28. Ushering of a new day

-I hate this…- I complained as I tugged on the stiff dress the church attendants were forced to wear. 

The fabric was rough and itchy as I shuffled from foot to foot, trying to find a position that wasn't quite as uncomfortable as the others.

-Please bear with it, it's only for today.- Jade reminded me as she motioned for me to get back in place.

We were standing at one of the 4 great doors of the church. In front of us, hundreds of people were standing, waiting for the bells to ring, announcing the beginning of the festival.

Just as she had explained to me a few days ago, Jade and I had been recruited among many of the other orphans to help with seating guests at the church. We'd practised manners and the process endlessly yesterday under the guidance of the church's Kinsmanns. The Kinsmann in charge, an older, grey-haired man, was difficult to satisfy, but eventually we managed to bow in just the right way.

And now, here we were. Jade had been assigned as a greeter for our table. She would be in charge of welcoming the guests and finding them on the list. Three other girls and I at the same table had been assigned as ushers and would guide the guests to their seats.

After yesterday's practice, and having created the seating plan myself, I was pretty confident that I could do my job, but looking at the crowd in front of us, there were so many people….

I think the bells finally rang, and the guests started making their way toward us.

-Get ready.- Jade signed to me with a serious expression.

I nodded and stood as straight as I could, just as I had been taught yesterday.

Almost instantly, a line of people formed in front of Jade. She happily welcomed them, reading off the list and letting us, the ushers, help them find their seats.

The first group I ushered in was a family of four. The father sported deep blue hair while the mother had a head of gold. Their eyes were both a shade of dark orange colour. It was especially fascinating to see their children, who had hair which shone a different hue depending on the light; both blue and gold. Who knew those colours could be so similar?

Ela had explained to me long ago that the eyes and hair of children could be either the same as one of their parents, a mix, or the same as some of their ancestors. I found it more interesting when it was a mix, but apparently, the colour would more often than not shift one way or another as they grew up.

It got me wondering if that was what happened to my eyes, but as far as I understood it, this type of change would take place when you became a teenager, not a six-year-old...

The family was seated toward the centre of the church, so I figured they must be some kind of lower nobility or bourgeoisie if I remembered the seating chart properly. The commoners roughly made up less than a quarter of the guest lists, surprisingly. From discussing with Jade yesterday, it seems to be because the church event was organised to fund the rest of the festival, therefore attending the ceremony required a minimum donation amount that would be considered quite steep for a commoner. 

Nobles from around the whole city were also flocking to this church specifically… I wonder why that is?

The second group I escorted were two pairs of couples. One elderly and one recently married. The young couple were stuck to each other, barely paying attention to Jade or me while they were being ushered in. The old couple, on the other hand, were overly talkative, even having Jade convey how happy they were for such a ‘pretty young rose’ to show them to their place. 

I was happy for the compliment, although I wasn’t sure I was overly happy about being called a rose. They were the second, after Lady Scorn, to have called me that way… I wonder if it comes from a story or something?

Honestly, I didn’t like it. Pink was the colour of ‘those people’, not mine. I didn’t want my hair to be pink. I wanted it to be black, like Goldie, Darkie or Scorn…

I guided the couple to their seats and walked back to the entrance. The seating was going well. I ushered in what felt like endless waves of people. The church was starting to look rather packed as another girl sat the last person in line.

We all let out a sigh of relief. 

It wouldn’t be long before we could all go back home and play.

Just as I was about to ask Jade where we should watch the welcoming event from, a man approached the table. He walked hunched forward, his wine-coloured hair covering most of his face. For a moment, I thought he was an old man from the way he walked, but only until he reached the table, and I could get a good look at him. 

He was tall. Taller than Hare… Or any adult I had met, and he definitely wasn’t an old man. Maybe Goldie or Hare’s age. 

As he raised his head to speak his name to Jade, I finally saw his face. He was a handsome man. The contours of his jaw were angular and strong, but there was something about him. Something sad. His cheek looked sunken, and above them  I could see… Golden eyes… 

They moved in my direction; they had deep, dark circles underneath them. 

We locked eyes for a moment as he simply stared at me. A sad glimmer in his gaze as though he would start crying at any moment.

Jade turned to me and gave me his seat number: 7-1. He was an upper noble, maybe a baron or even a count?

I nodded to her, and bowed to the man before inviting him to follow me. I walked a few paces before looking back, just to realise he had not moved an inch. He simply stared at me, sad and unmoving. I looked at Jade for help, but she was just as confused as I was.

-What do I do?-

-I don't know?-

We furtively signed to each other.

I looked toward the front. There wasn’t much time, the ceremony was about to start…

I walked back to the man and decisively grabbed his hand. His eyes grew wide with surprise, while Jade started making panicked motions toward me, but it was too late. I started pulling him along. Luckily, he didn't resist and simply followed me..

[11...10...9...8...7...6….5!] I quickly mumbled to myself as we went down the aisle and finally reached his seat. 

I turned around to show him, but to my dismay, I noticed something on his face. 

It was… tears? The man was crying?! A grown-up is crying? Right now? In here?!

I looked around for help. But people were already focusing on the event starting up at the front, and the doors had already closed at the back.

I tried to stay calm and think about what to do next. I couldn’t just leave the man crying in the middle of the church like that!

I recalled the Kinsmann’s instructions. If anything came up, we could just go meet with Kinsmann Fĺć. She should be in the back coordinating everyone.

I took a deep breath. Before I pulled the man along once more, this time heading for the side aisle so we wouldn't draw attention to ourselves. There, we went down the side of the main hall until we reached a door that accessed the area behind the main altar. 

I pulled the man along and found the Fey kinsmann. She was still giving directions to volunteers, but when she saw me approaching with the man, she quickly dismissed the group and headed towards us.

She gave one good look at me and the man and seemed to roughly understand what was going on. She was about to say something and grab the man’s arm, but someone called out to her. Looking a bit guilty, she knelt down to me and pointed at one of the prayer rooms and showed me her index finger to indicate to me she would be there momentarily.

I looked at the man. He still looked pitiful, but at least his crying had calmed down ever so slightly. 

I walked to the prayer room and took a seat on one of the pews, but he, again, simply stood there and stared at me with a vacant look. 

I tapped the seat with my palm to invite him to take a seat beside me. After hesitating a moment, he sat down and looked up at the front of the room. I followed his gaze. There, I saw an elaborate carving of the goddess of law, Seeir. Her piercing eyes seemingly glaring at us underneath her sturdy brow, her straight nose and wolf-like proportions pointing at us almost accusingly. 

They say that all Scorn sculptures look like they are staring right at you, wherever you might be standing in a room, judging the righteousness of your actions… And this one was no exception.

It wasn't a rare sight, though, especially in a church, but the man looked transfixed with it for a moment before slouching forward and putting his face in his hands as he began to sob once more. 

Uhh… 

I felt uncomfortable with the situation. Usually, I was the one crying, and Jade or Hare would try to make me feel better. I didn't know what to do when the roles were reversed.

What would Jade normally do in this situation?

Nervously, I extended my arm as high as I could and patted the man's back the way Goldie had done long ago when I had been the one crying.

He looked down at me for a moment, pensive, before looking up at the statue once again. 

He began talking while facing away from me. 

Maybe he was praying? Maybe to Seeir? Talking about the things that make him upset, the same way I did to Scorn before bed?

After a moment, he turned toward me and paused. He quickly cast his eyes downward as he continued for a while, speaking to the floor. Every so often, I noticed his eyes would dart in my direction. 

That's when I realised that he wasn't confessing his worries and sadness to Seeir, as I had thought. 

He was speaking to me.

Eventually, he stopped and looked at me expectantly, looking for some sort of answer or reply. 

I had no way to tell what it was that he said, but I guess it couldn't hurt to try and say something back to him?

I scratched my head. Compared to Jade or Hare, I didn't exactly have a way with words. I didn't know how to reassure someone or make them feel like everything would be alright… 

What I did know was how it was to feel bad.

[Honestly, I...I don't really understand a lot of things… I don’t understand what you’re saying to me right now. I don't understand why I stopped hearing things. I don't understand why no one can understand me or why the Meiriem Bishop was so angry with me…] 

Nervous, I glanced up at him, expecting an annoyed look or a hint of anger, but nothing happened. He patiently looked at me. So, I cleared my throat and continued.

[I don't know why the Bishop slapped me. I don't understand why my dad hit me as well, or why he made my siblings do it too. I don't know why my mom tried to strangle me… And I don't know why the memories of all of it still keep me up at night and make me do bad things…]

I stopped talking for a moment as I felt myself choking on my words. I hadn't spoken so much in a long time. I looked up toward him. I couldn't tell if he understood me, but he wasn't angry. He was listening attentively as though he understood every word that came out of my mouth.

[I don't understand why bad things happen... But I do know good things happen, too. Goldie took care of me. She made me Darkie. She helped me escape from the estate and sent me to the orphanage. And then, I met Hare… And Jade… And even that stupid chubby purple boy! I played games and went to the market. And now I even learned to speak a secret language! A lot of good things happened to me...]

I looked at him and tried to smile as best I could.

[I don't know what happened to you or what made you sad, but I'm sure something good will happen to you, too. I just know it.]

He looked at me, a dumbfounded expression on his face. He quickly dug into his pocket and offered me a handkerchief. 

It's only at that moment that I realised that at one point or another, I had started tearing up as well.

I accepted the handkerchief and quickly tried to dry my face as tears continued streaming from my eyes. 

I managed to calm down just as Kinsmann Fĺć arrived in the room.

She looked back and forth between me and the man and smiled. She gave a small thankful bow in my direction and let me know I could leave.

I got up and bowed to the man as well.

I suddenly remembered the handkerchief still in my hands. I tried to give it back, but the man gave a weak attempt at a smile before lifting his hand and shaking his head.

Am I misunderstanding? He’s… Giving me his handkerchief?

Suddenly, stories about gallant knights giving princesses handkerchiefs flooded my mind, and I felt my cheeks and the tip of my ears burning a bright red. 

I quickly gave an awkward curtsy before rapidly escaping the room before anyone could notice.

I nervously paced through the back area, keeping my head down so no one could see the red of my cheeks.

I immediately regretted my actions. 

Why did I curtsy? Why did I curtsy? Orphans don’t curtsy, only ladies curtsy! What if I get in trouble? I must keep it a secret from Jade or she'll scold me for sure… 

I tucked the handkerchief in my pocket and headed back to the church entrance, where the other children were still waiting for the end of the ceremony right by the entrance doors.

Jade noticed me and waved me in.

-What happened? Where were you?-

-Long story. I will tell you later.-

I answered, trying to hide my flustered expression.

Shortly after, the ceremony came to a close. 

We stood in rows along the now-opened doors and smiled at the guests as they left the dim church for the bright outdoors of the plaza.

Although the festival officially began today, Jade had explained to me, the actual public attraction wouldn’t start until tomorrow, so once most of the guests were gone, we slowly made our way back to the orphanage, where a generous meal had been prepared by the church as thanks for our help.

We ate our fill and spent an uneventful afternoon.

The next day, I woke up early, and with Jade, we prepared to head out to the festival. 

I dressed in my best dress, one that had the least amount of patches, and made sure to pack Darkie and the copper coins I had saved up in my yellow satchel. 

Excited, I met up with Jade at the door and headed out into the busy streets

Just as we were about to leave the yard, we ran into a man walking up the path to the orphanage.

It took me a moment to recognise him. With his straight posture, clean face and composed expression, he looked like a completely different person but it was unmistakable. With his fiery hair and golden eyes, this was the same man I had met just yesterday at the church. 

He still looked very tired, with dark circles under his eyes, but nowhere near yesterday’s condition.

When he noticed me, a bright smile spread across his lips. He came to greet us both and had a short discussion with Jade while I tried my best to make myself small. I was still embarrassed about the handkerchief and the curtsy incident yesterday. If he mentionned it to Jade… I quietly died of embarassement as Jade and he wrapped up their conversation.

Jade bowed politely. I followed her example as I gave an embarrassed smile.

He bowed his head in response and let us go past him before he, himself, continued making his way up the path to the orphanage.

I raised an eyebrow at Jade as we stepped onto the street, but she simply shrugged.

-He just said ‘hello’ and wished us a good festival.-

We continued on our way to the festival, but I couldn’t stop wondering: Why was the man from yesterday at the orphanage now…?