tastyace

The Medical Update Masterpost v7 (Further Atrophied, Worse Than Ever, Hitting The Breaks. Last updated 3-25-22)

Added 2022-02-03 19:28:46 +0000 UTC

Hello! TastyAce here. Hope y'all are ok.

I figured I should make a place for me to share updates on my situation as they occur. For those not in the know about what's going on, please read this post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/61869863

I will share news as it comes, and updates will be ordered from "Most Recent" to "Least Recent". Things will be as specific as I can get without wholly revealing my medical history, as I'd like to protect my own privacy.

So, yeah. Here we go. <3 Kind words are appreciated right now.

P.S. I will respond to messages/replies as soon as I can, but even the simplest things are very hard to do right now. Thank you for reaching out. (Added 2-6-22: This is still true. I cannot emphasize enough how even the smallest things are very, very difficult atm. I promise I will respond to you as soon as I obtain the time/energy to do so.)

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Update 7: 3-25-22

I wrote a longer update post separately b/c things got extremely bad. Please read it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/64240985

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Update 6: 3-5-22

CW: Discussion of bad health stuff, including: depression, memory problems, and brief mention of suicidal urges.

Greetings.

First of all, to anyone who was messaged me in the last 10ish days or so: I am in a super bad place in my recovery process atm. I can barely do shit. I will focus on replying once I am in a better headspace, which will hopefully be sometime next week. Sorry for the wait and thanks for understanding.

Now to the main order of business. . .

I thought I'd let y'all know where I'm currently at. To begin, let me copy a summary from a message I sent to a buddy yesterday:

"I'm sorry to tell you that I hit what I thought was rock bottom, but then sunk even lower into a metaphorical, sunless abyss. That is where I am currently, and it is hard to see the light from down here. Logically I know I will not be here forever--I have been through so many difficult times in my life it is sometimes hard to remember them all--but unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier. The emotional toll (overwhelming depression) along with the physical shortcomings (mainly severe memory problems) is a lot."

That sums it up. To elaborate, my mental state is in a cloud of hopeless existentialism and grim longings for my own demise. My energy levels are minimal at best. My brain can barely remember the events of yesterday, nevermind plan for the days/weeks/months ahead--I see the past in broad strokes, able to know what generally occurred, but specific details are harder to pinpoint.

I know it's not as "bad" as it could be--I still have my long-term memory, so I'm not forgetting my own name or the people I care about; I can also still manage the monthly game and Patreon-exclusive stories, along with a few other things. But that doesn't make this easier to experience. In addition, I've had memory problems all my life due to neurodivergency, and have feared a deterioration like this since I was a child--so this kind of thing is literally a nightmare come to life.

I'm not fully sure how any of you can help me. Well, now that I think about it, I suppose there is one thing you can do:

Tell me your favorite works of mine. It can be a long or short, one or many. But my sick mind is stating that I produced nothing of value into the world, so hearing evidence of that being a lie is very much needed right now.

Please. I would appreciate it immensely.

That's all I have the energy to write. Thanks for reading. This'll be put on Patreon and on my main accounts.

Later.

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Update 5: 2-22-22

What a pretty date; look at all the twos! Idk about you, but tiny life things like that make my little crow heart smile. Anyway, to the point.

I've wanted to update this post for like a week, but my energy levels have been SO fucking limited. So instead of making the Long Version & Short Version I was doing before, I'm just gonna make one Medium Version below b/c that's all I have the strength for right now.

First things first: I have "lovingly" dubbed this crisis "Brain Ablaze". Because alliteration and shorthand is nice.

More importantly, I discussed feeling like I was turning a corner last time, but HAHA nope. I did have a surge of energy and creativity, but (1) it didn't last, and (2) I didn't have the focus within me to truly channel it very well. Basically felt like this:

Aside from that: I finally entered the short-term care program (last Monday was actually the pre-treatment evaluation, not the start-date; I actually began on Thursday), and that has been an amazing thing. However, I soon discovered that this will not be as "short-term" as I thought--the timeline I was given for treatment shows that this will take 2-3 MONTHS.

I am ready to commit to that to improve myself, but that means I do need to put some things on the backburner in order to focus on my care/health. The treatment is very good so far, though I and the psychiatrist I'm working with have made a . . . Very Weird discovery? We're still exploring that more so see what exactly is going on there, and I don't want to delve into it until everything is fully understood. The short version is that appears that my first doc (who I will call "Doctor Dumbass" from now on) fucked up BIG TIME with my meds.

(Also, one of the things he prescribed to help my brain is actually for ALLERGIES??? I TRUSTED THIS MAN WITH MY MENTAL HEALTH FOR YEARS AND HE GAVE ME PILLS TO PREVENT FUCKING SNEEZING THAT I HAVE BEEN TAKING FOR MONTHS?!?!?! Jesus Christ.)

I am improving a little bit but not anywhere close to how I was. Everything is hard--as I discussed briefly on Twitter, even eating is a hassle that I can barely manage. I fight an uphill battle to just consume enough food, and struggle with so many life essentials I took for granted before Brain Ablaze. I am a disciplined person who has built up numerous strategies for productivity, but my mind has basically shattered apart and rendered all those things--the things I have relied on--100% useless as I struggle to pick up the pieces and rebuild.

It is hard. So fucking hard. I'm an optimist/glass-half-full kind of guy, but this whole thing has seriously tested my ability to find the positives in such a negative situation. I don't wanna unload too much about it right now--I literally don't have the energy, and I've also been writing a vent fic that I hope to eventually share; it will be the space for that and explain more to those wanting to understand.

What else to say. . . Oh yeah! On top of everything else, I almost FELL UNCONSCIOUS while in the bathroom this morning! I've felt lightheaded in certain circumstances before in my life, but never had this severe a case; I felt such an enormous wave of weakness come over my body, and it was terrifying as hell. I was able to schedule an appointment with my new doc, the one I saw after the ER (I will call her "Doctor Goodperson" because she is just that and I am too sleepy to come up with something more clever); I'll see her tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully we can find out what the FUCK happened there!

In short, I am improving a little, but am DEFINIELY not much better yet. If I had to put a number to it, I'd say that I was 15% better last week, thanks to my psychiatrist tinkering with my meds to help me improve. This week, I am 18% better (so far). Yes, that's a 3% increase, which is good, but there's also a large 82% to go. That's gonna take a while.

Let me end with the plan as usual:

1. Keep working with the doctors and continue my treatment plan. At the very least, I hope I can find out while I almost fainted on the toilet!

2. I was hoping I would be able to post public stories by now, but I can't, and I am putting them on pause for right now. Here's my decision: I will resume posting public stories after I am capable of eating 3 meals a day--once I have returned to being capable of the essential aspects of life, THEN I will be able to take on those things again.

3. Patreon-exclusives are still on of course, along with the monthly game; those things I'm capable of at leas. I released a demo for next month's project (play it here or read more about that here) and am working on Feb's sauna game; I hope to release it by the end of this week.

4. Like I said before, I'll start small with returning to coms, but we'll see where that goes. I gotta focus more on my own improvement right now, and I will take on more as I get better.

I also wanna end with a new section, because I know that some of y'all want to do what you can for me--which I super appreciate btw! Your kindness during this period has been a real blessing to me during this hard-as-hell time.

So if you want to help, here's a few things you can do for me, in no particular ranking/order:

1. Leave a comment on this post! I like knowing that I'm not just shouting into the void when I make these updates. Even if it's just a heart emoji or "Get well soon," or something, it tells me that I am being heard right now and that is God.

2. Send me cute birds! Little cockatiel videos are my tiny ray of sunshine for me right now, but I'm a lifetime bird nerd (probably obvious lol) and not picky! Show me the adorable little floofy dinosaurs! I love seeing them! >u< And if there's other cute/funny stuff you want to share that's non-bird related, feel free to send it my way too!

3. Show my characters some love! I mostly mean thoughts/comments on my fellas but you can do other stuff too if you'd wanna; no pressure though! My new 7 Devourly Sins are ones I'd love to hear words on most, but if there's a Main OC you think is cool, tell me! Hearing peoples' appreciation of the characters I have is rad! Even if it's something as simple as, "I like their design," those things make my whole day a little bit better!

There's probably other stuff but I'm sleepy AND my brain now runs on virus-ridden MS-DOS shovelware now, so I can't think of anything else. I know those aren't big/grand ways to help my situation, but the little stuff truly goes a long way, especially right now. Plus, I don't feel 100% comfortable asking for anything bigger than things like that at this time.

Also, if you want to reach out privately, PLEASE do it! Even if you've never messaged me before, I'm totally cool with random DMs! It's 100% fine as long as you're not a douchebag.

Thanks!

Alright, that's all for now. Stay safe out there, and until next time, I'll be fighting the good food fight to keep myself sustained.

Om nom nom.

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Update 4: 2-11-22

Phew, the past few days have been a RIDE! Here's the lowdown on what's up. There's a "Short Version" and a "Long Version" of events like usual.

Short Version

CW: Brief overview of hospitalization and health problems.

At the start of the week, I had some strange heart problems and sensations that concerned me enough to go to the ER. They ran some tests and did confirm I do not have Reaction W or blood pressure problems, which is good. However, the staff were dismissive of me, and also did not share some concerning aspects of the test results. I broke down after this appointment; it felt hopeless.

Luckily, things started to look up. I got into a short-term care program, which my therapist recommended, and saw a different doctor to follow-up about the ER and the other stuff. She was very patient and kind, and went over the hospital's findings, telling me that the results don't indicate anything overly serious, which was a huge relief. She also ordered my blood to be tested for a problem that runs in my family, so we'll see where that goes.

I've been feeling some great improvement the last few days; I feel much more present and less depressed. It feels like I'm finally improving, and the short-term care program can only take things upward. I am experiencing massive relief--I'm turning a corner.

That said, I want to take it slow so I don't overwhelm myself while I'm still recovering. I've fallen into the trap of seeing "progress" as "completely better" resulting in me taking on more than I can truly handle--and I don't want to do that again, haha! So here's what I plan to do:

1. Keep working with my medical professionals, duh.

2. I will not be posting public stories next week either, sorry. There will still be a Patreon Exclusive, and once again I will try to work on small commissions. And I want to make a tad more progress on February's game--it's a more experimental title than usual, and I'm having fun working on it when I get the energy to do so.

That's all for right now. Thanks for reading, and stay safe out there, ok? <3

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Long Version

CW: Discussion overview of hospitalization and health problems.

I was having symptoms at the start of the week that indicated I could be experiencing low blood pressure (heart palpitations, hazy sensations, etc) so I went to the ER on Wednesday. They ran a few tests on me, drew some blood and got some other stuff, then confirmed that my blood pressure is fine, and I definitely DON'T have Reaction W. Phew! So that's good, right?

. . . Well, kinda. First of all, the staff at the hospital were continually not pleasant during my visit there--I got interrupted and talked down to by basically all the doctors there. In addition to this, by entering the link in the small print on the back of the heart palpitation info packet they gave me, I got to see my test results--and there were several concerning matters there. None of which anyone discussed with me in any way whatsoever.

Due to all of this, I really broke down that night. Having my primary doctor turn out to be shitty is one thing, but to have multiple medical professionals treat me like garbage, and then not tell me concerns going in in MY OWN BODY?! I felt pretty hopeless, not going to lie.

But I pushed on. My therapist strongly recommended I get into a short-term mental health program so I can work with a psychiatrist to balance my meds. And the ER told me to schedule a follow-up with a doctor about the heart stuff (I was already seeking other docs too). So on Thursday and Friday, I made plenty of phone calls with the help of somebody I trust. I start the short-term care on Monday, and had my doctor's appointment earlier today--with a different person than the one I usually go to, of course.

It was actually a very productive trip. The doctor was very patient and understanding. We discussed the results of the ER's tests in detail and though some of their findings did concern me, it looks like they don't indicate anything too serious, which is a huge relief. She also organized for the blood drawn at the hospital to be tested for one more thing that runs in my family--we'll see what comes of that.

I've also been feeling a bit more balanced/present the last couple days, and less depressed too--more so than I've been in a fucking month! It's incredible! It finally feels like I'm actually turning a corner, and I'm sure the short-term program will only lead to me getting better. Thank fucking God. The relief I am experiencing is enormous.

1. Keep working with my medical professionals, obviously. I'm hoping the short-term care program goes well, and I'm excited to start that on Monday.

That's all for right now. Thanks for reading, and stay safe out there, ok? <3

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UPDATE 3: 2-9-22

Some major physical symptoms recently escalated that can be very bad. Due to this, I am heading to the hospital shortly to get checked out. Hopefully things turn out ok.

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UPDATE 2: 2-6-22

Hello everyone! TastyAce here. I have another update on my situation. Like before, I will break it down into a "Short Version" and a "Long Version" of what has occurred.

Short Version

CW: Brief overview of mental health problems and discussion of death.

This did not go well. The new medication he planned to give me (Med P) seemed questionable; he dismissed my concerns about Reaction W outright, not even addressing the fact that he prescribed me a medication that can lead to a fatal end with Med Y; and he wanted me to stop taking Med Y, a treatment that I literally need to function, entirely.

When I objected to this he pretty much threw up his hands and said this was "out of his league"--which, if that's the case, is something he should have told me days ago! I continued speaking with him, including somebody I trust in the conversation to help with the dialogue, and things only got worse. He basically said that he had not wanted me on Med Y all along, and it appears his ultimate goal was to take me off of that pill.

He did finally tell me I can slowly ween off of Med C, so that's the one positive. I will be seeking the help of a different health professional as I work through this, as his callous, dismissive, and deceptive response has left me very disappointed.

But like I said before, I truly am an optimist at heart. I do think this will turn around. I will let you all know how things go. Please stay safe out there, & I will update you soon.

Long Version

CW: Discussion of serious mental health problems and of death.

So I have been trying to get in touch with my doctor about my findings from Update 1--namely that, due to Med C + Med Y, I could be experiencing Reaction W, and that can lead to a deadly outcome. My doctor is only in the office on certain days, so I reached out multiple times, but only got to speak to the staff. However, I was able to talk to him yesterday--he returned my call personally and we went over the matter.

. . . I was quite disappointed by our discussion.

First of all, I asked him about the new medication he prescribed me. Let's call it Med P. He explained that Med P is a stimulant. However, upon researching it, all results indicate it is mainly used to reduce weight/appetite, which is troubling because my medical reactions prevent me from eating properly at the moment. I'm lucky if I can manage to have two meals a day right now, and I wouldn't want to take a substance that makes these problems worse.

He then completely dismissed my concerns about having Reaction W. And didn't address the fact that he prescribed Med C to me despite the fact that Med C + Med Y can lead to a deadly occurrence.

Finally, he said he wanted me to take Med P, continue Med C, return to Med B (which, as mentioned in my original post, really didn't work well as a balancer), and as the cherry on top . . . he wanted me to stop taking Med Y.

This immediately raised some red flags for me. Allow me to explain and provide context here.

Med Y is not just a thing that can be replaced willy-nilly. It is the ultimate result of a multi-year journey to find the correct medicine for me after lots of back & forth with my health professional and multiple, multiple failed attempts. It took almost half a decade to find this med, the right med.

It is through Med Y that I am able to properly function & do a lot of things that come very easily for other people--make and complete schedules, do daily tasks efficiently, things like those. Without Med Y, I can confidently tell you that I would not be able to write in a professional capacity. My life has drastically improved thanks to it. So, my doctor wanting me to get off of Med Y is a very big deal--and not something I expected or wanted.

I told my doctor that I didn't want to go off Med Y due to all of the aforementioned reasons. In addition, I wasn't sure about going back to Med B, and I raised concerns about Med P;s possible effects on my appetite/weight.

My doctor's response? He told me that this was "out of his league" & to "seek another professional if I didn't trust him".

For fuck's sake. I have waited days to hear from this guy, anticipated his expertise--and this is what I get? I could have been pursuing other options and seeking help elsewhere if I had known this would be his response!

I was extremely disappointed & disheartened by this. I continued talking with him, this time bringing someone I trust on the line with me to help discuss the matter further . . . and I learned even more that I found very concerning.

First of all, he insisted I was being absurd about Med P's weight loss effects, acting like I was cherry-picking the worst side effects . . . despite the fact that appetite/weight loss is the first thing you see when you Google Med P, and is all over every medical piece on the pill.

Secondly, despite everything I told him, he insisted I continue Med C and stop Med Y. Even though I brought up a lot of concerns about this, his response was "if you don't trust me, find someone else".

Finally, and most importantly, it came out that he did not think I even needed Med Y, and had only been continuing to write scripts for it because it had been prescribed by my previous doctor (there was a brief period when I was in a different area, so I saw a different health professional during those years, who prescribed Med Y to me). My current doctor seemed to be implying that his ultimate goal all along had been to take me off Med Y entirely, despite it being the thing I need to literally function normally.

.. . I have been working with this doctor for a very long time. So for him to reveal this information to me that he'd been hiding from me for years was disappointing, heartbreaking, and shocking.

After repeatedly asking him what to do about Med C, and practically begging for a solution, he finally told me I could slowly get off the medication by taking it once every other day, then once a week, then not at all. That is the one positive out of all of this--here is a way to hopefully return to "normalcy". However, the fact it took multiple pleas to my doctor for him to finally help me was extremely disappointing.

Once I got off the phone with him, I immediately looked up various health professionals to see if I can schedule with someone else to help guide me back to normal. Unfortunately, because my doctor didn't call back until Saturday, I had to leave messages instead of reaching anyone right away. We'll see what comes of that.

Hopefully I can find somebody else soon who can help me through this, and things will start looking up after that. The whole interaction with my doctor was utterly disappointing. I will keep you all updated on how I'm doing--hopefully getting off of Med C will improve my health.

Depressed rant starts here.

. . . Sigh.

Here's the thing.

I have not been in this bad of a state in a very long time. I think it's been around seven years since my health has been in such a wreck. To go from my daily accomplishments being, "Hooray, I helped a client! Now to continue working!" to, "Hooray, I had dinner! Fuck, I want to go to bed!" is a bit of a shock.

I'm sure any neurodivergent fellow reading this can relate to that feeling. Sometimes even the smallest, most "basic" of things seem impossible and insurmountable. That is where I am now.

And to find my doctor to be so unempathetic, dismissive, and deceptive has really left me feeling somewhat hopeless.

Depressed rant ends here.

But like I said before, I truly am an optimist at heart. I do think this will turn around. I will let you all know how things go. Please stay safe out there, & I will update you soon.

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UPDATE 1: 2-2-22 (ok I didn't properly finish this until 2-3-22 but oh well)

First things first: 2-2-22 is a lovely date, hell yeah. X3 Let's take a moment to appreciate that.

. . . Ok, all good? Now, onto the serious stuff. It really does get quite serious, so do heed the content warning. As this post once again got Very Long, I will break it up into a "Short Version" and "Long Version" once more.

(Also it's HALFWAY THROUGH THE WEEK?! Still feels like Monday to this bad birb brain, fucking hell! Anyway, onto business.)

Short Version

CW: Brief overview of mental health problems and discussion of death.

I called my doctor, and he gave me a new medication to try; the script for it is coming to be through the mail. But my gut told me to so more research into Med C & its interactions with another pill I take, Med Y. I knew from my doc that the two could clash, but upon googling it further, I found out that not only do those two medications REALLY not get along, they can result in a very serious drug reaction (which I'll just refer to as "Reaction W", which is due to an increase of "Chemical W"). This reaction can become deadly in certain cases, and it does appear I am exhibiting symptoms of it.

This is something my doctor never informed me of, and I was obviously disturbed by this finding. However, the data seems to say that if I am truly experiencing Reaction W, it is not a severe case (the ones that lead to death) at the moment. So, hooray?

I left a message with my doctor explaining what I discovered and asking what we should do next. I don't want to stop taking Med C until I get his approval, because going cold turkey on it can lead to bad outcomes.

I plan to:

1. Keep working with my doctor and letting you all know things as they occur.

2. Taking next week off and not posting any public stories once again. There will still be a Patreon Exclusive, and I will try to work on small commissions.

I'm quite shellshock by everything that has happened, and I feel bad for the sudden shift; this has taken a dark turn. If I get any symptoms of a severe case of Reaction W, I will immediately go to the hospital.

Thank you for reading all of this. I will keep you all updated.

Long Version

CW: Discussion of mental health problems and serious talk of death.

So, I heard from my doctor. Last I left off, I had previously called & left a message asking about next steps but hadn't heard back. I called again today, got the receptionist, again discussed the situation and asked about next steps (should we adjust my meds, should I come in to see the doc before we change anything, all that stuff). She passed it onto my doc, and then called back, telling me that he (my doctor) was going to prescribe me a new medication to see if that improves things; once I agreed to this, she confirmed my address and sent the script through the mail.

I was happy to hear that, but something inside me nagged at my brain. You see, I was already aware of the fact that Med C sometimes doesn't get along with another one of my pills, let's call the latter Med Y. My doctor had casually mentioned there might be side effects because of this, and a quick google search had revealed that to be a possibility. But something was telling me to look deeper. I don't know why I was feeling this way, but when my gut says something, I try to listen to it. So, I searched a few things. And what I found was . . . a lot.

Basically, I discovered that Med C and Med Y really, REALLY do NOT work well together, to the point that Med C can basically (1) nullify Med Y's benefits and (2) cause a buildup of Med Y because of that. The combination of the two can lead to things like trouble eating, insomnia, increased depression, confusion, and/or amnesia. And this is ON TOP OF Med C's various possible side effects, some of which includes brain fog and drowsiness. All things I have unfortunately been experiencing. Also YES, experiencing drowsiness AND insomnia at the same time is exactly as terrible as it seems.

But that's not the worst of it.

I found out that Med C + Med Y together can ALSO lead to the body building up on a certain chemical--and that can cause a very serious drug reaction. This reaction can be extremely dangerous, so much so that death has occurred in numerous cases. After reviewing some of the symptoms for this (which I'll just refer to as "Reaction W", which is due to an increase of "Chemical W"), it became a real possibility to me that I could be experiencing it, which is very much not good.

So, um . . . yeah. Once again: FUCK. To lighten the mood a little bit, have a funny gif that reflects my feelings.

Upon discovering this, I was extremely disturbed, terrified, and enraged. My doctor did NOT tell me that anything CLOSE to this was a possibility when he prescribed me Med C. The fact that I had to find this out on fucking GOOGLE (through numerous verified medical websites) was super awful.

I am trying not to freak out. Both because it can be easy to fear the worst, and because I literally have a rule for myself to not panic in these situations, then assess the data available to chart my next steps. Luckily, the data is actually in my favor, for a few reasons:

1. Reaction W has two sets of symptoms: regular and severe. I have quite a few of the regular ones, but a few of them overlap with the Med C + Y ones I listed earlier. So it's possible that I do indeed have Reaction W, OR am just experiencing side effects due to Med C + Y not playing nice together, OR have both of these things at once. The point here is to say that it's entirely possible that Reaction W isn't even on the table right now (which would, of course, be a good thing).

2. As for the severe symptoms of Reaction W, all of those are physical, not cognitive; these are the ones that indicate that your case is life-threatening. So I either am experiencing Reaction W, the clashing of Med C + Y, or both, but regardless, this is not a deadly case atm. And while it could escalate to that point, that does seem unlikely for now, because . . .

3. . . from what I researched, when Reaction W becomes severe, it escalates very quickly, rapidly getting worse in a matter of days; this is what leads to deadly cases. With that in mind, the fact that I've been in a bad state for a MONTH could be a sign that, even if I am experiencing Reaction W, it isn't fatal for me, at least at the moment? So that's a glass half full, even if said glass is full of shit.

So, what next? Well, I have been in contact with my doctor. By the time I found all this out though, his office was closed. So I left a message basically explaining my findings, raising concerns, and asking what steps should be taken next with this in mind. I am still waiting to hear back, and I will keep you all posted.

I also want to learn more about the new medication he prescribed. If it will affect Chemical W further, and I am experiencing Reaction W, that could result in my case going from regular to severe. And that, obviously, would be very, very bad.

The seemingly-clear solution here is to just stop taking Med C. However, there are a few things to keep in mind. 1: as my doctor slowly weened me off of Med A instead of just dropping it altogether, I wouldn't want to stop taking Med C cold turkey and get bad medical side effects. 2: in addition to that, during my research I found that stopping Med C cold turkey can result in a known withdrawal syndrome that has a range of symptoms, from physical problems to mental changes; this can last a few weeks or months. Thus, 3: due to both those things, I would like to speak to my doctor before I stop Med C altogether; the last thing I would want is to drop this medication to try and get better, but make things worse by doing so.

Lots of complicated stuff here. Have another gif. In short: I scream.

So here's what I plan to do and what will happen next:

1. Continue working with my doctor, obviously. Like I said, if I get any new info, I will let y'all know. This post will be updated every time I get new information.

2. I was really hoping to get back to posting next week, but this week is almost over now and I've barely gotten anywhere, health-wise. So I'm going to take next week off as well and not post any public stories. I will still be doing a Patreon Exclusive and will try to do small commission work though.

To conclude, just . . . wow. I feel very bad for all of this, because I certainly didn't expect for the situation to go to, "This isn't great but I will keep you all posted," to, "I found information that say I might be experiencing something that could literally turn deadly." That's a pretty serious shift. Like I said though, the data is on my side; right now, if I do have Reaction W, I don't seem to have a severe case. I plan to monitor myself closely and if I do experience any of the severe symptoms, I will immediately go to the hospital to seek treatment.

Thank you for reading all of this. I will keep you all updated.