RiffTrax

Talkin' RiffTrax: THE ALIEN DEAD

Added 2021-06-08 17:13:31 +0000 UTC

Howdy, folks! And greetings to the new Traxians here on the old Patreon. Welcome!

Kevin Murphy here. We found ourselves in a conundrum about The Alien Dead. First of all, is it actually a movie? So let’s do a quick comparative thought experiment: If you take yeast, water, salt, and flour, throw it in a Ziploc bag, and leave it on the porch for several days, then throw it in the oven - bag and all - until it becomes a laminated brick, can you call that bread? Or, say, if you smear a gallon of Prego on the counter, then pile noodles, meatballs, and that awful dried cheese that smells like dog feet on it all: can you call that spaghetti? Or food? Or any increment of decency?

I suppose you can, although I would not. Ultimately, this is the conundrum of The Alien Dead, a collection of people walking around, occasionally hunting for alligators, or swimming in fetid swamps, or ostensibly protecting-and-serving as officers of the law. Every now and again one or the other gets half-eaten by one or more zombies — not consistent zombies in looks, behavior, or provenance, mind you, but more randomly assembled and indifferently motivated.

So in the end, The Alien Dead is the Countertop Spaghetti of movies - not really a movie, not all that appetizing, but fun to watch as the disaster unfolds before your very eyes as your brain asks “Why? Why even?” And we’re there to watch the disaster with you. We’re the ones gobbling up that Countertop Spaghetti and asking for seconds. That’s our job.

Buon appetito, friends.

- km

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