SCRAPPED CREEPYPASTA for $10+ patrons: "Froggies"

This is a short story I seem to have forgotten I ever wrote. The ending is nonsense, but I still like it. I just don't quite like its overall quality or writing to really put it out there...maybe I'll rework it somehow, or just publish it as-is some day.

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It's been about ten years since the first "froggy" made headlines. I don't remember where the name came from; they look more like naked, headless chickens with human legs, but "froggy" is what stuck. A stupid name for a stupid creature.

Origin theories used to circulate wildly, from genetic experimentation to demonic ritual, but nobody really cares anymore. As far as anybody knows, they just sort of randomly materialize as long as nobody is looking. Leave a room for a few hours and there's a one in a hundred chance you'll find one stumbling around when you come back, unless of course you've got a camera running, then they'll be sure to materialize inside a wall or a cabinet or just anywhere imaginable, so long as its out of sight.

We should probably consider ourselves lucky that they pose no immediate danger, but if they craved human brains or farted cyanide it might have at least sped things up a little. The fact that they do nothing but stagger around for a few hours and drop dead has only made the apocalypse slower, more tedious and more disgusting.

They clog sewers. They litter streets. An endless stream of their bloated corpses pile up on beaches. Every few seconds another one just falls out of the sky somewhere, splattering in the streets or on a rooftop, and they steadily tumble down from mountains and treetops. From everywhere that goes unobserved.

There is nowhere on Earth to hide from the stench of their bodies. Rivers of their reeking fluids flood city streets and turn our waterways to sludge. Flies blot out the sun and vultures are the largest wildlife most children have ever seen at this point.

It wouldn't be nearly as distressing if they didn't all do the same exact thing before they finally collapsed.

If they didn't open that gross sphincter where their head should be and scream.

In English, no matter where they've manifested.

They only ever say one thing.

"TOLD YOU SO!"

We still don't know why.