[FREE | Reading Sample] TS - Chapter 4 - Villain
Added 2026-02-11 19:29:05 +0000 UTC-----------------------------------------------
Comments
It is intended, actually. Yes.
LunaWolve
2026-02-13 16:55:39 +0000 UTC1. Not a dislike, per se, but the first 2(?) chapters really had me wondering if Triss & Sadie were facets of multiple personality disorder and the random hero just witnessing an unstable person having some sort of episode (with there being no body/victim to help). Separately, as others pointed out, there needs to be more agonizing over the decision to murder the rapist. As-is, the decision process is just cold calculation - is/was Triss a psychopath all along or is this a true turning point for her? Why not just permanently cripple the guy so he physically can't hurt anyone again? Right, because "she made a promise". Ok, Anton Chigur. All that said, if intentional then I'm absolutely here for it! 2. I love the OP growth potential of the power set and how different it is from other stories. I also like the quick jump into action. It scratches an itch I didn't realize I had. Her power set also supports going HAM from go, so it doesn't feel forced. 3. Hells yeah, I can't wait!
AllenR
2026-02-13 16:49:06 +0000 UTCOh I'm definitely enjoying writing it a TON. My real problem is time/energy, as I already got a full-time job and write 4 chapters/week for TAS/ND 😂
LunaWolve
2026-02-12 20:22:07 +0000 UTCReally enjoy the story and especially the choices made. Can definitely understand the choice to not join a set of organisations upholding the failures of those in power. Here's to hoping you enjoy the story enough to continue it with its current direction. <3
Salami
2026-02-12 20:20:19 +0000 UTCDefinitely disagree. I do not share a single opinion with you on this.
LunaWolve
2026-02-12 07:10:42 +0000 UTCI would absolutely read more of this, the only thing I've disliked so far was her not feeling anything when killing for the first time. Even if the guy probably deserved it, I think it would make more sense for her to feel sadness or something along those line at the realisation of how far she might have to go to achieve her goal. I quite enjoyed seeing her prioritize her getting the tablet and use her ability to heal Telly to force the heroes to give up the loot and I'm curious to see how far she'll go to achieve her goal. TFTC
Charles-Antoine Senécal
2026-02-12 06:04:09 +0000 UTCThe villain descent was incredibly forced and out of character. Her primary goal is the tablets so she have leveraged her powers for autonomy and tablets from the hero association. Which means letting the know what they are for a strong negotiating position. She has zero villain contacts to sell her stuff and powered robbery without support is a bad plan. It doesn't feel natural at all.
Aguy768
2026-02-12 00:15:36 +0000 UTCDo tell, which ones and how?
LunaWolve
2026-02-11 21:14:34 +0000 UTCI honestly enjoyed the story quite a bit until she turned villain. Two instances back to back where a moment of thinking about it would and should have led her to a better way of going about it and in both cases she instead goes with "nope, I have to do this in the most villain way possible".
Nokashii
2026-02-11 21:07:34 +0000 UTCThank you for the feedback, glad you liked it!
LunaWolve
2026-02-11 20:44:26 +0000 UTCI would love a continuation of this in the future the powerset and wörld building is really interesting i would love to se more whenever this comes out
Johannes Urban
2026-02-11 20:42:20 +0000 UTCT R I S S P O T A T (Image not found)
LunaWolve
2026-02-11 20:16:35 +0000 UTCPF Alchemist, let's gooo! 😂🙏
LunaWolve
2026-02-11 20:16:26 +0000 UTCThank you for the feedback! Glad you enjoyed it!
LunaWolve
2026-02-11 20:16:17 +0000 UTCWooo more TS, thanks for the fix Luna, Really loving the super setting with the PF alchemist build
TheWhiteWolves
2026-02-11 20:10:55 +0000 UTCLove the story sad we don't get more. I really love the super hero powerset I feel like it has a ton of potential for a very fun story if you continue with it in the future
Ian Cummings
2026-02-11 20:08:57 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter!
tetrisec
2026-02-11 19:30:05 +0000 UTC
