Barbarian's Path To Multiversal Domination Chapter 15: The Negotiator

“Back so soon.” Grace stated, sighing with a tone of disatisfaction. “How am I supposed to make our cook feel comfortable with you barging in every five minutes?-"

"ERINAAAH!"

Dennis charged forward like thunder, jolting her with a bear hug. Erina was as shocked as she was terrified. He could break her like a twig with the slightest bit of pressure.

"When I went to eat in the Red Keep, they served the most terrible shit I've ever eaten..." He rubbed her back gently, sniffling - almost crying as if he were a child missing his mother. "I miss your cooking so much..."

Grace raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. The envy in her heart was hard to deny. The way her cooking had affected him... it was an ability that she did not possess.

"You're suffocating the poor girl."

"Right... I'm sorry." Dennis chuckled, backing away. "You're going to cook for me, right? That awful taste is still in my mouth."

"... Sure..."

Erina slowly nodded. Not like she had much of a choice in the matter.

“Lyanna, why did you…” Rhaegar questioned, looking back. 

“Just by passing that strange mirror…” Lyanna looked bewildered.

Dennis turned back and made note of the three baboons who had trespassed into his domain; Queen Lyanna Stark, Ser Barristan Selmy and Ser Arthur Dayne. He frowned, looking down on them.

“I might need to write up some guidebooks or something at this point.” Grace stroked her chin in thought. “Well, never mind that. Should I send the unwanted visitors on their way?"

“Hmm…” Dennis suddenly grinned, his frown dissipating. “You know what, since they wanted to come here so badly, they might as well stay. I do need more workers, right? To work a farm and all of that business."

“Mhm.” Grace nodded before raising a doubtful eyebrow. “However… the people you brought here aren't exactly farmers. One was born a lady while the other two were highborn turned knights.”

“They'll learn.” Dennis shrugged. “The knights aren't that bad at fighting, either. They could fight the weaklings when I go out next time.”

“RHAEGAAAAAR!!!”

A battle roar permeated through the main hall of the domain as a figure of great strength stomped forward, his great antlered helm reminding Rhaegar of the moment his life had almost ended. He held his famed, heavy, warhammer in one hand while the other pointed it at the king. 

Rhaegar braced himself, stepping back until he was only a step in front of his Kingsguard.

“Y-you’re here? But I killed you-”

“You, kill me?” Robert Baratheon laughed at the absurdity. “My warhammer caved your bloody chestplate and spread all those pretty rubies across the ford. You don't remember though, do you? I'll make you remember, ooh, I'll make you fucking remember!”

“That's the Demon of the Trident?” Dennis blinked, not frightened in the slightest. “It's just old Robb.”

“It's the original, the one who won… except he's buffed up a little.”

“Oh?” Dennis looked at Robert with curiosity. “So, he'd give me a better fight than last time?”

“Since he shares the same epithet, he scales off of you a little. So, yes, he most definitely would.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Also, you shouldn't worry about losing your singer. Anything that dies here comes alive again… eventually.”

Dennis nodded. “So they can fight without consequences…”

It was a reminder of his first true battle, after all. It was like the memory of a sweet first kiss to Dennis.

Robert charged Rhaegar, only to be intercepted by his Kingsguard. Robert dodged Dawn and deflected Ser Barristan, snacking the knight clean across the head - almost taking it clean off. For a moment, Arthur looked in bewilderment. Did my guy really get cooked like that?

Ser Arthur shook himself out of it, swinging the great sword Dawn down at Robert vertically. The Demon of the Trident swiftly sidestepped in response, smashing his Warhammer against the chest of his plate. That armour crumbled like Galaxy ripples (the chocolate) as the knight got on his knees.

BANG.

Robert swung his Warhammer against his head and sent the knight all the way down.

Meanwhile, Rhaegar had snuck up behind Robert and prepared to pierce one of the gaps in his armour.

Pierce.

CLANG.

Robert had shifted his leg, deflecting his sword against the side of his sabatons. He swiftly turned 180 degrees, raising his leg and kicking it against the side of Rhaegar. The King stumbled back.

“Look at you, sneaking about.” Robert laughed. “I thought there was a rat in my Overlord’s keep, but alas, it was a dragonspawn. Not just any dragonspawn - The Last Dragon - BAHAHAHAHAA!”

“Damn you…” Rhaegar stepped back.

“For context, the reason why he's enjoying himself is because Rhaegar stole his betrothed - Lyanna Stark - which was one of, if not the most important reasons for Robert’s Rebellion. Since he killed him once, Robert has dreamed of killing him again every night…”

“It looked like she did loved every bit of Rhaegar.” Dennis remarked.

“Well, yeah, she's more of a prince charming girl.” Grace smiled as she thought of something devious. “You could show her the light, what a real man is like, if you wish. Maybe in front of beloved  Rhaegar…”

Grace’s degenerate thoughts made Dennis chuckle.

“You horny witch.”

Meanwhile, Rhaegar had made an attempt at combating an amped Robert Baratheon - to little avail. The Robert he fought at the Trident had been both weaker and injured (which he should've lost to anyways)… this was a completely different beast. Robert was practically toying with him.

CLANG.

Robert smacked Rhaegar’s sword hand, his sword clattering to the ground.

“Now you die!”

As Robert swung his Warhammer, Rhaegar turned back and ran to Dennis - hiding behind him. 

“Hiding behind my Overlord? That is pathetic, even for you.”

Seeing Rhaegar run from Robert and hide behind another man like a frightened child was quite the aversion for Lyanna Stark. As much as she might love him, subconsciously she couldn't help but think less of him. 

“This is your home, is it not? You can't allow that wild stag to run rampant here…”

“Wild stag?” Dennis grinned slightly. “This is the jungle where only the strong thrive. If you can't defend yourself against him - then just get stronger. If you can't, then you'll just keep dying. It's as simple as that.”

Dennis grabbed Rhaegar’s shoulder and dragged him to Robert, kicking him forward for an extra push.

BANG.

Robert smacked Rhaegar clean on the head, knocking him out cold. He then turned to Lyanna, stepping forward.

“You wear a crown.” He remarked, resting his warhammer on his shoulder. “For how long have you enjoyed that dragonspawn’s embrace?”

“What does it matter to you?” Lyanna frowned.

“Shameless whore.”

“What will you do? Strike me?”

“That's the least that I should do.” Robert stepped forward. “Not because of what you did to me, no… because you dared to trespass into my Overlord’s domain uninvited-”

“Are you done?” Dennis questioned casually, scratching his hair. “I got shit to do.”

Robert stopped immediately, turning his attention to Dennis

He eyed Dennis and removed his stag helmet. The Demon knelt on one knee, placing both warhammer and helmet on the ground. He even went so far as to lower his head.

“Forgive me, my Almighty Overlord. I was only acting according to what I perceived as your will. I am wholeheartedly loyal to you and you alone. You are my Overlord, My King, My God. You may use me in any way you deem fit.”

“... Okay.” Dennis chuckled, shaking his head. This guy was a bit much. “You’ll be babysitting those lot and doing whatever Grace asks.”

“Her word is as good as yours.”

“So, what's next?” Dennis turned to Grace. 

“You can either consolidate your power here or get a more easily impressionable group of people to attain the Whip of Authority. With it, you can temporarily command anyone weaker than you. Constant use makes this effect more permanent.”

".... How long until Rhaegar wakes up?"

"An hour or so."

"I'm going to bring in my assassins then." Dennis decided, cracking his knuckles. "But first... I need some good food."

"Might I mention Erina used up all of the ingredients I've provided to satisfy your appetite last time?" Grace replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I mean, you just ate... twice. You can't be that hungry."

"I only need a little bit."

"Your little bit is like ten servings."

"Well, if there aren't any ingredients, then we still need to get some." Dennis stroked his chin in thought. "Erina should be pretty good at that since she's a cook."

"Yes, she is quite rich as well with plenty of infuence. It would be no more than a phone call for her."

"Then she can go back home for a few hours." Dennis shrugged.

"That's oddly caring of you."

"Well, if she likes me more, her cooking should be better too." Dennis blatantly stated his thoughts.

"Uh-huh. You should get going, I'll make the arrangements."

Dennis nodded, stepping into the portal that appeared in front of him.

"Well, isn't this awkward." Grace observed Lyanna Stark and then Robert. "Why don't you take their bodies into the stable alongside Lyanna. I'm going to help Erina with her shopping."

"I'll babysit them." Robert nodded.

...

When Dennis emerged in the streets near the Castello, the crowd parted like the Red Sea. The memory of his slaughter was fresh, having only happened a day prior. He had tainted the river red with the blood of Borgia guards and left a stench that made the people who sought to clean the mess fall unconscious from disgust - or add to it with fresh vomit.

To Dennis, however, this smell was perfectly arousing.

It made him feel like bloodletting some more.

Alas, he had a set goal in mind. The remains of the Italian Assassin Brotherhood.

He turned away from the Castello and soared to the rooftops, flashing from building to building. He took great joy in his supreme athleticism, the exhilaration that came with parkouring so swiftly that it seemed like he was flying was quite great. It was almost as good as dominating an entire army.

Soon enough, he made his way to the hideout and kicked the door down rather carelessly.

They wouldn't be needing it anymore, after all.

Dennis strolled into the main chamber and observed the bewildered expressions of his former sisters.

"You bitches still alive and kicking?" Dennis grinned, stepping forward. "I thought you'd all die without me."

"You forget that we are full-fledged Assassins, Mentor." Romola replied, smiling with confidence. "We can handle ourselves."

"When Ezio and all the others vanished, that's not what I was hearing."

"Those were different times. Borgia influence has completely crumbled since you slaughtered almost every man who would pick up a sword for them. All thanks to you."

"You can thank me by coming along. You and everyone else here." Dennis scanned his gaze across the hall, meeting eyes with every assassin. "If you don't, I'll fucking murder you. Simple."

"... I cannot speak for everyone else, but I will follow you wherever you wish, Mentor."

"I too."

"The threat is rather unnecessary, Mentor."

All four of the sisters he backpacked for all of those missions proved to be wholly loyal to him. Given their seniority, as well, the rest followed. Dennis didn't have to force his hand at all.

"My time here wasn't wasted."

A portal appeared and Dennis took all of the assassins with him. Since the assassins were already loyal to him, he instantly attained the Whip of Authority.

Meanwhile, in another dimension...

Totsuki Culinary Academy had become a media hellstorm after Dennis' 'incident' where countless students had been killed, and the director's granddaughter vanished into what seemed thin air. Erina would've been smothered with interviews if it hadn't been for her grandfather.

"I thought I had lost you..." Senzaemon Nakiri, her grandfather, took a sigh of relief. "Tell me, what happened? Where were you for the past few days?"

"I... can't explain everything right now." Erina looked down in guilt. "For now, I need ingredients to cook for... him."

"The madman?"

"Yes - him. T-they can move from world to world at will. They've only temporarily released me here for this purpose."

"..."

"Please, grandfather. There's no use denying them. They'll only cause more destruction if I don't follow their instructions."

"..." He took a deep breath, clenching his fists. "What are 'they'? Gods?"

"I do not know. But..."

Grace suddenly appeared in a ray of golden light, standing between the two.

"Well, isn't this a lovely reunion? It sounds like you are quite unsatisfied with the way matters stand." Grace looked at the director, smiling sweetly. "Shall I offer a preposition?"

~

Dennis looked around, noticing that Grace and Erina were nowhere to be found.

"Maybe I was too quick..."

He went into the 'stables', which was practically a world on its own. He joined Robert, Lyanna and the three goobers lying unconcious on the ground - recovering still.

"Your mission was a success, I see." Robert remarked. "I'd expect nothing less from my mighty overlord."

"You may as well get on your knees a second time." Lyanna remarked. "Hmph, you're so tough around everyone else but when it comes to him, you become nothing more than a good pet."

"Silence, whore." Robert scoffed, shaking his head. "I was created with complete loyalty to my liege overlord."

"Created?" Lyanna questioned.

"You two should just have sex already." Dennis remarked.

"Is that a command, my lord?" Robert questioned. "If so, I will act with haste-"

"Don't you lay a hand on me-"

"No, it isn't. Just a joke." Dennis looked at Rhaegar who was sleeping soundly. "If he does love Lyanna, he'd do anything for her."

"... What do you plan to do, barbarian?"

"Don't insult my liege overlord with such slanderous words." Robert snapped. "I'll smash your head in."

Dennis looked with an unamused expression. "I could not care less what she calls me. What I do care about is getting my Divine Spring of Strength. I need a farm and Rhaegar, as a King, can help me build one."

"Oooooh, I see." Robert nodded excitedly. "Yes, my liege overlord is a bloody genius!"

"..." Dennis raised an eyebrow.

"Was that too much glazing, my liege? I'll try to tone it down a little."

"All you need is... a farm?" Lyanna blinked in bewilderment. "Even I could arrange that, only if-"

"I don't like ifs." Dennis cut her mid-sentence. "Sit quietly."

"No ifs, then. I only need you to-"

"What did I say?" Dennis' voice grew cold. "Let the men do the talking."

"Shut it, wolf woman." Robert sighed, shaking his head. "Is it so difficult?"

"... So be it."

Rhaegar would eventually wake, along with his two Kingsguard.

"Our sleeping beauty is awake." Robert mused.

Dennis whipped out his new whip, stretching it out and tugging it. Grace had spoken of its effectiveness before, but he had yet to see it for himself - in person.

"Right... let's get to business." Dennis looked at Rhaegar, who was still quite dizzy. "I want a big ass farm here. Plenty of cows, sheep, meat... enough meat so that I could eat all day, every day. Then we need some vegetables and fruits here and there. A nice little village for everyone to live and be happy in."

"Self-sufficient... that's the fancy word of the day."

"If I accomplish that, will you release us?" Rhaegar questioned, his violet eyes regaining their light. "Back to the Seven Kingdoms?"

"You? No." Dennis shook his head. "I like your singing."

"... But-"

"But - I'll let Lyanna and the others fuck off. I don't care about them anyways." Dennis shrugged, tugging on his whip. "Now, if you don't get this farm built in a month..."

His lips curled into a grin.

"I'll ravage your wife a hundred times, right in front of you."

Rhaegar's mouth opened wide for a moment. Lyanna felt strange about that comment - she didn't find herself entirely against it.

Dennis wasn't finished.

"Then, I'll let Robert have seconds, and I'll slaughter your entire family back home. Better yet - I'll butcher your entire kingdom."

"Do you understand?"

Rhaegar gulped - he knew Dennis wasn't joking at all. He'd do all of that and more.

"If I succeed, will no harm come to anyone in my Realm - including my family?" Rhaegar questioned.

"Sure, I don't care." Dennis shrugged. "I just want my farm."

"Very well... I agree to your terms."

"Pleasure doing business."

They shook on it, and Rhaegar moved with haste thereafter.