83: I Don’t Want to Go, I Don’t Want to Stay

Inho’s grandfather had had a stroke. Since he wasn’t close with the man, the trip home to help out was a coincidence he was trying not to feel grateful for. His mother was having a tough time though, and he was doing his best to support her. Still...it was a relief to be 8000kms away from his problems.

He stirred the soup simmering on the stove, pulled side dishes out of the fridge, and set the table before calling his mother down to eat. She looked exhausted. The two of them had been at the hospital every day from early in the morning.

“You’re going back to the hospital tonight?” he asked, filling her a bowl of stew and carrying it to the table.

“Yes, after dinner. He’s unconscious, but,” she chewed her lip, “He shouldn’t be alone there.”

“I’ll go. You should stay home and get some rest tonight.”

She quirked an eyebrow, “What’s this? Who’s this considerate boy, and where is my Inho?” Inho rolled his eyes, and she continued, “Well, thank you for offering, but the doctor said he would be checking in tonight, and I’d like to speak to him. Maybe tomorrow though…” She gave him a tired smile, “You just got back and you’ve just been running around with me for days. Grandfather isn’t going anywhere. You should go see your friends tonight..”

Inho shrugged, “Yeah, I guess.” He should really reach out to his friends, but it was yet another thing that he didn’t feel emotionally capable of right now. If they even had time, they’d wanna drink, and they’d be loud, and all Inho wanted to do was hide in his bed for eternity.

“Go on,” she nudged “Who knows when I’ll offer again?”

So, after dinner, with not a small amount of trepidation, Inho pulled out his laptop and opened the group chat he’d muted months ago. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to turn on his phone since he left.

I’m back, he typed, This is Kim Inho.

An instant flurry of responses greeted him:

We know who it is you loser.

Well, well, well! Our little Inho has returned at last!

Wow, you didn’t tell me you were coming >:O

Inho sucks! Are we meeting tonight then? To welcome him back? This week was hell I wanna get wasted.

Yesssss, I want beer and chicken.

What about tomorrow night? I’m so beat.

Tonight or nothing! Inho replied, grinning at the obnoxious welcome. The chat continued and they organized to meet around 8pm. Dohyun couldn’t come because he had a new baby at home, but since it was Friday, the rest of them were all ready to drink away the woes of their work weeks.

That evening, as he approached the restaurant, the warm sounds of music and laughing patrons leaked out, and he quickened his pace. He felt a bit eager now that he was here. These were the friends he’d grown up with – a group of childhood neighbors and middle school buddies that had somehow stayed together through high school and persisted even through military service til now.

He dodged through the crowd of waiters and already inebriated patrons, and found Min wedged alone into the far end of a booth, bent over his phone. Min jumped slightly when Inho greeted him, but then his eyes crinkled with a wide smile.

“Hey, you!” He tried to stand up but couldn’t fully extend his legs and stumbled trying to exit the booth. Min was always extremely clumsy. Inho caught him, and gave him a quick hug before dumping him back on the bench and sliding in next to him.

“Min, how are you? Where are the others?”

“They’re almost here, I was just early,” Min was still beaming at him, “So, why are you back? You didn’t say anything in the chat.”

Inho picked up a paper coaster and turned it in his hands. Despite mentally preparing for the questions, he felt hesitant to share anything about what he’d been up to. “Family stuff, but I might stay. I dunno yet, My grandpa is in the hospital,” He ripped the coaster in half, and Min nodded with a worried look. Inho quickly changed the topic before he could offer concern.

Min was wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark slacks. With his tidy haircut and glasses he looked like a perfectly respectable office worker, “Did you just get off work? It’s so late.”

“Yeah. It’s been a crazy week for overtime. I only snuck out this early by agreeing to come in on the weekend.”

Inho grimaced. Min had a work ethic a lot like Jamie’s.

“It’s not all bad! I like my work and I–I um...”

“He just got promoted! Were you gonna brag, Min? I had to drag that out of you” Junseo dropped into the other side after giving Inho a squeeze, and Hayoon shuffled in after him.

Junseo turned to Inho, “You’re back! So how was it? Did you get engaged?” Min flinched, Junseo continued, “You haven’t logged into the chat for so long; I thought you eloped or something.”

“Engaged, what?” Inho asked, confused, “Why would I be engaged?”

Junseo tensed up, “Did...you not go to Canada to propose to Jamie?”

“Nope.” Inho snapped, then ran his tongue over his teeth, “We broke up actually. Why wouldn’t I have said something if I was going to go do that?”

“Don’t get mad at me!” Junseo whined, “You ran off to surprise her, what else –”

“Sorry Inho,” Min cut him off, “We all thought you went to propose, and that we’d be congratulating you tonight, but you mentioned your grandad is sick, and... It’s my bad. I should have corrected them before it came up.” He hung his head. Hayoon didn’t say anything, but he looked worried.

“No, it’s okay,” Inho answered, ruffled feathers settling, “You don’t need to apologize.”

Awkward silence fell for a moment.

“So you broke up?” Junseo asked. He waved down a passing waitress and ordered four types of fried chicken, a pitcher of beer, and way too many bottles of soju.

“Isn’t that a bit much?” Min asked when she left.

“Nah, now it’s breakup-drinking. We need to support Inho in his grief. Your treat, right Mr. Team Lead?” He winked, and Min gave in with a nod, before turning to Inho.

“Do you want to tell us what happened?”

“No, like, not even a little bit.”