May Bonus: Mike & Aubrey Go To The Doctor

sorry for replying to an old comment but SAME! finally saw a tmj specialist this past year and it turns out having braces from 12-14 caused me to have an under-developed mandible, grinding my teeth at night, and now i have fcking jaw arthritis at 25 😭😭

A

I'm lucky that I've been able to ask doctors not to weigh me, even though I've had mostly poor experiences. The standard response is the "can you give me an estimate?" but the worse part is always their reaction to my weight. There are two options, a disaproving reaction to me having underestimated or a reassurance that I overestimated, even when I asked not to know. They act as though their reaction doesn't give me an estimate. I've started refusing to estimate and openly calling out when their response tells me information about my weight. I'm on the high end of straight size (or just past in some stores) and very medically complicated. Many doctors assume I am just a hypochondriac or anxious, so being non-compliant is assumed of me, but I'm also very infantalised due to some of my other conditions. This has lead to a wonderful stalemate where doctors assume that will not listen or that I will complain but because I am stupid. This sounds terrible, but its functionally incredible because it lets me in to debunk it.

Darrell Rivers

I have never been weighed in Norway when visiting a doctor. But they sometimes ask me to report my weight - I assume for some reason? Amount of fluid needed for something?

Julie Langås

I’m very thankful that my doctor is a wonderful fat lady. I tend to prioritize having a female (or nonbinary) anything to do with my body from my tattoos to my doctor to my dentist. I just feel more comfortable voicing my opinions to them

Seaver

I had an ear doctor that recommended plastic surgery to me every time I went here for a blocked ear. He was at the same time boasting how great of a surgeon he is in his private clinic. Ugh I brought it up with another provider and ofc he said it's not medically necessary. Re weight: it's not a usual question here during routine checkups but I also got the "can you just guess" treatment and very concerned looks when I said I haven't weighed myself in years.

Leontyna

Late to the party here, but along the lines of “Western medicine doesn’t want you to know…” my pitch for a bonus episode is throwing the baby out with the bath water. One example is how lately I’ve noticed a lot of commentary online about how chiropractors are grifters and it’s not real. Well, after years of asking for a referral I got one to a trauma informed chiropractor. Not only did he help me understand what a normal range of motion for someone like me was, he fixed my neuropathy. I had extreme pain from pinched nerves in my shoulders. I can now pop my neck and stretch regularly in the way he showed me and haven’t had the issue to the same degree ever since (it’s been a couple of years). The nerve specialists I saw were less effective. Also the chiropractor doesn’t weigh you or make you take off your clothes or try to get you on opioids. Chiropractic care isn’t for everyone and it’s not a miracle cure that’s guaranteed to work. But like physical therapy, it’s good for certain things. And a trauma informed practitioner is a net good regardless of what they’re doing. Also noteworthy: hearing you talk about thin doctors reminded me that when I worked at a hospital many of the doctors smoked, drank soda, and ate cheeseburgers and fries for lunch every day, but were thin and didn’t think twice to tell people how to live

ryoknits (Rhiannon)

on jaundice and being asian : my ex (who is thai/chinese) was diagnosed with jaundice at birth and then another nurse came by and was like . i don't think she has jaundice i think that doctor was just racist ??? and turns out . yes that dr Was just racist 😭

Soleil Marshall

Esh!

Heather Hawkes

So TMI but I recently had a hysterectomy for a prolapsed uterus. One of the best things about the experience was that the first two Dr I saw were both fat women. And no one commented on my weight being an issue. I was really stressed that someone was going to say, like yeah you had a bunch of babies but also you are fat! When I finally met the surgeon he was also great and didn't say anything. It was honestly a relief.

Heather Hawkes

a couple of years ago i was at the obgyn for a pap smear, and while my doctor was literally inside of me she “complimented” me for being so thin and asked about my workout routine. I got a new doctor after that

Lazypet

I had braces when I was 12, and all it's caused me is medical issues. Now I have TMJ, arthritis and had to have gum surgery last year all from braces 😭

Abby Bottar

Hooting and hollering when Mike says, "He's now getting fat injections in his face???" Aubrey: "Good."

Crystal Robinson

Can I get a bumper sticker or enameled pin that says: don't build report with me by shutting on other people.

Kristin Marie

I’ve had pretty good experiences with my GPs, but I’ve had some awful surgeons. My ankle surgeon didn’t believe that I was in constant pain with random shooting pains in the middle of the night. He absolutely refused to believe that it was hurting till he saw the CT scan. Turns out I had a piece of bone sitting free in my ankle from the first surgery, and had to get it removed seven months later in order to actually heal!!

Lindsey Keefer

Whoa whoa whoa. Blood sugar exists in a spectrum?? Is this in the sugar episode?? Can we have an episode on diabetes and the ‘link’ to fatness???

Monica Kim

Omg I thought that was just me! Yea what’s up with that.

keisha prioleau-martin

Please do not buy Visine for dry eyes. Artificial tears

Sam

Oh lord, what happened to Mike with his metatarsal happened to me with my shoulder. Chronic scapulathoracic bursitis from repeated subluxations due to hypermobolity. TEN YEARS i spent being told "no, no, if you were subluxating your shoulder you'd know", before finally a doctor thought to ask me to move my shoulder and it made a horrifically loud grinding/snapping noise, like it always does. she was HORRIFIED and immediately sent me to an orthopetic specialist, who could subluxate my shoulders by lightly pressing down on them with his hands and immediately diagnosed me with chronic scapulothoracic bursitis. And I'm a petite little twig! This kind of experience is what radicalized me. If my tiny ass gets treated this way, I can only imagine how much worse it is for someone fat—especially when their fatness intersects with other marginalizations!

Emily H.

I'm coming back to re-listen, after speaking to an intelligent, but naturally very thin adult man. He was completely shocked that fat people, specifically fat women, face negative bias from doctors. I, rather loudly, repeated some facts from this episode. So now I need to hear someone else yell correct things.

Jen_0_cyde

I’ve had providers google my symptoms for me while I’ve been in the room. That was their diagnostic process.

Kirby Cannon

I’m from Germany but living in America. I miss Germany so much! Also I had to get fingerprinted for my job and the card asks for your weight. No idea what that has to do with anything but ok. I haven’t weighed myself in about 10 ish months so I just made up a number. But I did seriously consider stepping on the scale because it’s for an official licensing thing but i held firm.

Nina

RELEASE THE BARKING AUDIO! The fans need to hear! WE DEMAND MORE DOG CONTENT

Rez Watson

Ugh, this makes me think about going to the Dr last summer because my anxiety was through the roof, I couldn't eat and lost 10lbs in one week. I was concerned about my health and went to a doctor. At the appointment, where I was already 70lbs less than the last time I saw a doctor there, he commented on me being overweight. For reals my dude??? We'll see how he responds tomorrow when I see him for the first time since then and I've gained 40lbs.

Courtney Stanzil

We Stan Michael’s wack skeleton

theo russo

Love this episode. I went to the docs for a weird feeling I was getting in my face, like pins and needles across my cheeks and nose. She just looked confused and said "never heard of that before!". Cool. 🙈

Beak

Earlier this year I went to a clinic for chest pain (ended up being nothing and went away on its own) and at the end of the visit, the doc mentioned that she noticed my weight was “elevated.” That phrasing really tickled me 😂 She didn’t make a big deal of it thank goodness

Sam Concklin

I love this episode sooo much, I felt every second!

Susan R.

As an RN who managed a large multi specialty medical office, I can almost guarantee that, if you work in the US, even if you direct your medical assistant to stop routinely weighing your patients, eventually someone is going to make them do it anyway. Insurance companies often require that it be done, and then further require documentation in the record detailing that the patient received education about it, and a plan of care was developed to help the patient reach a "healthy" BMI. And then requires documentation at each subsequent visit of the specific effectiveness of interventions applied, and updating the plan of care accordingly. The insurance companies track this closely, and they're required to meet certain standards to maintain professional accreditation. Large health care systems may have requirements of their own that need to be met because of course they do. They use the data when marketing themselves to certain large employer groups. And there's so much more but the short version is that your medical assistant is probably going to be required to weigh your patients. SMH.

Mary Jean

I'm so late in listening to this but just heard the comment about never seeing a not-thin medical professional and had to chime in that I had a not-thin doctor at the university clinic I went to once - and she mentioned that "people of our body type" should be extra careful about adding extra salt to our food. So, like, weird solidarity that also did not make me feel good at all? (I was there because my aunt and mum had both recently been diagnosed with thyroid issues, and I was tired all the time, and they wanted all the cousins to get bloodwork done to see if our thyroids were also having issues since it can be hereditary.)

Ksenia Broda-Milian

Mike and Aubrey, all I can say is thank you so much. I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for most of my life and have been dieting since I was about 10 years old. I am now in recovery from my eating disorder and am working on challenging my beliefs and personal biases around fatness. I’ve felt a lot of judgement from health care providers about my eating disorder and was unfortunately (but not surprisingly) not taken seriously until I was underweight. I finally found a dietician who is accepting of all body sizes and rejects diet culture and shaming people for their food habits and body. As she said today: EVERYONE STOP COMMENTING ON PEOPLE’s BODIES PERIOD. Thank you for being a support and a learning tool on my journey <3

Jillian Johnson

Gotta share my story for anyone reading. I was getting a root canal. It was long and I was getting tired of the whole thing. My dentist asked how are you doing? I said okay. He looks me up and down, pats me, and says “you look sturdy . . . you’re doing great.” Wtf dude???

Jove

OMFG

Manic Pixie Dream Crone

Just catching up and I wanted to say that this podcast is the reason I don’t get weighed at the doctor anymore and my actual doctor has been lovely (meaning totally disinterested) in that choice. In fact, it’s because of this show that it occurred to me that there are doctors out there who WON’T just automatically dismiss my concerns because of my weight. Funny story though: One of the clinic assistants at my new wonderful doctor’s office apparently has just been guessing people’s weights and putting them on the charts. I almost had to have a surgery rescheduled because when they weighed me for my anesthesia, according to my official medical record, I had gained 60lbs in six days. My doctor informed me at my next visit that the clinician had had a talking to and that I was not the only person she’d done that to but that she now understood never to make assumptions on people’s charts. I appreciated the follow-up from my doctor too. So thanks for helping me get a better quality of care and thanks for creating a chain reaction from which my doctor’s other patients care will be improved by his medical assistant being better educated.

Ursula Becker

When I was carrying my first kid, 21 years ago, my GYN-OB could not comprehend that a woman my weight could possibly have a healthy pregnancy. She had me tested for gestational diabetes THREE TIMES (all negative) and gave me completely conflicting nutritional advice. She made my pregnancy anxious and awful, telling me my baby would be born 'too large'. Another GYN-OB was on call when my daughter was born (thank the deity of my choice) without complication (or insult) at 7.06 pounds. I left the first doctor for the second immediately, and later had a marvelous second pregnancy. Guh.

Sarah tortoisemom Wesson

Also, I've been hearing wax skeleton... Maybe I should go to the ear doctor?

andrea gilly

I live in Finland and I could write a book about all my bad experiences after 7 years of living here (I'm from Mexico). From racist comments, to assuming I am an alcoholic & having me tested for drug use... It's insane, tho I've never been weighted. On a lighter note tho, this episode and Mike's story about the doctor in Denmark made me think of my first encounter with the health system in Finland. Soon after I arrived, I got a splinter in my finger that very quickly turned into a blister. My roommate went crazy and made me go to the doctor to make sure it was not an infection. Not knowing what to think I did go to the doctor, when the nurse saw my finger she went " Ahhhhhhhh, oh my god 🙊. Where do you put your fingers?" And for a second I thought I'd lose my finger, I thought there must be something wrong with me & I am very dirty or something, made me feel so self conscious! She prescribed antibiotics and not wanting to take antibiotics for every minor wound, I decided to wait a few days first. I kept it clean and dry for a week and that was it! I laugh a lot about this first encounter, I cannot believe that you would get such a reaction from a BLISTER! Like... I get them by walking with new shoes? And also, you are a nurse! Aren't nurses seeing similar things all the time? Anyway, hope my story makes someone laugh.

andrea gilly

As a primary care doctor I have found this podcast incredibly informative. It has validated my biases against health fads and trends, but more importantly is helping me to become a better doctor. Having a documented weight for my patients is important, but definitely not at every appointment and I will ask my medical assistant to stop checking weights for the majority of my encounters. I personally ignore the BMI unless my patients ask me about their weight. In fact, I try to never bring up the topic about their weight unless they do or there truly is a medical reason like heart failure or I suspect something like cancer. On a personal note I am a mother of 3 and too often patients have commented on MY weight either by asking if I am pregnant again, or telling me I look good for having a baby, I hate all of this and wish they would simply say nothing about my body. Thanks for all your work, I will keep listening faithfully!

Meegan Remillard

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/16XU_WlYbHvgiA-YZPPmhFDy_1YBieo_i8qt6hE5UctQ/edit?usp=drivesdk

Brandi Duggins

I note a crossover with those with invisible chronic health conditions who also must doctor shop to receive adequate healthcare. As a female with chronic health problems, there's a cap with each practitioner and I have to just sense where that is and take the rest of my issues elsewhere 😂 Not helped that Australia is shifting to a patient-billed model in metro as well as regional areas now. Great points, both. Appreciate the insight and as always, love your work, xo

Rae

Michael, I thought your doctor was going to comment on the lack of protected bike infrastructure in South Seattle, but that went DARK.

Krystal

Weight-related anecdote: I lost vision in my right eye two years ago. In a desperate attempt to save it, I was sent to several departments at the hospital to get evaluated, which means I got to see a bunch of different specialists. One of them wanted to weigh me but couldn't for some reason, so he asked if I knew my weight. I told him what I thought it was to the best of my knowledge, because I don't weigh myself often, and he looked at me straight and said "Now is not the time to lie." He thought I'd pretended I didn't weigh as much as I did. Angry, I got home and stepped on my scale: I weighed ten pounds LESS than what I'd told him.

Boum

Hey, I think this is an episode that is important for non-patreon people to hear. If you feel it would be helpful, there’s a lot of important insight about doctor blind spots (like no referral specialists or the expectation fat patients will be non-compliant) could be super influential on health care workers who might happen upon your show. Also I’d love to hear Aubrey’s dog woof in his sleep :>

Dino

Also would love to see an episode on the non-existent geriatric medicine options for fat and disabled senior citizens. Talk about a space where body shaming is the norm. My father-in-law, who is 80, is currently taking ozempic and preparing for bariatric surgery, neither of which is recommended for senior citizens. My mother spent the last 5 years of her life in a nursing home where she was placed on highly restrictive diets (like 1,200 calories per day) and was weighed daily by her caregivers. As a family, we couldn't "opt out" of this because we were told that if she reached a certain weight, she would not be able to stay in her nursing home because her body would be "unsafe" for her caregivers to move. We had to attend family caregiving meetings where the freaking director of nursing would give us a "report card" on my mom's daily eating. Toward the end of her life, my mom had developed a full-on ED where she was literally only eating a handful of tomatoes each day and was "cheered on" for maintaining her weight.

Kelly Winters

Would love to see an episode on the dangerous myths about fat bodies perpetuated by reproductive medicine that border on eugenics (having an "at risk for stroke" body and trying to get prescribed birth control; which bodies are "allowed" conversations with specialists for fertility treatments or assistance with endocrine disorders). I'm large fat, cishet white woman who is an ABD (all but dissertation) PhD candidate with many years of engagement with the academic field of critical fat studies and fat activism. I have excellent health insurance coverage and "thought" I had assembled a good, HAES-informed care team for various chronic health issues, including PCOS, lipidema, sleep apnea, and depression/anxiety. I started experiencing heavy bleeding during my period and abdominal pain, and fortunately was referred directly to a gynocologist, who then told me my problems were all about my weight. I pushed back, and had 6-months of non-stop bleeding during which time I went to three other gynocologists before one of them would attempt to do an in-office biopsy of my uterine lining (endometrium) to rule out endometrial cancer (which I read, on my own, was a high risk for those of us who have PCOS and have never had children). That doctor told me she couldn't do a biopsy because I was too large (I have since learned that this is a BS argument and says more about the skills of the physician and the tools they have in the office than my body), so I had to do a D&C under general anesthesia so they could get a sample. Turns out I have grade 2 endometrial cancer. Try finding a gynocological oncologist who is remotely trained in HAES or even sympathetic to bodily differences! The body shaming I have experienced now that I have a cancer diagnosis is on a different plane than what my skills are able to cope with. Every single visit with my oncologist or the techs who do ultrasounds/MRIs/CTs is a fight to be heard and seen as a human being with emotions, previously lived experiences, family, and friends. I have seriously been tempted to say "f*ck it" and just live with the cancer than deal with this trauma multiple times a year.

Kelly Winters

My primary care doctor at every single appointment would comment on my weight. A few I remember: 1. They asked if my twin sister was "as well rounded" as I was. They were not talking about my education, travels, or career. 2. They said I might be diabetic because I had a dark patch near my neck. It was confusing to me because all my glucose levels and bloodwork were fine. It was the middle of summer and I walk/run outside...it was just a bad tan. I became VERY self-conscious about it after that. 3. I injured my shoulder working out. I went to the doctor after weeks of pain and complained that I wasn't able to work out like I used to. The doctor hesitated to give me a steroid shot to help with inflammation because I "might gain some weight." 4. The last straw was in late 2022 when again my doctor felt the need to give me another "pep talk." They told me that "cancer feeds on fat" and to think about my mom. Side note...my mom is also their patient and they knew she was 2 years into Stage 3 uterine cancer remission. I cried the whole way home. I blamed myself. I clearly caused my mom's cancer, I told myself. You can imagine how much I cried when my mom's cancer returned just a couple months later. This terrible human had convinced me that it was MY fault. Super glad I had a therapist to help me work through that. And also a pretty wonderful Mom (who is back in remission, thankfully). Needless to say, I have a new doctor and so far she seems pretty cool.

lauren wells

Also, I chose my endocrinologist because they had headshots on the website and I could see she was on the fatter side.

Liza

I've had the confused employee not knowing what to do when you refuse to be weighed. I'm always tempted to tell them something so obviously wrong it would be laughable, but I also relate to saving the fight for other parts of the appointment.

Liza

As an LCSW, to talk to the question about why American Life expectancies are shorter, in my field of study in addition to poverty/heathcare access, America does not value taking time off of work to go do preventative care, even in higher socioeconomic status, not doing screenings, not using vaccines etc, and no don't value taking vacation, mental health days, Etc.

JaniceElizabeth Kreh

I think a mp diet farce cook book would make a great gift for all of my straight sized friends who CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT DIETING

Rebecca Riley

IT GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!!!

Rebecca Riley

JK the medical industry has a whack skeleton

Rebecca Riley

Lol y'all it's not medical mystery it's being 40

Rebecca Riley

I hear Tucker Carlson uses it on his testicles

Rebecca Riley

Also Canadian but I have been weighed at most...maybe depends on the providers!

Isabel Porter

For a future episode, I was wondering if you’d have any interest in looking into red light therapy? Largely because it’s the kind of woo-woo wellness thing that’s just innocuous enough to be almost appealing to me, and I want you to save me from getting sucked in.

grainshilo

Great episode. Being fat and chronically ill, I dread doctors so much but have to see them all the time. It’s exhausting.

grainshilo

This stuff about ENTs is hilarious. My boyfriend went to an ENT yesterday, because he snores. The doctor asked him how do you know you snore, he said well my girlfriend told me, and the doctor said well women exaggerate. Great medical diagnosis 👍

Mihaela Sacara

They did that one! It's in the "Catching Up with Paleo Pete" bonus episode.

Loyal

Uhg Michael I swear I’ve been to that same ear doctor. Googled it and he had next day appointments, won’t go back.

Karla Rivers

There's an actually HAES friendly gym called Clarity Fitness in the Atlanta area. They do virtual personal training too if anyone is interested in exercise that isn't focused on changing your body size.

Rachael Flores

Diabetic here, $700 every 3 months for a 3 month supply of my CGM supplies and that is WITH insurance coverage. Also birth control effects blood sugar, who would have known??? Not the doctors I saw!

Angelle Bonnecarrere

So, listening to your podcast has provided me with so much information. Regarding the weight discussion at the doctor, until I listened to the BMI episode, I thought BMI was a significant measure of health. As a nurse, this is what we were trained. This is why we are such a pain about it when you come to tbe doctor and I'm sorry. As I became more educated, I have adjusted my approach regarding weighing patients. As an aside, when Michael was talking about weight fluctuations being a sign of a serious health change... this is related to congestive heart failure, but if you've never had it, a weight fluctuation is not how you are going to find it. People become short of breath and experience cardiac symptoms before realizing their weight has changed.

Danielle McCarthy

Not sure where to send a request, but I would LOVE to hear your analysis of the documentary “The magic pill.” I watched it numerous times years ago and it inspired me to do/stay on keto for about 2 years. Of course keto is unsustainable, as you guys have gone into… but I’d be REALLY curious about your take on the trial of an Australian doctor that was covered in the film. I want it to be debunked lol because to this day I feel guilty that I’m not able to stick to that diet. I did lose weight and felt great physically, but it’s so hard socially and mentally. I was obsessed with food.

Tara

I work at an eating disorder treatment center and when I asked about HAES informed doctors in the area to refer patients to, I was given one name. One. Unbelievable. If it weren’t such a thankless job, someone should make an actual database.

The Penguin Affair

Jessica Nutik Zitter, a paliative care/critical care doctor, refers to medical education as "a culture of trauma."

Tom Murphy

It doesn’t count 😂

Ginette musker

The worst bedside matter I ever had was an ENT who just like jabbed me in the neck with his hands and then said nothing was wrong, it was probably mono. A week later a CT scan showed a 6-8 inch long clot in my jugular vein. Also...I was listening to the conservative diet book episode again and I just want to say that I would 100% buy a maintenance phase cookbook that was 90% cookbook and 10% diet farce

Mary

I am Canadian and in my 20 years as an adult, I have never been weighed at a doctor's appointment. I was so surprised to hear about Mike's experience!

CLL

Tied for favorite ilk of MP: just full on anecdote & bitch session.

Irene

Dated a doctor years ago who was by far the most fat phobic person I ever knew - to this day! He harshly criticized fat patients and even his own family members for their size. I was early in my own ED recovery - I wonder why that relationship didn’t work out?! 😬😩 This highly educated person also constantly talked about the “research” around paleo like it was super sound, but when we would go out to eat he would eat every potato or fry before touching any other item on his plate. It was amusing, like saying the quiet part out loud - that this fad diet was in no way sustainable. As my journey through recovery and anti-fat awareness has progressed, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t call him out on his attitudes and language while we were dating. I can only imagine how he has continued to harm his fat patients. I knew he was hella wrong at the time, but I didn’t have the confidence or the language to articulate it. Also, I just began seeing a new doctor for a knee issue and they have NEVER weighed me, not even at my first appointment! I think more doctors are becoming aware of this shortcoming in the states, but I still have healthcare professionals who look at me funny when I ask not to be weighed and very explicitly explain why. In our system, there is clearly no training on how to manage patients with EDs, while they continue to over-Index on “managing” high BMIs. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Tanya S

Weighing at every appointment (for automatic BMI calculation) is one of the metrics that can be used to determine how much money a hospital gets from the government. It fucking sucks

Annie Collier

I think it might depend on the individual doctor. My doctor weighs me every time (i'm borderline underweight according to good old bmi though so maybe that's why).

Kate M

In Australia, we get weighed the first time we see a doctor and then after that never again unless we ask for a weight management plan. Edit: At least in my experience.

Kirrily Ackerman

Does anyone have the link to fat friendly doctors Aubrey mentioned? TIA

Elizabeth Sorrell

The worst doctor experience I ever had as a fat person was an OBGYN who made me talk about gastric bypass surgery with me. I went there with a specific problem and he wouldn't answer my questions unless I asked him 5 times. He only wanted to talk about gastric bypass surgery.

Ilana Collins

Neither the place nor the time! Yikes

Mackenzie Wilson

I'm totally down for the beef with ENT doctors. There's a ENT were I live that had One of those digital signs that cycles through pictures. Like here's the weather today and get your flu shot. Except this one had a bunch of pro-life garbage on it. Like it's 70° out and abortion is murder

Ash

This episode felt really validating to hear. As someone with a history of eating disorders who is thin it’s really NOT GREAT to be told I look “super healthy” and congratulated on how I physically present to people. I’ve been told this at appointments where I’m getting a referral FOR ED RELATED TREATMENT like read the room?! Also, what Aubrey said about the lack of curiosity and interest from doctors with medical mysteries hit home for me. For the last 5ish years I’ve been trying to get a Dr to tell me why I get gastro so bad I have be admitted into hospital every time I get sick with anything (eg cold, flu, Covid, anything) and have had no success. And then they wonder why you use “Dr Google”. It’s baffling. Anyway thank you as always for being vulnerable and sharing this content ❤️

India Petrucco

Until last year I’d never felt like I’d dealt with fat bias within the healthcare system. I figured I didn’t live in the US and it was less of a thing here. Until I sprained my knee. Could only get a locum GP appointment. I’d worn shorts under my pants, expecting that the GP would need to, you know actually inspect the knee. My knee got a cursory inspection (through my pants so god knows how he could see if there was any swelling). Wasn’t referred for an X-ray or MRI (even though it was day 3 of not being able to put any pressure on it). It was clear he couldn’t WAIT to talk to me about how much weight I was carrying. And the last 10 minutes of the 15 minute appointment was a weight lecture. 6 months later I needed an urgent appointment and he was the only GP with appointments available. So I waited 6 weeks to see someone else.

J

Great episode as usual, I always enjoy your work.

Faith

Hope you complained to his practice and also your insurance.

Orange Everything

It is not true. Medicare and Medicaid pay slightly MORE, but if you refuse to weigh and the office correctly documents it, it will not affect the doctors max payment.

Orange Everything

I would also like an episode on that.

Orange Everything

It makes me so uncomfortable when people comment on my weight. I'm not fat but I don't consider myself skinny either... short and thicc (lol). I'm always right below or on the BMI line of obesity and every doctor ever (except my midwife) has told me to "watch out for that." But whenever I'm in a downswing on the spectrum of my weight fluctuations, someone always comments on it. I've definitely set the boundary of no body comments with people close to me, compliment or no, but that's hard to do when a person I barely know says something about it, like a regular customer or an acquaintance in my social circle. I had all these feelings before I had a baby in December, and SO MANY people say "You don't look like you just had a baby!!" (Those exact words, every time.) I never know what to say... it's almost always "uuuh thanks, I guess?" What do these people say to moms who DO look like they just had a baby? How are new moms supposed to look??? New mom brain is a totally wild thing to experience without adding body shame to mix. But like Michael said... You have no idea who I am, who I'm close to, and why I look the way I do.

Janice O

There's some evidence for it but it's mixed https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6413235/

Meh

TIL. That was a fascinating read, thanks!

Lisa Scheff

I'd love to hear you talk about the DASH diet. It was recommended to me for lowering blood pressure with nothing said about weight loss (amazingly) and I want to know if it actually does make a difference to blood pressure and other health markers.

Kira I.

This is a great idea for an episode. Another point of discussion might be how to hold true to your own body when you’ve been raised by a parent who restricted their eating and encouraged you to diet as a child.

Lisa

I think I had the same oral surgeon as Aubrey. I live in Portland, and when I had my wisdom teeth out, the surgeon looked exactly like she described. After they put the mask on and started the nitrous, he walks in and the first thing he says is "What lies on the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck." I giggled once, and then I was out.

Justin Hamilton

You guys have kinda touched on the experience of watching a parent diet and struggle with their bodies…any chance we could get an episode — bonus or not — that maybe talks through that a little more? My mom has struggled with her weight, and she is currently tasking my 9 year old sister with helping her stick to her diet. Any insight into you or others have handled experiencing that would be much appreciated.

Alaina Uricheck

Will there ever an episode on My 600 lb Life, Too Large, and/or similar shows? I used to love My 600 lb Life until I started unpacking my own internalized fatphobia and ableism.

Diana Dorsey

this past year i had to go to the obgyn twice and both times they did weigh me, but had me turn and face away from the scale and didn't acknowledge or show me my weight. not perfect, but i appreciated it!

Madeline Rundlett

Michael - I am loathe to give any hot tips for medicine but do go to a myofascial massage therapist. Bone doctors and Foot Doctors see everything like a surgery thing. Everything is a nail to their hammers.

Vivian

In New Zealand weighing you at each GP visit is pretty standard. I just got diagnosed with sleep apnoea and enclosed with the letter advising me of my outcomes they included the advice to "get better sleep" and of course lose weight. So useful considering I have other medical conditions that make losing weight difficult including SLEEP APNOEA and I did the sleep study because I cant get better sleep because SLEEP APNOEA.

Tessa Bell

I recently learned that the word "provider" is antisemitic. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8560107/

Ben L

I've been told insurance companies require physicians to weigh all their patients and advise them to lose weight in order to get paid? Is this true?

Frankie Huang

This has made me reflect on my recent experiences with an endocrinologist. For reference: I was referred bc my cortisol has been high and waited almost a full year for the appointment. When I went in Feb, I saw a resident before the doctor. The resident immediately asked me what my goal weight is, without me bringing up weight or anything and also was rude and dismissive the whole time. When I went back this week for a follow-up, I saw a different resident (she was great and very sweet) and thats how I found out that the 1st fucker had put on my chart that "weight gain" was one of the reasons I was there. Bitch no it is not!! He was the only one to bring up my weight, the actual endo included, and took it upon himself to put down that I was there for weight loss advice instead of for the persistent hormone imbalances. I'm still so pissed about this

Morgan Waas

Hey gang! Aubrey is in New York City this week for a few events and I'm putting feelers out about putting together a very unofficial, casual, last-minute MP/ YFF fan gathering. (I hope this is okay, Aubrey and Mike!) Fellow Patreon fans, respond here if that's something you're interested in and I'll keep you posted as I figure this out/ pull something together.

Liz Winston

As someone who also suffers from “Whack Skeleton Disease”: be strong. I’m here for you.

Olivia Stambor

I too, had head gear in grade school. Mine was one I only had to wear at night, but I thought it was SO COOL so I would wear it to school anyway. I only have memories of my friends also thinking it was cool. I hope that was actually the case and not just my 8 year old self being completely delusional.

Erica Wickman

I think Aubrey has tackled it before and said that it's not something she personally follows but she knows people who've found peace with it. It's worth saying that folks like Lindo Bacon are under fire at the moment and it's a bit of a thorny topic in general as it's often described as a way to "secretly" lose weight even when that's not supposed to be the objective.

Michelle

I've been working on this too. It sucks.

Skye

💙💜💙

Skye

Yes, 100%. This was my experience as well. Dangerously thin, basically dying, feeling like a messed up piece of suffering su*cidal trash, and being told I by a good amount of people I looked great (I did not, I looked like absolute death) - usually by people with really disordered eating habits/outlook themselves. It was confusing and emotionally painful, because I hated my disorder, felt I could not stop it, and was in a very dark place, and so it felt extremely isolating to be told I seemed & looked fine.

Skye

Fck that shit!! Ugh!!

Skye

My pregnancy while fat, especially my first, was definitely a low point of healthcare. Like I completely controlled my GD with diet and was still told to prepare myself for a C-section and made to set an induction date for 38 weeks (spontaneous vaginal labor at 37+3, 5 hours max, totally fine). If my blood pressure was a point above normal (because they used a too small cuff) I had to do a urine catch. Edema in my breasts turned into scaring me about inflammatory breast cancer leading to a freaking biopsy. I’m still bitter that the doctors who were supposed to care for me at a vulnerable time only saw weight.

Emily Benson

“It’s not improv” 😂

Zelph On The Shelf

be nice to patients. theyre scared and uncomfortable.

lucía vz

can u talk about intuitive eating?

lucía vz

Here's what I wonder: IME, weight is taken with all my clothes on, and sometimes shoes off, sometimes shoes on. How can that be a good record of weight if they're looking for accuracy? Do they weigh you with just a gown on?

Kathleen A Jordan

Excellent episode, guys. It was enlightening to hear Aubrey’s insights about having to be vigilant throughout any given appointment and conserving energy for any advocacy that may arise. That sounds enragingly stressful and exhausting. I’ve spent about three months of my life in psych wards and one of many horrible things about them is weekly “metabolic testing” where a nurse will weigh you and ask you to take a waist measurement for them to record. There are several nuances to why it’s awful, but mostly: how the fuck does this contribute to anyone’s mental wellbeing? Thank you so much for all you do, A and M! ♥️🌟

Lisa

First, just so you know, there are plenty of fat doctors. There plenty of fat nurses too. I’m an RN in a pre and post op department. We recently had a patient who needed a larger gurney, and our hospital didn’t have one. I was fucking pissed, but I’m just the person providing care, so it doesn’t matter to Kaiser ( my employer) what I feel. I did not fly into a rage in front of my patient, because I didn’t want to draw more attention to them, but I know my frustration was evident. The patient shrugged it off, saying “it’s fine” and it’s ok”. The person went to surgery squished onto a gurney that was clearly uncomfortable. There’s so much bias against fat people in the medical field, I wouldn’t know where to begin. 🙁

Shelley Fitch

In my UK experience being weighed only happens at a physical check-up which would be separate to a gp appointment. But then I was astounded at the idea of doctors appointments lasting more than seven minutes, so I guess they're just filling up the time!

Cate Kneale

Probably my worst experience at the doctors was having cystitis, visibly being fairly distressed, being tested for an STI but also getting a lecture on not having unprotected sex when that had not been my choice.

Cate Kneale

Just thinking about a friend I had whose favourite greeting was "you've lost weight" :(

Cate Kneale

As a neurodivergent person that Dr Google stuff makes me so mad. ADHDers are very likely to have additional diagnoses and yet every one of my 5 comorbidities has been diagnosed by Dr Google followed by me talking to my doctor. I wouldn’t have to google if neurodivergent folk weren’t treated as second class citizens.

Molly St.Cyr-Reid

I've got Invisalign now too! I had the same problem recording podcasts with my friend, though she said she couldn't tell either 🤷‍♀️

Beverly

Straight sized people bond through something other than hating fat people challenge.

Stacy Magerkurth

I love the wack skeleton story. A friend of mine once went to the doctor and was told, "Dude, your back's messed up."

Emily Nimsakont

Im just so happy i have a doctor who trully listens to me and helps me thru my problems. I told her to listen to this podcast. She is amazing

Shelly Calhoun

Didn't realize how similar getting healthcare for fat folk and chronic disability care is. Not an experience I'd wish on anyone but like ripe with dark comedy content

Blazar Quasar Banana-Fana Fo Fazar

I also do not have a doctor. As a teenager, I had an eating disorder and a not healthy looking doctor told me I was fat. I was a ballet dancer. Just one of my bad experiences with doctors as a younger person.

Nicole Von Germeten

Damn I guess I should reconsider all my banter and jokes with my patients

Lisa

I had a telehealth and he told me to look at losing 5kg without even seeing me or fucking weighing me. Now I just say I don't weight myself and don't tell me what I weigh. A specialist I went to the other day said "good for you" when I told her. She was a female specialist.

mumbles march

I live in Australia and being weighed at the doctors is very common. One doctor I saw, the first words out of his mouth were “stand on the scales”. It also happens when I get a blood test; there are very visible signs for the person taking the blood, reminding them to record BMI. In my own work as a CT tech, I’d often have a patient’s blood work as part of their referral, and it would include their BMI across time. It’s awful and gross. In terms of refusing to be weighed, sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. My doctor and dietician have both encouraged me to decline to be weighed when getting a blood test, but they’re both thin people and it is really scary. Once I let the person taking blood weigh me, but told them that I didn’t want to know and they laughed in a “lol, of course no one wants to know what their weight is” kind of way. It was meant to be friendly, I’m sure.

Elliott

This episode reminded me that my mum (who had previously fluctuated between sizes 12 and 14) started getting open and public complements about how thin she looked, right in the worst part of her battle with MS. Her body was failing her and all ppl could see was her weight loss as a good thing. Fuck people.

Ana

I had half of my thyroid removed due to a benign tumor and was told that my thyroid levels should remain the same since the other half of my thyroid was healthy but like....none of my doctors wanted to do any followup blood work? It happened when I was 20 and that sort of growth is super rare in people that age so you'd think they'd want to keep an eye on it? I started having symptoms of thyroid issues, most concerning to me was extreme fatigue. I couldn't make it through the day without a nap. I told this to my doctor and suggested that it could be related to my thyroid and he said "Well just stop taking naps" and refused to check my thyroid levels. It was like a 5 minute appointment. Thankfully it was a blood panel my psychiatrist was willing to order for me and my thyroid levels were elevated. It's almost like some doctors get mad at you if you come in with some idea of what might be wrong with you. When I initially had my biopsy, I was conscious and they used a MASSIVE needle to do it and the doctor kept like joking with me and telling me not to laugh because if I laughed he'd stab me in the jugular and that'd "not be ideal" 🤦🏻‍♀️And another time I went in with some of the wildest symptoms I'd ever experienced. Went to urgent care, told them, they said that I have a history of anemia and it was probably just that, she told me to go home and eat a cheese burger, despite me telling her that I KNOW what it feels like when I'm low iron and I take a daily supplement and rarely have issues. She refused to do blood work to confirm her diagnosed and shooed me out the door and I immediately went to the emergency room where I was seen right away because I was gray and could barely walk and I found out I had a crazy liver infection and had to be admitted. I had a friend who had some crazy health stuff going on as a kid too and it made her incredibly thin. Almost every doctor she went to dismissed it as an eating disorder even though she and her parents and her siblings were denying it. Doctor's refusal to listen to and believe their patients is astonishing to me.

Lydia

In general I’ve been lucky to have decent experiences as a fat woman with doctors. Here are my two extremes in bad and good. I had one GP tell me my painful facial rash was imaginary and I needed to lose weight. The exam involved an interrogation-esque light in the face. I left the office sobbing. Spoiler alert, I had eczema, later diagnosed by a no nonsense dermatologist. My best experience involved my last endocrinologist (thyroidectomy). I was in the lobby and an older man commented on my body size loud enough for me to hear. Usually I would ignore it but this time I snapped, pointed my finger in his face and called him an f’ing azzhole. I was loud, EVERYONE heard. When I saw the doctor later I burst out crying, afraid I would be kicked out of the practice. Instead, she asked if I knew HIS NAME so HE could be let go as a patient. That was one of the most validating experiences of my life as a fat person.

Laura Hill

Try "Heel That Pain" inserts. I got terrible PF from distance running & it was "my heel is full of broken glass" painful. Those inserts *saved* me (& aren't super expensive). I still have them in all my hiking shoes bc they feel so good & keep my feet happy! 2 of my friends w PF got them on my rec & had same results. They're miraculous!

Melissa Swanson

Haven’t read all the comment but did want to say that Medicare is trash. It’s difficult to find a doctor, things are definitely not covered or only partially covered. Even with a platinum Medicare supplement plan, stuff can still be very difficult to get/find.

CoyDahlia (Lindsey)

all my interactions with UK doctors have basically been them trying to get me to go away as quickly as possible

Nemo

The part about not complimenting people for being thin... that really hit me hard. When I was a teenager I suffered from anorexia and I got a lot of compliments about my body and specifically about how thin I was. Honestly to this day I still consider it one of the main reasons that it was so hard for me to recover from my eating disorder.

Emily Rodrigo

I had a brain tumor as a teen that left me with a number of chronic conditions, and honestly the worst part about it is having to engage with multiple providers (who are varying levels of fatphobic) every year, without fail, in order to continue getting the meds that keep me alive. And I've definitely avoided bringing up symptoms because I don't think they'll be taken seriously the same way as if I was thin.

Zara

In my experience, the body size of my doctor doesn't have much to do with how well they treat me

Zara

Also I twisted my ankle a few months back and got plantar fasciitis, which can happen. I’ve been trying to read up about how to treat it but the first piece of advice I find on EVERY WEBSITE is “lose weight.” It’s bad to the point that an article titled “5 bad habits that are making your plantar fasciitis worse” listed “staying overweight” as the number one bad habit. Damn, I’ve been meaning to kick that one for ages! Super helpful advice! Really glad healthcare professionals and science communicators understand what’s feasible for the average human being!

Virginia Smith

Mike’s story about the nipple cut reminds me of when I had a 7.5 centimeter laceration on my foot and I was in the ER and nurses kept poking their heads in just to look at it and one of them told me she came by because she “heard it was gnarly” It was, in fact, gnarly. In case anyone was wondering. 27 stitches.

Virginia Smith

Michael! My friend @all.our.bodies is a kinesiology/posture/body mechanics coach and also loves the podcast. She can totally help with your whack skeleton!

Janelle Dinosaurs

The first time I refused to be weighed, the nurse taking my vitals said that does refuses too! We built rapport talking about how refusing made going to the doctor so much easier and wished we had known sooner. I've def had bad experiences at doctors, but this one was a really good one

Abigail Gruchacz

I'm a fat primary care provider (nurse practitioner) with a lot of personal medical trauma and I have so many responses to this episode that I might have to write a book 🥴. On behalf of my very flawed industry I would like to apologize for all the harm that has been needlessly caused by my (sometimes) well-meaning and (frequently) clueless colleagues.

Hannah Nesbeda

once a tech just asked me for my weight and they either misheard me or made a typo and my weight was recorded as what would be dangerously low and no one said anything about it lol

the_cosmic_alexolotl

I had a gynecologist who never talked to me about my weight, but there would always be a few pages about healthy diet and exercise attached to my appointment summary. I think they just automatically included it for anyone with an “unhealthy” bmi.

the_cosmic_alexolotl

My previous doctor would spend ALL his time during our appointments writing in my file, yet he STILL would ask me things that wouldn't have changed. I was adopted, yet he always asked about my parents' medical history. I would say, "well, my parents have this medical history, but I'm adopted so it doesn't matter because we're not biologically related." Every time he'd ask if I was going to find my "real parents". NO. Still NO. He also would say "well, I suppose you're trying for children!" ALSO NO. He ended up over medicating me on asthma medication and I got an infection and if I didn't have freakishly low blood pressure I might have had a stroke. Dude has thankfully retired.

WOOD, MORGAN

From the UK here and I’m very fat and have never had a GP appointment (regardless of what it was about, anything from tonsillitis to an ingrown toenail) where I haven’t had my weight mentioned. For the last 5/6 years since my last surgery I’d asked not to be weighed because I find those numbers pretty triggering. Then a couple of months ago I needed emergency surgery and so I totally understood they needed my weight for that but I asked not to know what the number was. Over the course of 48 hours I was weighed three times and each time I asked not to know the number but they told me anyway and said it was important I knew how high my BMI was. Since then I’ve struggled so much with old ED feelings towards my weight again and it was just so unnecessary the way they dealt with me.

Esther Field

I’m not sure gowns are a universal American health care experience. I’ve never had to wear one. Also, lab coats partly function as PPE, so I’ve never really seen that as a power move.

Anna Wolfenberger

When Michael mentioned his ear doctor stating they don't getting many people like him there (thin person). I believe American Healthcare system links this thought of if you are thin then you are healthy. Exploring this thought a bit more, gets into the grifters who sell the supplements, weight loss programs, etc ... to this belief of "I am doing everything possible to be "healthy" so I don't need healthcare. " Fat people avoid healthcare because of shaming. Are thin people avoiding because of a false concept of because they aren't fat they are healthy? And to further this question, why is it does it seem those who take all the "snake oils" are applauded for being proactive when people who Google to try to get a semblance of language to ask a healthcare worker get scolded?

Laura Youngblut

lol I laughed out loud at this 🤣

Michelle Keller

Oh my god! 😱

Michelle Keller

that's a lawsuit waiting to happen for that dr... 😳

Meh

Wack skeleton lore unlocked

Cecilia

There's a lot more people in health settings that don't exist in other countries - e. g. Australia doesn't have physician assistants, some GP practices have nurses but many don't. The whole thing is just very disjointed in US... you end up seeing many more people

Meh

So sorry you are going through that -- fertility issues and treatments truly suck, and most physicians just do not seem to have the training to interact with the level of empathy needed.

Miriam Connor

Fave recent doctor experience: my spouse (cis man) and I (cis woman) went through IVF due to sperm issues (I mention our sexes/genders because it matters in this story who has what parts). The other day I saw the following description of *me* in *my* chart: "33 yo married woman, diagnosed with severe male factor". It goes on to list the procedures my spouse had as if *I* had them. No mention of him at all. FINE I GET IT. I have the uterus so EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT.

Miriam Connor

I'm either a hair above or a hair below a 25 BMI (I'm also 5'10"...ish). I just love being told I'm 3# overweight 🙄. Okay, I'll get right on that.

TenaciousB

Ahhh as a rising second year med student… y’all. ☠️👀 I would LOVE an episode on the truly bananas system that is medical education bc it is BAD, esp as we are “trained” to approach weight.

Haley

It is linked from this page, which has a lot of other helpful information. Thank you for the recommendation, Aubrey! https://haeshealthsheets.com/resources/

Emily Homer

Just in case anyone else is looking, here’s a link to the list of friendly providers by Mary Lambert that Aubrey referenced. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1-uu8nSoip1et80P6HHTOVKYB5aJI_PT0lX_AxQsBbJw/htmlview#gid=0

Emily Homer

😂

Ingrid Fromm

I had a really awesome weight-neutral doctor explain to me that she is losing out on a LOT of reimbursement from both Medicare/Medicaid and private insurance because they let you code higher rates if you provide “weight counseling”. I bet this horrible doctor’s office decided they cared only about the money when they came up with that policy. (I feel bad for good providers I have had who are missing out on money by not weighing folks, but I refuse to be responsible for poor policies at the expense of my well-being.) I’m so sorry this happened to you. :(

Laura Law

Something I learned about the weigh in: some insurance companies will pay for doctors to talk about weight loss to patients with higher BMIs. I’ve had intake nurses say the weigh in is required by insurance. This is the reason why. The practice actually wants to be able to bill additional codes for more money. So I’ve met that challenge with replying “I’ll be self paying today.” Now I know it’s not necessary to do that. I can just say no weigh in and no weight reporting.

El

I’m so sorry to hear this, Sarah! It’s horrific that doctors are happy to mutilate fat patients’ digestive systems but refuse other surgeries. Do you follow Ragen Chastain at all? She has written some guides on how higher-weight patients can attempt to get necessary surgeries they need, including recently on her Substack called Weight & Healthcare. I think she sometimes will help folks find a doctor in their area too!

Laura Law

I have been trying to not allow myself to be weighed, some day I am just not up for the fight. However recently I did stand up for myself and I am happy I did. After my yearly exam I looked at my after visit summary and noticed that instead of just obesity it said Obesity due to excessive calorie intake. I e-mailed my doctor and asked that that be removed because A. we never discussed my calorie intake and it is misinformation and B. I was afraid of negative backlash from medical personnel because they might assume that I am not taking care of myself. To my surprise he changed it to Obesity/other without a fight. So I guess I will stay with him for a little longer ;)

Lisza Bakonyi

I know this is not a specific comment but I just have to say the two of you are a sheer delight. Truly, you each brighten up my world and I just adore you both.

Kaela Gibbons

I saw this story too but to be honest it was not at all upsetting to me as a fat person who hates flying! It’s a voluntary survey, the scale doesn’t show any numbers to the airport staff, nor does it attach any data to you as a passenger. It’s fully anonymous! I would MUCH prefer that airlines have a better understanding of how much people weigh to better plan their payloads, and I am actually worried that they won’t have ENOUGH fat people volunteer to be weighed because most of us are so traumatized by scales and having it used against us. I absolutely was furious when Samoa Air tried to charge based on passenger weight, but this airline is not at all trying to do that. (Or so they say. I guess it remains to be seen if they will say anything fat hating after they wrap up the survey.)

Laura Law

Ugh I totally understand this dance. One possibly helpful tip someone gave me was to say “I don’t consent to be weighed,” since patient consent is one thing even the most aggressive healthcare providers know they can’t mess with. It has worked for me to shut up a nurse who insisted they HAD to get my weight, but to be fair it was still stressful to know this woman now hated me and was going to be taking my blood pressure as soon as we got into the room, so it’s not exactly magic.

Laura Law

My childhood dentist, during an emergency after hours appointment after I smashed my teeth running into a pole as a kid said two awkward things that have stayed with me: first, he told me I had an absolutely tiny mouth, the likes of which he had never experienced, then a little while later he exclaimed “you produce more saliva than anyone I have ever met!!” (he had no dental assistant since this was an emergency appointment). He was a very nice guy, though, he made sure to reassure me that having a lot of saliva was a great thing for my dental health. No other dentist has said anything like that to me so I don’t know, maybe I don’t produce a freakish amount of saliva or have a tiny mouth, but I have carried it with me my whole life!

Laura Law

Last time I went to the doctor, the nurse weighed me and then asked my height. I'm 5' 10.5" and rounded down and said 5' 10", could have said 5' 11" just as easily When the doctor came in, he looked at the BMI calculated by my 5' 10" height and said I needed to lose 5 pounds because my BMI was overweight- even tho if I had said 5' 11", I would have been the BMI he wanted me at

Ian Isaboss

You’d be surprised at what a small percentage of health comes down to WHAT we eat! It blew my mind. It’s definitely important that we eat enough, so access is important, but of the social determinants of health, food and physical activity are like 10%.

Laura Law

Did you see Dr. Chen at the Polyclinic??? I’m gonna lose it if we have the same ENT

Julia

Just a word of encouragement- I’m a small-mid fat person in the northeast US and I stopped allowing weigh-ins a couple years ago, and my providers and their staff have all been gracious about it. I still get nervous declining it but I’ve never gotten pushback on it, and I’m grateful for that.

Ellen Henry

Seconding this

Ellen Henry

Ooh can we please have a diabetes debunk? So much sh*t out there concerning how we get it etc

Lauren W

I once had a doctor who didn’t understand why I wanted an STD test because I was a “healthy person” even though I told him I had unprotected sex

Annie Siddle

I actually asked not to be weighed, the nurse was confused and said...oh ok...then took my vitals and then left the room as I waited for the PA (almost never get to see an actual MD). I needed meds for a chronic stomach condition so I had to go in. She comes back in and says I have to get weighed or they won't see/treat me. If I didn't need those meds, or had already paid a specialist copay, I would have walked out. They basically refused to treat me unless I got weighed. I also asked not to see it, but it was in big bold type on the top of my discharge papers. My weight had nothing to do with my bout of SIBO and nothing to do with dosage, as someone who weighs 100 lbs more than me would get the same dosage, and my weight hasn't changed much in the past year I was there previously. I don't look like I've had a drastic weight gain or loss, so I don't know the reason for the weigh in. I was furious because it I literally was refused treatment unless I got on the scale.

Ingrid Fromm

Thank you for this conversation! Bed side manner with doctors is so whack. My husband and I are in month 14 of trying to get pregnant with our first child. When I was 3 months in, my primary care doc said, "oh who knows? Maybe by your next visit in June you'll have a little baby with you!" Turns out in January I was diagnosed with PCOS (after bringing it up with my ob gyn). I'm now working with a fertility specialist, and she's wonderful. Can't wait to see my PCP in a few weeks, much heavier than I was (after dealing with hormones and divesting from diet culture), to let her know that her comment has haunted me for the last 12 months. :)

Allison Akright

Definitely thought Aubrey said something about Mike's "wax" skeleton in that little side bar 😂😅 When Mike started explaining the source of that comment and said his arm was longer than the other, I was picturing something with wax melting?? Hilarious tangent.

Kaitlin Weninger

Went to the ER last month for a severe infection in my face that was going septic. They asked my weight so I gave an estimate, not thinking much of it, especially since it could matter for medication dosage in that moment. Ended up being admitted for the infection and sepsis (and spent five days in the hospital). During my stay, I noticed in my chart that I was diagnosed with obesity based on the estimate I gave in the ER. To be clear, the doctors treating me for SEPSIS were totally unbothered about my weight but my BMI was flagged in the system so they “had” to diagnose me. They never gave me the diet counseling that my notes said I got, and I’m glad they said nothing. I wasn’t in the ER for my weight, I was there to avoid organ failure.

Ariel Michele

I'm pretty sure this is it: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-uu8nSoip1et80P6HHTOVKYB5aJI_PT0lX_AxQsBbJw/

Loyal

Same! My gallbladder was completely nonfunctional when they finally removed it. But a couple days before they wanted to discharge me from the ER, despite currently reporting 10/10 pain, because clearly I was fine. I think they only relented because my white cis male (now ex) partner was there with me at the time and advocated for me. Their gallbladder specialist saw me the next day and emergency surgery was scheduled. I couldn't eat at all for days... not until after the surgery.

Loyal

I once had a GYN say “thank you for being so thin, it makes this much easier” when performing a pelvic exam. So gross to say. Luckily, I was at a point of working toward recovering from disordered eating and was at a place where it did not upset me,

Brooke Robinson

Ps no shade intended towards the NHS it’s amazing just really underfunded and overstretched

KWV

As an NHS Patient in the U.K. my mind is blown that you get 20-30 mins at an appointment! We get about 2 minutes at best! Also, re.Dr Google, so many GPs have literally googled info in front of me! Not the most reassuring! However I did once go to the doctors with a huge pile of printouts about associations between certain medicines and breastfeeding and they were actually so happy, because most GPs have no idea about breastfeeding / drug safety and it made their job so much easier that I had done the research first!

KWV

I am a PT and I regularly tell my patients not to try to lose weight. Often they are so convinced they need to from the medical machine and cultural norms that they think I’m the outlier and don’t trust my opinion. It’s so sad to have patients who are deeply focused on this and not on how to live in their bodies healthily as they are. Also, loling at PT as a secret from western medicine. As a follow up to this episode I would love to hear about the experiences of fat medical providers on their experiences with patients and colleagues.

Katie Heller

Interesting about being weighed at every appointment. I’m from the UK and I am only weighed at my nurses appointment as it determines the medication dosage, I can’t recall being weighed at any other health appointment. That said, my experience might have been different if I were a larger person but I don’t recall this being something that other people I know have said.

Sarah M

I have been trying to get an abdominal hernia repaired for years, but can’t find a doctor to do it without requiring I lose weight. I have explained that it is painful and disrupts my life, that I have a history of an eating disorder and can’t healthily lose weight, that I already go to a HAES nutritionist, but I still can’t get care. Two of the doctors didn’t even see me in person, just said I need to be a certain BMI in order to get the surgery. Many hernia doctors are also bariatric surgery specialists, too. So, weight loss is their profession. If anyone here knows a HAES hernia repair surgeon in Georgia, I would be extremely grateful!

Sarah

OMG Michael, I love your exclamation at 22:30 about "what if it **is** medically necessary??" I'm a relatively average-sized (height, weight, and general measurements/dimensions) lady in my late-30s. I have a couple of medications with weight-dependent dosage and I've established with my doctor that we really only need to weigh me once a year **or** if my clothes fit differently enough that I think there's a 10+ pound difference. When I started the meds I asked what the weight/dose intervals were and after learning my dose would only change with a 15+lb difference in my weight, I decided I'd bring up with my doctor how 'medically necessary' weigh-ins at monthly (or sometimes more frequent) appointments really were. Being empowered to tell the medical assistant at each visit that I don't need to be weighed and that my doctor is on the same page is hugely helpful and empowering for me and helps the assistant not feel like they're doing something wrong. If you have providers that you like and who listen to you, it's worth raising the issue of weighing at each appointment and negotiating when it's actually medically necessary. Often the doctor doesn't care at all; it's the person bringing you back to the room that doesn't want to get in trouble for not checking all the boxes.

Shannon

same!! i got so many compliments for being skinny but the reason i was 90 pounds was bc i couldn’t hold any food down! turned out i had h. pylori which was causing a million gastric issues. it was crazy to have people tell me i looked good when all i could eat was plain white rice and i walked around the house with a sick bowl in case i had another attack 😭

Kassie Marie

I think we need a Diagnosis: WHACK shirt

Leigh Fisher

One note I’d like to add re: all the people in Mike’s Twitter mentions defending getting weighed at every appointment is that my brother was weighed 2 months apart at different medical appointments (annual physical + eye doctor) and they were psyched about his weight fluctuation - a 50 lb loss! Good job, bud! What was his secret? Thyroid cancer. Diagnosed after he found a lump on his neck a month or two later. He’s totally fine now, underwent surgery and has gained weight back, but it’s still darkly hilarious to us that he got the most positive assessments from friends, family, and medical professionals while cancerous 😬

Rhiannon Jacobs

Part of the weighing thing is that it used to be a billing requirement that you have a certain number of vital signs documented 🙃

Hannah Locke

Same here. I thought it would help me think less in terms of “bad” and “good” food but it made me 10x more obsessed with what I was eating in all new ways. It’s been years since I did that program and I’m still struggling with the bad habits it taught me.

Siera King

Wow. That’s awful…even sadistic. I’m so sorry you went through that.

Siera King

I’m a nurse in the Midwest- I work with quite a few fat doctors. I bet the region of the country you live in plays a big part in what the doctors in your city look like.

Stephanie Miller

(I still see him btw 🤣)

AliceH

Wildest thing a doc has ever said to me (as context - I get regular botox & trigger point injections for migraines and this DEEPLY weird neuro has been doing them for a few years by now): I couldn't remember if I needed to wait after getting shots (bc you do for trig.pt.) and I asked and he says "nah, no side effects w botox.... unless I give you too much and it KILLS YOU" then he *laughed* and wandered out of the room!

AliceH

That was my first thought too 🤣

AliceH

Ewwwwwww

Carly Gove

Ooooh.. I've wondered about this, and why doctors don't put "We prefer not to treat patients with a BMI above (BLANK) if they dislike fat folks so much. Greed explains it.

Merideth Jenson-Benjamin

This is so demented lmao. You know when this man is out to dinner with his family he responds to the waitress asking "Did everything turn out okay?" by gesturing to his empty plate and saying "No, I clearly hated it! :D"

Carly Gove

I worked in ENT ofc for 40 years (retired in 2015) and we never weighed people until around the last 5 years of my employ. The reason we started doing it (as well as taking routine blood pressures) is because if we didn’t we could not charge a level 3 visit. The insurance companies pay based on complexity of a visit and some genius decided there were certain things that comprised a complex visit. So if you came in because your ear was blocked with wax we weighed you, asked your height, and took your BP - none of which had anything to do with the visit. If we didn’t do these things we had to charge a lower level visit. Ironically, in some cases removing wax can be the most difficult, time consuming thing done in an ENT office. So fuck skill and time spent solving the problem, if you don’t hit all the bullet points for a level 3 visit tough shit.

Marcia

Aubrey mentioning that she avoided the doctor for years due to a bad experience during an ear infection made something click inside my brain that my fear of (and avoidance of) doctors started when an OBGYN who I was visiting because my period was absent told me I needed to lose weight. I'm absolutely shook by this.

Michelle &amp; Danny

I am having such a good time trying to decide what I think the "snake diet" is that I don't even want to look up what the snake diet actually is. Do you only eat snakes? Do you binge eat once a month and then fast?? Do you only eat insects and small rodents??? The reality cannot POSSIBLY be as good.

funnyletter

Can you cover the Snake Diet? https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/snake-diet

Sebastian Constable

The last time I went to my doctor (with suspected norovirus) I mentioned that I had been rapidly losing weight due to loss of fluids. My doctor, without missing a heat, looked at my chart and said “oh okay we’ll you’ve actually gained weight since your last visit.” Okay????? So I gained weight slowly over a period of 6 months and am telling you now that I can’t stop vomiting and have lost weight and you feel the need to comment on the weight gain???

Erin Johnson

I'm so extra grateful for Aubrey because a few years ago you put up a post about "if you're a medical provider who isn't anti-fat put your info and location in the comments" and that's how I found my incredible doctor here in Knoxville, TN. She's been an incredible support for me as a fat person. And if you're a patreon member--HI DR. KOLARIK!!! 😄😄😘

H e ll a m a l a i s e

The US is only middling for suicide iirc, and many countries with generally better health outcomes have way worse suicide rates for cultural reasons eg the Republic of Korea and Finland.

Sebastian Constable

One of the things I'd love to know about US healthcare is why they put you in those paper gowns for seemingly everything? Like in the UK I've never been asked to fully change into something else unless I've been in hospital. If I'm at the gynecologist they just ask you to strip from the waist down then put a little modesty thing over you. I've even heard people going for just a general check up and having to completely undress? When all they need to do is listen to your chest, take blood pressure etc. Seems like a way to really differentiate the power in the room. Same with lab coats! 🤯 Have never seen a Dr in a lab coat in the UK

Nell

It's not the same of course, but I can absolutely relate to the discussions of not wanting to be a "difficult patient" - as someone with mental health conditions in my record (autism, generalized anxiety, disordered eating) trying to get answers about some concerning symptoms it can be hard to prove that the symptoms are not psychological, because the more you try to convince them, the more likely they are to see you as difficult and not someone to be trusted. Even with a letter from my therapist saying that the symptoms don't match other people they've seen with psychological symptoms, and they do not believe they are caused by my mental health, I still have specialists act as though it's the obvious answer. It's so frustrating to feel as though you have to work around a medical professional's ego. I understand that sometimes they don't have the answers, but I much prefer the professionals who are able to say "I'm not sure why that's happening, maybe you should see a neurologist" to the ones who are like "Well, you have anxiety, and your MRI was clean, so :/" Like yeah, I've had my anxiety disorder since I was child though. I haven't had these symptoms until this past fall. (The symptoms in question are stuttering and vocal tremors that go away if I lie down, and seem to be brought on by being too hot or too cold, plus headaches, dizziness, chest pain, and some weird tingling feelings in my legs sometimes. So I get how they sound like anxiety symptoms, but I know my body and my mental health. Also more recently some muscle jerking, so that's fun)

Sam Ramsay

Dr. Google is sometimes Dr. Librarian (I Am Not a Medical Professional)

Rachel Wilhoyte

Talking of dismissive doctors telling you off, being peri-menopausal and trying to get access to hormones is fun.

Sarah Margolis

I had a doctor that was great in all other ways except this period of anxiety and depression that I had where I saw him like 4 times and each time he made comments about weight I lost or gained. I was on anti-anxiety meds and he never told me why it should be a concern. When he'd say I had lost weight, I'd go home and eat. If I gained weight, I'd either restrict snacks or just feel like shit when I ate. I finally told him "We're not talking about this anymore without a reason."

Rachel Wilhoyte

Any time I go in for an eye doctor appointment from now on I'll think of "the eyeball specialist doing the 'PFFT' thing"

Molly

My fat self has never related to Mike more than when he was ranting about orthodontics. I was supposed to get head gear but the orthodontist changed his mind at the last minute without explaining why to my mom. Now I need jaw surgery and a 2nd round of braces because I have a, to quote a very wise medical professional, "wack" skull 🤷. Also, I'm with Aubrey re: the weighing thing. I'm in roughly the same weight range and I don't have the energy to fight that before fighting to get a referral and tests that I need.

Tomorrow Sucked

In Canada here - I straddle the line between straight and plus size, and have usually had no resistance when I say I don't want to be weighed (they put it in my chart at my GP so they no longer ask me there), but recently I had knee surgery and they had to weigh me for the anesthetic. I turned backwards on the scale which I thought was the universal sign for "I don't want to know" but the nurse went ahead and read it out loud (in lbs). I hadn't heard my weight since I was pregnant in 2015 so it was very triggering for me, and I told her I didn't want to hear it, and she acted completely baffled and said something along the lines of "well the truth hurts sometimes" and continued to repeat it SEVERAL times as she filled out some forms on her computer. I kept saying, "please stop saying it" and she said, "well how about this, it doesn't sound as bad in kilograms" and then said it again in kilograms!!! I was so mad I could've screamed at her, especially since I hadn't been allowed to have coffee that morning on account of the surgery... 😡

Allene Chomyn

Also wanted to mention that I have officially not gotten into any of the medical schools that I applied to !! Obviously there are a ton of factors that affect admissions but as someone who has very similar statistics and skill sets to other friends currently in med school, i have a feeling that i didn't get as many interviews because I wrote a lot in my application essays about a lack of legit nutrition resources and education, health at every size, and patient centered care which maybe schools felt attacked by ?? idk?? Needless to say I am going to pursue a career in dietetics instead ...

Micaela

Please do an episode on Noom! I fell for their cognitive behavior Schlick early on when they were charging a lot without providing any direct way to cancel. I don’t know how I did it but I somehow found a number for their corporate office and vented my frustration on the poor unfortunate who answered. Now there’s “New Noom.”

Christa Morrow

Does anyone have a link to the spreadsheet mentioned early in the episode, where fat people can leave listings of good doctor experiences they've had? I can't seem to find it :(

Ceres

I've been on the same dosage of antidepressants for the past three years but moved states so I had to find a provider. I got a telehealth appointment because it's easier and i just needed someone to write me the prescription. My psychiatrist asked me how much I weighed and I said that I didn't know and it's not relevant because I'm happy on my current dosage and don't want to change it. she asked how much I "think" I weight *sigh* and then said she wanted to know IN CASE I WANTED WEIGHT LOSS DRUGS. I put in my history before the new appointment that I have previous experience with an eating disorder. thank god the appointment wasn't in person so it wasn't as obvious that i was crying

Micaela

I've only been weighed in Australia when it was directly related to a condition. In the US, they seem to want to weigh you every time, for no reason at all.

Meh

Shout out team headgear!

Laura Patterson

So I am finally in the process of getting some information about chronic problems I’ve had since adolescence. One of those things is that my heart rate is high. It’s high now that I’m a size 20. It was high when I was a size 2. It was high when I did no exercise, and it was high when I trained for and ran a half marathon. When I was younger and thinner NOBODY CARED. When I was 30, I tripped really strangely and fell into the frame of my car, landing on my ribs. It HURT and it hurt to breathe. I was pretty sure I just bruised it but thought I should get it checked out anyway. I went to the doctor and as they were taking my vitals they were like holy shit your heart rate and I was like yea it’s always been like that. Also I’m in pain. That isn’t the problem. And they WOULD NOT move on from it. Gave me an EKG even though there was one on my chart from less than a year ago when I had had surgery. And then they were like “ok the ekg says your heart is fine you can go home” and I was like THIS IS NOT WHY I CAME HERE. But yea. I got no actual medical care that day.

Sara Nadeau

I have a strong willed, neurodivergent 7th grader refusing braces, and now I know to push more on this!

Lisa Johnson

I was diagnosed with a chronic illness just a few years ago and since then have moved to the UK from the US. The difference in my care has been staggering; my UK doctors are always baffled by how poor my rural Midwest medical care was, which is extra nuts considering that the NHS here is currently in crisis. It's incredible how emotionally damaging it can be when doctors don't believe you (for any reason) and I'm still dealing with tons of medical anxiety. Thanks MP team for being so open and honest in your discussion of all this! This show is genuinely so healing ❤

Aurora

Episode suggestion: Gary Null. my dad found him podcasting/blogging in the 00s and might have been one of the first health grifters to the podcasting scene. He seems like someone who should be pretty well known as a health grifter but I never hear about him. He encouraged my parents down the nutrition BS to alt right pipeline very early.

Kelsey Hilmes

I also get white coat, and I listen to Marconi Union - Weightless on the drive to the doctor. It has really helped me!

Anita Ford

Two of the funniest and also infuriating things the last GP I saw said to me was: (1) you should eat 1/2 vegetables 1/3 protein and 1/3 carbs for every meal (that's not a typo he just couldn't math) and (2) after I explained that I actually walk my dog every day (around 4 km) he said "oh if you're doing it every day it's like not doing it at all because your body is used to it" which I'm pretty was code for "I don't believe you". All of this after admitting well yes you thryroid function is low and has been for years and *maybe* part of the reason why you don't loose weight but it's no excuse (he brought it up not me!). So I'm never going back there.

Beth Wieland

Pretty sure it’s WAX skeleton actually

David Larsen

Just wanted to say that y'all gave me the strength to say to a doctor that I didn't want to get weighed or discuss my weight with them(it was a dermatologist). So thank you for that. Also just had to add, that a while ago after an urgent care visit because half of my face swelled up, I noticed part of the after action care was a weight loss routine. How could that possibly have to do with my swollen face? I was so angry.

Amanda Clegg Lyon

mike, i had an eerily similar nipple experience when i was living in germany, but the doctor just poked my injured nipple with her finger, grimaced, and asked “what do you want me to do about it?” ummm fixing it would be cool! also “whack skeleton” screams hypermobility to me. i saw exactly one bajillion healthcare providers before anyone even mentioned that word to me, and it was about a half a bajillion more dr appts before i was diagnosed with EDS (and that wasn’t until after i accidentally lost about 75 lbs due to celiac complications and was suddenly taken seriously bc everyone mistook illness for health!). yay doctors are so cool! i could go on and on but y’all have said it all and better - love and appreciate the show so much. aubrey, i just think you’re one of the coolest people i’ve never met 🧡

amanda brtn

Michael’s story about unnecessary and disgusting “praise” from strangers about being thin reminded me of a man in the middle seat of my flight years ago. I gestured towards the aisle seat next to him and politely said “hi, this is my seat”. He looked me up and down and said “And you’re the perfect size for it 😀”. ?!?!? I gave him a horrified look and his weird smile slowly faded. He left me alone after that.

Rosie Dixon

One of many reasons I had a way better experience with a midwife than an OBGYN or GP for my last pregnancy was never being weighed, not once, not even asked to be, versus being weighed in front of the other patients every single time I went to a GP or OBGYN (this was in Canada where we don’t get weighed at every appointment except as soon as you try to spawn apparently!!)

Kat Black

So…I’m going to guess part of why no one gets weighed in the rest of the world vs. the US is because weight is considered a vital sign and the number of vital signs you take gets tied into what you can bill for the visit. 😬💰

Katie Schlee

When I was already under anesthesia for my deviated septum correction at age 14, the surgeon asked my parents if he should “fix” the bump on my nose, ie, I would just wake up with a different face. WTF.

Kat Black

Eyeball specialist

mariana olenko

You wanna hear EMT beef???? I was born with a deviated septum, and suffered from a LOT of nosebleeds as a kid. I had my nostrils cauterized many times (yikes I know). When I needed cauterization again at 13, the EMT commented on my nose and said "well I do plastic surgery, if you ever decide you're interested" I WAS THIRTEEN.

Berkley 🌸

I’m a nurse and a post I made on the nursing subreddit got promptly locked when I asked if we could talk about how “we” (HCWs) talk about fat people. I’ve seen so much of it and it’s so gross. I also have a history of an eating disorder and had a horrific PCP appointment last week with a new doctor. They had their scale in the waiting room! So I had to ask the MA not to tell me my weight because just like you guys talked about, I didn’t want to refuse the weight and have that battle. Anyway it was bold at the top of my patient summary so that didn’t work out well. Ohhhhh incredibly relatable. Incredible timing. Loved this bonus ep.

Lindsay Harrigan

I haven't been to the doctor since being told I could wait for a surgery because "you'll feel better losing weight than you will with your gall bladder removed" two er visits and a "voluntary" surgery later, turns out my years long inability to consistently eat anything solid was a direct result of having a bad gall bladder.

twiglt

Man, the timing. Just had a psych checkup where of course they weighed me… and now I’m home looking at the overview docs and the nurse noted it as 20lbs over what it was. Such an important health marker that they pay close attention to! Like jfc what even is the point.

Sara Coburn

So I don't recommend this, but I accidentally diagnosed my friend's Hidradenitis Suppurativa using TikTok. This video described all the symptoms her doctors attributed to fatness or poor hygiene (this is completely laughable -- it had nothing to do with her weight and she's always been very hygienic). It also talked about medical gaslighting and how many people don't get diagnosed. Now she's been able to treat it because one bozo using TikTok cares more about her actual health than almost every doctor she's ever had.

eliza washington

I've had good luck with One Medical. I've been a large fat person for most of my life but my current doctor really listens to me and treats me like a person. edit: They have an online intake form where I specifically said "I'm a fat person trying to repair their relationship with medicine and I would prefer to not be weighed." Not only was that honored, they've NEVER shamed me for it. I don't even think they brought it up.

eliza washington

Chicago folks - heads up abt this if you ever have an appt at Innovative Care! Although I do like my PCP and think she is pretty solid

hannah lamberty

Okay re: being weighed at appointments - I recently went to a new PCP where they took MY WAIST CIRCUMFERENCE as part of new patient intake. They just whipped out a measuring tape and took it before I could really ask why/say "oh no thanks and also fuck that??"

hannah lamberty

Michael's whacky body reminds of my last experience with surgery: the surgeon who was removing my gallbladder got confused, gave up, and told my husband, "her insides are crazy and I didn't know what to do."

Martha Wetzel

OMG Michael I also have a "whack" skeleton! I walked funny as a kid so my mom got my back checked for scoliosis, and my spine is straight but my shoulders are crooked. Nothing was done about it, no doctor has ever mentioned it since and I have not really had issues as far as I can tell. But amazing to finally hear of someone else with the same oddity lol. 🩻

Helen of What

Maybe if Michael only drank celery juice and ate only red meat his body will be less whack 😂

Kim Luke

If anyone has a recommendation for a pcp in nyc, I’d love to hear. I know they say people write this on every ep, but I have found four HAES doctors who have canceled on me this year. Trying to find a doctor who can help me with an issue besides assuming it’s my size. 🙏🏻 thank you for the episode, Aubrey & Michael!!

Alanna Gilbert

I dont even have a doctor because i cant find one that doesnt feel like they're judging me. my son is a bigger kid but his pediatrician is amazing and im just like "i wish you could be my doctor too!" lol. to Mikes point about never seeing anything other than a fit doctor, i have had the same experience, but the nurses and nurse practitioners are all sizes. super interesting!

Mollie Mae

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 21, i was in severe DKA (diabetic keto acidosis) for months and i kept going to the doctor and yes being weighed. in 1 week i lost 13 pounds and the nurse said “wow what a great weight to be”. i was literally days away from dying and when i finally went to the emergency room it was so clear what was going on they figured it out while i was doing the intake paperwork. I used to be a little chubby but still disgusted that losing 13 pounds in ONE WEEK received a round of applause instead of serious medical concern. it was so obvious what was wrong even webmd said it was DKA and the nurses just thought it was great i was thinner. needless to say i didn’t go back to that doctor ever again. i quite literally could have died if I didn’t go to the ER :/

Summer Holland

I’m in Australia and I honestly can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been weighed. Even in my 2 high risk pregnancies. I’ve been asked to guess for anaesthetic purposes and I’ve been weighed to get my sons weight but otherwise…. Never.

Kate Lambert

When I was diagnosed with PCOS and the doctor was discussing options for treatments of my symptoms (the main one being that I was getting god awful mood swings and migraines whenever my period was late), she out of the blue asked where I was on my “weight loss journey,” definitely assuming that since I’m fat, I must already be trying many different ways to lose weight. After I attempted to explain while trying not to cry my history of disordered eating, forced dieting by my mom as a child, how I also get migraines if I don’t eat enough, etc, her solution was to offer to prescribe me weight loss drugs and metformin (even though she hadn’t tested my blood sugar and if she had asked, I could have told her it’s never come back as high?). I’m officially managing my symptoms on my own with supplements now, and I’m terrified of discussing my PCOS symptoms with a doctor again. (Thankfully, the supplements seem to work fairly well.) Going to the doctor as a fat person definitely sucks.

Erin Madison

Hi! Love the pod! 🙌Saw this headline today and all I could hear was Aubrey’s voice in my head saying “Fuck off!” https://www.npr.org/2023/05/30/1178838387/air-new-zealand-weighs-passengers

Katie Sterner

Blind lady here! It's really difficult to get medical professionals to believe me when I describe my symptoms, as if being a blind lady prevents me from knowing if I'm sick or in pain.

Krishna Washburn

(I'm still not 100% sure what it is, but I'm fairly certain it's inflammation from hormones pressing on a relatively minor spinal injury. Orilissa has helped a lot.)

El Call

When I had mono seven years ago, the nurse took a look at my tonsils and gagged. Also, re: medical mysteries, I'd been having cyclical nerve pain, and no doctor I went to for it was helpful. The neurologist said "menstrual cycles are just weird like that," and the pain management guy said, "nerve pain isn't supposed to be cyclical." I know! That's why I'm here!

El Call

I definitely notice the lisp, Mike, but it's not that strong. And I'm autistic, which may mean I'm just more sensitive to this kind of thing.

Solomon Freilich

aubrey and mike, you each missed your 'do you know who i am' moment when y'all were presumed to be straight and proud.

Elsi Dawson

I keep asking not to have my weight taken and bullied into doing it anyway by nurses. I really don’t want to be That One Contentious Fat Patient so I do it anyway. 😭

Sei B

By far the strangest healthcare experience I've had was getting a group check up (I think put on by the city's health department?) the day after arriving to South Korea to teach English in 2010. If any health problems were discovered- specifically HIV+, a heart condition, or cancer- or if you tested positive for any drugs, you would be immediately taken to the airport and sent home (and they were not playing- my roommate was sent home on day-one for admitting she had had a little weed and a xanax before the long flight). So, we were all a little nervous even if we knew we were healthy and hadn't accidentally done any heroin lately. The group of about 50 of us, mostly in our early 20s and all jet lagged, were bussed to the basement of a nondescript building, where different stations were set up- blood pressure, weight, blood sampling, some sort of heart/ekg machine, and (seriously) the only private station which was a sort of tent for performing mammograms on the ladies (why??). There was no other privacy, so you could watch everyone get their tests while you waited. The scale they used was a Biggest Looser style machine that displayed your weight in big red numbers over your head for the whole basement full of strangers to see.

Molly

I got abdominal surgery in college and during the pre-op appointment the surgeon gleefully said she was looking forward to an easy surgery because she doesn't usually have young, thin, patients who haven't had previous operations. My skinny and very anit-fat mom who had been on my case about my weight since 5th grade was visually horrified that they doctor would consider me thin at the weight I was at that time. At the time I took it as a complement, it would weird me out now. It also made me confident in my doctor since she I guess usually did surgeries with higher risk of complications.

Emily

Whew, this episode brought me back to the moment my brother's oncologist congratulated him on losing weight. Fun Fact: the weight came off because he could not keep any food down for weeks and weeks thanks to chemo. When our mom expressed her concern that he wasn't able to eat the doctor said "Oh I get it, Mom's worry about making sure their kids are fed. But people can go a long, long time without eating. He's fine.". I don't blame the doctor for my brother passing away but I often wonder if the "best oncologist at UCLA" was 100% focused on saving him.

TR

I got the entire "loose weight" lecture from my cardiologist the last time I was there. I had lost 1lb according to his records. 1lb. So time for a lecture about not eating so much, eat more vegetables, don't drink alcohol, don't drink sugared pop, don't do this, don't do that, exercise more. Firetrucker had me in tears and I just stopped listening. He tried to empathise with "i know this is hard to hear..." Firetrucker started to go into intermittent fasting regimen. I just about hit the roof. I'm on a gawddamn med that the side effect, the MAIN side effect, is weight gain! I lost a pound while on this med. That should say something about my will power. Nope. I am not doing enough, according to him. Okay, so the medicine he had me on for 6 months last year was a hyperglycemic and sent me into a pancreatitis event. Nope. Need to loose weight and it's my fault that I can't. FFS. Every place I go, I get a printout after I see the doctor and there's always the (minimum) 2 pages of diet, exercise, and weight loss advice. A printout. When the doctor or NP or PA doesn't even bother to ask. I've had a complete change in my diet from pre-December 2020, and I still can't loose weight. And I can't get Ozempic cause I'd be paying for it out of pocket and we don't have the $$$ for it.

yolanda goodwin

About your 'whack skeleton': as a nurse I find myself regularly telling people that their body did not read the textbook.

Aimee Haase

The main reason most doctors in the US weigh patients is so they can code “obesity” which is a Medicare Hierarchical condition category (HCC) that allows us to up-code and get payed more. Yep. Not only do fat patients get less time with us, get worse care, we actually get payed more to see them

Kathleen Savage

In case this is helpful for anyone else: I’ve started telling the nurse at check in that I get white coat syndrome pretty easily and mostly they’ve been good (at different providers) about letting me do my blood pressure twice and/or not talking to me during it so I can focus on my breathing.

Marguerite

Rachel Avila

Oh I have a complimented for being thin story. During an “Office Health Initiative!!!” there was some sort of bonus if you agreed to get weight and your blood pressure taken. They set up the conference room with little cubes so there was privacy which I thought was great! I went in, got all my numbers taken, but instead of the nurse handing me the paper she very loudly said “Wow, good job Rachel! Your weight and blood pressure are this, you’re healthy! Keep doing what you’re doing!”

Rachel Avila

I started requesting not to be weighed at medical appointments in the last couple years. When i visited the doctor a few weeks ago, they asked “about how tall do you think you are?” and i gave my best guess, but i haven’t been measured in years. Then just like Mike, they asked how much i “think” i weigh. Based on those ballpark numbers, they started telling me to keep an eye on my BMI 🙃 deeply unserious science lol

Kelly Moran

On the "well they have to weigh you because if your weight fluctuates the doctor needs to know" my mum has been having some health problems and she hasn't been eating and she's lost a dramatic amount of weight (I hadn't seen her in person in almost a year so I really noticed it) and she had me come to one of her doctors appointments to help her advocate for herself and he hadn't weighed her since 2016. And you know what happened? The doctor believed me that she really hadn't been eating and gave us some tips/told her to take a meal replacement thing daily, weighed her and said they'd check in regularly to keep it updated. Which is the exact same treatment she'd have gotten if they had known her weight

Carolyn Jeffries

Re: Doctors making weird jokes, when I was in ~8th grade I had to see a cardiologist for a single visit, and because of my age I got sent to a pediatric cardiologist. At one point during the exam, the doc put his stethoscope against my forehead and, after a few moments of my mom and I just looking at each other like "what the heck is this man doing", he goes "Yup, just boys' names in there" and then he was clearly expecting a laugh but instead my mom and I both just stared at him like "???" in dead silence. I still think about this sometimes, because just ??? Why do that?? It assumes 1) I didn't know how a stethoscope worked, and 2) that I was a teenage girl so of course I was boy crazy, and both are kind of offensive.

Jessica Beard

I went to the doctor last week for a respiratory infection. They knew why I was there, they even told me to wear a mask for my appt (I was going to anyway) …and I still got weighed when I got there 😒

Jelly J

Oh my god I had a headgear too 😆

Emily Lynn Paulson

As a fat person around Aubrey’s size I get almost exclusively negative reactions to refusing to be weighed. My line to healthcare folks is this: “If you need to prescribe a medication that requires an accurate weight or I’m to go under anesthesia you may weigh me BACKWARDS on the scale so I don’t know the outcome. I have an eating disorder and I CANNOT know what I weigh.” That usually shuts them up. (But not always.)

Paula Smith

It is so surreal! I also lucked into an amazing NP who just...treats me like a person, and I'm both relieved for myself and heartbroken that providers like her are so rare.

Emily

I've spent most of my adult life as a not fat person but over last handful of years I've put on close to 75 pounds and it's just sort of hung around. Last year I had to see an NP instead of my regular doctor and because I've been suicidal in the past and have had issues with drinking alcohol my regular doctor always has me fill out a questionnaire and then we talk about how I'm doing, no matter what I'm in for. So the NP looks at my answers doesn't talk to me about that stuff just goes off about my weight gain and I'm actually there for a UTI. Like dude I know I'm now considered obese per the BMI. Like I have a fucking mirror. Can we deal with the UTI and if you are so inclined to talk to me about something other than the antibiotics I will be taking maybe see if I wanna die or I'm drinking too much again. Like goddamn. And I'm a nurse! Like I know how to take care of people and how to prioritize stuff. Right now my weight isn't number 1!

heathermama7

I think the last time I got weighed in a medical context was nine years ago when I was having gallbladder surgery and they needed my weight for calculating the anaesthesia. I might have gotten weighed last time I changed doctors and they were doing intake/patient history but I don't recall. I don't weigh myself at home, so I don't know what I weigh. I live in Canada. I know people who have had poor experiences related to their weight with the medical system here, but I've been lucky enough to find a doctor who doesn't bring up my weight. He's pretty good at listening to me and I don't feel like he's ignoring me when I come in. The challenge now is getting an appointment since the pandemic since the practice he works in is super-busy and they have fewer staff available now.

Anna O.

As someone who has never lived in the US , a lot of your stories about doctor patient relations and bedside manner of medical professionals are just truly OUTRAGEOUS to me. Anyone who can't keep comments about other people's appearances to themselves, anyone who can't actively listen for just a few minutes, or anyone who can't even pretend to have sympathy should not be a medical professional. No excuses or exceptions.

Erica

fuck, the part about thin people not trusting fat doctors is Rough. one of my high school boyfriends (very skinny) once said to my face that he wouldn't ever trust a fat doctor. and when i expressed frustration about this, to my thin coworkers, they agreed with him. i asked "well, I'm fat, does that mean you don't trust me?" and they just said "you're not my doctor". horrifying

Lilith Dyke

Was met with shock when I successfully controlled my gestational diabetes with diet. Tell me you think I don't have self-control because of my BMI without telling me you don't think I have self-control because of my BMI. :(

Katherine Thibodeaux

i really appreciate this episode! Its nice to hear people in the same boat. My family couldnt afford braces until i was an older teen and my teeth are wack as a result. I have anxiety and when going to a new doctor I always feel so anxious when they make jokes or dismiss me for minor things- I have recurring contact dermatitis issues and every doctor will be like "meh that isnt that bad" and prescribe the wrong thing. doctors need to be respectful for even minor issues, they dont get to be dismissive just because they see "worse" regularly...

OtterofLore

Mike, that ear doctor was flirting with you

Maria Moeller

Go!!! Don't have a weird chest feeling. I'm sorry that you even have to ponder this it's such bullshit.

heathermama7

As a nurse there is literally a handful of things we need a weight for. A couple drugs are weight based but those are almost always given in the hospital and we might do daily weights on someone who has heart failure to monitor their third spacing of fluids and if we need to increase a diuretic. Otherwise we don't need it. We tend to weigh kids more often due to almost all medication for children being weight based because most drugs are made for white men and not children or other people.

heathermama7

Definitely relate to Aubrey about specialists. An eye doctor in 2021 told me I had pseudotumor cerebri and if I lost 20 lbs, it'd go away on its own. I said "If it's pseudotumor, you have to send me to a specialist..." and he was like "Nah, 20 lbs. that'll fix it."

Marguerite

My current PCP is a fat woman and she's easily the best doctor I've ever had. She was the first person to tell me I could request not to be weighed after I mentioned that being weighed was often triggering for me. She also expressed relief that i didn't experience the sudden rapid weight loss that is common with a medication she put me on, despite the fact that by BMI standards, I need to lose significant weight. It's been soooo good to have a doc who really doesn't look at my weight much at all and who even acknowledges that not all weight loss is good weight loss, even in fat patients. Even with a good doctor though, the nurses in the practice (which is a fairly large clinic) still want to weigh me, and I got comments from them back when i let them do so saying I "hide it well". "Obesity" is still in my medical chart as a health issue despite the fact that my actual health issues are pretty clearly completely unrelated to my weight. Finding one gem of a doctor doesn't change the fact that my weight is involved in every other part of that medical interaction for no real reason. The change needed is structural, not individual.

Mikah

Wait, why didn’t get Mike weight at every doctors appointment in the U.K.? I do. They also check my height everytime, just in case I did grow in the last couple of months (I am 42, so not that likely)

Katrin Willms

Every doctor who goes to suggest I lose weight begins their speech as if they think no one has everrrrrrrr told me about losing weight before. Oh, to live in the world they imagine I'm in.

Marguerite

Gah, so relatable. Hope you’re doing ok!

Elizabeth M

I'm literally listening to this while pondering whether I should or shouldn't go to the doctor about having acute weird chest feelings. Like yes, but I don't want to get a lecture. But then again what if it's deadly. But what if it's not!

Anni

The ‘bedside attitude’ thing was so relatable. I once suddenly got extreme pain in my eye on a Saturday night and it was shut and painful/sensitive on Sunday. On Monday it was not painful anymore but there was clearly a small black dot on my eye. My doctor’s first reaction: “are you sure you’re not imagining it?” right before she diagnosed me with a metal splinter that could have left me blind if untreated 🙃 she’s very normal usually but I still hold that against her lol

Anne

The other day I went to a new doctor because my okayish old doctor left the practice. In the follow up notes she told me to both exercise more and that my pain is cause by overuse. At least she gave me the specialist referral I asked for?

Mandy

I'm feeling very validated right now for pushing through the fussing to get my 7th grader and her extreme overbite into braces! You're saving queer kids from collegiate braces one podcast episode at a time, Mike!

Brooke Densmore Williams

Thank you so much for doing this episode! It was very helpful and cathartic to listen to. I recently completely lucked into the first doctor (nurse practitioner technically) I've ever seen in my life who has not once brought up my weight. She is the first person who's ever believed me about my chronic pain and she recently referred me to 2 (non weight related) specialists which has never happened to me before. I kept asking my thin partner "Is this what it's always like for you?" My first visit felt so surreal lmao

Orion Spencer

To the point of being weighed when it’s necessary, I know sometimes it’s needed to know proper dose of certain meds. When at the doctor’s office now, if they try to weigh me at the start, I ask if it’s necessary and tell them I’ll wait til the end of it turns out I need new meds. Otherwise, I tell them no thank you. The nurses look really confused but my doctor just laughs. She’s a good egg.

Carrie Meyer

I have SLE and fibromyalgia (and multiple other pain issues) and it took forever to get diagnosed bc of this and even now, I still get “are you sure you’re in pain?” I have lab results that prove I have lupus, you bet I’m in pain! It’s amazing how dismissive it all is. I’ve gotten really blunt and dismissive with doctors that are shitty bc it’s happened so often.

Carrie Meyer

On the subject of doctors making very weird jokes, I once had a dentist who told me that I had "groovy" teeth. He meant that my molars naturally have very deep grooves, which just makes them harder to clean, but him and the hygienist made at least 5 jokes about it in a single appointment. When I left, he was like "Take care of those groooovy teeth."

Allie L.

Honestly I really appreciated this conversation at this time. I’m dealing with a difficult doctor right now who basically talks to me like a child (I’m a skinny white lady) and asks me questions like “are you sure you’re in pain?” I’m in Canada and the wait time to get a 3 min appointment with them is 6 months. 🙄 These stories are horrible but i feel less alone about dealing with garbage doctors.

Eliza B

I moved to the US from the UK and found a new doctor online. I was six months postpartum, having experienced hyperemesis gravidarum and I had my baby who I was still nursing with me in the doctor’s office. The main thing I remember from that appointment was being told my BMI was too high and I needed to lose a lot of weight. No questions about my diet or activity levels. No consideration for the fact my body had been through hell. No discussion of nutrition for a nursing mother. I left and haven’t been back.

Alyssa Heath

This was so relatable! I’d love to hear this conversation continued with someone like Imani Barbarin joining in about the complexities of adding disability and Blackness to the dynamic of being fat at a doctor’s office.

Em Buktenica

I had to get a gum graft thanks to my retainer as well! Luckily it has only been one so far, but I definitely have some gum recession so we'll see

Allie L.

As a new braces wearer at 32, Mike's experience is so similar to mine. Why didn't my parent's force them on me then?! We had great insurance, totally ok to go to the appointments! Mike, right there with you!

TheAccounting Chef

I am in the process of changing primary care doctors due to moving, and I am dreading the whole "let's get you weighed" thing so much that honestly, it makes me not want to go at all, but if I don't have the new patient consultation, I won't be able to get in to see someone later when I really need something. I've had doctors talk me into it by saying I can turn around and not look at it, but when I go into my portal to see test results, I get hit with a bold, red (literally bold and in the color red) demerit trying to upsell me on "weight management." Ever since then, as an existing patient, I have been able to push back, but as a new patient I know they are going to insist that they have to "put something."

LAURA D

See I got braces as a kid but that destroyed my gums apparently and now I need gum grafts. Dentistry is a scam (I mean teeth are important, but darn this is getting expensive)

Danielle Mumpower

i LOVED this episode! esp around 12:20 when you two mention toe-ing the line between self-advocacy and compliance, in order to get decent care without seeming difficult. one time i started seeing a psychiatrist bc 1+ yrs of undiagnosed chronic pain was fucking w my head (and less importantly caused weight gain), and the psych recommended weight loss as treatment. for my depression. when i was in too much pain to move. !!!!! i tried to say that she didnt know enough about my eating habits to know if that was a responsible recommendation or not, AND i told her (thanks to listening to you two) that most people who lose weight gain it back so its just not a useful treatment plab anyway and all it will do is keep fat ppl from getting the care we need, and she just completely shut down.

Audra Fitzgerald

In my head I’ve been assuming that the lower life expectancy in Americans is related to violent deaths, suicide, and drug overdoses. But maybe that stuff is accounted for in Michael’s data?

Carly Gove

Oh man, every time I worry about how socially awkward I am I remember the time last year I went to urgent care to find out whether I’d broken something in my hand (I had) and ended up hearing waaay to much about the doctor’s marriage problems.

Bailey

Great episode. As someone who nearly threw hands with a Gyn I feel seen

Home

Gonna go out on a limb and say access to higher quality food (more nutrients including fiber and less pesticides, etc) is also a giant reason for worse health outcomes.

Ami Chambers

I just got over my first case of pink eye (thanks, 10yo son!) and, while I do wish it on my enemies, it was so much worse than I ever imagined it would be.

Ami Chambers

Michael's story about his infection and the doctor's reaction reminded me about the time I went to the doctor with pink eye. I walked in, took my sunglasses off and said "I think I have pink eye" and he pushed WAY back in his office chair and went "EUGHH" LOL. That was the fastest doctor appointment I've EVER had

Kristen Culberson

Oh gosh, i’m excited and a little bit afraid 🙀😂 Thanks for all that you two do! ❤️

Emma Nyberg Feldt