25. Our house

[One, two, three, four stains on the wall, and nothing at all…] I hummed to myself as I hung my head upside down from the edge of the windowsill, looking at the opposite side of the room.

It had been a while since breakfast had ended. Jade had been taking lessons with Hare almost every other morning for the last few weeks, and every time, I was incredibly bored. I even tried to follow Jade into lessons a couple of times, but for some reason, Hare didn’t allow it.

I brought Darkie up to my face, his ears standing straight from being upside down.

[Hey Darkie, why is this place so boring?]

“Boring? I don’t think it’s boring.”

[It is. It’s reeeaaaallly boring.]

“But there are plenty of friends around, couldn’t you just play with them?”

[The other kids are mean to me. Only Jade is nice.]

“How is that possible? I’m sure some of the other kids and you could become great friends if you tried to get along!”

[Pfft! As if!] I said as I brought him back to my chest and squeezed. 

As my eyes glazed over the room, someone took the spot where Darkie had been a moment ago. I glanced down… Or maybe I should say up.

[Oh, it’s you, purple boy.] I declared, raising an eyebrow.

He also raised an eyebrow and said something. Starting to feel dizzy, I spun back around and sat up on the window edge and shrugged at whatever he had asked me.

It didn’t really matter what he said. Either he was coming to pick a fight, or he was just as bored as I was. 

Winter was still raging outside, and we little kids were only allowed outside a few hours at a time in the afternoon… In small groups, too, since there weren’t enough snow clothes for everyone.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, and he then looked back and pointed with his thumb at something there. I tilted to the side to see what was behind him and noticed a few other kids gathering around.

I guess they were organising some kind of game?

[Well, I’m bored either way…] I mumbled to myself.

I nodded, accepting his invitation, and jumped to my feet. I followed him toward the group. The other kids were already sitting in a circle which I quickly joined. 

Once everyone was settled down, purple boy explained something before he started going around the group, hovering his head over the others’ heads. I observed him as he did. I couldn’t tell for sure, but he seemed to be saying something out loud as he continued his routine. Then, suddenly, he touched someone’s head. The person immediately got up to their feet and tried to catch him, but the purple boy managed to run around the circle and steal their spot. 

Oh, I know that game! Duck, Duck, Goose! 

I had played it once with my siblings and a few maids! But didn’t you usually say something for the game to work?

You would touch other people’s heads and go ‘duck, duck, duck’. When you went ‘goose’, the person would be it and run after you. But how did the game work if I couldn’t hear?

I watched the new boy who had become ‘it’ as he went around the circle. His hand hovered over everyone’s head, and when he finally touched someone’s head and exclaimed something, that person went after him.

Did that mean that… Did they change the rules for me?

The girl who was ‘it’ began going around the circle, and I then felt a light tap on my scalp. It took me a moment to register what had just happened, but when I did, I excitedly rushed to my feet and started running as quickly as I could, but she was already halfway around the circle by then. I tried my best to go after her, but it was too late and she stole my spot.

[I guess I’m the goose now…]

I copied what the other children had done and hovered my hand over the other as I slowly hummed to myself. One round, two rounds. Looking at the faces and postures of others. They seemed too enthralled in the game and their chattering to even notice something was different. And then, suddenly, someone began slouching forward. Distracted, time to strike! I took the opportunity and tapped their head.

[Goose!] I declared.

I ran as fast as I could around the circle, but just as I was about to reach his spot, he touched my shoulder and rushed back to his spot as he giggled. And so we started the game again. I lost 2 more times, but it was still fun, and everyone looked like they were laughing. 

Eventually, I managed to secure a spot and catch my breath. They went a few rounds where, but I didn't get to rest for long, as a few rounds later, I was tagged again. 

As I walked around the circle, I wondered who I should race next. I looked at the purple boy intently. It was about time he and I had a real match! As I passed him, I quickly touched his arm and began running as fast as I could. 

He took a moment to react, but he quickly got up and went after me. 

I ran as fast as I could. 

His spot was coming into view when I felt a tug on my sleeve.

Damn, he got me!

I stopped in my tracks, but the boy, still holding onto my shirt, didn’t slow down nearly as quickly and accidentally continued pulling me along, sending me tumbling to the ground behind him.

Disoriented, I groaned as I tried to get back up to my feet.

I could feel tears welling up, but I tried my best to hold them in. It was just a tumble. I’m a big girl. It's nothing to cry about!

But I wasn’t able to hold back the tears that came pouring from my eyes despite my best attemp at holding myself back. 

The other kids immediately broke the circle to come and check on me. Even the purple boy looked worried as he helped me up to my feet. 

Suddenly, the attention shifted towards the door where Hare was suddenly standing, arms crossed and brows furrowed. 

He looked very angry. He said something to the purple boy, who gritted his teeth in response as he cast his eyes downward. 

He was getting scolded… Because of me.

As much as I hated purple boy, he didn’t deserve it this time. I was the one who lost my balance. 

Still crying and wiping my tears, I walked between them and stood in front of the purple boy. I looked up at Hare, whose eyes turned to me, his brows relaxing a little. I then looked at the purple boy. Who looked like he was on the border of tears himself. 

How do I solve this misunderstanding? I guess I have to show Hre that I’m not angry at purple boy… 

So maybe I should… 

Oh, I can’t believe I have to do this…

As I sniffled and wiped more tears, I approached the purple boy and hugged him. My whole body felt as though it wanted to reject the interaction as the hair stood on my neck, but I knew it had to be done. Not just because I felt bad… But also because I knew that if they got punished for it, no one would ever invite me to play again if I didn’t do this much.

I quickly stepped back, still wiping my tears and looked up at Hare again. Hopefully, that was enough to clear up the misunderstanding.

His face relaxed and he let his crossed arms down. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before saying something, walking up to the boy and hugging him. The boy seemed reluctant at first, but then hugged Hare back, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. It’s at that moment that Jade appeared and walked up to me. She made some hand movements while looking at me. Seeing my lack of response, she then pointed to my legs and tilted her head. 

Realising she was asking where I was hurt, I nodded my head as I pointed to my legs. 

She took me by the hand and walked me to the office where the bandages were. She lifted my skirt to reveal my skidded knees. She applied some ointment and wrapped a layer of bandage over it. Hare joined us after a moment and spoke to Jade as I munched on a candy she had taken from the bowl on his desk. 

After the two finished speaking. Hare looked at me and pointed upward, where the classroom was before heading out. 

Wait, was I getting punished for this? 

I began sulking, but Jade kept smiling and tried to cheer me up. I dragged my feet as we made our way up the stairs.

We entered the classroom, and Hare was standing at the front, placing things on the table in front of him. I guess this isn't a time-out after all. We’re just having class.

I couldn’t hold in a sigh. Another day of practising strange symbols…

Jade walked me all the way to the desk where Hare was arranging some sort of cards on the table. Were those word cards? We did a thing before where there were cards with images and writing. So maybe that was it.

We sat down, and Hare smiled at me. He said something to Jade and then flipped a card and showed it to me. It looked similar to word cards. There was an image, but underneath, instead of words, there was the crude drawing of a hand. 

The drawing was a simple house, and beneath, the pair of hands formed a pyramid.  Hare pointed at the room around us and made the same motion as the pair of hands on the card, followed by Jade. 

They looked at me expectantly. 

A bit confused, I put my hand in the same shape, and the two of them cheered. I felt confused, but that didn’t stop them. Hare flipped another card with a funny-looking character pointing at himself, underneath, the drawing of a thumb facing backwards. Again, Hare and Jade did the same thing as in the image. Pointing their thumb at themselves. 

I copied them again. 

Hare again flipped another card, this time with two characters with one pointing at the other, the hand underneath showing an index finger pointing away. They then each pointed a finger at me. I copied them.

They got to a third card with two characters simultaneously pointing at each other, while the symbol showed an index pointed at an angle over the shoulder. Hare then did the same sign as he did first with his thumb pointed at Jade, then me, and then did the newest sign.

I looked at him, repeating it several times. As I tried to make sense of what was going on. 

Was that… A way to talk with just your hand? A secret language of sorts? 

I copied Hare. Pointed at myself.

[Me]

Then, at Jade and Hare.

[You and you]

Then did the last sign.

[Us.]

They nodded excitedly.

Hare then flipped more cards. A character holding something against his chest, underneath a closed fist on his chest.

My.

A character holding something against someone else, a closed fist pointing to someone.

Your.

Two characters holding something, a fist held at an angle.

Our.

I looked at Jade and Hare. 

I did the sign for ‘Our’ and ‘House’.

They nodded with smiles on their faces.

Our house, I repeated to myself.

I couldn’t help but start to laugh. Which quickly turned to tears. 

I continued laughing and crying uncontrollably. Jade hugged me tightly as I continued crying.

Our house. It’s our house…

Those were the first words I ever truly told them. 

It was a long journey, and it took hours of sweat, tears and effort, but slowly, I regained the ability to communicate with the world around me.