Ask Doctor Phage II!

What can you tell me about "magboils"? I have "recently" starting seeing alot of them while doing my grocery shopping and they seem to be the only indication of a zonal bleed. Other people have been seeing them too, but for their first time apparently.

What does Blackish Foam do?

Dr. Phage, I have recently become the unwilling caretaker of a rather large hair monster. The care card that came attached to the (rather large) basket left on my doorstep with him in it said I should feed him 25 pounds of psuedointerior decorations and six iridescent vineflippers daily. However, this hair monster is a very picky eater; he has so far ignored his recommended diet in favor of my neighbor's gutter spouts, gray squirrels, suet, feral shiftrompers and at least five SUVs, all swallowed whole. As a result, his silky sheen is starting to fade and he is developing split ends. How can I convince my hair monster to eat the food that's good for him?

Also, can I hug you?

Dr. Phage, do you dream? If so, what do you dream about?

Dear Doctor Phage, I have clowns not just on my mind, but also under my skin, What can I do to make them go away or at least calm down there rowdy antics? The acrobatics and juggling attempts never seem to cease.

is there any way to domesticate spore angels? Y'know the little red fetus things that fly through the abyss and bleat like goats?

Dr Phage Dr Phage! How can I find a way to balance my drive to be productive, develop my skills and create new things with my drive to be a slovenly parasite on society, doing nothing with my life but playing pokemon and eating any food crumbs I find in my sheets?

bum eyes

"Greetings, esteemed doctor! I'm writing on behalf of the Cross-Perceptual Medical Ethics Board. While, as always, your incredible efforts merit you being both at the top of your class and in a class of your own, there's simply one incident that has left us concerned. We've come across a testimony claiming that a patient was able to receive prioritized care ahead of other, more urgent cases, simply due to offering you a new variety of bow-tie. Given your good standing with the Board, we of course immediately dropped the charges and confined the patient for obvious insanity. Simply put: should we drop them off for mental care at your facility, or is there a better course of action here? As always, your help is greatly appreciated!"

Disva Dravir