with, and potentially get advice from. "Parasocial" relationships are those that are one-sided but mentally 'real'. When one has a crush on a celebrity, imagines a fictional character smiling at them from the auidence to help them get through a presentation, even when one prays to a god - it's a strong, emotionally-fulfilling relationship with someone who doesn't know you exist. Now, I think of you as a parasocial older brother, my dude, and since I'm on the wrong side of the screen, I can't help you in person like I wish I could. (I do have a bad habit of trying to fix other people's problems, though... So maybe it's for the best that I'm over here XD) But I /hear/ you. And I /trust/ you. So I /believe/ you when you say words that are as heavy and meaningful as 'burn out' and 'depressed' - you MEAN them, and they're HARD for you to say, BECAUSE you mean them. Upset, sad, tired... those are just the tip of the iceburg in terms of not-fun-mental-things. And that's why I suggest the therapist idea. Cuz unlike cheering for the Phantom Thieves from the sidelines out here in the real world, you ARE a real person, and unlike a Twitter celebrity, you might actually hear me say this. You're in a REALLY good place right now for starting therapy; you're AWARE of what your issues are, and you seem to be struggling with, not just your personal definition of sucess, but also with what your next steps are - diversifying your income base and all that was the RIGHT THING TO DO, absolutely, but the ensuing issues are tripping you up, yeah? It seems like you could benefit from some outside voices, for some help brainstorming, for another layer of mods or something, on some of these platforms, ghod... You're AWARE of all the work that's in front of you, and you have trouble delegating it. But you know that it's the editing part, specifically, that's tripping you up, that's an EXCELLENT place to be, progress-wise! Aaand, since this is at the end of a wall-of-text paragraph, I feel like it's probably safe to mention here at the bottom - you had a health scare, didn't you? Something that required a brain scan, I think you said on Twitter? :C I don't need to know any more than that, please, don't tell me - but that shit is SERIOUS. I'm struggling with adapting to the life of a newly-disabled person right now myself, and it's trite to say (the same way everyone says 'join a club to make friends in college' CUZ IT FUCKIN WORKS), but your health IS your absolute top priority. I can't /make/ videos, or chat on social media, or write - the things I used to love to do - because some days my health comes before all of that and I have to 'do nothing' for a day. But it's NOT nothing. It's never nothing. "Chill out days" are spent /rebuilding/. If New Oreleans had never spent time rebuilding after the horrors of Hurricane Katrina, it wouldn't be even half as functional as it is today. If anything, their response was to spend NOT ENOUGH TIME on rebuilding, and that's why they're STILL not back to full strength. There's nothing I can say - someone you do not know, who is not a big-name fan, who's never seen you in person, who doesn't know where you live - there's nothing I can do, to convince you of any of the things that I've said. All I want you to know of me is this: I firmly believe that, what I'm paying for, as a tiny-amount-per-month Patreon, is for YOU to continue to live - to pay for your IRL mundane-and-extraordinary expenses, and anything impulsive or dumb or 'meaningless' you might want to own or attempt. Sky diving! Dance classes! Another Roxas figure because you just really want it and that's all there is to it! WHATEVER it is. (As a poor person living off the generosity of my state government and my mom, I know 100% how hard it is to 'justify' everything you do if you feel beholden to your creditor...) The gifts we give to you are not in return for 'content creation' - they're for YOU. Your soul, your friends, your family, your fuckin' love interest, if you ever have one! THIS MAN DESERVES THE PRIVACY TO GO ON A DATE AND BE ABLE TO HIDE A GIRLFRIEND FROM US. :C You are 100% correct, we DO NOT NEED TO KNOW. That is a fair and healthy boundary to set and we all BETTER RESPECT IT.

Watching your vid right now. I really hope we as a community aren’t weighing you down. Please if you need to, take a break.

D-Kirby

You are not letting us down!!! while I can only speak for myself, I have never been let down by you, you should never feel the need to apologise for needing a break or take some extra time to yourself, i would much rather have 2 videos a week and have you be happy, than having multiple videos knowing that you aren’t happy and that you are working yourself down. As for the time the videos arrive on youtube, i don’t mind. Recently a lot of your videos has arrived around 7 am for me here in europe, witch is very nice to wake up to, so don’t worry to much about the time of upload on youtube, because you have penguins all over the world ;). Please take of yourself!!! Your own health should always have first priority

I just want to say that I wholeheartedly support you because you've provided me with hundreds and hundreds of hours of genuine enjoyment over the past 7 years. And when I say that I support "you", I don't mean just your videos, I mean you as a person. You've certainly brought so much joy to my life, so my hope is that my support helps you to bring some joy to yours. So take care of yourself and do what makes you happy and healthy. I'm not someone who watches every series or every livestream or is active in the discord, but I can say that I always enjoy the content you put out.

I'm so happy that you care so much about your channel as you do, and I really enjoy your videos. But please, don't burn out to satisfy every picky penguin! Quality takes time, and those who can't wait for a new video will have to find something else to do with their time. Take care!

Nico, you should never feel like you're not working hard enough or doing well enough. You're a FUCKING BEAST. No one else that I know of makes so many hour+ videos with so much soul and love and creative editing as you. And you don't record in batch, you read the comments from the previous video before starting a new one EVERY TIME. That's INSANE. I'm certain I speak for most of us when I say we respect you. You've given so much. So take a break now and then, and keep yourself healthy. That's the most important thing to you, and as your avian crewmates, it's the most important thing to us too. The bond between you and us is not just a producer/consumer relationship. You may not know each of us by name and face, but we're your friends. We care about you. We love you. You matter. Not NicoB the content creator, but the man. We want you to do what is best for you, because that is what's important. I think the best thing I can do is to tell you straight: You have a delusion. That delusion is that you aren't doing enough, and that you have to push yourself harder to be worthy of the subs and likes and patronage. This is a lie, and it's hurting you. You need to see the truth, and the truth is that you are going 1,000% above and beyond. You are soaring. You are a hero and a champion. It breaks my heart every time I hear you talk about how you feel like you're letting us down, because nothing could be further from the truth. We can all taste the blood, sweat, and tears you've shed in every video. Read my lips, because here is the truth: You. Are. Good. Enough.

I’m going to write here what I wrote on YouTube. Nico, you are your own person. You should live the way you want, work the way you want, your fans can’t dictate your life if they're not happy. You know what's best for you and you don't owe anyone anything. Even people who support you on patreon (like myself). That's all VOLUNTARY. If someone changed their mind, that’s on them. Not you. The ones speaking out are vocal indeed… but they are the minority. I promise that. Most people are silent viewers. It’s usually that way for everything. I understand it's frustrating for some people, but don't let yourself be affected by it. As you said, it's unhealthy and causes you to burn out. Everyone is different. You can’t compare yourself to others, and your fans can’t do that either. It's always hard to find a fine balance between work and life, especially when you're a creative. Especially when you have fans that have expectations. Once a creative's passion starts feeling like a job that makes them feel haggard... you start to lose that love. Which is a horrible thing. I'm sorry you had to come out with this and it must have been hard to read those comments. Editing is really hard. I may not know the same exact extent, but I write. And after writing a chapter the last thing I want to do is edit words. I imagine it’s the same for videos. People will support you no matter what. There is not a day that goes by where I don't have one of your videos at least playing in the background if I have work to do. You don’t sound petty. You don’t sound ungrateful. You sound like you are finding the right balance for you and are testing things out. You aren’t failing us. You give yourself a lot of work. No one can understand as you do. Please take the time to take care of yourself. Us penguins will be here no matter what. Schedule, no schedule, video, no video. What’s important is you have fun doing what you do. I LOVE your live streams. I hope they don’t go away. I love seeing you in real-time. I don’t ever say anything, but it’s so nice and fun. It makes you real. WE love you, Nico. You bring happiness to everyone. You take the break that you need. Everyone will be waiting. It’s important to feel successful and good both on and off YouTube. I wish we could do something for you. We don’t want you to be sad ):

Take your time and take care of yourself Nico. We love your videos because of you. The videos we all enjoy so much come about because of you and all your efforts. I know that, personally, I would rather you do everything you need to do to stay happy and healthy, no matter how it may affect your schedule. I'm sure there are thousands upon thousands of penguins who feel the same way. I hope you enjoy your upcoming break, Germany is a lovely place and I wish you the best both on and off Youtube.

Watched this video on youtube and I just want to say you clarified some of my questions in regards to patreon which I had so i'm pretty set. All the other stuff I believe if you to do what you can, nothing more is needed for me ^^ I'd rather have videos twice a days than have you stress over it's delivery tbh but I whole heartedly want you to understand that majority of us wants the best for you, and the worst times is when we see the ninja penquins that have high demands, and put you down. I hopefully the support from this video will get you back to a 99% until your break ^^ Love ya man best of luck with the stuff :D

Nicki Oliver Christensen