Ep 689: What Would Dave Do?

In this week’s episode, we take a leisurely drive straight into the fake painted wall of tech insanity—Tesla-style. We kick things off with a jaw-dropper: people are using AI to generate influencers with Down syndrome… who then sell nudes. Yes, the apocalypse is here and it’s NSFW. Meanwhile, human intelligence is apparently in freefall—something that becomes painfully obvious when you watch a Cybertruck slam into a Wile E. Coyote-style fake tunnel wall. Spoiler: Elon’s Autopilot mistook it for a real road, proving once again that cameras might be cheaper than lidar, but dumber than a sack of bricks. Oh, and speaking of Elon, Tesla’s recalling 46,000 Cybertrucks due to faulty panels. Because of course they are.

In the news, we dive into the surveillance state buffet, with ICE’s contractor keeping tabs on over 200 locations—no word yet if your grandma’s quilting circle made the list. CISA’s frantically dialing up the employees they illegally fired, like a bad ex who just realized they messed up. Rural broadband gets a gut punch as its director exits stage left, waving a middle finger at satellite internet. Meanwhile, OpenAI’s still trying to eat the world, pirated books be damned, and Elon fails (again) to pump the brakes on Sam Altman’s joyride. California’s A.B. 412 wants to give Big Tech a warm, snuggly monopoly on AI—and startups a swift kick in the nards. Over in EV land, China’s BYD flexes with lightning-fast charging tech while Tesla’s still trying to figure out how doors work.

Finally, in Media Candy, it’s a smorgasbord of chaos: Andy Prieboy resurfaces with White Trash Wins Lotto, which is somehow still less absurd than Hootie singing The Smiths. Severance teases more corporate dystopia, Moana 2 is coming to sing you into submission, and The White Lotus, Daredevil, and The Wheel of Time all refuse to die. Max just yeeted the rest of the Looney Tunes from existence—because joy is dead—and there’s a new Starship Troopers movie in the works. Meanwhile, Apple’s being sued for false advertising, Amazon’s turning your Echo into a 24/7 snitch, and Roku wants to run ads before you even hit the home screen. But don’t worry—Dave’s got your back with a sexy new mechanical keyboard and a nostalgic shout-out to the legendary Apple Extended Keyboard II.

Show notes at https://gog.show/689

FOLLOW UP

People Are Using AI to Create Influencers With Down Syndrome Who Sell Nudes

Human Intelligence Sharply Declining

Can You Fool A Self Driving Car?

Tesla Autopilot drives into Wile E Coyote fake road wall in camera vs lidar test

Tesla recalls more than 46,000 Cybertrucks over a faulty exterior panel

IN THE NEWS

The 200+ Sites an ICE Surveillance Contractor is Monitoring

CISA scrambles to contact fired employees after court rules layoffs ‘unlawful’

Director of rural broadband program exits with a warning about shift to ‘worse’ satellite internet

The court rejects Elon’s latest attempt to slow OpenAI down

The Unbelievable Scale of AI’s Pirated-Books Problem

California’s A.B. 412: A Bill That Could Crush Startups and Cement A Big Tech AI Monopoly

OpenAI declares AI race “over” if training on copyrighted works isn’t fair use

China's EV champ BYD reveals super-fast charging that leaves Tesla eating dust

MEDIA CANDY

WHITE TRASH WINS LOTTO

Andy Prieboy talks 'White Trash Wins Lotto'

Spotify's latest custom playlist highlights artists with upcoming shows in your area

Oddly catchy remix of Hootie & the Blowfish singing to The Smiths' music (video)

From the World of John Wick: Ballerina (2025) New Trailer

Ballerina‘s New Trailer Teases a John Wick Showdown for the Ages

Moana 2

Mythic Quest

The White Lotus

Daredevil

The Wheel of Time Season 3

Max Removes the Rest of the Original Looney Tunes Cartoons

Spectrum is finally offering a streaming-only subscription for Dodgers

New ‘Starship Troopers’ Movie in the Works from ‘District 9’ Filmmaker Neill Blomkamp (Exclusive)

Mark Cuban Shares the Dumbest Video Ever Uploaded to Bluesky

Severance

Severance: The Lexington Letter

APPS & DOODADS

Apple hit with lawsuit over 'false advertising' of Apple Intelligence features

MacWhisper Pro

Amazon’s Echo will send all voice recordings to the cloud, starting March 28

Roku testing auto-play video ads before loading the home screen

SetApp

THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE

Dave Bittner

The CyberWire

Hacking Humans

Caveat

Control Loop

Only Malware in the Building

the Seneca

Apple Extended Keyboard II