45. Heritage

Stash smiled in a somewhat dry manner.

-It is as I was just saying, those with Meiriem blood usually cannot eat meat. It could even kill them, in fact.-

Was that really true? Am I going to die? Why did they let me do this? I didn’t know!

-Be at ease, my lady, this doesn’t appear to affect you. Otherwise, we would have seen some serious symptoms by now.-

-I…Is that so?- I signed nervously.

-Absolutely, there is absolutely nothing for you to worry about, I guarantee it. Meiriemkins normally simply do not have the right stomach for it.-

He rubbed his chin for a moment.

-Think of it like feeding a cat flower. It simply wouldn’t be able to eat it.- Stash insisted with a calm smile.

I raised an eyebrow, as I had seen cats eat flowers before, but didn't question him. Still a little shaken, but somewhat reassured, I straightened back up in my seat. After a moment of hesitation, I was about to dig into my meal once more, but hesitated and turned to Stash once more.

-...But if people from my blood usually can’t eat meat, why can I?-

Stash pulled on the extremities of his green, parsed grey moustache in a pensive manner.

-My lord and I discussed a few theories, but we came to an… |mpss.-

I tilted my head at his comment. 

-What’s an |mpss? Can I help?-

He looked hesitant for a moment.

-In fact, you’re the only one who could, my lady, but I fear the subject could make you uncomfortable.- 

-I don’t mind.- I simply answered as I shook my head.

-Then, if you’ll allow it…-

Stash dug in his pocket and took out a small notebook and pencil and borrowed the seat in front of me.

-Please tell me right away if you’re feeling uncomfortable, my lady. I understand this might be a touchy subject.-

I didn’t really understand, but he looked serious, so I nodded.

-About your… previous family.-

I felt my blood grow cold instantly, and my fist started trembling. I tried to hide it by grabbing my dress, but I couldn’t be sure Stash hadn't noticed.

I took a deep breath and looked back at Stash, ready for the rest of the question. He had a moment of hesitation, but seeing I wasn’t backing down, he continued.

-I won’t ask for details, but do you happen to know your family’s heritage?-

Of course, I did. It was drilled into my mind since the day I could walk.

-Yes.- I responded as I nodded.

I  took a deep breath as I tried to recall everything.

-My fath…-

Wrong, that title doesn’t belong to him anymore.

-That man… He was proud of the family’s Meiriem and Seeir heritage. His father was of the same descent. That man’s mother, on the other hand, was from  Sunvale and was half Meiriemkin and half Aleniakin. That man wasn’t proud of that fact. He always said that…-

…Alenia’s blood only made us look like peasants.

The words had never stuck out to me before. They felt natural. Peasants and nobles don’t mix. One is made to serve the other, but could I really still believe that? Wasn’t I a peasant just a few weeks ago? Or were peasants another thing entirely?

Regardless, the words stuck in my throat and made me want to hurl. 

-He said a lot of things.-

I concluded. That man’s words didn’t deserve to be retold.

Stash nodded. I guess he might have known what came next.

-That woman’s family was different. Her father was of almost pure Seeir heritage, but not a kin. Her mother was a Fey and Meiriem kin.-

Stash diligently wrote down everything I said while nodding. 

He sat back for a moment and pondered. He looked back and forth from me and the document. He wanted to ask me something, I could tell, but he couldn’t find the right words.

-What about… That man and woman? What were the traits they inherited?-

The traits… He must mean their hair and eyes.

-She had pale pink hair, almost white, and pale blue eyes. He had pale blue hair and pink eyes.-

He wrote down what I told him, but then stopped. He pondered for a moment and tapped his pencil on the sheet of paper. Something seemed to be bothering him.

-Then perhaps it was Seeir’s traits which influenced the tolerance… But…-

He looked up and stared at me for a long moment before addressing me.

-My lady, how are you a Scornkin then?-

I frowned, annoyed

-I can be whoever’s kin I like.- I answered dryly.

His eyes opened wide, and he lifted his hand innocently.

-I did not mean to offend, my lady! I was simply curious as to how that came to be. If neither of your parents were Scornkin themselves, it is … Well, unusual.-

Was that really how it was? Children always the same as their parents, no matter what? 

What if their parents were stupid? What if they were bad parents? What if they were evil? What about if they beat them every day because a Kinsmann told them to! Should they still be the same as them then?!

I felt my blood boil, but I knew Stash wasn’t trying to be mean. He was just curious…  And I did agree to help him.

-When… When I lived on the estate. There was a maid. I don’t know her name, but I called her Goldie. Goldie was a nice person. After…-

I hesitated.

I wanted to be honest. To tell him exactly what happened, but something in my mind was stopping me. I was afraid of what would happen if these people knew. Knew who I was before. What had happened to me? Would they also get mad at me? Throw me in a dark room and beat me?

I want to think they wouldn’t, but could I really know?

-...I lost my voice and ears, she was the one who took care of me. She would bring me my meals, make me drink medicine, clean my room and my clothes… She’s even the one who made Darkie.-

I brought Darkie on the table. His arm and ear were still slightly crooked from when he was sewn back together, but I still remember what he looked like that day as Goldie made him.

I still remember how she had been reluctant to make him black like her hair… I remembered how sad she had looked when she had given it to me… 

Why was it that she had been sad back then? Did she know about… About the Kinsmann? About what would happen?

I hadn’t thought about Goldie in a long time, but now memories of her were flooding my mind. It felt like a lifetime ago, yet her face was so clear in mind. I remembered her face. Thin and pale as she smiled at me one last time before I left in that carriage all those nights ago.

I… I miss her. 

I miss her a lot.

I suddenly remembered that Stash was patiently smiling and waiting in front of me to finish my sentence.

I continued.

-She… She was the nicest person I've ever met. So when it came time to get baptised, there was one person who reminded me of her. It was the bishop. It was only during baptism that I discovered that those were traits of Scorn.- I finished my explanation. 

Stash nodded seriously for a few moments, but I could see his eyes still darting around. Almost as if he didn’t believe me.

-I understand what you’re telling me, my lady, but… I was really asking about your eyes.-

I was surprised.

-My eyes?-

He nodded seriously.

-My lady, your eyes are those of one who has inherited Scorn’s blood. Either that man or that woman must have…-

I shook my head.

-No, they didn’t.-

-Then perhaps you misremember what they said about their parents?-

-No.- I answered categorically.

-And my eyes weren’t always gold. Before I came to Evergreen, they used to be silver.-

He rubbed his chin before nodding.

-Hmmh… Yes, that’s… Possible. Although you're a bit young for that… But then…. One of your parents would still need to carry Scorn’s blood for you to inherit the traits.-

I shrugged. 

The fact that people’s eyes could change when they grew up was no news to me, but about my family carrying Scorn blood… I didn’t know what to tell him about that. 

-Then, perhaps, were both of those people really your parents…?- He suggested.

I immediately felt a wave of anger run through me. I knew what that meant. He was implying I was a bastard child.

But then, the idea that, perhaps, they weren’t really my mother or father, brought a morbid sort of joy. 

How wonderful would that be? That all my time at the estate had been a misunderstanding? Perhaps this ‘mother’ or ‘father’ would have come swooping in and saved me from that room. From the abuse and the beatings… What a perfect fairy tale ending that would have been...

But something in my guts told me it couldn’t be. Life isn’t THAT fair. That man and woman were my parents. We shared blood. A sickening connection I will never be able to remove.

I looked straight into Stash’s eyes.

-I wish you were right.- I signed.

I leaned back on my chair and stared at Darkie, propped up and sitting on the table.

[What do you think?] I asked him.

“I’m sorry. As much as I wish I didn’t. I agree with you. I don’t think it would make much sense. Those people use to treat you the same as Dalton, Ela and Knox before the accident.” 

I nodded. Darkie was right. It doesn’t make sense. I reached out to the bunny on the tableand brought him to my chest. Squeezing him hard.

Stash remained silent. He clasped his hands together and looked away. Perhaps he felt guilty. I wanted to tell him he shouldn’t. I also wish he were right, but I was also angry at the meaning behind his words.

After a few tense moments, his expression softened. 

He bowed slightly and stood up from his seat. Just as he did, he glanced back and his eyebrow raised.

-My lady, it seems that the person I wished to introduce to you has arrived.-

I turned around curiously as he stood aside.

I saw a woman walk down the garden path. Well, not quite a woman. She looked older than me, but not exactly fully grown-up either. She was dressed in a servant's outfit. A black dress over a white shirt, a green vest and a thin red bow held the shirt together at the neck.

She had short, fiery hair pointing in all directions, encircling her angular and freckled face, as well as two sharp blue eyes, and a long narrow nose.

She stopped and stood upright just a few feet away from the table with a large smile plastered across her face.

Somehow she looked… Energetic. Her calm posture looked as thought it was barely contained, as if she could jump to a sprint at any moment.

Stash put a hand on her shoulder.

-This young lady is Ḿĺ Glsr. She is the daughter of Sir Lṽn Glsr. She has volunteered to become your attendant and playmate.-

He turned to the girl who  proudly lifted her hands.

-Greeting! Mine sweet woman!- She signed energetically, making me choke on the salad I was just chewing... 

What did that girl call me...?