22. Celebration

After the baptism, I sat in the prayer room, admiring my newly acquired Scorn insignia. 

It looked beautiful with a raven holding a sharp-pointed diagonal cross. The same shape as Scorn’s Irises. Its wings folded over the cross, and its beak nestled in the upper notch.

Some distance away, at the front of the chapel, the Scorn Archkinsmann was discussing with Hare. 

After my encounter with Scorn and my return to the cathedral, I had -accidentally- caused a bit of a scene… Having momentarily forgotten about my ‘deafness’, I’d started shouting loudly at the Archkinsmann, forcing Hare to quickly intervene as all eyes had turned to me at once… Which was a good thing anyway, since I would have been confused about what to do once the baptism was over otherwise.

Once everyone’s baptism was over, I was meant to follow the Kinsmann into the individual prayer room to receive my insignia. And then, I assume, I was also supposed to receive some guidance and explanations regarding Scorn's teachings, but as I couldn’t hear the Kinsmanns' explanations or read the holy text, it was Hare who hastily noted down the man’s explanations.

Looking around the room, it was blatantly obvious that I was the only child the Archkinsmann had baptised today.

[Scorn isn’t very popular, is she?] I asked Darkie.

“I guess we weren’t the only ones who thought she was evil…”

[Yeah, but it’s true that it’s a bit confusing. Hating people is a good thing? She was very convincing, but it is a bit weird…]

“Are you having second thoughts?”

[No! Not at all! I just think that it’s normal that people find it confusing…]

While Darkie and I talked to each other, Hare and the Archkinsmann finished their discussion and began walking toward us. I looked up as Hare sat at my side, and the archkinsmann bent forward and showed me something in the palm of his hand. It looked like a small, darkened metal cube. 

He held his insignia hanging around his neck and closed his eyes for a moment. Suddenly, the cube shook and transformed into a ring. He opened his eyes again and brought the strange ring closer to me. After a moment, it turned back into a cube. He focused on it once more, and it changed shape, this time into a small bird.

It’s a blessing! A real blessing! It was my first time ever seeing one! Ela always said it wasn’t something to play with and always refused to show me hers, but this was really the real deal!

As I admired it, the bird turned back into a cube. The Archkinsmann looked at me. Hare indicated for me to open my hand like he had, so I followed his example.

He dropped the cube into my palm. Just as quickly as it made contact with my skin, it let out a small shock that rode up my hand.

I instinctively pulled away, dropping the cube on the ground and yelping in pain.

The golden-eyed man shook his head while his expression remained neutral. 

He held his insignia against his chest and bent down to pick up the cube on the floor. He showed it to me again and, bringing the insignia closer, made it turn into a stick. 

He extended his hand to place the cube in mine again, but I pulled away as I looked up to Hare for guidance, but he simply insisted that I follow along with the man.

Against my better judgment, I opened my palm once again. The man placed the cube at its centre, and once again it stung me, but maybe since I was expecting it, it didn’t hurt quite as much. It was still very uncomfortable to hold, almost like holding a ball of needles, but I managed, I’d experienced much worse in the past after all…

I looked down at the thing in my hand and tried my best to focus on making its appearance change into something more pleasant, but nothing happened from simply thinking it should change shape. The pain grew too much, and I placed the cube back in his hand. 

He focused on the cube intently, seemingly deep in thought. After a moment, he brought his insignia forward and pointed to it meaningfully.

Did he mean that I needed to pray?

Scorn did teach me a prayer, didn’t she?

I tried to say it out loud.

[I will not be bound by chains; I will not drink the poison of deceit; I will resist the hand of oppression; I will walk away without shame; I will speak truth, even if it splits the world; I wield hate, not to destroy, but to move forward.]

I was surprised that the words naturally came to my mind. The words were difficult, and I had expected that I would forget most, if not all of it, but mysteriously it felt as though they were etched into me. 

Unfortunately, despite my perfect recollection, the cube remained unchanged. As it stung me again, frustration took over me, and I screamed out.

[Change you STUPID thing!]

In an instant, the cube’s shape morphed into a beautiful flower. The stinging stopped, and I was able to admire the dark flower for the few seconds where it retained its shape before it turned back into its cube shape.

...How did that happen? It didn’t work the first few times… Maybe it’s because I got annoyed at it...? No…No, the feeling I experienced was hate... At that moment, I hated that cube; I wanted it gone.

And so it changed.

The archkinsmann smiled and nodded approvingly.

Before it could shock me again, he picked it up from my palm and put it inside a small velvet pouch, which he handed to me.

So it was a gift? I guess so, I could practice my blessing...

He said a few words to Hare before turning back to me. He handed me a small book he dug out from his pocket. 

The black cover had the Scorn insignia engraved in gold and the words:

‘Sċrn Ċmmndmnts'

It must be the Scorn holy book!

I excitedly took it from him and began flipping through the pages, but was disappointed to find only tightly printed text on its pages.

After talking with the Archkinsmann for a while longer, Hare stood up from the pews.

I tried to follow suit with great difficulty. Holding on to all the things I was given, as well as Darkie, was becoming a challenging task. 

Hare tried to help by taking the pouch away from me, but I pulled away. I wanted to show Jade later, and I don’t know when the next opportunity would be if I left it up to him.

We made our way back to the main hall, where the other children were rejoining their families after their baptisms. There were no more lines, only excited children and their parents, all admiring their new insignias and other trinkets. 

Meanwhile, the other orphans were all standing in a corner, a young Kinsmann at their side. The older kids were trying to look excited about the newly baptised children, but it was obvious they were bored with waiting for everyone to get back. When they spotted Hare and me, their eyes lit up. The younger children ran right up to Hare, showing him their spoils.

I was quickly shoved away from Hare by the excited kids trying to get his attention. It didn’t bother me as I was more excited to find Jade and show her my Scorn medalion, but I was interrupted. 

It was the boy again, the same fat purple-haired boy who tripped me at breakfast, wearing a shiny new trinket around his neck. I didn’t recognise the design, and I didn’t care for it either way.

He looked down at the insignia around my neck. An ugly smile appeared on his face as he spouted something. His constant taunting was getting old. I looked away, disinterested. Angry at my reaction, he tried to yank my necklace away from me, but he was interrupted.

Jade had grabbed the boy's hand. She said something to him angrily before pushing his hand away. She put herself between us, towering almost a full head above him and simply stared him down. It was in these moments that I remembered how tall she really was... He tried to glare back at her but eventually turned tail.

Letting out a sigh, Jade turned to me with a big smile on her face.

She immediately picked me up and squeezed me into a big hug for a long time. When she finally put me down, she gently took my insignia in her hands and looked at it. I could tell she was very curious about it as she traced the relief with her finger… But I could also see a hint of worry.

She, too, was probably unfamiliar with what ‘hate’ really represented… I hope I can someday explain it to her.

We waited until the last few stragglers came back from their baptism before leaving as a group and making our way back to the orphanage.

As we shook off the cold of the outside, I was surprised to find that some other adults were already there, cooking food, decorating the orphanage and chatting amongst themselves. Most of them looked well-dressed and distinguished. Perhaps not noble-like, but more affluent than the people who lived around here, that’s for certain. 

I looked around at the way they had transformed the orphanage.

Baptism was a huge time of celebration, even for households without children. It was a time for families to get together and celebrate, but I didn’t expect this would happen here too! 

I rushed into the main playroom, which had been turned into a reception hall for today, and was excited to find a huge pile of gifts! A baptism day wasn’t a real baptism day without gifts! I had no idea they would also celebrate it like that here as well! 

I looked back excitedly and saw Jade beaming at me as if this was all her doing.

Well, I guess she did keep it a secret... Although that was no miracle in my case.

I hugged her again. Just as I did, I felt my stomach grumble strongly. I suddenly remembered that with all the day’s excitements, we didn’t even have time to catch lunch! 

I looked around and noticed some kids were already walking around with plates filled with festive foods. I started salivating as I tried to find the nearest food. It didn’t even occur to me how surprising it was that we were allowed to eat outside the dining room!

Jade followed my gaze and immediately understood where my mind had wandered. She raised a thumb and pointed at the windowsill we usually sat on. I figured that she was telling me to wait there while she went to grab food, and I nodded enthusiastically. 

She left the room, and I headed for the windowsill. I put the things I was still carrying on top and hoisted myself up and onto a pillow. Once on top, I put Darkie on my lap and glanced at the snowflakes lazily falling from the sky just outside the window. Now that I’d experienced the cold, I could really appreciate how nice it was to stay in here all day.

While I waited for Jade to come back, I considered taking out the cube and trying to play with it again, but when I remembered the shocks, I opted against it. Instead, I opened the book that the Scorn Archkinsmann had given me. The first page looked very beautiful. The script was perfectly centred and generously spaced. It reminded me of the poetry book Ella once read to me. 

I couldn’t read the letters, of course, but I tried my best to recite the prayer Scorn had taught me as I traced the words of the first page one at a time. 

To my delight, the number of words matched!

[Hey, Darkie! I think I can read this!]

“Really?!”

[Yeah! Let’s see, this must be…] 

Just as I was about to start. I noticed a shadow creep on the page and obscure the words. I looked up expecting to find Jade, but, to my disappointment, it was only the boy from earlier. 

Before I could tell him off, he snatched the book from my hands.  I tried to take it from him, but he shoved his empty hand in my face and held me back. 

He started mockingly reading the book out loud. After he was done, he looked at me and laughed out loud. When I gave no reaction other than shoving his hand away and glaring at him, his expression changed to anger, and he pushed me, my head hitting the window painfully. 

I winced in pain as he then took the pouch with the cube inside. I tried to stop him, but I was too preoccupied with rubbing the sore spot on the back of my head to catch him in time. 

He looked at it curiously for a moment before opening it and dropping the contents into his palm. As you would expect, as soon as the cube made contact with his skin, he yelped and dropped my things, scattering them across the floor.

Ah! That will teach him!

I dropped from the windowsill and picked up the cube, pouch and scripture from the ground, being careful to do it fast enough so I didn’t get shocked myself. 

I looked up and noticed him sucking on his fingers with tears in his eyes.

I snorted loudly at the sight. His pain brought nothing but pleasure to me.

His face immediately turned red with anger, and he punched my shoulder. It was a weak punch. So weak, I could barely feel it, and it sent me into a fit of laughter.

What a wimp!

He looked so tough a minute ago when he was pushing me around, but now he looked like my little brother Dalton when he lost at a game.

I continued laughing until suddenly he tackled me. 

I landed roughly on the ground. 

[Oh, now you’ve earned it!] I howled angrily. 

Jade and Hare would usually pull me back, but they weren’t there now!

Time for purple boy to get a taste of the ‘Silika’s Best’ in the teeth!

I kneed him in his fat belly, making him bend over in pain, and slammed my palm against his chubby cheek. The lingering sting in my hand sent shivers of satisfaction up my spine.

He quickly grabbed my arm in retaliation and landed his fist on my head like a hammer. 

Stars filled my field of vision, but I wasn’t done with him. I headbutted him right on the forehead, sending him stumbling backwards, but also causing more stars to appear. 

I steadied myself and just as I was about to give him another smack on the face, Hare caught my arm.

I looked up at his face. 

I immediately understood that I was in trouble…

...A LOT of trouble...