Do I have to Accept Toxic People? | Healing from a Miscarriage

1. I've been seeing a new therapist for about a month now. My first and previous therapist left her position at the private practice. I was devastated when I received the news. I was overly attached to her and I believe I still am. My new therapist doesn't quite help me in a way that is most effective for me. She validates my feelings, but she doesn't go further in helping me explore why I feel that way. Most of my issues stem from my dysfunctional family and their toxic behaviors. My new therapist thinks that I should be understanding of my family's toxic behaviors because their past was traumatic. My old therapist believed that it's wrong for someone to be toxic and tyrannical despite suffering from a traumatic past. Essentially, my old therapist believed that people hold responsibility for themselves and their own well-being. On the contrary, my new therapist believes that changing others is impossible, therefore we must just accept people in their own nature. I understand both points, but I don’t know which one brings me more comfort. Please help.

2. The last few months I’ve been struggling quite a bit about grieving the loss of a child through a miscarriage I had when I was 17. (I’m now 22) I know a lot of why I’m struggling now is because my really close friend has just recently gone through a miscarriage and that has sort of triggered me somehow. I have no idea why it has affected me so much though, to the point of me not being able to function during the day. It feels as though my every waking moment is being consumed by thoughts of how I’m a failure in life by not being able to carry a child. Which is funny because I wouldn’t say that to anyone who’s has gone through a miscarriage so why am I saying it to myself. I’ve been trying to just allow room for all this guilt but a huge part of me just won’t. I’m just so confused why now after all this time it’s affecting me. I’ve been around and supported people who have gone through a miscarriage before so why is this time so different?