56: Pressure & Lies

Inho put the mugs down a little too hard in the sink, then took a deep breath to calm down. It wasn’t his dad’s fault that he kept bringing up Jamie. It was Inho’s, just like everything else. Was it weird to still feel sensitive about a breakup when you had a new partner?

A small judgemental voice in the back of Inho’s mind whispered that he would never have been able to turn Jamie down at his apartment if things hadn’t been starting with Stephen. You’re desperate, whispered the voice, anyone will do as long as you’re not alone.

Inho had zoned out, and his dad was speaking. He turned back to the living room, “What? Sorry, I missed that.”

“You’re sure your head is okay now?”

Inho rolled his eyes, “Yes dad, I’m sure.”

“I was asking about all these plants. Did they come with the apartment? It’s kinda crowded in here.” His dad’s voice was gentle and cautious as if he was unsure if Inho would snap at him again.

Inho looked around sheepishly. Since Harold-the-cactus first graced his window sill, he’d been aggressively adding to his plant collection. He often stopped in at the little flower shop next to the restaurant to pick something out before his shift. There were about forty plants of varying sizes in the living room alone.

“They’re mine. I, uh, I just like them.”

“Isn’t it a lot of work to water them all?” His father rubbed the chubby leaf of a succulent near the couch as if it might offer him an opinion.

“I like doing it. It’s fun to look after them” Inho sat back on the couch, feeling slightly guilty for his harsh tone earlier.

“Well as long as you’re enjoying yourself.” His dad shifted in his seat a few times, preparing to speak, “Listen, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Inho frowned and waited without acknowledging the implied question. The older man took a deep breath and plowed forward, “I’ve been thinking about how you might best spend your time while you’re here… And, if you were interested, maybe I could talk to my work about getting you a junior role there.”

Inho blinked rapidly, taken aback, “What do you mean how to spend my time?”

“Well, it’s an excellent opportunity to be here. You weren’t accomplishing anything back home, and I think it’s time we discussed your future options.”

“I can figure it out on my own.” Inho’s voice took on a slight edge. Why did his dad suddenly want to be involved now of all times?

“Well, you haven’t exactly been doing that.”

Inho flinched.

“Listen, it doesn’t have to be with my company, I just want to see you moving forward and working–”

“I am working!” Inho cut him off, his voice rising in frustration. He didn’t want to yell at his dad, but sometimes he couldn’t seem to manage his emotions well around him.

“Inho,” his dad answered quietly, “you can’t be a part-timer forever. You’re 26, and it’s time to start making some better decisions.”

Inho bit his lip to hold in any bitter replies, folded his arms, and leaned back into the couch.

“I’ve been putting money aside since you and your sister were kids. For school. Hyebin’s already started using hers, but yours is still just sitting. Your visa allows you to work or study here for two years right? Hang on, I brought something to show you.” He got up and went to the bedroom where Inho had dropped his bag.

Inho followed him and blessedly spotted the foxtail butt plug poking out from under the bed before his dad noticed it. He stretched out his foot and kicked it out of view.

Fucking Stephen.

His dad fussed with his luggage and eventually pulled out a shiny booklet with smiling teens on the front. Inho felt dread’s fingers lightly squeeze his guts as he let his dad guide him back to the living room.

“I know your grades weren’t the best, but some of the local universities are quite lenient on that. I highlighted a few programs that I think might be good for you to look at.” He smoothed the booklet open to a page of small text and more smiling students.

“You could go back home with a diploma! Or, if you want to stay here, or….you could come live with me if you wanted.”

“Dad! I don’t want to do any of that.” Inho felt helpless. His parents had never really acknowledged that he’d failed to get into a college back home, but now suddenly he was acting like it was going to be possible here? Inho knew how expensive international tuition was, too. There would be an incredible amount of pressure to go with that money.

As if on cue, his dad brought it up, “You know Inho, I’ve sent you a lot of money for this trip. I think the very least you could do is consider this.”

A sour taste filled Inho’s mouth. There it was: the obligation.

“Your English is very good already, of course, but the IELTS language tests are tough. You’ll want to start studying right away so you can hit the grades they want for admissions.”

“Dad, this school isn’t even in Vancouver,” Inho caught the campus city names on one of the pages as his dad flipped though.

“Yes, it’s in one of the suburban towns nearby.”

“I’ll have no way to get there.”

“I’ll buy you a car.”

The money tally was mounting. His parents wouldn’t want him to pay it back, they’d just expect to have control of nearly everything he did from now on. He should have known. He blew out a long slow breath before his tension could get higher. His headache was threatening to come back.

“Okay. Okay, I’ll think about it.”

His father clapped his hands together, appeased, “Excellent! I knew you’d agree with me. Now then, should we go out for lunch? Pick something nice, your old dad is buying!”