Task 6.2 – Intimacy of Self Love

I decide this time I need more, writing about it while slowly feeling it has gotten me to new heights of arousal and I’m craving the fear of getting caught. So, I open my blinds, its not as intense as it used to be when I lived at home. Back then my window was right next to the sidewalk and anyone walking by could possibly look in and see me. Now I’m on the second floor and people can only see if they look up if I’m by the window or other buildings can possibly see in if they notice me. Sometimes I wonder if people have noticed and watched and I had no idea.

These clothes have to come off next, the shorts come off first as I bend over, my back facing the window as I lower them to the ground. Now only wearing my shirt which is barely covering my pussy, it feels like my only protection before I expose myself completely. A part of me hopes no one is watching but the fear and excitement that someone may turns me on just as much.

I face the window but look away, I can’t bear to look out and meet eyes with someone watching me and I also don’t want to know whether or not someone is as I fiddle with the bottom of my shirt. I know I can’t take it off to slow and I just don’t want to fling it off to fast. I wanted it to look like I was undressing and didn’t think anyone could see, but then my hands got a mind of their own and my horny mind couldn’t stop what they started.

My right hand is no longer fiddling with my shirt and is now running the tip of my finger between my wet slit. The feeling is so intense, my nerves are in overdrive with every touch and it slips between my folds, gently pressing my opening and grazing my clit. My other hand finds its way under my shirt and up to my breasts pulling up the shirt with it. It’s clear now that I’m playing with myself and everything from below my breasts can be easily seen if anyone was watching. My pale skin glowing may as well be a beacon for any airplane to find their direction in the night.

I trace circles around and over my nipples and can’t help but moan, hoping that neither of my roommates can hear me and come check up on me. I pull the shirt up over my breasts and feel myself completely exposed now. Not just innocently changing, but now, full on masturbating in front of an open window. There’s no excuse now, no innocent denial, what I’m doing is purposely slutty and to anyone watching, would easily say that I wanted to be watched.

I want to hide, I want to move, I don’t want to be caught, but I’m not going to until I cum. The shirt is now being too distracting trying to keep it where it is, the feeling of it on my skin is more of an annoyance then an arousal and I pull it up over my head and throw it to the floor. My legs tremble as my right hand focuses on rubbing my clit. I spread my legs more to open the folds of my pussy and my clit becomes even more exposed.

“Mmmph, fuck,” my left-hand tweaks and pulls on my nipples sending shocks of pleasure through my body.

I bite my lip and shut my eyes and the thought crosses my mind that this is the first time I’ve done this in my new apartment with the lights on. So many things running through my brain as I never really looked to see how exposed my window was, or across to see if I ever noticed anyone in other windows before trying this and the fact that I used to live in a small town before where everyone went to sleep early and now, I was in a college town where people stayed up till the early morning hours.

It was so much riskier doing this here and now than it ever was in my old house. Even the thought that my parents went to sleep early and now I lived with people who were probably up studying or watching Netflix and might be awake to hear me. A new rush of fear comes over me and although my brain is screaming for me to stop, to open my eyes and make sure I’m not seen, my pussy is just wanting more and more now.

I bite on my left knuckle to stop myself from moaning out loud as I plunge two fingers into my pussy. Its wet, warm and tight, so wet that you can hear the slouching of my juices as I finger fuck myself hard and fast. My legs are now trembling and my body shivers from excitement, every muscle clenching as I fuck myself. Leaning over more to get my fingers deeper inside of me, I feel the cold glass of my window on my forehead and didn’t even realize that I had gotten closer from when I started.

I can only imagine the view now, resting my head on the window, naked, fingering my pussy as my body trembled in pleasure and the look on my face as I bit down into my hand to stop from making noise. I could only imagine people standing on the sidewalk, looking up and watching me, a guy from across the sidewalk in the other building, watching me in disbelief as he’s jacking off hoping I don’t open my eyes and see him. Maybe a girl watching and masturbating herself in pleasure and disgust at what I’m doing.

The more turned on I get, the darker the images of people not only watching me, but now taking pictures and videos. Stuff that would make it to the internet or to use as blackmail to make me do dirty things. The thought of opening my eyes and seeing some guy in the window across, with his cock out jacking off in one hand and his phone in the other as he smiles and waves to me when I realize it.

My body wants to cum so badly, but at the same time it enjoys being edged, denied orgasm and held off for as long as possibly for the amazing release at the end. The feeling of sheer pleasure that I’ll know will stop once I cum. I could only imagine what else I could do to make me look even worse and my fingers pull out from pussy and enter my mouth, replaced by my left hand rubbing my clit as I suck my fingers clean, tasting myself sweetness and only imagine what some onlooker is thinking.

This isn’t for your pleasure, I’m thinking, this is a punishment, you are a slut and this is what sluts do. They taste themselves; they show off their bodies because they crave attention by people, they want to use them. Not fuck them, use them because sluts get used, not fucked.

The pleasure is starting to become overwhelming as it mixes with my fear and humiliation. I hear a noise from outside and open my eyes, I want to hide but my body isn’t letting me, instead I look out frantically to see if someone is watching me or noticed knowing that I’m only going to move once I cum. I look down to see a couple of guys on the sidewalk, one is obviously stumbling and drunk, the other is helping him get back into his building. My eyes are locked on them as I’m on the verge of cumming and everything in my being is praying they don’t turn around see me.

I keep rubbing my clit with my left and my right decides to shove two fingers back inside of me curling as they find my g-spot. My back arches causing my finger to hook and dig deeper into my g-spot giving me a strange feeling like I needed to pee, but I don’t stop rubbing my clit, because I need to cum so badly and I need to cum so I can finally hide. They make it to the door and I feel like I’m in the home free, but he drops his keys out of his right pocket and his friend goes to pick them up, leaning him up against the wall and now facing in my direction as he gets them.

My tits press up against the cold glass, I’m seconds away from cumming and I pray he doesn’t look up as his friends grabs the keys and opens the door. I see his eyes, not sure if he sees me or if he even notices but my mind tells me I’ve been caught as my orgasm explodes and my eyes roll back into my head. My legs give out and I stumble backwards falling into my bed, my body shakes and shutters and I grab a pillow just in time as I scream out in orgasm, biting down on it and hoping it was muffled enough.

It took me a while to catch my breath, even longer to get up and get the guts to get my clothes and redressed. When I did, my curiosity took over and I looked out my window and looked around. No one was watching me; I could see lights up in some places but the blinds were closed and I had no idea where those two guys went. I didn’t expect this task to turn out this way, more intense than just describing how I touch myself, but I guess this was more honest than I thought I was going to be. I forget which number task this is, but another done.