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ALL OF THE THINGS YOU NEED TO FEEL (Erotic Audio Role-play 18+)

Heey... Happy National Hugging Day…

🤗😏🤗😉🤗😌

Did you know this is a thing? 😃

Well just in time - this audio is about comforting you through a time of depression, or at least giving you a bit of relief by being wrestly and physical and sexy with you. 

As a disclaimer, I have to say I’ve been very fortunate to not suffer from any serious or long term depression… but like everyone, I’ve had those days of feeling that purposeless flatness and angst - and like I suggest in the audio - at those times I’ve just wanted desperately to feel something or anything to get me out of my own head for a while.

This audio is me trying to express that desire, rather than offering a serious solution. I'm no therapist! And I do understand that everyone’s experience of depression is unique and this could be an audio you might want to skip, particularly if you’ve suffered clinical depression, or don't like playful roughhousing... 

That said, I think you'll find that emotionally-speaking, it's actually a gentle, caring, and sexy audio despite the themes. 🥰

Virtual hugs all around! 🤗😏🤗😉🤗😌

💜🧔🏻Matthew

ALL OF THE THINGS YOU NEED TO FEEL (Erotic Audio Role-play 18+)

Comments

Greeting and Salutations Towers! Vice President of the OG Bad Bitches Club and 🥵🥵🥵 for once not at work and fully able to enjoy your amazing voice and creative mind and I thank you endlessly for it 😈🖤 now I need to go fan myself to cool down cuz oof But seriously it’s always fabulous to hear your audios and listen to what that brain of yours comes up with for these audios 🖤 keep up the amazing work love! With shaking thighs, Serena 🖤🍩 VPOGBBC

Serena Shadow

Hi Emily - I swear I replied to this much earlier in the day. Yes! Great book! It's a good one for people to spend some with. 👍

Bibi

I read all of the comments and first of all I wanted to say how brave everyone is for sharing their stories. ♥️♥️♥️ Secondly I’d like to recommend a book that really helped me heal from my CPTSD: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My therapist recommended it to me and I recommend it to others any chance I get. https://www.newharbinger.com/9781626251700/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents

Emily Dawn

How did I miss the notif!? M A D 😤 Short and sweet, and getting increasingly needy as it goes on, my fave 😋And uugggh the scritchy-scratchy and the biting 😫 Petition for more of them more often please, ESPECIALLY the biting 🥵 And the orgasm 🥰 nothing behind those eyes, only brain goo. Love that 😚💕

Honey D.A.

Hey Titania! 💜Thanks for the comment and for encouraging me to be more relaxed and in the moment when recording... 🥵😅 And also big thanks for your input in the threads above. I sometimes forget to mention that when I'm talking about some kinks that I'm talking about my fantasy of them rather than real practice, so it's been amazing to hear you talking from a place of experience. Hugs! 🤗🤗🤗

Matthew Tower

Please do... 🥺 And see ⬇️ xx

Matthew Tower

🎶😌🎶LDR4Eva

Matthew Tower

💜I got the heart, thanks Ann! And yes, I still have a day-job (which has fortunately been pretty flexible) so I won't be able to do much else right now, but I am going to have some professionally-run social media accounts from next week - Twitter, FB, Insta. But I won't be on them much, if at all. I'll explain next week, but, despite the trickiness and glitches of this forum, I think this is still be best place to be! xx

Matthew Tower

💜Hey K! Glad you enjoyed the not so tender TLC! 😁 And yes - so many experiences to read and learn from on….😌 I sometimes imagine a guidebook to sexuality we could write as a collective would be amazing.. 😘

Matthew Tower

Matthew - I love this audio!  I certainly understand needing to turn body input up to 11 to turn down the mind swirlies. Yes to all the sensations everywhere! If this were me, I could see how the gentle patter of your narration would be reassuring and help cut through the fog.  The biting is also swoon-worthy.  Your breath sounds during orgasm are so hot in this one. I know I keep saying that. 😅😊 It's just that I think I've found my new favorite thing since you've been more free with them lately.  💖 Thank you for reminding me of reasons to be happy to be alive. 💙💚💛

Titania

Belles, Beaus, and Esteemed Members of the Court: Someone said to me the other day,  "Life just keeps on being so very...life-y." Reading this amazing comment section the past couple days, I see struggle, but also resilience and strength and beauty of spirit.  I haven't quite figured out how to interact with the wall of text - there's so much here it's overwhelming to me - so I just wanted to say that I've got you all pictured in my mind's eye as a glowing network of 💜s and ✨s stretching across the globe, and I'm sending love to you all, for all this life-y life.  I'm going to try an experiment tomorrow with loving-kindness meditation and wrap you all in.  We'll see what happens.  🤷‍♀️💙💚💛

Titania

https://youtu.be/8WyPWYzmQro 💙 What if someone had asked Picasso not to be sad? Never known who he was Or the man he'd become There would be no blue period Let me run with the wolves Let me do what I do Let me show you how sadness can turn into happiness I can turn blue into something Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful like you 💙

Emily Dawn

This probably isn’t necessary to post, but I am going to lock myself out of my app till Tuesday. You all are so amazing and I’m so grateful for your vulnerability and honesty. Reflecting on your shares and conversations has just stirred up some shit I am not ready to deal with and I just keep ending back on here wishing for something to make me feel better… So im going to eat some ice cream, hug my dog, take a really long shower, and then idk. I love you all.

Katie

This place really is a community and I LOVE IT. I remember when it was under 100 and now in less than a year it has reached over 500. It is a true testament to Matthews artistry and all around amazingness (sexy voice included omg yes included). As it gets bigger and real cool and fun ideas come up I would like (gosh I feel like a cold wet blanket) to just have everyone remember that unless something has changed, this is not Matthews only job. It is great idea to implement new ideas and I am more than willing to help where I can but I kind of feel that with all the emotion [read love and vulnerability] this weekend things can grow huge. I just don't want to overwhelm the system I guess. Just my thoughts. <3 That is the best heart I can do on my computer. You all really are great!

Ann

There was a time when all I could think was ouch, that time has since passed🤣

Venusinaphrodite_

Yay for the 🐱slaps! 😏❤️

lace

Yes ma’am 😏

Double LL

The best way to start the day is with a smile. 😃. I’m gonna leave this right here my tower friends … 😘 https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdh1fE7n/

Double LL

Aww… love the sweet approach you took in honing in on purposeful TLC to helping someone going through this state be in the moment… to sit in each play by play… and just FEEL… taking the mind away from those dark distractors… to a place where they just fuck those ferocious fiends away… How could anyone not be in the moment listening to your voice… your descriptions… your ministrations… the sounds coming from their own bodies… the sounds coming from that mouth… and your body (those beard scritches are the loudest they’ve ever been 🙂)… Chin into shoulder muscles 😍… love reminders of all the textures we can explore on our bodies… 12:56 - that pop ❕ 🙂 13:46 - 13:54 - *mouth jut* aww Matthew… vulnerability new level… G** I just wanna hold you… 🤗 At the start you reminded me of the post orgasmic clearing of my sinuses I’d experience when I had the cold. 🙂 I’m reminded of moments I’ve listened to people just let go and talk about their mental health… some reflecting on their moments of depression… I’m sure the comments here will reveal a whole range of experiences and the impact this one had in re-awakening… bringing more realisations… quelling insecurities/fears… reinvigorating sense of self and empowerment to continue journeys… ✨ Cheers to all that ✨ 💛😘💜 P.S. And HUGS to everyone. 🙃

FFSWhatudoin2me (K)

Trying again. This time I think I've erased references to my age . Matthew, it's the next day now, I've read most of the comments, & I have more perspective on your brilliance & of what you've done in this audio. I've already told you that it's your artistry & the expression of it that just does it for me. Two things - first this, then on to depression. With this, you’ve messaged my body that not only is it ok, it is the key to my being here at all - to embrace, & just relax into my super crazy high horny awareness that’s been with me at least since I was [young]. Case in point: I stole my mother’s lipstick in [] grade, then got to school, went into the girls’ bathroom, & applied it like a pro (weird, because my Mom hardly ever wore it). I blotted it in layers, knowing somehow how to do an alluring stain (one of my clues that I’ve been a Babylonian courtesan more than once). I was early, so I went outside, & waited for my crush, Marty. It was spring, the earth smelled loamy, & I stepped up on the fence, kind of swinging on it. I felt exceptionally pretty, & thoughts of Marty were colors that were swirling all through my body like boiling honey with an almost unbearable sweetness. It was originating from my lower belly and that [younger] old me was lit up. Marty & I had a ‘thing’. We lived close to each other, & expressed our delight in one another by playing doctor, until his Mom discovered us). LOL He really Dom’d it big-time, because he always insisted he was the doctor, lol (I got my lovely stething/heartbeat fetish from him, I’m sure of it). 😊 Marty’s parents sent him away to boarding school 3 years later, & I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. I married, had two children, divorced, & then got diagnosed with breast cancer. The radiologist recommended two oncologists, & lo & behold, one of the names was his. WTF? I called the number & was told he had a 5 month waiting list. I said, “Please tell him that if this is the same Marty who played with Bibi all those years ago, tell him she needs him.” He called me back not 5 minutes later, and said, “Well, well, well. Here we are again, little girl (I know!), and you need to come in right away.” Told you my life is wack-a-doodle. He took care of me. We remembered our doctor play, & boy, did we have fun in that first assessment visit. He knew I was terrified, & he just stepped up with his sexy, expert self & by the time I left that first visit, I was feeling powerful. I was feeling so sexy, and I knew I’d make it. I need to write this story. I think he was rather like you, in that he desired to heal, &, at least with me, it expressed through sexual body awareness. You just get that. I really need this now. I'm not deeply depressed - yet - but my adult daughter has schizoaffective disorder & needs me to care for her, & now my partner has a clinical depression - so I'm care-taking two of my most beloveds. It’s been challenging & lonely. Mother love and its anguish, & now T & I haven't been able to have sex in over 2 years because the illness & meds took it away from him (it's so bad that he'll go right back in the hospital if he goes off them - happened twice). He’s the captain of my heart & I’m staying.. What does matter is that my sexy constantly horny inner goddess has been pouting & sulking, & it took me finding you to even own up to it. I’ll probably be going to sleep with this for awhile. I’m a control freak, I’m very bossy, & if I am myself on the verge of a deeper depression, then I NEED this kind of treatment. Much gratitude & love, dear Matthew. P.S. I hope you got my new story

Bibi

Ahhh Bibi! I'm not sure if it's a mod issue, or Patreon tech issue with the amount of comments we post, but some weird vanishing acts happen! I think it might be a tech issue in that when two of us post at the exact same moment, one of the comments disappears. But I'm not sure. Often if my internet or mobile data is slow, when I post a comment it gets duplicated for some reason. We also wondered if using terms like 'ch*ld' or 'k*d' are banned by moderators on 18+ accounts. But many have found that it's best to write a comment in the Notes app and paste it across just in case the internet fairy whisks it away. xx

Matthew Tower

Hi Bibi! I'm on mac and haven't had any issues with those browsers in the past, but I happen to be using Opera right now. Maybe worth a go?

Matthew Tower

vulnerability hangover

Matthew Tower

Hey all! I'm still reading through the comments and I'm just feeling so incredibly grateful for everyone. Well - beyond grateful. I love you ALL beyond words. It’s mind and heart blowing the way everyone is able to tell very sensitive truths and also joke and be a little raunchy and be so damned supportive all in the same space. Anyway, I just wanted to say apropos of nothing, I’m really feeling in love with you all today. Really really really. 😌 Sorry, if I’m blathering. I haven’t really slept over the last couple of nights. (I’m all good though, and I feel like I’ll crash tonight at last). But last night I had a little tangential thought. I sometimes wonder what it is like to be a new Belle/Beau/Member of the Court and whether it feels difficult to join the conversations, because there is a history of running jokes and ideas which chatting naturally creates. So I was wondering if it would help people to feel more included by sending a funny little ‘Welcome pack’ link. If anyone has any thoughts on this or what it was like when you first joined, I’d really really value hearing them! (One thing I thought it could have in it is a glossary of terms we sometimes use, or concepts we’ve discussed… Like for example: -“Sexy world.” / (or jokingly “Fuck club”) - The metaphorical space we create in our minds when creating the audio experience together - especially the more personal and meta audios. -Belles, Beaux and members of the court. Supporters of the page who identify as female, male, or non-binary. -“Moby” - Matt’s member, named due to the way he surfaces and lolls about in the bath. -“Hugs and snugs” - sending love and mentally envisaged cuddles. -“Kilig” a feeling of exhilaration or elation caused by an exciting or romantic experience (Tagalog) -“Limerence” - a state of infatuation that involves intrusive thoughts I know there are some other concepts we’ve discussed which haven’t sprung to mind yet too... Would this even be helpful or would it make us seem cliquey? Love, M

Matthew Tower

To everyone who replied in the most welcoming, kind, and funny ways, I just want to give y'all a hug! I left a few comments, but I'm only seeing one now. Here's some hugs and love 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Bibi

You sneaky devil lol I’m always happy to contribute😁

Venusinaphrodite_

Quick question - I've tried to get all of the comments. Unfortunately, whether it be Chrome or Safari, mobile or laptop, or the app, I'm not getting everything. I'd love to read everyone's comments. and.... aaarrrghhhh! If anyone knows of a tip or two, please advise. Thank you!

Bibi

Look at you go little sister😘

Venusinaphrodite_

Hugs, Niamh!! 💜Nice to hear you're in a good space!! 😘

Matthew Tower

Yow. I just heard it in my head now, Elo, 💜and now it's my turn to get a hot flush... 🥵 xx

Matthew Tower

Moving on to the next contestant! I’m sure you’re gonna have more lined up around the block. ❤️

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

To my girlies AND SPECIFICALLY KELLY—that update u requested lmao WELP IT ENDED BEFORE IT STARTED BESTIE

Tara Davenport

Matt, you must be heaven sent 😌 It's not as bad as before, but I still unknowingly at times dissociate and when that happens I'm never aware of my physical body. I could be looking at my hand and not really feel like it's there, or mine. Then I have to force myself to reach out even if it's the hardest and most uncomfortable thing to do. Throughout last year I realized that isolating myself makes it so much worse. It's such a deep pain wanting to be seen but also being terrified of it. The other day, when I felt particularly hopeless, instead of keeping to myself I talked to a friend. Her just being there made a huge difference. Your audio comes like a confirmation to me that yes, healing comes from within but nobody's an island, we need each other to complete the process. Just half a year ago, I'd probably refuse touch as a way of being comforted. I could give such comfort to others but receiving it was a different story. It almost made me feel panicked because of how vulnerable I'd get while being held. That's completely different now though. Now I understand how important touch is, especially if I'm dissociating. Obviously, I can't actually feel being touched through an audio but you make it so immersive and genuine, plus the sound vibrations haha, I can still feel it regardless. There's an expression in Croatian we use that basically translates to "you bit my heart". We say it to someone who really touched us, peered into the deepest parts of us. Even left us feeling a little uncomfortable because of how intimate it is. I don't feel that discomfort, just happy. Matt, you bit my heart ☺️ Words can't convey how I feel, but a massive thanks to all of you who share so openly and bravely. The good, the bad, the funny, the ugly and the beautiful. I'm happy and grateful our paths crossed and I get to know parts of your stories. Matt, of course that includes you too. Hugs for all! Everyday is a hug day 🤗💜 p.s. took a while for my thighs to stop shaking 😆😍 that was definitely something 🙈

Katja

I’m sorry. I have to. 😆 https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Freel%2FCYukS7WqkNa%2F&h=AT3Ss_h4cTEaTBQXhez3cvJiLk7zT-3XV6oh8uOPXtQC0fXAuuxDY1QqhnqPngvAM8OsbqX0Dvi-gfrirBi2uuKJcb6oWql0JHJkNiegXSJ2n6_leMtNhvDcHS2v&s=1

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Oh yes! You DID experience. 🤗

Bibi

Katie 🩹 for your paper cuts and a 🫂 for the soul. But please no shame, I know that it's easier for me to say to someone than that you have to turn of a feeling. And accepting is a damn hard thing to do. Dont know about you but for me that means, that i have to let go of things from the past and acknowledge the situation I am in now and the person I have become. The letting go part is hard because to let go of things where you already put in so much time ( could be years) and energie in can feel like a big waste of worthless time then. and is frustrating that things still don't go how you want it to go. And those are already non fun feelings but in that proces it can bring up mire bad feelings like failure because why is it stil not working? And the acknowledge part is also not easy. It can feel as standing in front of the mirror while truly look at yourself. And after that how to move on? Everything will be new than. While before accepting, even when it wasn't always nice, it's a familiar surrounding and offers some kind of safety because we already made some survival skills in there. Nobody likes it to suddenly change ways and have to stand at the beginning again to make that inner space a safe space again. So no shame and be proud that you are working on it! These things takes time and every stap you make, no matter how small it feels, is a big step forward 🐮🐈‍⬛🦥🐿🦦🦙🐈🐕🐳 Just some cute animals for nice feels

NeonVall

D, I loved the stop thinking bit too. I took it as “stop thinking about everything else happening in your life, just feel this intense pleasure that I’m giving you.” But the human mind is of course going to give everyone a different reaction, which I appreciate. All love and hugs to you 🤗

rebecca

Rebecca I am responding to your query on my post. I would like to put in all sorts of emoji but I am typing on my computer so I will just let you know [insert: Heart] when I am putting one in. ;)

Ann

I was all set to keep it short, funny and sexy yesterday after I, what did Katie say the other week, have a vulnerability hangover. Then I saw the “theme” of this audio and said to myself, “Keep it to yourself. Don’t show yourself too much.” But now I’m reading all these comments and conversations and I’m crying happy tears at the immense honesty, vulnerability, and most of all (selfishly?) how much I know and feel and vigorously get all too well. And that there’s this incredible community that I’ve only been in for a few weeks but it feels like something I’ve needed in my life so badly and absolutely didn’t know I needed at all. You’re all so beautiful and smart and sweet and honest and real and funny and so soulful. So in the hopes of trying to be a little more like you all, I’ll say that I’ve had diagnosed clinical depression and have been on anti-depressants for close to twenty years. It is part of who I am, I know I’ll always have it deep down, and that doesn’t upset me anymore. But I am just starting to realize I finally want off of anti-depressants for a few reasons. And so my bit of honest contribution here is that I wouldn’t be alive without anti-depressants and now I desperately want to live without anti-depressants. But I’m so scared of both the withdrawal and the fact that maybe I can’t actually live without them. But I want to so badly and it’s breaking my heart. I can’t believe I came here because I was horny and now I’m talking about things I’ve never talked about with anyone else 😭 Fuckin’ hell 😂

rebecca

Well, geez! Since I listened and started reading comments, my brain has been in a swirly twirly state! Matthew, the intimacy of this and all the new touches and sounds are so amazing. I love getting tingles just from your suggestions of biting my neck or kissing my ear. The back and forth from mouth to c0ck was the perfect tension build up, I was so ready to cum with you. It’s been a while since I’ve had a full body trembling orgasm (and I listen twice so I got 2) and fuckkkkkkk. It was so good. I love listening to you cumming differently too. It’s nice to think the metaphorical collective fantasy pvssy still has more to offer you as well! I don’t even think I can comment on context right now, and I’m kinda surprised with myself, because I haven’t been one to shut down here. My mental health struggle has been my entire life and when it comes specifically to the conversation of depression, I still carry a lot of shame and frustration. Especially being in the middle of a season of healing myself. It really does feel like alcohol on paper cuts and the sting will go away, but I guess there are still things I haven’t accepted and it’s hard for me to share… without humor, sarcasm or blatant self degrading, which are habits I am trying to stop. The one idea I will pose since I haven’t seen it brought up, is the entire concept of being in a relationship with someone dealing with depression. That’s an idea I have struggled with for (idk what year is it now?) 12 years? Like the thought I have a lot is something like, why would I ever want to love someone who loves me as I am now? When the evil perfectionist comes out! And I know of the rational to counter act that thought, but knowing and believing are 2 different things. It’s a process. So I think there is a lot of healing I can find in this audio just from exposure besides the O! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Katie

oh well, oh well.... need to write something but don't know what! finding words and make sentences.. pff too hard! brain no working after listning .. was the goal right? But let's try I just love the (caring)dom in you. Explaining the reason why you want to do it this way, feet bound, hands above the head you on top... and now I feel my heart start racing again🙄💗. But just go and spank around and make those nerves tingle! Ahh and a beard schratching!😊🤤 after hands being held, there was probably an itch somewhere, cause that is one of those things that always happens when you can't move. So thanks for the scratch!😉. oww and the sound of that and than the ear biting and the entire time you hear the sheets ruffling sounds that makes the experience compleet. Feels like you're leveling up in the sound department! And how can you control yourself? to stop mid fckng? to much feels down below man!🥵🥵 But thank you so much for that! 🤗😘 it was one hot mess to visualise 💦💦🎇🎆 Need to find myself something to cool down again 🧊🧊🥶 If this keeps up i need to find a training program: how to keep the pussy tight but open. Does anyone already know one??? Just wondering.. what was exactly that plopping sound? hands on tits face cheekbones moment? i cant place it😅 But in the end a happy ending for us both. And worth the wait! Happy to be alive! Here you get another cuddle 💜🤗

NeonVall

Back at ya, Line 😘…Gunning for the big screen 😂🤣😂

Double LL

Belles... my heart has been pulled a million different directions reading all your stories and comments. I feel you all deeply. Man depression is so complex. There's no one answer, no one treatment modality. Keep fighting the good fight to be present, in the moment, and moving forward where you can. Matthew, thank you for the hug! Perfect timing. I missed out on National Hugging Day as my somewhat new significant other tested positive and so he is in isolation and I'm back in quarantine. 💁‍♀️ It's all good as long as we're both in the clear in time for our Birthdays and Valentines Day. Lots to celebrate in that 7 day stretch and man...a truly good hug is no joke. It's funny I tend to listen through three different lenses now. The creative, artistic, fun... what do I see and feel through your eyes. The collective... how has it moved and touched others. My own story. I love that truth can be held in all three views simultaneously. Life's funny that way. I love the care with which you craft. In all the kinks, the characters and situations, there is a thread of compassion, care, and humanity. I shouldn't be surprised by this. It's so much a piece of who you are and how you conduct yourself in interactions. It can be surprising in the ways and unexpected places it shines through. My own story hasn't included depression in the clinical sense. Times when I've felt down have literally been when feelings were being depressed or pushed down so I didn't have to feel them or experience something. What resonated more for me was the sense of dissociation. I'm an expert at staying locked in my mind and not feeling in my body. Violent sexual trauma builds that survival skill. So for me, I could appreciate the call to stop thinking. Stop thinking and come into the present with feeling. My story doesn't lend itself well to the slapping bit, but I can see what you were aiming for. The gentler approach of touch and sensation in torture lockdown (ironically more restrictive) clicked more for me. The sentiment though of someone who loves you pulling you from the often extreme grip of your thoughts into a safe space to be present and feel... not just the pain but the pleasure and love and realness of a tender or passionate moment. Man, that's beautiful, Matt. Truly. 💜🤗😘

D

In Boston!! Guys I’m taking you with me to the game…..Go Bruins!! 😘 https://ibb.co/StfSsSW

Double LL

Oh Vanessa 😔 I feel you on this song by H.E.R. She's such an amazing artist. I have been feeling like 💩 for a few days too. But this morning I woke up feeling so much better knowing that I am alive, I am able to see my children and loved ones, you Belles 💕, and just grateful for where I am in my life currently. I have experienced over my life bouts of severe depression, went to Therapy and found the tools to get over my circumstances. I realized recently I was handled without care in points of my life but that's the past and I am not looking back. I exist in the present, my past holds no power over my life now. If we keep feeding our insecurities, we keep giving it life. So I choose to starve anything that is not useful or fruitful to my life until it dies or gets the point that you no longer serve a purpose in my life anymore. Ladies and gents please....I will continue to say this till I am blue or purple in the face...KNOW YOUR WORTH!! Be gentle with yourself on days you feel like crap, rest, drink water, do deep breath work, sit in silence, calm the noise that echoes in your head,read a book, obtain knowledge on how to improve yourself, go for a walk outside (my goodness it does so much for you!),CRY, scream if you have too to release stress or anxiety, take a hot bath, and literally just BE. We are not perfect. Just exist in the place you're at now and just live in your best reality right now. Also my new thing I learned recently is saying every morning "Universe - surprise and delight me today. With no expectations of any outcomes, just surprise and delight me" and then LET IT GO! Watch and see what miracles happen in your day! Super hugs to you Vanessa and everyone else.

Pisces Queen

I'm just gonna leave this right here. It's fitting for me & somehow seems appropriate for this week's audio. & situation. https://youtu.be/ltLFS4DccA0

VANESSA

Matthew I loved this audio. You are a pretty awesome guy 🤗💜 Truly

Ann

My name is Ann and I have been diagnosed with clinical depression (a couple other things as well but they just add flavor to the cocktail) I am also happy to report that after 14 years on pharmaceuticals I titrated off meds in 2004 or 2006 ( 🤷🏻‍♀️). The meds helped and I raised my two children, completed a degree I also never cried, slept all the time but not well, and lost my eidetic memory for numbers. I chose to get off medication because I felt I was missing out on a lot due to the numbness. I will never go back in medication. I have a good therapist and other tools. I will say that masturbation one of those tools. This audio mentions clarity after orgasm. Orgasm are a powerful pressure release which can really help remove stress or tension vision so things are clearer or maybe more manageable. I used to think that all Os were the same. They weren’t fun just what I did to relieves pressure or emotion. Some days I would masturbate 4 or 5 times a day. It wasn’t because I was horny or even aroused. This past year here I have discovered that there is so much more and it feels good in so many different ways and with these audios and toys they are fun. Now I can get aroused for fun and it is sad that I had to kind of learn how but it’s pretty cool. Anyway I still cry a lot and can feel flatter than a pancake but I am in a good space and I am happy. I work hard at it and it isn’t easy at all but it is very much worth trying. I am proud of ALL of you for pushing on from whatever you are pushing on from, be it depression PTSD illness anxiety crappy job, whatever. You are doing it and that is wonderful. 💜 Hugs to all! The stingy hug person has opened the vault virtually at least 😉 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Ann

Perfect 🤗

Ann

🤗. I am happy you are here.

Ann

Gonna hang on and listen to this one on one of the really bad days, many hugs to Matt and the belles x💜

Niamh

just finish off with you and totally blush now🍎🔥I almost lost my mind when I cum🤯👅💦thanks…I hope no one have heard my moan but you sir😉🤭

Elo

I am inspired to write a really luscious piece of erotica, in honor of Matthew, and this group. I've only been here a short time, but I find that I come here everyday. I keep coming back to a powerful sense of being with - so difficult to express - 'tribe' comes closest. I'm clairaudient, and I know things when they come into my ears. I know things about Matthew and the Tribe. It comes in colors and shockwaves. I also have synesthesia - I am a synesthete! -The two 'gifts', strange and wonderful both, flow and roll and combine with each other, where I really can't separate them. This sound vibration is red, purple, green, and gold and it has its own musical score. Actually, that would probably be Matthew's voice print combined with his soul signature and his wide open sexual heart. Synesthesia is kind of wild (I used to think everyone experienced words and numbers as vibrating and pulsing colors). Anyway, I'm inspired to write, and it'll probably be a true tale from my wild and juicy life. Please know that I've been a writer for - a long time. I only started writing erotica after hearing Matthew a few times. This will be an ode to what I think of as 'My Tribe'. 💗💗💗

Bibi

https://ibb.co/YtcMh9W We love you Matt💜🧔😂

Dawn

Hey Indy!! Thank you for that very constructive criticism!! When I was saying ‘don’t think’ I was more meaning - please return to your body and let go of the negative thinking for a moment, rather than ‘become a mindless object for me to use’! 😅 But yes, I totally agree with the error of the way I articulated it. It’s a case of when spoonfeeding the obvious bites back. I didn’t need to be so reassuring because presumably (and in my head) we had an understanding about what was happening. But it’s a limitation of the genre in that I have to explain what’s happening in situ! I guess though that I could have started with a conversation about what was going to occur and implied somehow that you were asking me to do it, rather than launching straight in. But you make a very very good point - and next time I’ll have the memory of that point to work with. So massive thanks!! xx

Matthew Tower

PQ! 💜 Glad to hear from you! I hope you’re doing better now and yes to just being grateful for the basics huh. Here I am mentally imagining that hug. I’m even making the squeezing sound. 🙄😅 🤗xx

Matthew Tower

🥺🥺🥺 *Squeeeee* Yeah, you nailed the description. Everything and nothing, spaciness, forgetfulness. Bitches with auditory processing issues… it’s me. I’m bitches. Add irritability and literally crying over spilled milk and you got my depression to a T. Things scientifically proven to help with depression; fur babies 🐀🐀🐀🐕 ✅, medication (under the supervision of a doctor of course)💊 ✅, talk therapy (still trying to find one that works with my insurance again 😬)❌, and ✨org@sms✨✅! Ugh, I’m gonna melt with that caring dom stuff. Like “pleasure spiked with pain”. Rubbies, kisses, and spanks! Hurt me, but in a sweet way. 🥰 Honestly, I wouldn’t know or care if I never existed, and sometimes I just think “two idiots had s€x in the ‘90s and now I gotta clean, pay rent, and feed myself. Shit”. Thanks for being one of the people who reminds me that existing can sometimes be pretty cool. That, and just being your awesome, sexy self. 😙

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

I think what you’re describing with “leaving your body” might be dissociation. I get that sometimes too. It’s a mind’s self-defense mechanism and it can be pretty terrifying. Grounding techniques like concentrating on what is physically around you can be helpful to ride it out. A therapist also taught me a little trick for when I got self-harm urges. You put a hair-tie around your wrist and snap it gently. It hurts just enough to bring you into reality, but doesn’t cause damage. Just remember it’s ok to not be ok, and let yourself feel what you need to. And of course you’re never alone in feeling these things. ❤️

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Ich sage! 💜 And best this whole year!! I guess it’s in contention for the Emmi award! 🏆😁😉😘xx

Matthew Tower

It’s a good song! now I have the urge to cry into my bath water😂😂😂

Venusinaphrodite_

🤗🤗🤗 Hugs and snugs! Sucks to that last one and the frustration, but it sounds like you’ve been a little better overall huh? Here is a recent song I love about that last feeling exactly, which is depressing and probably no use: 😂 xx https://youtu.be/Vlkq53sK2co

Matthew Tower

Timezones...soo weird 😱😱😱It's like 03:00 am here.😅 There is this story/saying about a red thread of fate. Ofcours most storied end in marriage.. but if you leave that out it's a nice thing to think about. to think that somehow we are al connected and meant to meet each other. And because of the red threads, you will see during sunset the color red the longest. That's because these threads are there just connecting. (even if its in some random guy patreon.... am I allowed to just say random ?🙊 ) Your pic just made me think about it again. 🙃 Enjoy your cocktail! Curios if you will talk Russian again while watching sports.😅🤣🤣 Enjoy or good luck with the 3T time

NeonVall

It’s not even 8 pm yet or 16:00 for global consideration. So I’ve got like 3-4 more hours before alone time (unless I fall asleep then it will be 6-8 hours until my scheduled Tower Touchy Time [™️ TBD]) So, I am very much looking forward to this and don’t want to see any spoilers or I would be chatting away. Instead I just wanted to say hello to you all and let you know I am watching hockey, and I do have a cocktail…😂🪆🤦‍♀️ Also, this was the sky driving home tonight. I was driving East so the sun was setting behind me. It felt very metaphorical. Like most would be in awe watching the sunset, but think if you never turned around to see this. Idk, just finding little moments of gratitude. 😋🤗 https://ibb.co/23Qh3XX Thanks for being my Friday night 💕💕

Katie

Damn. Ok. I have a lot of thoughts on this. Your base premise is freaking spot on and I absolutely love it. I have had many conversations with therapists over the years about reconnecting with my body when my mind is out of sorts. Yoga, running, masturbation, are all great ways to bring your consciousness to the present moment and focus on what you’re physically feeling rather than emotionally feeling. I have used your audios many times to do just that. However, I’m not sure how I feel about bringing another person into this practice and I really don’t know how I would react to someone else taking over how I connect with my own body. I can potentially see it happening, but there would need to be a pretty constant flow of communication between us. The number of times you said “don’t think” felt like you were removing my agency from being part of something that is supposed to be for my benefit. We’ve talked about how good you are at conveying consent when these audios only have one side of a conversation and I feel like this time my consent was missing. This is hard for me to say because, again, I liked all the things you were doing and I agree with the reasoning behind your motivation. I even liked the light slaps. It makes me think of when a person hits their elbow on something and then rubs the area to soothe the pain. Your slaps were like a whole-body version of that. The repeated sentiment of “I’m doing this for you” is where I get hung up. How are you imagining my reaction that you feel the need to say that? Am I grimacing? Am I dead silent? I must not be moaning enthusiastically if you think I need to be reminded that you won’t hurt me. Maybe this is just a small stylist choice that I’m giving undue attention. Please accept an uncomfortably long hug from me for National Hugging Day and know I love you no matter what.

IndyJane

Hey MT 🧔🏻 - Thank you So much better 😭😭😭. I'm so grateful for this. I missed ya'll. There's so much to say. Everything was perfect and that release was celestial. I am going to listen to this a few more times. Awww man do I need a hug this week 😞. Just grateful to be alive. Grateful for my family and grateful for everything I have. Grateful for you lovelies, my soul tribe of beautiful divine feminines from around the globe. Just been unpacking old traumas and removing them out of my life. It's been a rough few days but I am just so thankful for everyone. 😭😭😭

Pisces Queen

I've been pretty open about my struggle with clinical depression. I was diagnosed at fourteen and have regular periods of deep depression that is only managed through medication and therapies designed to alter patterns of thinking. It's a diagnosis I'll be carrying with me for the rest of my life. The fact that's the way it is doesn't bother all that much and even dark days now are a bit brighter than what they once were. Even so, when depression overcomes my head the worst of the symptoms is profound emptiness. I feel as though I've left my body--now a hollow shell of myself--and the façade of a conscious behind. I'm not aware of myself during these moments. It's honestly terrifying and one of the most dreadful sensations to overtake my mind and body. The ability to feel anything is stripped way--physical or emotional. That loss of feeling is why some, or at least, why I turned to self harm for many years. Something always feels better than nothing, even if that something is painful. I think it's interesting that you managed to tap into that. I don't know your history with self harm but one of the reasons for its unfortunate prevalence is that it forces the mind to return to the body. The slaps and smacks you deliver are oddly reminiscent of old habits I had, trying to keep my head with me as it was fighting to go. Re-contextualized as something sexual and borderline nurturing was kind of a trip. Like I said, you honed in on one of the more drastic affects of depression yet handled it with gentleness. I honestly didn't think I'd like it as much as I did. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention anything about how sexy this audio is. Your breaths ranging from delicate to heaving, tone bordering on desperation, taking control of the scene and not having it focus on you. I mean holy fuck, just, "I'm going to lick it, and suck it, and slap it, and kiss it, and fuck it a little, and lick and slap and fuck it some more" almost sent me flying over the edge. "Stop thinking and fuck me" actually did. It's always been such a turn on to hear partners sound like they're struggling to keep full control of themselves. The vocal buildup to your orgasm was absolutely divine. Hell, it kind of bordered on what I think you'd sound like begging....fuck me running I've got to get the image of you on your knees out of my head or it's never going away. That can be a problem for another day though. These extended, "winding down" endings are wonderful. This one however almost broke me. I use to pride myself on having pretty thick skin, keeping "my tears in my eyes, where they belong" as my grandfather would say. I'm still learning to be okay with such displays but for such a gentle moment, I'll allow it. Thank you, Matt💜

Kris

Ahhh Balsam für die Seele 🥰 In my opinion your best audio so far this year! That sounded like a really intense orgasm there 😰 the whimpering and heavy breathing ugh 😭 My heart wasn’t the only thing that tingled 🙊❤️‍🩹

Emmi

It’s funny the timing of things. Last night I was going back and forth with listening to the sleep audio but was being stubborn because I was like it can’t be a crutch. I ended up having my first nightmare in a good couple weeks. You hit that point where you wanna tell yourself just knock it off already. Everything otherwise has been good, but I always refer to going through the motions and then having to interact as using your customer service voice. I don’t have the energy for anything more but I will gladly accept the snuggles.

Venusinaphrodite_

💜

Matthew Tower

💜

Ann

You’re so welcome Kristy! 💜

Matthew Tower

Totally. It’s complicated by the type and severity and the way an individual expresses it. Good luck with the HW!

Matthew Tower

All of this! You said it perfectly!

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

That’s so funny! I’m the same way though, I love my Tower and Tacos Tuesdays and my “fun for me” Friday’s lmao 🤣 Hope your treatments are going as well as they can be! ❤️

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Sneak hug! 🫂🤗 *comes dashing over and wraps my arms and legs around you for an intense hug* Will let you know what I think tomorrow.. babysitting my godchild and any moment my sister-in-law will come back from work and I stay over tonight. In the same room as her.. so it's going to be a bit difficult to fully enjoy this and have my complete attention what all your masterpieces deserve. sigh, please universe give me the willpower and strength for once to persevere.🙏🌌 .. and here I go almost pressing play and already feel that i'm about to give in.. But I can already say. My big compliments on the subject. And I don't mean that more attention should be paid to National Hug Day, because it should. But to talk about depression. Depression is difficult to heal from and these covid times are certainly not helping. So its a brave opening from you that you told us you have experience in this department. Lots of people are afraid to talk about it for different reasons like shame, fear, judgement, that they are the only one in their area or that no-one will understand. But talking helps! The more people dare to talk about it, the more everyone sees that many others also have experience in this area and sometimes even have the same way of thinking. And knowing that you are not alone, to feel connected and to find others who understand you already does so much! Especially if the environment you're already in don't understand depression. I think we as humanity have forgotten somewhere over the years what it is like to really talk and listen to each other. performance and the associated behavior are so much more in the foreground these days, society runs on it... You can quickly feel like an outsider than if you can't deliver what is expected. And let alone if you're just living a life! Personal experiences also influence this of course, but unfortunately is there not enough place gor this in the picture of performance. So here's a shout-out to everyone that has find the courage in them to speak about their depression. It's a verry big and hard step to do when you're stuck in a cold and dark place. Don't let anyone tell you you're weak! Because your not. for those who are still trying to find their way. I hope that day comes soon for you too. One day and step at a time. Hope you find the things that helps you and the persons you can connect with. Hugs for everyone!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 ... sorry for long tekst 😅

NeonVall

Thank you.

Kristy Mystery

💜And thank you my sexy friend! 🤗 Now I’m wishing I’d tidied my goddamn beard before I took those shots 🧔🏻 😑 Not that it’s gonna matter much after you’ve been sitting on my face 😂🤣😂xx

Matthew Tower

This is actually ironic because me and a friend JUST (and I mean like a half hour ago) had this huge discussion about our struggles with depression and how our families usually brush it off or don’t acknowledge the struggle because we happen to function highly even when we feel our lowest, and there’s this misconception that depression is the same for everyone and everyone gets immobilized in the same way—therefore if you happen to maintain straight A’s or a healthy routine then you can’t be depressed…absolutely incorrect lmao. I’ll end my lil psychology rant there—ANYWAYS…excuse me while I try to complete my computer science AND music theory hw in warp speed time so I can listen to this 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️💨

Tara Davenport

💜🤗 And I might sneak a smooch in… 😜😘

Matthew Tower

Oh Bestie this is perfect! For me when I’m stressed sometimes I just want to be touched. Nothing sexually, just a hug or be petted or head scratches. Part of the reason during my treatments, I get massages every now and then. What can I say for a person whose love language is touch. 😉 So I have a story for you guys that you all are going to love. Today was a check up and blood labs so 3 nurses are at my house. Female Nurse 1: Hey Dee why are you so happy? Me: You think I’m happy? Well I am and tired but yea it’s been a good day. Female Nurse 2: So what’s got you so happy. Male Nurse: Oh I know why she’s happy! All: Why Male Nurse: Because it’s Matthew Day! Me: Matthew Day!? Female Nurse 1: Oh right! Female Nurse 2: Yea I’ve noticed she’s always happy on Tuesdays and Fridays. Male Nurse: Yea it’s because Matthew is the C@&k Master! Me: (laughing) The what!?! Male Nurse: You heard me. He’s the reason why your pulse and BP are always high when we come over. 🤣🤣🤣 Gotta love my team! They do say hello to everyone by the way! 💜💜

Deanna Tyson

So how much of a freak do I sound like if I say…. Matthew, that was hands down my most favorite orgasm I’ve ever heard you have 🥵🤤… soooo visceral… I’m in knots over here….. And the neck kisses were so hot. Having now seen your beard and tongue 👅… whole other layer of imagery and fantasy. Thank-you my very sexy friend for allllll you do! Hugs 🤗

Double LL

Haven’t had a listen yet, but yay for hug day! Hugs are the best. **offers warm hugs to all the belles and beaux and Matthews that want one** 🤗💜

Jennifer

Is it!!?? 😲 I didn’t know!! 🎉 Double celebration!! Is this the best world day of the year?? 😂 💜

Matthew Tower

😂 Maybe you subliminally influenced me. 🚌 beep beep… xx

Matthew Tower

It's not only International Hugging day today but also International Fetish Day 😈 So why not celebrate both‽ Hits & hugs to everyone (who likes) 🖤

SİNdarElle

So cool to hear you got through the anxiety, Dawn! 💜 I’m sure there’s something to be said for ‘bodyfulness’ as well as mindfulness in the process because the worst times for me are when I’ve been really mentally overworked. And beard burn! 😩 I never thought of it like that! I’d better be a touch more gentle 😂 xx

Matthew Tower

Did I not just imply getting hit by a bus a couple days ago? 😩🥵 Gonna need a couple minutes before I get back up again. I don’t even need the hug, just more beard stuff 😳

rebecca

Yessssss. In the past I had severe anxiety and everyone tiptoed around me. THIS MATTHEW!!!! For me personally, in those dark times, all I wanted to do was feel. This was the most amazing thing!! Thankfully my anxiety has been beaten, but I really hope anyone who felt/feels the same way trys this route. On a side note:Beard Burn🤤, nips and bites😈, grabbing of the derriere💦💦💦💜 Perfection 🙏👏🙌🧔you sexy thing!

Dawn

Absorbed. 😌 Returned. 🤗 xx

Matthew Tower

Ahhh! This is really cool to hear, RG. 💜It’s not like I thought I’d be alone in this while I was making it, but for a moment after posting I was like: what if everyone finds it weird! 🤣 It’s not exactly perfect huh day material! 😂 xx

Matthew Tower

Sending snugs n hugs 🫂💕 🫂

Meg_just_Meg

So relieved to hear it! 😅💜🤗🤗🤗

Matthew Tower

How dare you Mr. Tower!!! How dare you somehow know exactly what I have been wishing for in an audio from you. That is my favorite way to get grounded back into reality when I start to drift away. I love to turn my brain off and just feel. I think your theory holds a lot of merit. And again, I'd just like to say how jealous I am of girls you fuck in real life. Although, I wonder if you talk that much with another person? But either way ...she's a very lucky gal...or they....or whatever your situation is. Here's a big crazy bear hug!!!

Raegan Howard

First rxn: holy hell. So good. Feels now, words later. You rock. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰🥰 💙💚💛

Titania

Have you found that going into the fantasy world helps? I’ve had severe depression issues myself for years, especially the past couple of months and sometimes it helps me. I’m sorry you’re having such severe depression, I know it sucks. 😔

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Welp, I'm severely depressed. Haven't been able to coax myself into a shower for like a month or so. I'll give it a go. Thou u probably won't want to hug me much less anything else. Luckily for you this is fantasy. I'll imagine I've had a bath 1st.

VANESSA

🤗xx

Matthew Tower

Perfect timing for me

Bibi

First hug Katie! 🤗Can we make it a special one? 😜xx

Matthew Tower

… I just though to myself 20 min ago, I could really use a hug. 🥲🥰 Now what am I thinking…🤔🤗

Katie


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