40. My Life

A sore throat and a buzzing in my head. Those were the first things that returned to me. I tried to open my eyes, but it was as if they were glued shut by some magic, so I gave up and basked in the morning sun warming my body.

Strangely, other than my throat and my head, the rest of my body wasn't uncomfortable at all. No pain or strain, not even a little stinging. Instead, it felt like I was floating on a cloud. A sunbeam hit my closed eye, disturbing my peaceful rest. I winced and spun to the other side, hugging the pillow that was almost as large as myself. 

I hope Goldie doesn't come to wake me up anytime soon… Wait, no, that's wrong… 

Jade. 

It's Jade who should come wake me up… Then why was the bed just like…?

Fear rushed through my mind. In an instant, I bolted upright and opened my eyes, ready to run.

What waited for me, though, was not what I'd expected. There were no marble floors or blue-white wallpapers. Instead, the dark green walls were framed by hardwood pillars. The floor was almost entirely covered in a soft-looking red carpet.

Confused, I looked around, and that's when I noticed a man sipping tea with his eyes closed while sitting at my bedside. 

He was older with greying green hair. From his black jacket, burgundy vest and bow tie. From the way he dressed, my best guess was that he must have been a butler from a noble household… But none that I knew of.

Why was a servant waiting on me? 

More importantly, how did I even get here? The last thing I remember was Darkie being…

[Darkie!] I screamed out as I remembered what happened to him. 

The butler, realising I had woken up, put down his cup and stood from his seat. 

He smiled and said something that was probably meant to be soothing, but I was too panicked, looking around the room, to pay attention to him.

What happened to Darkie? Where am I? Who is this man?

He approached his hand toward my face, but I dodged it before glaring at him. I was about to snap at him, but he raised his hands innocently to show that he didn‘t mean to hurt me. He brought his hand to his forehead as he spoke. I guess he just wanted to check my temperature...

He looked like a nice enough old man… And this place didn't look like anywhere dangerous. They put me in a nice bed and… My clothes were changed? 

I was now wearing a flowery white and red sleeping gown.

All these thoughts bounced in my head for a moment, so much so that when he approached his hand again, I was too distracted to resist. 

He gently pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. His skin was wrinkled and rough, but the cool temperature of his skin felt refreshing.

He made an exaggerated frown before putting his hand. He grabbed another cup of tea from the tea set and filled it up before handing it to me. The cup felt warm in my hands, and the fruity smell coming from it tickled my nostrils. I slowly downed the liquid. I felt my eyes lose their dryness, the burning sensation in my throat dwindled slightly, and the buzzing in my skull dimmed ever so slightly.

I felt my entire body relax, and I closed my eyes for a moment. 

It’s alright. 

Everything is alright. 

I am safe for now. 

I can feel it.

When I opened my eyes again, the butler offered more tea and I gladly accepted. As I sipped on the cup, he excused himself for a moment and left the room.

Being alone in the room, I finally had time to take in my environment properly.

It was definitely a noble's household. The bed was large and soft, yes, but the room was also spacious. Large enough to accommodate a playroom or even a sitting area. It was strange, though… It almost looked like they were in the middle of moving. For furnishing, there was only a large wardrobe and dresser, and yet they stood open and empty. Strewn across the room were different piles of drapes and sheets, as well as packing crates and chests still sealed.

Off to the side, a large window gave onto the city. I could see houses and people walking in the streets in the distance. We appeared to be inside a small estate flanked on all sides by other such estates. Was this the famed upper district I had heard so much about?

I sipped on my tea as I took in the view. 

After a while, the butler came back, and Jade came rushing behind him. 

She tackled me into a tight hug. I hugged her back, relieved. If Jade were here, it truly must mean that I was safe again. She broke the hug and looked me up and down.

-Are you okay? You’re not hurt or anything?- She asked.

I shook my head.

-I’m okay. My throat hurts just a bit, but I'm fine otherwise.- I responded.

She said something to the butler, and this one nodded before heading out of the room. It was strange to see her act in such a familiar way with a complete stranger.

-Where are we, Jade?-

Jade looked at me and smiled.

-We’re at Lord ᐊshbȑk's home! Isn’t it pretty?-

-Whose home?- I asked, not sure who that person she was referring to might be.

It definitely wasn't a name I had seen before.

-It belongs to the man you met at the church! He also came to the orphanage that day… Ah… I mean… You know…- She tried to explain, but couldn't quite find the words.

The man from the church? Did she mean…The crying nobleman? 

But why were we at his home? 

I was extremely confused about exactly what had happened. It all seemed like a strange nightmare. 

One minute I was in the market, then the other I was in a strange cage… And now I’m here. In a nobleman’s house. An almost stranger.

-We looked for you all over the city! We went to see F’ĺḉ and then Bishop F’lḋr decided to help us, and then we met a kin! A real kin! He was the Archbishop of Scorn! Can you believe that? We met the Archbishop of your god! He had blue skin and, and…-

Jade proceeded to throw at me more information than I could process.

F’ĺḉ? Bishop F’lḋr? A Scorn Archbishop?

-Slow down, Jade! I don’t understand anything you're saying! Start from the start, but don’t rush through the details this time!-

She spent a long time explaining everything that happened yesterday. She began her story from the moment I was taken from the streets, and how she ran back to the orphanage where she found Uncle Hare and the nobleman talking.

While she explained how they had tried to find out what happened with the guards at the church, the butler came back with a honeyed concoction. He made me drink it slowly as I continued signing back and forth with Jade, who had also been served a cup of tea and would interrupt her explanations to take a sip. She looked a bit like a fish out of water sitting in such a fancy room, but so did I, I guess. She took it in stride and nodded thankfully to the butler as he offered her more tea. 

The man looked on at our silent discussion with great interest. He politely interrupted our conversation a few times to ask questions to Jade regarding what the symbol meant, which she happily explained to him as he repeated the symbols on his own hands as if to commit them to memory.

His interest was a bit surprising to me. 

Hare had offered to teach the other kids at the orphanage how to learn our secret language on many occasions, but they had all refused. Jade being the only exception… And now this perfect stranger wanted to learn it? 

Very odd…

But I kept my focus on Jade’s story, which was much more interesting. I never realised that the Scorn Kinsmann I met the day of my baptism was a Bishop! I was even more fascinated with the descriptions of the Kin Archkinsmann they had met. I had never met a kin after all. From what I gathered from her descriptions, he sounded like he looked a lot like Scorn herself.

-... And then Sir V’lᵍr slashed the mean lady’s hand, and we were finally able to rescue you!-

As Jade recounted the end of their adventure, I clapped in excitement. 

It felt like a fairytale or an adventure story. One in which I was the one being rescued from a dangerous dungeon instead! 

All throughout her story, she brought up over and over again the deeds of that one red-haired, golden-eyed nobleman. 

He started to remind me of that hero from a series of books Ela used to read to me… What was that character's name… Lionheart! 

Yeah, that was a good name. I think I'll refer to him as Lionheart, too, since they're so similar. 

I couldn’t help but beam at the idea of a Lionheart of my own, going on an adventure to fight evil knights and save me. 

Jade reached the moment of the story when they finally burst into the room I was held in.

-He cut the evil lady’s hand off?!- I asked, but she shook her head.

-No. It was more like… A scratch… But it looked like it really hurt!- She said seriously.

I was slightly disappointed to hear that the person who had ripped Darkie apart had gotten away with just a scratch on the hand…

 Which reminds me… What happened to Dar…

As I was about to ask, the door opened and Lionheart entered the room, followed by Hare. Their expression turned to relief when they saw that Jade and I were talking to each other excitedly. 

Hare approached the bed and hugged me tightly.

-Are you okay? Nothing hurts?- He signed with a worried expression on his face. 

I shook my head, and his tense shoulders relaxed a little. Meanwhile, Lionheart simply smiled and bowed respectfully, which flustered me. I didn’t know how I was supposed to reply properly while sitting in a bed like this. He turned to Jade and asked her something. She nodded and turned back to me.

-He said he’s really happy that you’re alright.- Jade translated for me.

I gave a short bow in return. 

Something seemed to cross Hare’s mind at that moment, and he started digging through his bag. When he too his hand out, I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

It was Darkie! 

He looked a bit different. There were new stitches on his shoulder, and the paws were in a bit of a different direction, but it was definitely him!

[Darkie!]

“Silika!”

Hare handed the bunny to me and I squeezed his small body with all my might.

[I was so scared, Darkie! I missed you! I thought that… That…]

“It’s okay, Silika! I’m all okay now!”

I smiled and wiped away my tears.

[Yes! You’re okay! I’m so glad!]

I continued hugging him until I felt all my tears dry away. When I looked up again, they all seemed to be talking about something amongst each other.

-What’s going on?- I asked Jade.

She hesitated for a moment before looking at Hare, who also looked back at her and exchanged a few uncertain glances. He said something to Lionheart, and this one answered with a confident nod and a few more words. 

Hare finally turned to me.

-There’s… Something we have to discuss, Silika. It’s important.-

I nodded.

The room felt a bit tense. Not like the violent tension I was used to. It was a different feeling. Like… As if something was very difficult to say. I couldn’t really describe it. Whatever it was, though, surrounded by people I loved, I was ready for anything they had to tell me.

In a flash, the butler brought some chairs for them to sit on. Jade grabbed my hand and gave me one of her signature smiles meant to reassure me. 

She seemed rather calm.

They got seated, and the butler stepped out of the room. 

Hare looked at me, then at Lionheart, and then back at me.

-You met our friend Baron Ṃrsḥll ᐊshbȑk before, isn't that right?- He asked as he pointed to Lionheart.

I nodded happily. 

It was a bit odd, though, I had two conflicting images of the man in my mind. I had the image of a hero who had come to rescue me from that terrible place, but also the one of him crying by my side at the church… But somehow, it made me feel closer to him. I had been the one at his side when he was having a tough time, and now had come to save when I was in a difficult situation.

It felt… Fair.

-Baron ᐊshbȑk and I have been talking… And after careful consideration... I would like to discuss the same thing with you. I know it’s a bit sudden, but I think it makes a lot of sense, especially after everything that's happened in the last two days... I hope you will think about what we're about to discuss seriously, but don’t worry! We all care about you, so whatever you decide, it will be fine!-

Hare was going in circles. As though he was unsure how to say what he really meant, but as I didn’t know what it was all about myself, all I could do was nod along and wait for him to say what he had to say.

-He is a very kind man and cares about people… About you… When you were kidnapped, he…- Hare tried to sign, increasingly making mistakes in his words.

Jade interrupted Hare by placing her hand on his trembling finger as if to tell him to calm down before continuing. 

My heart was beating strongly in my chest. I wasn't scared of what was to come, but seeing Hare in such a state made me worried.

Hare took a deep breath and went for it.

-Silika. Ṃrsḥll ᐊshbȑk, the man sitting beside me, would like to adopt you.- He finally signed.

No hesitation or mistakes in his hands.

The nobleman, just off to my right, wanted to adopt me.

I, Silika, the deaf orphan of Plum Street.

It felt like a hollow bell had been rung in my head and was now resonating through my whole body. 

I couldn’t describe what this emotion was. Was it joy? Excitement? Anger? Sadness? Or just confusion?

I was at a loss for words and looked for answers in the people around me. Their faces were neither happy nor angry. 

They were determined. 

The man, the same I had now taken to calling Lionheart only a few minutes ago, bent forward and clumsily moved his finger as he spoke to me.

-We don’t know each other well.-

He gave a quick glance at Jade, who nodded to confirm he had properly signed. He continued.

-But in this short time, you completely changed my life. I want to help change yours.-

He took a deep breath.

-Will you become my daughter?- He finally asked.

I froze and looked at Jade.

What did that mean? What was happening? Becoming someone’s daughter? Did that mean he wanted to be my father? Could he even do that, even though I already had a father…? 

Hare said something to Lionheart. The man nodded before stepping out of the room.

-Does that mean you don’t want me to live with you any more?- I asked them. 

I could already feel the tears flooding my eyes.

-NO! No, no, no, no, not at all!- Hare signed hurriedly.

-We just want you to be happy!-

I looked at Jade for help. I didn’t understand. I needed her wisdom.

-It’s okay, Silika, it’s your choice! Baron ᐊshbȑk really cares about you, and he will take good care of you if you stay here, but we'll be just as happy if you come back to the orphanage with us! But honestly, I think you would be very happy here!- She said with a soothing smile.

-Will you also come live here too…?- I asked her hesitantly.

What could I even do without her?

And yet, she shook her head.

I felt the tears overflowing again.

-So I won’t ever see you again?-

I felt my heart breaking. Was I that disposable to them? 

Jade’s eyes grew wide, and she shook her head vehemently.

-No! Of course not! We will see each other all the time! I will come play here, and you can come play at the orphanage or at the church as well!- She explained, trying her best to reassure me.

I was confused. Why should I even come live here if I could go back to the orphanage with them? I looked back and forth between her and Hare for some kind of answer.

-Silika.- Hare said.

-I think you should accept.- He signed with a serious look, seemingly at the surprise of Jade. 

Apparently, she had not been so sure herself.

Hare continued.

-There are a lot of dangers out there. A lot of challenges as well. I thought I could handle them for you all on my own, but after yesterday, I’m not so sure. My heart wants to tell you to come back with us when we leave this evening, but my head knows that this isn’t the right thing to do. At the orphanage, you will always be at risk for things like yesterday to happen again… And although this time we were lucky, there’s no saying how things could have gone if Lord ᐊshbȑk had not shown at the moment he did.-

He seemed to have trouble swallowing his saliva, and his brows were sweating profusely.

-He is a noble. He is strong. He is smart and kind … Most importantly, he cares about you.  You will always have a place at the orphanage, of course, but this place could bring you so much more. So please consider it seriously, Silika.-

He leaned back in his chair. Seemingly having said everything he had to. He stood up and also left the room, followed by the butler.

I looked at the last person in the room.

-Jade?- I asked with trembling hands.

She had tears in her eyes as well now.

Unable to say anything, she hugged me tightly.

We stayed like that for a long time. The cool wind was blowing gently through the open windows and bristling past our faces.

She let go of me.

-Whatever you choose, Silika, we will always be friends. Best friends! Forever! Okay?-

I nodded.

She smiled and stood up from the bed, and also headed out through the door.

I looked down at Darkie, tucked in my arms.

[What do you think? What should we do?] I asked as I raised him to my face. 

His yellow button eyes were shining in the sun filtering through the windows.

“I think you already know what you want to do.” He simply said cheerfully.

I smiled, drying my tears with my sleeve, and nodded.

I was left on my own for a while. It gave me time to reflect on everything that happened to me since that day in the clearing. It had been a bit less than a year now, and yet, it felt like an eternity had gone by. I thought of all the terrible things that happened, what I'd lost and the pain I'd experienced… But I also thought about all the good that had happened to me. How I had met Goldie, Jade, Hare, Scorn and now Lionheart. All of them changed my life in ways I couldn't fully understand, but I was eternally grateful for them.

I took a deep breath as I looked out of the window.

This was the smell of Evergreen. The greatest city in the world. A place so different from Oblon that I couldn't even begin to compare them… And yet, there were so many more things out there to be discovered.

After a while, they all came back to the room. I had made my way out of the bed and was now standing in front of the bed holding Darkie in my arms.

Hare knelt down in front of me.

-So. What is your decision, Silika?-

I stared at them one at a time. Hare, Jade, Lionheart and even the old butler. All had a calm smile written across their faces.

"Everything will be alright." I heard Darkie whisper from my arms.

I took a deep breath.

[ I want to… ]